


Strangers

by LucyLightwood



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Divergence, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Sex, Slow Burn, talks about death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-27 14:34:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 141,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyLightwood/pseuds/LucyLightwood
Summary: The first time he sees Malfoy up there, he points his wand at him. And even though he knows he should leave, he decides to stay and sit as far away as possible while they both look over at the same set of stars.They shouldn't be sharing the same room or breathing the same air, but after a month of silent company, it's not Harry who crosses the line first.





	1. Truth and lies

 

The first time he had pulled out his wand, quickly and without thinking. The other boy had stared at him, not surprised and not even alarmed and had done nothing to stop him. It was definitely weird, Harry had thought, how Malfoy wasn't even blinking at being pointed with a wand.  
He regretted reacting that way almost immediately, but he couldn't change it, nor could he change their past.

  
He had gone up there to face his own demons, he had gone up there because his own bedroom felt small and crowded and even though he had never minded small and crowded places, right now he needed to be alone. Maybe the war had changed him beyond repair.  


At first, he hadn't even noticed Malfoy. He had only noticed a shape hidden in the shadows of the Tower, staring up into the night sky. But he only took out his wand when he realized who it was. Maybe that hadn't been his most glorious moment. And it's not like Harry was scared of him or anything, but the memories were still too fresh on his mind.  


That first night he had ran away from that place, from him and from the night sky only to return after a couple days. And Malfoy was there.  
Harry had decided that he was free to do as he pleased, and he was no one to ask him to leave, but he didn't really like having him in a place that meant so much to everyone _but_ him and his Death Eater family.  
But going back meant being in his room and falling quickly into his nightmares, so he had stayed.  


Harry decided to sit far, far away from Malfoy, almost six meters away. He heard a snort from the shadows but decided not to give in and he said nothing.  


They remained in that weird silent company for several nights, their only exchange had happened when Harry couldn't still his tongue anymore, and asked:  


"Why here?"  


"You know why"  


And that had been it. For almost a month, they both sat in the same place at night, staring at the same stars, as physically away as they could be.  


Harry knew it was dumb. They saw each other during class every day, they had bumped into each other on the hallways, barely nodding in acknowledgment and everything was civil. _Civil._  
  


The correct situation was, maybe, that Malfoy was so subdued he wasn't actively pursuing him or bothering him. And _maybe_ that was bothering him as much as everything else.  


Neither of them had a real choice of coming back or not. Malfoy's trial had decided he had to finish his school before paying for his crimes during the war and some charity work he really couldn't remember or care.  


And him... well, let's just say that the first time he went in public and had a panic attack it ended up on every single newspaper. At least back here, even if he didn't feel protected and had nightmares every night, people would leave him be. And he had his friends. He wouldn't be alone.  


Then why did he feel so alone?  


He looked over to where Malfoy was sitting, knees to his chest, arms hugging his legs. Harry reminded himself that they hated each other and he should be incredibly offended that Malfoy had the audacity to show his face around there. But, again, he really didn't have a choice.  


"Two truths and a lie"  


"What?" Harry had been so self absorbed that he blinked twice trying to figure out if Malfoy had truly spoken or if his mind was messing with him.  


"It's a game, Potter, surely you are familiar with it? I think your dear muggles invented it"  


Harry tightened his jaw, because his _tone_ said enough about what he clearly thought of muggles; and Harry didn't know that game because he had never had a normal fucking life. He copied Malfoy, pulling his own knees to his chest and hugging them slightly.  


He could _hear_ Draco rolling his eyes.  


"Each turn we say two truths about ourselves and one lie, the other one has to guess which one is the lie"  


"And if we are wrong?"  


"Don't know, wish to take off a piece of clothing?"  


"You are _sick"_ Harry snapped quickly, hugging his knees tighter and a deep silence fell between them. He hadn't meant to be that harsh, but he wasn't suddenly going to be... all nice and friendly and he wasn't about to get humiliated by him.  


"If you get it wrong, then you won't know which one is a lie. I would drink if you had anything on you but I assume you don't have any alcohol?" Silence "Of course not, why would you?"  


Harry pursed his lips, feeling like that was meant as an insult but he couldn't quite put his finger on why.  


"Fine" Harry finally said, because his curiosity was screaming inside his head and he couldn't handle it when it was about Draco.  


There was another silence, -because everything between them seemed to happen in between silences- until a low familiar voice spoke.  


"I am terribly afraid of the dark" Malfoy shifted a bit, his eyes on the night sky above them. "I am Marked. I actually like cats"  


And then he stared at him, as if he had only said he liked cats and ice cream and bunnies. He had just... Harry tried to remember what he knew about him or... what he didn't. Lucius Malfoy was a death eater so it would only be reasonable to assume his son had followed in his steps.  


"The lie is..." Harry looked away from him, wishing reality were different than it was "you are not afraid of the dark, otherwise you wouldn't be sitting over there"  


"Bravo, Potter"  


He groaned, clutching at his legs a little bit more and realized it was his turn to reveal something of himself. Great. A couple of years back he would have been appalled at the idea, but right now? What did he have to lose? A little voice in his head warned him that this was Malfoy, a Slytherin so cunning he would probably use every single piece of information from him or from any of his enemies to gain advantage in life.  


"I wanted to come back" He shifted uncomfortably because everything that came to mind was sad or terrible "I love Quidditch and wish I could play this year. I actually think you are a good enough seeker" There was a snort

" _Thanks,_ I guess. And that's way too easy, Potter."  
  
"It... is?"

"Yeah. You actually think I'm a _great_ seeker"  


Harry chuckled and shook his head, trying not to look as amused as he was.  


"You didn't want to come back" Malfoy said, this time more serious "That's obvious" Potter sighed, what was the point of this, again?

  
"Your turn"  


Draco let go of his legs, stretching them while his hands held his torso in an upright position.  


"I never killed anyone." He said and cleared his throat. "I can say you-know-who's name. I love my Father"  


Harry frowned.  


"You are cheating"  


"What?" Malfoy stared back, still from a distance because they hadn't moved any closer in all those nights.  


"Those are all true"  


Malfoy stared a bit surprised and then chuckled "Oh, are they?"  


That _fucking_ asshole.    


Alright, alright. There was a lie in all of that... He was sure Malfoy hadn't killed anyone: he wasn't cruel enough to do something like that. He was sure Malfoy loved his father, and _admired_ him. It was so disgusting. But what could he know? He never had one.  
Maybe having a father even as bad as Malfoy's would have been good.  


"You can't say Voldemort"  


"You are surprising me"  


"Why can't you? He lived in your house, probably dined in your table, and you can't say his name? He's dead you know, you won't have to worry about him anymore"  


Draco didn't respond, and okay, explaining their facts wasn't part of the game so he had to swallow whatever the other boy threw at him.  


"I enjoy chocolate ice cream, I fancy Cho" Harry frowned trying to think of another truth that wasn't too revealing but... maybe this was something he needed and his mouth spoke before his brain could stop him "I have nightmares almost every night"  


"You don't fancy Cho anymore" Draco chuckled "You are not making this hard"  


"Oh but you are?"  


"I believe you had to think hard on my last one"  


The blonde boy moved for a moment and it almost seemed as if he wanted to get up and go sit next to him. He stopped, though.  
He sighed and looked at one of his hands. Did he also run out of good things to say? Nah, he could probably talk about all his money and friends and family and his hate for muggle borns.  


"I think every single move I make ahead of time" Malfoy crossed his legs under his body "I fancy Pansy" He smirked at his own rhyme "Being here is not so bad"  


"Did you just copy my lie?"  


"You said Cho, I said Pansy. Two different girls, surely you have noticed?"  


Harry wanted to choke him to death -kind of.  


"Ha, ha, very funny. So who do you like?"  


"Who do _you_ like?"  


Silence. His mind told him _Ginny, of course,_ right?  


"I need to be going" Harry rose from his place, taking a long look at Draco and deciding it was best not to... come back the next night.

 

He came back.


	2. Clouds and rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

The first class they shared after the talk on the Tower was potions, because of course it was. Harry had no idea why he was taking it, maybe without Snape - he thought- he would actually learn something, but so far it had been pointless.

Harry stared how Slughorn gave Malfoy his wand at the beginning of class and how the blonde walked to his desk quickly, making eye contact with him very briefly. Some people still snickered and whispered every time Malfoy had to go and get his wand from the teachers, and Harry was half sure most of them had no idea of the damage they were doing.

The Ministry had decided that Draco could only have his wand while in class and supervised by a teacher, which meant daily humiliation by his peers. At first Harry had thought it was a good thing taking away his wand. Now he wasn't so sure. Malfoy seemed subdued, quiet, a different boy and he wasn't sure he liked it much. It was refreshing not fighting every day, but what was the point of winning a war if people couldn't be how they were anymore?

Ugh, thinking about it made his head hurt.

Harry bit his lower lip and tried to focus on the class, but his eyes kept going to Malfoy who had left his wand over his desk and was already prepping his potion. Things had changed in Slytherin, many friendships - alliances? - had broke. He had no idea if Draco had any friends there anymore.

"You have no idea what we have to do, huh?" Ron chuckled trying to figure out the recipe while Hermione gave them worrying looks.

"I-..." he shook his head, taking classes with the true seventh year students made all of them feel slightly stupid, but it wasn't as if they had repeated the year on purpose.

Ron talked to him while they made the potion, Harry had no idea about what.

"It is an... Attempt" Slughorn smiled at them, all the teachers were way too _nice_ to them. Except Minerva, she was still the same. He really liked her. Too bad she was now Headmistress and wasn't teaching anymore.

"Bloody different than Snape, huh?"

Harry tried not to think too much about his former potions' teacher, it was a delicate subject and he had not told everything to his friends yet. He had told them to stop speaking ill of him, but nothing else. Hermione had given him a look that said "it's the trauma talking" when he 'defended' Snape's memory. And maybe she was right, but what was and wasn't a product of trauma in his life?

Suddenly he wished for the night to come quickly, he still had lunch, and more lessons and maybe after all of that he could evade all of his friends and hide up in the Tower with the one person who he should be avoiding.

This year was supposed to be... To heal a lot of things. Or at least that's what the therapist at San Mungo told him. He had barely spoken to her, but she decided to give him some advice to improve his life or some rubbish like that.

He quickly picked up all of his things the minute the class finished but stayed behind to watch Draco return his wand. Without it, he probably had to do everything like a muggle and that could not sit well with the blonde. It gave Harry a twisted satisfaction... He felt guilty right away.

 

*

That night Draco was laying on his back, one arm behind his head and a hand over his stomach. Harry stood there like a tree until his body decided it was time to stop being a coward and sit next to him. And so he did.

"Hey"

"Didn't think you would come" Malfoy spoke without opening his eyes

"That's a lie"

Only a smile was the response he got. Fine. Harry looked up at the sky again, all those stars just there... Watching everyone make mistakes, Watching people die. He wondered if they were the same stars that shone during the battle of Hogwarts.

"Did you bring any alcohol?"

"What's up with you and alcohol?"

"Maybe I want to get you drunk"

Harry chuckled and shook his head, looking back at the other boy. He had been obsessed enough with him to know how he looked almost from memory. He still wondered where and how he got that shade of white-ish blonde.

"Stop staring" his tone was obnoxious and arrogant and Harry felt alive again.

"Just wondering why you are so damn pale"

"Fuck off" he half meant it, but he hesitated and suddenly Harry hated the fact that he didn't have his wand. Surely with it he would feel safe enough to tease him. Or maybe he got mad at the idea of Malfoy being _scared_ of _him_.

Silence quickly fell between them and neither moved nor made a sound, just letting the minutes go by. It was peaceful, in a way.

"We can play again, if you want" Draco mumbled, still in the same position he had found him.

"Alright" Harry looked back at the other boy, his lashes were long but so blonde they were barely visible. Ugh. Who cared how his lashes were? Harry looked to the clouds starting to cover up the sky he liked so much.

"I was hexed today" Malfoy stretched a bit, like a cat. Harry almost expected him to purr but the thought was quickly pushed to the most dark and deep corner of his mind. "I stole my wand back. And I... Wish it would rain already"

What kind of three facts were those? It almost seemed like... Chatting.

"You didn't stole your wand back. Who hexed you?"

"Unimportant, Potter, focus on the game" he went so quickly from sad puppy to obnoxious prat.

"Fine." Harry groaned "I was almost sorted into Slytherin" Draco opened his eyes and stared at him, intently "I died, once. And I hate you"

Malfoy snorted "Do you even _try_ to play this right? You never died, Potter. People don't come back. That one's the lie."

"Wrong"

Malfoy's head turned back like a whip at that. It was interesting how easily Harry discovered how Draco thought he felt about him. Hm, maybe he would have been a good Slytherin after all.

"You were never considered for Slytherin?" He tried again, more urgently

"You lost, deal with it. It's your turn"

Malfoy was clearly furious but decided to leave it at that. He wondered why he didn't start a fight.

"I think... I think..."

"You think?" harry felt like whatever it was, it was something honest, something that scared Draco.

"Nothing. My three facts: I read muggle books, I actually liked aunt Andromeda as a kid, and I still have the same beliefs"

Potter bit the inside of his lip quite hard, knowing they were touching dangerous territory and it would only ruin the one moment he felt at peace. Damn it.

"You met Andromeda? I thought she was..."

"Banished? Yeah, but Mother is softer than you would believe"

Harry knew Narcissa had no love for him or his friends, but he owed her and... She had always seemed to be a good mother to Draco. And that's what mattered, right? For a moment he wondered if she was marked too, ugh, he was going to be sick.

"You... Don't have the same beliefs"

Draco looked into his eyes and nodded "Correct"

It wasn't all that hard to believe after everything that had transpired, but still...

"Really?"

"No" Malfoy looked at him as if he was a child "Merlin, Potter, there are certain things I still believe in... But I do not think killing is the answer, or torture or..." he shivered and Harry had the sudden need to give him his cloak. "I _do_ think we are getting weaker, losing our traditions and risking being discovered. And I do not plan on burning on a stake, Potter"

"Muggles don't do that... Anymore"

"No, not 'anymore': _yet_. They dont do that yet. And thanks to our little war, we have less powerful mages than ever. We were so stupid" he covered his eyes with both hands.

"Malfoy, there is no war. Muggles won't know who we are. Calm down, okay?"

Draco uncovered his eyes but didn't look back at him.

"Muggle books, huh?"

"Fuck _off_ "

Harry laughed at how offended he was by that and maybe he should be a little bit angry but he didn't believe Draco actually hated... Well, muggle borns as much. He clearly hated muggles.

"When did you-?"

"We are playing, not chatting, Potter. Come on, say your truth and your lie"

Harry sighed, he was so impossible.

"I followed you all of sixth ye-"

"are you even trying, Potter? Merlin!"

"Fuck _you_ "

Draco sat up so fast, his hand went to his wand as a reflex. And there was no way the blonde hadn't noticed that. Damn it.

"Are you going to hex me? Go ahead" Malfoy moved towards him in a way he wasn't expecting. Harry backed away lowering his wand because it was stupid. It was so stupid and he didn't mean it.

"Look, I am not going to sit here and tell you everything about me"

Draco wasn't really looking at him anymore, or at least it didn't look like it. He was staring at his wand. Shit, he probably missed making magic but... He couldn't give it to him. He quietly tucked it back in his pocket.

"Okay, Okay... I'll play"

"I don't wish to anymore"

Great. Now he was fucking moody. Harry pursed his lips and decided to leave, he didn't know how to deal with Malfoy and honestly he didn't want to. What was the real reason they were playing that game or even going up there? He couldn't trust Malfoy, he couldn't.

Harry hurried towards the set of stairs, trying to convince himself he was never going back up there and that, if he needed to be alone at night, he could go to the roof or outside or something. Anywhere but there.

His feet touched the steps when Malfoy' s voice pierced right through the dark: "Good night, Potter"

It was but a whisper and even though his brain kept telling him not to go back, his chest wanted desperately to turn around.

Harry didn't realize he was running until he stopped at Gryffindor dorm room's entrance and he was out of breath.

*

Harry was grumpy all morning, snapping at his friends, or remaining completely silent for long periods of time. After leaving Malfoy back in the Tower, it had been incredibly difficult to fall asleep and when he did monsters crawled from the depths of his mind. He placed a silencing charm every night so no one could hear him scream in the morning, since waking up with a sore throat was almost routine by now.

His eyes fell on the blonde again and anger bubbled inside of him. Malfoy looked tired yet calm. It wasn't fair.

Harry used the back of his hands to rub his eyes, mimicking Draco's movements the night before.

"Harry, are you okay, mate?"

He didn't want to be mean to his friend. Maybe it had been a mistake to come back to Hogwarts. Harry had been advised against it, but how could he trust anyone? Aurors wanted him, the papers wanted him, hell, even some Quidditch teams... Staying out in the world was staying in the wolf's mouth.

"Fine. Just a headache" it was partially true anyways.

They had a free period before Defense and sitting outside might have been a bad decision. Harry didn't expect to have Malfoy in his eyesight so soon, they weren't supposed to have any classes together that day and _yet_ the blonde found a fucking way to... Invade his thoughts.

Harry noticed Malfoy was sitting by himself on the grass, -which seemed so uncharacteristic- slowly biting an apple and reading a book. A smile crept up on him remembering his 'secret' love for muggle books. Agh, but why was he alone? Malfoy always had someone following him or around him, it used to piss Harry off.

Maybe he could ask him about it that night... No, no more nights. No more.

Lightning rippled through the sky and a loud thunder sounded off in the distance a few moments later. Students started to scatter off, running back to the Castle. Maybe they should do the same.   
  
Malfoy lazily closed his book and stood up, trying to clean as much grass as possible from his clothes. Harry had to repress a smile because the blonde boy had terribly failed and had some pieces of grass clinging to his robe.   
  
Harry stood up from the bench but wasn't fast enough to avoid the big drops of water that had decided to finally arrive. He ran, out of pure instinct and not out of necessity. If it were for him, he would have just stood there and let the rain fall on his body. It would've been nice.   
  
The loud chatter from everyone around him at the castle's entrance was deafening and his pulse started running fast. Shit. He tried to remind himself that he was _not_ going to have a heart attack, that everything was fine.  
  
Harry tried to find some steady ground, but his eyes decided that the steady ground had to be Malfoy. Because of course it had to be. Harry didn't notice how fisted his own hands were. He stared at Malfoy who was completely drenched and starting to shiver.   
  
Why wasn't he getting dry like everyone else...? Oh, right. Shit. Harry didn't want to talk to him or get close to him or do anything involving him at all, but Malfoy's lower lip was turning blue-ish and that couldn't be right. Could bodies do stuff like that? I mean, of course but... He was so pale and now he was turning blue and he was cold and...  
  
Harry moved his wand casting a drying spell without even thinking about it twice.   
  
"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Malfoy's cold bored voice pierced through the air and the chatter was subdued to slow whispers, everyone paying attention to them now. Fuck. Why did he have to go and make a big deal about it?  
  
"A simple thanks would do, Malfoy"  
  
"Stay the fuck away from me" He spat, throwing daggers out of his grey eyes. Why were they so grey? How? Maybe he truly was part veela or whatever.   
  
"I was just helping!"  
  
"Well I don't need your fucking help, Potter!"  
  
Harry moved towards him without even noticing, it was all like before and it didn't feel as wrong as he hoped it would.   
  
"Really? Because it looked like you did!"  
  
"Oh I needed help? _I_ needed the help?" He laughed, cold and trying to hurt him. Harry panicked, Malfoy knew so much about him at the moment and any of the things they had shared could be used to hurt him "Maybe YOU are the one that needs help since it's you who's..."  
  
And for some reason, he stopped. Harry stood there, staring into his eyes and fully aware of all the people around them.   
  
"Just fuck off, Potter" Malfoy grumbled and walked away leaving him quite surprised.   
  
Ron said something about how Malfoy surely didn't want to get into a fight he couldn't win, but Harry knew that wasn't it. Malfoy maybe couldn't win a fistfight or a magic duel but he was good with words and he could do some damage. No. He had not done that out of self preservation, he had actually... stopped so no one would hear Harry's secrets?   
  
"Yeah, I... Uh" Harry heard himself say while people dispersed "I gotta... uh" He pointed to no direction and ran towards the hallway Malfoy had gone.  
  
He couldn't find him. Shit.  
  
He would have to wait until the night to go ask him what the hell that was. 

Suddenly he realized that was the first time in a long while he was actually excited about something.


	3. Maybe

The storm got stronger as the hours passed by, and when night came the thunders and wind made it almost impossible to think about anything else. Harry carefully slid out of bed and out of his quarters, his roommates still fast asleep.

He tried not to run towards the Astronomy Tower, but it was really hard to control himself when his mind had only thought of Malfoy and their 'fight' earlier that day.  
  
He jumped up the steps, careful not to fall on his face -that would make Malfoy laugh, surely- feeling that sort of nervousness you get when you are about to face something you waited for all day.

Usually, Harry would have noticed how certain protection spells kept the tower dry and safe from the elements, but the only thing he noticed that night was how empty the tower was.

Malfoy wasn't there.

A heavy brick settled on his chest, making it harder to breathe, painful even. He moved to the place where Malfoy usually sat and his hands became fists, suddenly furious. Why wasn't he there? He didn't notice how quickly he was breathing or the way his heartbeat was making his veins pop.

Harry kicked the wall once, twice, three times without even stopping to breathe, each time harder and with more intention. His foot hurt, and maybe it was broken or maybe he had just broken a toenail. Why should he care? He had had a broken bone before Hogwarts and the Dursleys took two days before sending him to the Hospital... He could live with a stupid broken toe.

Suddenly he felt even more angry, angry at the Dursleys, angry at his parents for dying, angry at Voldemort and angry at himself for having been born.

"Potter"

Harry turned around quickly. Malfoy was right there at the stairs, giving him an expression he had never seen before. The boy quickly closed the gigantic distance between them and placed a hand on his shoulder. Harry jumped at the touch by instinct, and Malfoy moved his hand away.

"Stop that or you will hurt yourself and I will not wake Granger"

"It... It's okay"

"Is it?"

Anger bubbled inside him again at how annoying it was when Malfoy answered with a stupid question like that.

"I-... Maybe we can..."

"No, we cannot. It is too cold up here tonight"

His heart fell right to his feet again, and something inside his head tried to tell himself that he was so susceptible because of... Everything that had happened with the war and his nightmares and NOT because he couldn't be with Draco that night.

"Oh. I guess I will go back..."

"To your chambers? Absolutely not. Follow me"

If anyone had told Harry a couple of years back that he would be willingly - and happily- following Malfoy around Hogwarts without really knowing where they were going, he would have laughed for hours. Yet here he was, staring at the back of a blonde head while quietly moving from hallway to hallway trying to avoid ghosts and prefects.

He had no idea where they were going, the Room of Requirement was definitely not an option and he didn't know of any other safe spaces...

Malfoy finally stopped in front of a door and pulled out an old key from his pocket, everything was so weird. Maybe inside that room there would be Slytherins ready to mock him and murder him.

"This is Pansy's, actually"

Yup, that didn't make anything clearer. Malfoy must have noticed his face because he continued talking.

"She came across this room back when we were prefects. Stole the key and kind of... Fixed the interior" he sighed "So if there's anything pink in here, it's hers"

"Aha" Harry said in a teasing tone, following him inside. The room was small, clearly an old classroom or storage room that had been abandoned a long time ago. The posters on the walls were definitely Pansy's since he was pretty sure Draco had no interest in wizard rock bands or anything of the like. There was something like a bed filled with cushions taking over one of the corners and almost half of the space.

"So you came here to snog her?"

Malfoy snorted while taking off his shoes and throwing himself onto the 'bed'. Harry still wasn't sure if it was a bed, a big couch, or a huge mattress. It was all probably done with magic so it _probably_ was all of those three combined.

He finally decided to also take his shoes off, placing them neatly next to Draco's. Alright, this was nice, and normal. Sure, super normal.  
  
"Why did you got so mad at me? You were shivering"

Malfoy sighed, covering his eyes with one arm "Why does it matter?"

Honestly one day he was going to choke him. "Because I thought we were going to end up fighting in the hall"

"I bet you would have liked that"

Harry grumbled, maybe he would have. Maybe being punched would make him feel something, anything. And yet...the thought of punching Malfoy and leaving marks on his body did not sit well with him.

"I don't think I would have liked that, no"

Malfoy pursed his lips, they weren't blue-ish now, more like hot pink. He didn't seem to be willing to speak anymore so Harry decided to accommodate himself next to him, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling.

"How come you were up there every night if you had this place?"

"Oh I just _adore_ stars" his stone was sarcastic. Harry said nothing, and eventually heard a groan "Pansy only gave me the key today, alright? After our fight, she thought I needed a safe space"

"She... Wait, she thought I was going to hurt you?"

Harry was more alarmed by the minute, did it also mean Pansy knew about their nights?

"She did say you followed right after me"

Shit. Yes, he had done that but not to fight... Great, people had misunderstood the whole situation. They always misunderstood everything. He already imagined the papers: Boy who lived faces school rival, or worse. Maybe they would call him a bully, hell, the papers probably thought Malfoy deserved anything bad from him. Would they call it justice if he fought with Malfoy in front of everyone?

"Only to... Thank you"

"Thank me?" he was honestly surprised, Harry wondered if he had failed at concealing that emotion from him or if Malfoy wasn't actively controlling his every move around him. "Why?"

"You could have... Exposed me, probably even gaining more ground among your fellow Slytherins, but you didn't. That was nice."

Malfoy looked over at him, shifting slightly on the bed "Aha"

"You can say you are welcome, it won't make us friends or anything"  
  
"Hm"  
  
He truly was infuriating, wasn't he? Harry decided to let it be, and stayed  there laying on his back staring at the ceiling. By all means it was a normal room, and Harry felt like a normal guy with a... friend? Foe? What were they, again?  
  
A thunder sounded off in the distance, and Harry wondered how loud it must have truly been for them to hear it inside the Castle. Malfoy didn't seem to notice, his breathing slow and steady and an arm over his eyes. Was he asleep? Nah, nobody slept that tense. Right?  
  
Perhaps he should just close his eyes and doze off... No, that would be a terrible idea, falling asleep with him would mean that Malfoy would hear his screams and probably get a good idea of what his nightmares were all about and he could not allow that to happen.  
  
"So I guess you are going to come here at night now"  
  
"Maybe"  
  
"Maybe?"

Malfoy took his arm off his eyes and turned his head to stare right at him "I don't know, Potter. Okay?" His tone was calm and low and... it was nice.

"Pansy uses it too, then?"

Draco smirked and shook his head "No, of course not. And she's leaving after the winter break"

What?

"Can she do that?"

"Anyone can drop out of Hogwarts at any time, and apparently she got one of those offers you-really-can't-refuse. I don't think she really wanted to come back, anyway"

"Why do you think she did?"

It was obvious, and neither of them said a word. "So you and her...?" It was a bit hard for him to imagine Malfoy with anyone other than Pansy. Well... maybe not. Maybe imagining Malfoy and Pansy together was as ludicrous as imagining him and Hermione as a couple.

Draco simply shook his head "No, of course not. She's a... friend"

"Not so sure about that now?"

"Not so simple, Potter"

Yeah, it probably wasn't. How do you deal with being friends with someone after a terrible war? He had friends but they had all stood on the same side always and their families weren't completely insane.

"Is it because of her fam-..."

"Not necessarily"

"What do you mean?"

Draco sighed and looked conflicted but finally spoke with a very matter-of-fact tone "After everything that happened we need to look out for ourselves. It's important to know where to stand and which alliances to maintain or break. I wasn't left in a good position after the war, so I am not the first option"

"But weren't you two friends?"

Anger flashed from Draco's eyes and he wondered if his question had been _that_ stupid.

"Friendship is not all that matters in life. That's why you would never survive in Slytherin"

"Maybe I would"

Draco pressed his lips together "Yeah, maybe"

An uncomfortable silence fell between them and Harry started to feel anxious and awkward. He quickly sat up, knees pressed to his chest like he had seen Draco do so many times during all those nights together and how he had done all those years living under the stairs. Maybe he should just leave, forget that night ever happened and go back to his room, fall asleep, have nightmares, rinse and repeat.   
  
"I heard Granger got one of those"  
  
What?  
  
"What?"  


"One of those offers-you-can't refuse, from the Ministry. It was the talk around Slytherin."   
  
How come Slytherins knew about this and not him? A little voice on his head told him _exactly_ why, but it only made him angry. The reason behind why Hermione had probably not told him about it was that she didn't want to upset him. Everyone seemed to tiptoe around him waiting for him to crack. She should go, if she wanted that. Ron too, for all he cared.   
  
"How come you are here and not out there? I am sure you got some offers"  
  
Harry scoffed, he had gotten a lot of offers from different people but he had no clue what he was going to do with his life. A year ago he thought he was going to die, and suddenly everyone expected him to know what to do for the rest of his... life. The papers kept coming up with stories: auror! quidditch player! philanthropist!.   
  
"I wish they would leave me the fuck alone" Harry whispered, trying not to sound as jaded as he felt.   
  
"They will, eventually"   
  
Was Malfoy trying to soothe him?  
  
"Maybe"  
  
There was a little sound of agreement from the blonde and then silence, but not an uncomfortable one like before, a nice one.   
  
Harry had not stopped to think about why Hermione or Ron had truly came back to Hogwarts with him. Herm loved studying but Ron despised it. Harry's stomach turned picturing the talk they probably had about him and about how sad he was and how they should go with him.   
  
He didn't want anyone's pity. He was perfectly capable of being sad and pathetic on his own.   
  
His thoughts drifted to Ginny whom he had been avoiding for a long time now. It's not that he didn't want to see her, but it was so... awkward and he had no clue how to talk to her anymore and she probably wanted more than he could give. If his friends left he would be all alone with her and no one to buffer between them.  
  
"I don't think they'll leave you"  
  
"I don't care what you-..." Harry stopped himself, shit. "I'm sorry, Malfoy"  
Those grey eyes were looking at him and murdering him in so many ways. Harry swallowed and shrugged, trying to show him -somehow- that he wasn't doing anything on purpose and his feelings were... so weird lately. "I just... I wish they would do what they want for once"  
  
"They are not going to leave you alone" Draco said stretching on the bed like a cat before sitting with his back against the wall. "It's not a big deal, Potter, let them. You are avoiding them anyway"  
  
"What? No, I am not"  
  
Draco moved his hands to point at where they were and yeah, maybe he _was_ avoiding them a little bit but... What was wrong about that?  
  
"Whatever you say, Potter"  
  
"It's just..." He started but trailed off, having no idea how to explain all of this to Malfoy of all people.   
  
"You wish people would leave you be for once?"  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Hm, I guess I couldn't know anything about that" He was being sarcastic and this time he didn't feel like choking him.   
  
Harry sat up with his legs crossed under his body and stared at the boy who had dark eye bags and his hair slightly out of order. Maybe he had nightmares too?   
  
"I don't want to be your enemy" Harry said.   
  
"Me neither, Potter"  
  
"Truce?"  
  
"I thought we were already on one"  
  
Harry shrugged and offered his hand out, the other boy seemed to think about it for a moment but eventually squeezed it. Their hands touched for about a minute, and Harry assumed that was a normal amount of time to do something like that but it still felt like too long, too much...   
  
"Did you not get any? Offers, I mean" Draco smiled a sad smile and he felt bad for him. "You will, once all of this blows over. I'm sure there are a lot of... pure bloods who still think highly of your family"  
  
"You don't understand" Malfoy closed his eyes, his head pressed against the wall "I am not in the best of graces with pure blooded families. And no, do not ask me why, please."  
  
Harry pressed his lips together feeling curiosity creep up on him. It was impossible not to feel like that. Since sixth year he had wondered why he had such an interest in Malfoy. Yes, that time he had followed him around with a good cause and he had been completely justified but even he knew now how _far_ he had took it. That year, at some point, Malfoy was all he thought about. What he did, what he didn't do, who he talked and how he talked to them. Only now he realized he had never stopped to wonder why he did what he did. He had always assumed it was Death Eater business or some other nefarious reason.   
  
"Okay, I won't ask"  
  
That didn't mean he couldn't... try to figure it out on his own. Right?   
  
"Thank you"  
  
Harry smiled at him, suddenly feeling like he had a purpose again, even if it only was to figure out what the fuck had left Malfoy so out of everyone's graces.   
  
He was Marked, for God's sake, that clearly should be enough for all those pure bloods to still consider him of _value_  right? It made his stomach turn but those were the laws in Malfoy's circles.   
  
"I can _hear_  you thinking, Potter. Please stop" He whispered, one of his feet touching his knee and pushing it slightly.  
  
"Nope"  
  
Malfoy smiled, but his eyes remained closed and he looked extremely tired now. Maybe they weren't so different after all.   
  
Maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you can!


	4. Dust

Screaming on the inside was a part of his life, he had no recollection as to when that feeling had started but once it did it never stopped. That, and the feeling of being alone while in the middle of a crowd.

Harry had spent the night next to him - _with_ him- and it had been amicable. Sometimes he was sure he had hit his head and was actually in a coma in San Mungo, dreaming all of it. It wouldn't be the first time he dreamt about Harry.

Potter's motivations as to why he remained close to him were still unclear. The damned Gryffindor probably thought he was planning something. Draco frowned, focusing on the cover details of the book in front of him, Harry didn't seem to be suspicious of him - not all the time, at least. Maybe he truly had an interest...

He closed his eyes and breathed in once, twice, three times. _Do not be a fool, Draco_ he told himself turning the page but not quite sure he knew what he was reading anymore. Harry hadn't shared much: something about his nightmares and how Hogwarts brought back bad memories. Maybe if he were still 13 years old he would capitalize on that to make fun of him, but humiliating Harry had lost all appeal a while back. Something else kept him up at night: the simple fact that Harry did not hate him. It was odd how much his reality could change with a simple fact.

As long as he could remember the law of the world was that Potter hated him and he hated Potter. Now it turned out that wasn't true. Draco had figured out a long time ago he didn't _hate_ Harry, but he had buried that fact inside one of his many little boxes where he stored almost everything.

A hand moved on its own to his left arm, touching the place where his bandage was - and under it the Mark.

Growing up the idea of being Marked just like Father was seemed an honor, something to make his ancestors proud. It had been received in a blaze of agony and fear. No glory there, and no pride in his Father's eyes either. After that, everything had gone downhill.

He swallowed, forcing everything to get back in his little box, it was better that way.

His eyes moved to his arm, no one could say he was Marked when he wore clothes, but it was there, right under his sleeve and the bandage he had so carefully placed. He knew that if Harry ever caught as much as a glimpse of it, their truce would go to hell and he'd be back in Potter's blacklist. Well, it was only fair, wasn't it?

Draco decided to close his book, nothing good was going to come out of that study session and got up. The library was completely empty during dinner time, it was a good thing he had gone without supper almost all of the past year.

The first few weeks he skipped dinner Pansy smuggled some food back into the Common room for him, but gave up when she realized he only threw it away. Waking up covered in sweat after a nightmare was better with an empty stomach.

Walking back to Slytherin he carefully avoided hallways crowded with people, he had investigated the castle enough during sixth year to know where to go if he wanted to be sneaky. He still wondered how Harry managed to... Find him so many times that year. Hm, maybe he could ask him.

Would he tell the truth? Or lie? Had _anything_ been true? What if Harry was the one playing _him_? He had to consider every option...

No. Harry was too much of a Gryffindor and, even if he tried, he wasn't that smart. Well, being smart was overrated.

His room was empty by the time he got there, all green and silver. Sharing a room had never bothered him much, he went back to the mansion during the summer and he had his own room there. Hogwarts was the only time he would have to share a room with people his age, and it had been good for the most part.

Now? It was terrible. Every time he went there he remembered the fire, and the friend he lost. Crabbe had not been very smart or cunning but he liked to follow orders and was loyal to a fault, a trait Draco had always valued. Of course it wasn't only about value or convenience, they had been friends. Hard not to share almost seven years of your life and not become friends. Things had changed at the end but... everything had.  

_Put it in a box, Draco. It can't hurt you if you put it in there_

He closed the curtains around his bed, wishing he could throw a protective spell or a silencing one. No one was going to harm him, at least not physically, and pranks had really disappeared in Slytherin after the war.

Not many students came back to finish their seventh year, and the ones that did were still trying to go back to normal.

After the winter holidays he was going to be alone. Pansy was leaving and Blaise hadn't returned. Hell, he didn't even write him a letter. His mother was surely making his life miserable and associating with a Malfoy wasn't a good idea at the time. Draco understood that, and knew that he would have done the same thing in his shoes.

He had to wait for everyone to get in bed before slipping out of the room. Draco was really tired that night, and considered not meeting Harry but...

"I hate you" he whispered against his pillow.

 

Draco woke with all of his muscles hard as rocks, the giant snake still fresh on his mind. His nightmares were always different, and the theme this week was that stupid fucking snake. His lips were dry and his sheets wet from his sweat but he had not screamed, he hadn't even tousled his blankets. He had learned the hard way it wasn't good to show weakness.

A sudden wave of panic ran over his body, it was late, ha had fallen asleep... _Harry_.

*

"You are going to get sick" Draco whispered, sitting next to him. The boy-who-lived, Hero of the People, Golden Boy, and all of that was a little ball on the floor, his glasses falling from his nose. They weren't friends, but if they had been Draco would have laughed and maybe run a hand through his perfect mess of hair.

"Wha-... Malfoy!" Harry quickly sat up, his hands clumsily trying to stop his glasses from sliding down the front of his shirt.

"Fell asleep "

"'s okay."

_Is it?_

"You should go to bed" Draco could not believe his own words "We both should. It's getting colder and colder up here"

Harry seemed conflicted, as if he wanted to object but probably saw the truth in his words. Hogwarts' new protections made snow not get inside the Tower but it was still freezing.

"Yeah, you are right"

Harry stared and he realized they weren't exactly moving. Tsk. He wasn't going to make it easy, was he?

"Do you have your wand?"

"Uh... Of course..."

Why, oh why did he have to get that expression? The one that was like a confused deer.

"Make a copy of this, come on" Draco said, placing the key he had used the night before between them. "You _can_ make a copy, right?"

" _Yes_ , of course I can"

"Well, get on to it, Potter. I am freezing"

His lower lip trembled a little bit and he tried very hard not to shiver. Draco hated his low tolerance of cold weather almost as much as he hated the Summer.

"Yeah, you are"

Merlin, had Potter hit his head while he wasn't around? Draco impatiently stared at the key when a curtain of gold and red flashed in front of his eyed and... Potter had given him his scarf.

"There" He sounded so damn pleased with himself and he was so out of words.

Potter transformed a rock into another key, equal to the one he had and they both got up.

His scarf smelled like him, and it was weird because he had never been close enough to know how he smelled like. The only chance had been during _the_ _fire_ , but everything smelled like smoke and death. Draco touched the wool a little bit, accommodating it around his neck a little bit better while Harry walked in front of him. Harry clearly had a great memory and a sense of orientation because he was leading.

They had agreed not to go to their rooms without even saying a word. It had taken him years to accomplish that type of communication with his friends, but apparently only a couple of months around Potter was enough.

"I am so tired" Potter whispered the moment they got into the room, taking off his shoes and cloak. He folded it neatly which was weird, weren't all Gryffindors messy? His hair was messy and his handwriting was a complete disaster... Merlin, he shouldn't care so much.

He followed suit, taking off his shoes but throwing them around.

Ugh, he didn't want to get rid of his scarf, even if it had those terrible colors. Draco sighed leaving it to the side before laying down in the big bed, he was truly tired.

He started to doze off before realizing it, hearing the other boy's soft breathing. It was nice to be there, and to be able to relax...

"Malfoy?"

"hm?"

"Good night"

 

*  


The thing the library had the most besides books was dust, it got into absolutely everything each time they'd pull a book from the shelves. Harry had no idea how it was possible with the amount of students coming and going every day.

"Herm are you sure you need four books about the alchemical properties of...?"

"Of course I do!" she hastily picked up her pile of books, hurrying to a table nearby "What are you reading?"

Harry shrugged and pulled out his potions book. Reading Defense seemed pointless after what they had been through and he wasn't so bad in his other classes so... Potions was the best one to try and understand. Or at least it was a good excuse to go to the library and smuggle the book he actually wanted to read. He hoped Herm hadn't noticed him hiding it inside his bag.

"Harry"

He looked up, finding a look he knew so well, the one that screamed 'I am worried, Harry and as the mom friend I have to say something' only that now -since she and Ron were an item- it said 'WE are worried'. Christ.

"Yes?" Harry looked down into his book, finding it oh so much more interesting than a second ago.

"Ron told me you haven't been sleeping in your room"

"I have"

He heard a small tap on the table, oh no, she had closed her book. Hermione's hand came to rest on one of his wrists.

"None of us are getting enough sleep, Harry... You know you can talk to us"

"It's not that" He looked up, feeling silly for being so annoyed at her. "Walking makes me feel better"

"You walk all night?"

_Damn it, Ron_

"I always come back to my bed. I am fine, okay? You two don't need to worry, nobody is trying to murder me anymore" Harry said, pulling his arm away from her hand and gazing back to his book.

There was a small silence and then he heard pages being turned. Oh, thank Merlin.

He had planned on asking her about Malfoy and the unspoken-rules of being a pureblood wizard or something, Herm probably read all about it at some point. Now? No way. If he started asking questions about Malfoy of all people his friends would think he had gone mad. And yeah, maybe he had, but he was damn free to go mad now. He was free to do whatever, right?

But what did he even want?

Harry frowned, re-reading the same paragraph for the fifth time. Potions was the worst subject and he could see no use for it, period. He thought about that time he saved Ron's life by remembering something from potions. Alright: it had _one_ use.

"Where's Ron?" he asked suddenly, they hadn't talked since breakfast and he wasn't sure he had actually listened. Hermione didn't look up from her notes.

"Flying with Ginny, she wanted some tips for the next Quidditch game"

They shared a small smile, that was really cute actually. Harry wondered if his parents would have wanted to have more kids... It would be nice, having siblings like Ron's.

"I actually thought she would ask you for... Help"

Oh. _Oh, no_.

"Haven't talked to her"

"Harry, don't be scared. You have known her for years... It's not like your date with Cho"

Oh, Merlin, he really didn't want to remember that embarrassing moment of his life.

"It's not about that"

"Okay" her little smirk said otherwise.

"Really, it's not"

"Whatever you say"

Harry bit his lip, the book in his bag heavier by the minute. Alright, it didn't matter if everyone thought he liked Ginny. After all, he did. Right? She was nice, and an amazing woman. Maybe that should be one of his plans for the future. Getting married, having kids.

"Herm, I am going back to the common room. It's too quiet here" She gave him a weird look but nodded, burying her nose back in her huge books.

He avoided people back in the Common Room, and made for his bedroom. A smile appeared on his face the moment he closed the curtains around his bed: success!

It took him two paragraphs to get completely infuriated with whomever had written that stupid book. It was filled with discriminatory arguments and belonged in the restricted section with the rest of the forbidden books.

It probably had slip under the radar because it was an old one, and the beliefs in that book weren't exactly _illegal._ They should be, after what Voldemort had done, they should be but they weren't. Hm. Maybe that would change now.  


Harry noticed his mind drifting back to unpleasant memories, so he focused on the task at hand. There were lists of pure-blooded families dating back centuries, he recognized some and never heard of others. Most of them probably died out while he was still a baby, hell, while his parents were babies.   


Apparently pure blooded families could cut off members of their family for things as simple and vague as "bringing shame to the family name" or "losing copious amounts of money in a distasteful manner". His godfather had been cut off when... Harry swallowed pure sand inside his throat and closed his eyes.   


"This is pointless" He whispered closing the book again. He wasn't going to understand what was going on with Malfoy or why he was the way that he... Well, he knew Lucius Malfoy and that man had no room for compassion or love, of course his son would end up being the way that he was.  


Harry frowned, feeling like he wasn't being completely fair with Malfoy. He had no idea how his childhood had been and... Malfoy wasn't like his father. That was pretty clear.   


Harry sat up when he heard voices coming into the room, and quickly reached for his wand to secure the curtains...   


"Did you see his face?"  


"Yeah, he was pale like a ghost"  


"It's not funny, guys" Ron said, and Harry was sure that -whatever had happened- had been bad.   


"It was funny! Are you kidding me? I've never seen that git so flustered"  


Someone laughed. Harry was getting more and more alarmed by the minute.   


"Yeah I hate Malfoy like everyone else" Harry could almost hear Ron's shrug "But it was really not cool... Do you think it's true?"  


"It definitely sounded like it"  


Harry's heart started beating way too fast, and he opened his curtains startling the three boys in front of him. It was a little bit surprising the fact that Neville came back for another year. Well, it wasn't like he had parents waiting with hot cocoa back home, was it?   
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Harry, uh, well..." Harry didn't know the boy, he was a Gryffindor and was the one who found _it_ so _funny._ Harry felt like punching him.   
  
Ron touched his arm, pulling him a little bit away while the others stared at him a bit scared.   
  
"What. Happened."  
  
"It was nothing, really. No one was hurt"  
  
Harry frowned.   
  
"That's not an answer"  
  
"Harry, why do you care? It's... It's just Malfoy"  
  
That made him ten times more angry.   
  
"I am _just_ asking what the _hell_ happened"   
  
Ron sighed and touched his red hair. "Someone grabbed a letter Malfoy's mum sent him. They started mocking him about something, no one really heard the entire thing, it's not that bad..."  
  
"Did no one stop it?"  
  
Ron made a guilty face and looked away. Wow.   
  
"Yeah, I do guess it's _nothing_ "  
  
"Harry, hey, wait-..."  
  
He didn't wait for Ron to speak or for anyone else to say anything to him before running off the room. _Shit._ Harry had a slight idea of what had happened, but the contents of that letter could be more than harmful. What if Narcissa Malfoy had added details about what they did for Voldemort? What if she had shared any information about her husband's mental state? Or their state with the law? That was more than enough information to put absolutely everyone at Hogwarts against Draco and his whole family.

It was bad, it was definitely bad.

  
He had to find him. No idea as to why or what he could do, but he just knew he had to find him and reassure him that everything was fine.

Everything had to be fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small delay - I had the worst migraine and a deadline from College so I kind of spent the last two days in bed and dying from stress. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a comment if you can x)


	5. The Beginning

Harry hesitated in front of the door to the 'safe room', he wasn't sure if Malfoy was going to be there or if he should even be going there. What had happened had not been his fault, he didn't have to feel so uncomfortable... But he did. He was sure Malfoy would be in a _mood,_ or maybe crying or something. Harry wanted to turn back, but he didn't.

The door opened without a single sound and he slipped inside. He had been careful enough as to check if people were following him - no one seemed to know about that room. Except for him and Draco, and well, Pansy.

As suspected, Malfoy was there with an arm over his eyes, his whole body sprawled over the bed. Was he... Okay? He didn't seem to be crying but he didn't look good either.

He remembered _that_ day in that bathroom, the way Malfoy had been sobbing like a child.. And how mad he had felt. He remembered that day perfectly well. It was the first time he thought he killed someone. It had been terrifying.

"M-..."

"Do you have _any_ alcohol, Potter?"

"No"

His voice was ice cold and Harry felt trapped in a room with a snake.. Any sudden moves and he'd get bit.

"Then you should leave"

"Malfoy..."

Silence. Should he? Leave? Harry bit his lower lip and gave a step towards the boy, curiosity and worry killing him. He sat on a small portion of the bed and stared at the pale boy.

"I heard about what happened"

Malfoy moved his arm away from his eyes and stared at the ceiling. Harry had never wished so much to know what someone else was thinking until that moment.

"Did you, now? Came to gloat?"

"Why would I-...? What did your mom write to you?"

"It's none of your fucking business!"

Harry sighed trying not to get mad, because an argument between them could very easily end up with both of them in the infirmary and he had no intentions of drawing attention to himself.

"Felt good to say it" Malfoy added, sitting very slowly and turning to see him.

"You didn't defend yourself?"

"Oh yes, because I wish to give them any more reason to hex me, Potter. Do you know anything about self preservation?"

"No" Harry said with a soft smile on his face. The other boy seemed to relax for a moment, but didn't smile back.

"No, I guess you don't." He sighed "Mother was worried for my well-being. Apparently Father is not taking the house arrest very well and-"

"You don't have to tell me..."

Draco shrugged "Mother is not stupid, half the things she put in that letter only I understood."

"So... That's it?"

"Excuse you?"

Harry shrugged "For what I heard you were petrified... But those things sound normal to me. I get the invasion of privacy thing but it wasn't such a big deal"

Draco scoffed "Fucking raised by muggles, weren't you?" he meant it as an insult, great. Just great. It wasn't going to end well "People knowing my Father is weak is bad for us. Terribly so. Makes people who should be afraid of us not afraid, and it makes our allies _doubt_ which is perfect for our enemies"

"Life is not all about alliances. The war is over"

Draco rolled his eyes, hard. "It is not about war! We are an important family, we have... We have money" He seemed unsure about that "And power is the most important thing! Can't you understand that?"

"You are all alive, isn't that enough?"

There was a long, heavy silence between them and he saw Draco's internal conflict.

"We have to live, not only survive. Sometimes I think Father would have preferred to... Die. Other times I am sure he is happy, but it's hard to know with him"

Lucius Malfoy was a dangerous topic. They shared no love, and it was clear Draco loved his father. He doubted he'd ever understand why.

"So you are not...?"

"Oh, I am livid"

Harry frowned "You look relieved"

"Hm?" The blonde boy arched an eyebrow and quickly looked away, focusing on something else.

"It's almost as if... You thought the contents of the letter were different, didn't you?"

Draco gave him such a controlled expression he knew he had hit the spot. So Malfoy _was_ hiding something - and something big by the looks of it.

"I thought you came here to comfort me, not interrogate me"

"I did. I mean, no. I just... Wanted to check up on you. That's all"  
  
Draco made a small "aha" sound and stretched out, grabbing his bag and pulling it towards himself.   
  
"I was planning on studying, you can stay if you won't interrupt me"   
  
"I won't bother you"

Harry had experience pretending not to exist; the thought bringing a bitter taste to his mouth. He was sure Malfoy wasn't being mean, he actually seemed at ease now. Which made no sense. He remembered when, in third year, Malfoy got a scratch from Buckbeak and almost got his Father to sue the school. And now a kid had gone through his things, thoroughly humiliating him in front of other people and he was... Calm? Yes, he wasn't a thirteen year old anymore, but the Malfoy he knew would've been furious.

This was odd. Extremely so. It made him uneasy.

Harry couldn't just accuse him of _hiding_ something, because it would end badly, but he wasn't going to let it go. He had to find out what it was.

 

*  
  
The Saturday Quidditch game had ended abruptly when the Hufflepuff's seeker caught the snitch way too early. Everyone felt cheated at how short it had been, maybe an hour? Harry had no idea as to why he had gone to watch the game, since he missed flying way too much for his own sake.   
  
The real event that saturday was waiting for all of them inside the castle walls.

"Everyone, everyone move away!"

The kid was hanging from his tie, pale and barely breathing. His uniform was intact except for his left sleeve that had been removed. A gathering of students gawked at what surely would've been a dead body if the Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw had lasted longer.

The kid's arm had been carved with magic, long thick lines of blood falling to the floor.

Harry found himself pushing past the students to the front of the crowd, not to stare but to try and help the teachers and Madame Pomfrey. He was so used to people trying to murder him and things going wrong that it almost felt good to see everything fall into place again. Almost. Seeing that kid there... There was so much grief already, and someone was causing more? Harry wasn't sure about his future, but in that moment he wished to be an auror to stop anyone from hurting anybody ever again.

"Headmistress" Harry tried, but Minerva dismissed him with the rest of the kids. He had to walk away, realizing the kid needed to be taken to the infirmary and they were only making things worse.

"Harry, I am sure it was just a... Bad prank" Ginny whispered while taking his hand. They had seen the Quidditch game together, as friends. It was proving hard not to avoid her along with everyone else.

"I don't think it was a prank at all. Someone tried to murder him"

Harry sighed and let go of her hand, touching his forehead but nothing hurt. Voldemort was dead and he had to get used to it.

Voldemort being dead didn't mean hate crimes would stop happening and maybe he could do something to help.

"Did you know him? You look very... Worried"

"No, I-... I don't even know his name"

Ginny frowned while giving him a _look_ , almost like the one Hermione gave him frequently.

"He is some fifth grader. Slytherin, I think"

"Do you think he was a Death Eater?"

She seemed surprised at the question and shrugged, starting to walk with him towards their common room. "No clue" her hand touched his and... It surely was an accident? Harry felt uncomfortable so he hid his hands in his pockets. Much better.

"His left arm was all... Hurt"

There was one thing he wasn't: perceptive. Hermione was the one that noticed every little detail but since he had been spending a whole lot of time with a certain known Death Eater... Dark Marks had been in his mind much more than he would've liked.

"So you think they are targeting Death Eaters now?" Harry nodded and Ginny chuckled "Serves them right"

"Don't say that"

She gave him an icy look, stopping dead in front of Gryffindor's door "My brother is dead because of.. Of..."

Shit. Harry wasn't sure what to do or to say or how to act in those types of scenarios. No one had taught him.

"I am sorry, Gin"

She touched her own cheeks as if to clean tears that weren't there yet and nodded, pushed through their common room's door and got lost inside. She didn't wait for him, and he was thankful for that. Being near his best friend or his family was proving harder than he thought.   
They had lost a brother, a son, someone they loved because of him, because of that stupid war.

And he didn't know what to say.

Harry swallowed and sat on one of the sofas, staring at the fireplace and trying to relax. It was hard being around people, but it was harder being alone and now that Hermione and Ron were an item, he was alone a lot. It was fine, really, his friends deserved to be happy with each other and nothing would change what they felt but... Harry sighed, maybe he should just go to Ginny and start a relationship with her.   
  
Something that no one told him about living while a maniac is trying to murder you was how little time he got left to be a normal teenager. There were things he had not considered yet, or questioned or thought about.  
  
The flames in the fireplace were soothing, at least. Was it alright to just sit there in his common room and ignore what had happened? Surely the teachers could handle something like that but... what if it meant something bad was coming.   
  
What if it meant something bad was already there?  
  
"Fine" he whispered to himself, running up to his room to get his invisibility cloak. He couldn't wait for his friends, not this time. If he told them what he was going to do, they would probably consider him paranoid and that wasn't good. They needed to follow their dreams, and maybe they wanted to leave Hogwarts and didn't because of him. And that wasn't right.  
  
Besides, if he discovered something was amiss he could go to them for help.   
  
Harry moved through the corridors without being seen, and went straight for the Infirmary, if he was lucky they would still be there discussing what had happened. If not, he would have to find a way to get a teacher to talk to him about it, and that could prove difficult.   
  
"The most important thing is to reassure students" McGonagall spoke calmly. Harry could hear from a couple of meters away, the rest of the corridor was empty.   
  
"I assure you, Minerva" Slughorn was speaking quickly, moving his hands "The wand was in my possession the whole time. It was impossible for Malfoy to grab it without me knowing it"  
  
The Headmistress gave him a look that would chill anyone's bones but didn't comment on that. Harry knew Slughorn hadn't always been the most observant with the things he kept but this seemed a bit too much.   
  
"I will speak to Malfoy privately" She said, holding her hands under her stomach "It will be best if no one knows about this, we don't know if he did this terrible act, if someone did it in his name or if this is an elaborate ploy. Don't worry, Horace, young Malfoy is very capable, this could have happened to any professor"  
  
Harry frowned, McGonagall couldn't possibly think Malfoy of all people had done this. The whole attack reeked of magic and he didn't even have his wand. True, Slughorn wasn't the most capable keeper of said wand but he would've noticed if it wasn't there.   
  
He silently hoped they wouldn't involve aurors because... Well, it was hard to explain, but he didn't want Draco to end up in Azkaban.   
  
"I think it's your duty as head of Slytherin to calm your students" Minerva was a great headmistress but she was scarier than Dumbledore. Well, Dumbledore had never been scary, at least not to him. Shit, he missed that old man. He really, really missed him. He would've seen through all of this and known that Malfoy was surely innocent. If he could see it, why couldn't she? What did they have on him that was so... damning?   
  
Horace nodded at the headmistress and quickly turned to head towards the Slytherin common room, Harry decided to follow. Malfoy was surely there, and he hoped to catch him before he talked to McGonagall. He wanted to let him know he had someone on his side.   
Knowing Malfoy, if he felt accused he would probably say some really uncomfortable things and that could not go well for him.   
  
Slughorn muttered to himself the whole way to the dungeons, how he was a Slytherin it was a complete mystery to Harry.   
  
Getting inside was tricky, because he had to press as much as he could against the professor while trying not to touch him or anyone.   
It had been a while since he had sneaked inside Slytherin and... it was shocking to see the small amount of students in there. Many had died, others had been sent to who knows where and... the House didn't have much popularity at the moment. Surely new students had begged the Sorting Hat like he did years ago.   
  
  
Harry searched around the room, finding the blonde head almost immediately at the back. He was quiet and Harry could see he was trying to hide all of his feelings and reactions. Everything was calculated here.   
  
"Students, what happened today was terrible but the teachers already have a lead and will be putting a stop to it before it even escalates"   
  
"How's Elliot?" a girl asked, arms crossed and a frown on her face.   
  
"Recovering quickly, his parents are coming tonight. Please, everyone should act as if nothing had happened"  
  
That caused a lot of anger from a couple Slytherins, but they remained quiet, glaring at their Head of house. Yeah, maybe Slughorn wasn't the best to give the news or reassure people. Harry almost felt bad for him.  
  
When everyone started to disperse, Malfoy moved. It was... interesting to see him in his habitat. He looked composed and calm, but his eyes were bright with a fire he hadn't seen before. What was it about this place? Was it the mind games they surely played on each other?   
  
"Professor"  
  
Harry swallowed, standing just behind Slughorn.   
  
"Ah, yes, Draco. I wanted to speak to you" He touched Malfoy's shoulder, pulling him away from sight "The headmistress wishes to see you, don't worry, you are not in trouble"  
  
Malfoy nodded "Should I go now, Professor?" There was a subtlety in the way he spoke that Harry was sure he didn't like Slughorn.   
  
"Yes, yes, you go"  
  
Alright, it was now or never. He walked close to Malfoy to get out of Slytherin, not caring if he bumped into him or not.   


"Malfoy, it's me" He spoke without taking his cloak off. If he did and people suddenly saw him appear, it would not be good for him. It was better if his cloak remained a secret.   


"I figured" He didn't turn back, walking calmly towards the Headmistress' office.   
  
"You did? But I am wearing..."  
  
"You will find out I am very observant, Potter. What is it that you want?"  
  
"I don't think you did it"  
  
Malfoy stopped for a brief second, glancing over his shoulder and around clearly not knowing _where_ he was. "Good, because I didn't"  
  
"Do you know why they think you did it?"  
  
"Oh, so they think it was me" Malfoy smirked and shrugged very briefly "Elliot was the one who read my mother's letter. That's why"  
  
Alright, so Malfoy had motive.   
  
"Where were you during the game? I didn't see you at the field"  
  
"You were searching for me?" His tone was mocking and Harry almost wanted to snap but didn't.  
  
"Just answer me"  
  
"I was in my room trying to finish my potions' essay. I was alone"  
  
Not good, but not bad either.   
  
"So no one saw you leave Slytherin then? Oh, that's good"  
  
Malfoy stopped when they reached the huge statue and turned around, moving a hand in the air trying to get a grasp of his cloak. No one was there, so Harry decided to reveal himself, carefully tucking the cloak inside his pocket.   
  
"Worried, Potter?"  
  
"Not for you"  
  
Malfoy snickered and crossed his arms over his chest "I am going to have a chat with the headmistress, do you need anything else from me?"  
  
"You are being impossible, you know?"  
  
No answer. _Fine_. They stared at each other for a few moments, before Malfoy decided it was time to turn away. Harry tried to remind himself that everything was fine and they weren't going to take him away. McGonagall wouldn't be so harsh...   
  
Harry bit his lip and covered himself with the cloak, he was going to stay until they were done and then he was going to talk to Malfoy again. If things were like he thought they were, Draco could be in trouble. Not for harming someone, but because someone might be wanting to frame him or harm him.   
  
A little voice in the back of his head told him to go back to his room and leave it be, but he ignored it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	6. Chapter 6

Harry almost fell asleep while waiting, sitting on the floor with his invisibility cloak still on him. He had no idea what was going on in there, but it was taking a really long time.

He remembered that kid, how dead he had looked -almost a common scene in Hogwarts- and shuddered.

Harry sighed, his head pressing against the wall, who could be attacking students? And more importantly: why?

The gargoyle at the office door moved, and Harry jumped to his feet, anxious. There was no sign of the headmistress, but Malfoy was there looking paler than usual.

Harry wondered if he should make himself known or just keep quiet and leave Malfoy alone, but if the boy had already found a way to 'see' him while he was invisible, well... It was better to not piss him off.

"Malfoy"

"Don't"

"What happened?" Harry quickly tried to follow, Malfoy was walking as if the devil himself was behind them "Malfoy... Malfoy, stop for a second"

"You think it was me, don't you? Just like everyone else"

Harry revealed himself, folding his cloak while shaking his head even if it was pointless: Malfoy wasn't watching him. The chat with McGonagall had not gone well, clearly, but how bad had it been?

"What happened? I **told** you I don't think..."

"What does it matter?" Malfoy stopped suddenly, turning around to face him. Harry had to give a step back. "They are calling in the aurors, Potter. It's pointless."

Harry felt his heart sink. It wasn't fair. The aurors would surely find Draco guilty and something like this meant Azkaban. No. No. No. No.

"She can't do that"

"Stop it with your damn hero complex, please!" Malfoy was clenching his teeth, his hands fisted at his sides. By all means he looked angry, even violent, but Harry had the distinct certainty that he was just scared, terrified even. "Stop trying to save me"

"I am not trying to save you" Yeah, that was a lie but Harry wasn't going to back down now. "I just... This is unfair. Did she say you were a suspect?"

"She didn't _have_ to _say_ it, it was clear enough!"

Malfoy tried to turn around again, but Harry stopped him by grabbing his arm. "Malfoy, calm down"

"You tell me to calm down one more time and I swear I will break your nose again"

"Shut the fuck up!" He didn't mean to scream but it worked, surprisingly. Draco was giving him a murderous look, breathing quickly without moving. At least he wasn't trying to escape again. Harry slowly let go of his arm and tried to find the correct words "I don't think you did it, alright? What happened was horrible but... just blaming you is not going to change anything"  
  
There was silence between them, thick again and uncomfortable. Harry hated when it went like this. Draco swallowed, opening his fists and looking down for a moment. He was... Harry couldn't tell what he was feeling.  
  
"How?" His voice was hoarse and it broke a bit mid-word. "How do you know it wasn't me?"  
  
Harry blushed when a big pair of grey eyes focused solely on him. It had been pretty easy to realize it hadn't been Malfoy, but saying so would show how much he _knew_ about him and he was a bit embarrassed by it. Yes, he didn't know essential things about Draco, but he had observed him so much on their sixth year that he did know _some_ things.  
  
"Alright" Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair "Stealing a wand from a professor? Totally your style" Malfoy arched an eyebrow but said nothing, probably waiting for a more thorough explanation "Hexing someone that embarrassed you? Yeah, maybe. Trying to actually murder someone? I... You are not capable of that"  
  
Malfoy pursed his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. Merlin. Did Draco truly think that was a bad thing? It was a great thing.  
  
"And placing him in front of absolutely everyone in this school with a little bow that screams 'Malfoy' is not your style either. You are clever, you would have retaliated in a private, more personal way, I guess" Malfoy looked amused by that and clearly tried to suppress a smirk. "So yeah, I don't think you did that. You might've, but I don't think so, no"  
  
Malfoy sighed and ran both hands through his face, his skin turning red for a couple or seconds.  
  
"Let me help"  
  
"It's pointless. The aurors are coming whether we like it or not" He sounded so defeated... "They'll be here after winter break"  
  
Alright, that gave them little time to figure out what had happened but it might be just enough to come up with a plan. Draco was looking at him with an expression that made Harry want to fight against whatever this was. It was weird, feeling like he had a purpose again thanks to Malfoy of all people.  
  
"It's enough time."  
  
"Potter, you are nothing without your two sidekicks and I need discretion here"  
  
Harry frowned "You underestimate me"  
  
"No, I don't" His voice was but a whisper "I just know Granger is the one with the plan"  
  
Harry huffed but eventually nodded, he _was_ good at improvising and thinking fast even if careful planning was not in his skill set.  
  
"Why can't we tell my friends about this?"  
  
Draco sighed "Because... just don't, please?"  
  
Having Draco Malfoy saying 'please' and playing nice was extremely weird, and Harry had a couple of seconds of complete amazement before nodding in agreement. He was terrible at keeping secrets from his friends, but he was willing to try just to... to... Harry pursed his lips, confused at where his thoughts were going.  
  
"Should we go grab something to eat?"  
  
"What?"  
  
Harry tried not to laugh at Draco's expression, he looked so surprised and confused. Adorable, really. _Adorable like a snake, you mean, right?_ he asked himself, trying to force a smile even if he suddenly wanted to run away.  
  
"Well, it's almost time for lunch and... why not?"  
  
" _why not_ "  
  
"There is no law about us not being friends."  
  
There was a small pause in every moment from Draco's body, his eyes focused on his face as if trying to see if he was lying or mocking him. Harry frowned, why couldn't they be friends? Never in his wildest dreams they had come to this, but it was for the better. Being enemies and rivals almost cost them everything, hell, he almost killed Draco once. And Malfoy would've probably hurt him too.  
  
A small part of his brain asked if he was so sure about it, Draco had had many opportunities to hurt him, even see him killed but hadn't acted on them.  
  
"We'll just go, grab something to eat and that's it. Friends eat together sometimes, you know. Maybe it's a new concept for you but..."  
  
"And where do you say we should sit?" Agh, right.  
  
"Hufflepuff? They are too nice to say anything"  
  
Draco chuckled "No, Potter. Thank you, but... I think you should go sit with your Gryffindor friends, and I should sit where I belong and that's that. Besides, your girlfriend will surely want to be with you"  
  
What? __  
  
"Who? Ginny?"  
  
Draco grimaced "I guess that's her name" Something told Harry that the blonde knew exactly what her name was.  
  
"She's not my girlfriend. We are... friends"  
  
"Ah, yes, you convinced me"  
  
"Sod off"  
  
Draco smiled and yeah, it was nice.  
  
"So, your _not_ girlfriend wants to spend time with you and your friends and all of your admirers so... See you later?"  
  
Harry knew the real reason was that Malfoy didn't want people seeing them together in public and it hurt a little bit. He was unsure as to why he felt that way. Was it because of what people in Slytherin might say? Maybe being his friends would undermine his place as a...? Ugh, Harry's head hurt when he tried to think about all those things. He was sure Draco thought about everything before he acted, and had no idea how he did it.  
  
A _good_ thing that no one had told him about not having a family and living while a lunatic tried to murder you was how little he cared about what people thought of him. He had no one to disappoint, and no expectations to live up to, only his own.  
  
Well, that wasn't exactly true. With a bitter taste he remembered how much he had tried to please Sirius and be what he wanted of him, and how much he longed to make him proud. And Remus. And Dumbledore. And...  
  
"Potter?"  
  
Harry blinked, and nodded a bit "Yeah, see you later"  
  
He turned around knowing he was being watched and walked away. Sometimes it was easier to walk away.  
  
 *

Dinner was not tasty, or it was but he couldn't enjoy it because his mind was too caught up in everything that had happened. And how he had been turned down by a certain someone. It was just dinner, would it have been so bad to share a meal together? Yeah, people were going to look and his friends were going to fill him with questions but so what? It was just dinner and they could both say it was to ensure peace among themselves and the other students, to start something new after the war.

At least that's what Harry told himself.

"You have been acting strange" Hermione said, a hand on his wrist. Ron was sitting right next to her and they both look worried.

He looked over at them, resting his fork next to his plate because his food was pretty underwhelming and he wasn't hungry anyway. "I am just tired"

"You snap at us, or ignore us and then you act all weird and secretive..." Ron pursed his lips, he had matured a lot after the war but he was still _good_. Harry loved him for that "Mate, the other day in the dorms you went... Crazy"

Ugh. Shit.

"Just... Don't like seeing stuff like that after everything that happened" Hermione didn't ask what had happened because she clearly knew already. _That_ was probably the worst part of her two best friends dating. "And... What happened to that kid left me a bit worried, alright? It's just that"

Ron looked down to his plate to avoid Hermione's gaze, she wasn't buying it.

"Where do you go each night?"

"What?"

"You said you walk but I don't think that's it, Harry. What's going on? Are you following Malfoy again?"

"No!"

Oh. _Fuck_.

Hermione was startled for a second, before opening her eyes wide. He opened his mouth and then closed it a couple of times, because his enthusiastic 'no' had been a clear 'yes' and now he was caught with no good explanation and no plan and Malfoy was going to be so angry when he found out they knew...

Harry quickly rose from his place, leaving the table before they could catch him. Hermione hadn't been serious and now he had shot himself in the foot. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This was bad.

He turned once he left the great hall and found himself face to face with Neville. Harry wanted to cry from frustration.

"Hey! Harry, I was looking for you. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I am just... Why are you looking for me?"  
  
Neville frowned at his weirdness and Harry hoped he wouldn't mention it.  
  
He didn't.  
  
"Well, Ginny was pretty upset and I know you care about her so... I thought you would want to go talk to her"  
  
Harry felt bad. He hadn't really given much thought to Ginny, not because he didn't care about her just because he was busy with something else that felt more important. And, if he was being honest with himself, Fred's death was something he had no idea how to deal with yet. And seeing her was facing that again and.. it was better if they both worked things out on their own.  
  
Harry had no idea how people did stuff like that, talk about their feelings and fix things... All of that was unexplored territory for him, and a big part of him wished for it to stay that way.  
  
"Ah, yeah, thanks. I will talk to her" He said, with no intentions of doing so but trying to get Neville out of the way.  
  
"Cool. Oh, hey Herm"  
  
Shit.  
  
Harry turned around because not doing so would be foolish, she was already there and things were only going to get worse before they could get any better.  
  
"Hi, Neville. See you at the library tomorrow?"  
  
"Yeah, sure..." The boy stared at the two of them but shrugged, walking to the great hall.  
  
Harry wanted him to come back almost immediately.  
  
"I was just going to-..." He tried, not looking at her and not really knowing how to explain whatever had happened. Hermione gave him no time to think an answer, she hugged him tightly until he relaxed and hugged back. It was weird, having friends that knew how to handle him in almost every situation. Perhaps that's what happens after risking your life time after time for each other.  
  
She said nothing until the hug became awkward and Harry pulled back.  
  
"Come on, let's go"  
  
Harry followed quietly, not wanting to say anything too incriminating and not really ready to explain everything but maybe he didn't have to.  
Not to her.  
  
They sat side by side outside, where it was cold and snowing but they didn't care. November was almost over and the whole School seemed quiet and frozen in time. Harry wondered if that's how he would remember it after leaving for good.  
   
"I told Ron to go check on Ginny" Hermione said, keeping her voice calm. "Harry I know it might be hard, we are all struggling right now..."  
  
Harry groaned, trying not to get angry. He felt bad when stuff like that made him angry towards his friends but _sometimes_ he _just_ wanted to scream at people to leave him alone. He was _fine,_ and what wasn't fine was never going to be fine and that was... it was fine.  
"It's not that"  
  
She nodded, placing her hands on her lap and trying to find the words. "So, something is going on with Malfoy?"  
  
Harry didn't answer. Was something going on with Malfoy? They had been... talking and spending nights in the same room but that was it. Maybe thinking they were friends was too much, acquaintances was a better term for it but it felt way too cold. 'Getting to know one another' sounded better, but way more serious.  
  
Harry realized she didn't mean if they were friends or not, and swallowed.  
  
"I just..." Harry mumbled and then sighed "We've talked a bit, that's all." Well, that wasn't completely true but it was close enough. Hermione didn't have to know everything. "And what happened... Look, I know it sounds crazy and I didn't want to talk to you or Ron about it because you were going to think I was going mental"  
  
Hermione frowned for a moment "After everything that has happened, I think I would believe you if you said the sky is actually hot pink"  
  
Harry chuckled at that and gave her a silly look, before going serious again. It was hard to remain happy. "It's just... I think he is hiding something. And I think someone might want to... hurt him. Or something. I don't think he attacked that kid"  
  
She tilted her head very slightly "He is a suspect?"  
  
Oh, right, she didn't know. Harry blushed at how much he knew about the situation -and about Malfoy- but tried to disguise it as a consequence of the cold.  
  
"Y-yeah, saw him leaving McGonagall's office. I don't know if someone used his wand or something but Elliot had humiliated him a couple days before and then..."  
  
She nodded making a slow "hm" noise, her eyes on the floor. "But you don't think he did it"  
  
"No, it's too obvious. I think someone framed it to look like he did it. Or maybe someone is targeting... targeting..." What? Slytherins? Fifth year students? The boy wasn't even a death eater, actually, the cuts on his left arm almost suggested he was being attacked for _not_ being one. Hm.  
Hermione seemed to be getting to the same conclusion he was, but much faster. She was smart, Christ.  
  
"So you want to... help him" She looked back at him, her face completely unreadable.  
  
To tell the truth or to lie? Draco would 100% want him to lie for him, and say he wasn't going to help him and they were still enemies. But Harry was a terrible liar, and maybe if his friends helped they would put an end to whatever was happening with no one else getting hurt.  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Okay" She whispered, touching his arm "We will help you"  
  
Harry bit his lip "Just... Keep it between us?"  
  
She smirked "It's always been us three, really"  
  
"Four now, I guess?" Harry said but quickly chuckled because even if Malfoy was being tolerable, he would never be like his best friends.  
  
"How about we all talk about this tonight? How do you... find him at night?"  
  
Harry shook his head and looked away, he couldn't tell them that and he doubted Malfoy would agree to a meeting with Ron and Hermione. "I will ask him if he wants to... if he wants your help"  
  
She made a face, shifting uncomfortably in her seat. She had every reason to despise Malfoy, but Harry was almost sure she didn't. "Fine. But he has a better chance with us, obviously"  
  
"McGonagall wants to call in the aurors... Well, Malfoy said she already did" He whispered, revealing that he had not only seen Malfoy leaving the headmistress office but he had talked to him about it "And you know how it's going to look. And I know it's weird, but I guess I just don't want him to go to Azkaban after having testified in his trial... That was awful"  
  
It had been truly terrible, sitting there with all of those wizards giving him disapproving looks even after he had saved them all. He remembered showing up at Narcissa and Draco's trials because... well, because it wasn't fair for them to be judged like everyone else. He hadn't slept that day and his mind was foggy from the battle but people didn't care, didn't know. The only one that looked as jagged as he was had been Draco, sitting there and looking way too thin.  
  
Harry didn't like thinking about the trials, or the newspapers after the trials but sometimes he couldn't help it and his mind went back to Draco. He had been surprised to see him there.  
  
Even if he tried he couldn't remember what he said at the trial, he had been honest of course and whatever he said was enough. Harry was sure the Malfoy's had paid people off anyway, but his good word was even better.   
  
"Tonight, then" Hermione squeezed one of his hands, bringing him back "We will fix this"  
  
"Thank you"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am truly sorry, this shouldnt have taken so long. I am in med school and barely got any sleep, have tons of work to do lately and it's killing me.  
> I am sorry if this is short or something, I truly tried. Once May is done I will have more time so it will be back to normal! 
> 
> Thank you all, I love reading your comments <3


	7. Family

Draco was tense. It was weird how Harry knew him and didn't know him at the same time. Harry missed some vital information about him, favorite color? Food? Hopes? Dreams? What did he dream about? What were his nightmares about?

Harry sighed and walked towards the blonde boy; he had managed to send him a letter informing that his two friends knew and that they'd meet at night. He hoped the whole meeting wouldn't blow up in pieces.

"Told you _not to_ " Draco sneered, his eyes set over Harry's shoulder, shooting daggers to the other two that waited a few meters away. His friends knew it was better to let him handle the _situation_ first, even if they had no idea how civil him and Draco had been lately.

This was not going to go well, but it had to, or they wouldn't be able to help and Harry wasn't sure how he would take that.

"I tried"

Malfoy stared at him, but he didn't look truly angry at him. That was nice, at least.

"Give them a chance? You said it yourself, she's the one with the plan"

"You could have left Weasley out of it, then"

"You know that's impossible. Just... Be...?"

" _nice_. Cute, Potter, very cute" Draco walked past him towards the other two gryffindors, walking as if he owned the school. Christ, he seemed the same boy he had met all those years ago. Harry had to remind himself that Draco probably felt outnumbered and was faking his arrogance.

"Malfoy" Ron said, uncomfortable. Hermione was awfully quiet, a book under her arm. They both had reasons to hate him, if Harry had any he didn't remember them.

"I did not do it. So if you are going to be of use, get that th-"

"We know" Hermione was calm but firm "Is this the only place we have to talk?" they were up at the Astronomy Tower and Harry didn't feel like sharing their _other_ secret place.

"Yes" Draco answered, crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive maneuver. Perhaps he didn't want to share that either. Harry was dying to ask, but had to stop staring -was he staring?-, they weren't alone after all.

Hermione sat on the floor and opened her book, it wasn't anything he recognized and he had no idea as to why she would want a book for this... But trusting her was part of the process.

Ron sat right next to her, squaring his shoulders as if to show off he was masculine enough to defend her if he had to. It was a bit ridiculous, but nobody said anything. Not even Draco.

Draco sat down as far away from them as posible, Harry decided to close the distance forming a semi circle.

"What did you find?"

"We couldn't talk to Elliot before his parents took him home, but Pomfrey said he had no memories of the attack"

Harry nodded, that was good. Memories could be fabricated.

"Do we know if they used your wand?"

"No"

Draco's voice was calm, and barely audible. Harry wished for them to be alone so he could ask if anything was wrong.

"We need to find that out. Harry, Slughorn loves you" Draco snickered, Ron rolled his eyes "You could talk to him and check the wand"

"Or we could just wait for him to give it to me during one of my classes?"

Hermione blinked "Oh"

"And you wondered why you took so long doing all the things you did" He said, but only looking at Harry. It almost felt like Draco would only talk directly to him.

There was a small silence because Harry didn't know if just tease him in front of his friends -he didn't, feeling it would show too much- and his friends didn't know how to handle Malfoy at all.

"My plan is fine" She said, clearing her throat and making Harry's gaze fall on her again "If it was used, we will have to find... A lot of evidence to help you"

Malfoy didn't look scared, was he listening to her?

"If it hasn't then I would say it will be much easier"

"Let's assume it has been used" Malfoy whispered, looking deep in thought "What then?"

"Then we need to find the one who truly did this... Or an iron-clad alibi"

"I am not sure I have one" He was honest, so honest and oh...

Harry swallowed "Thing is the Christmas break is coming and we don't have much time. Tomorrow we will examine the wand and see how much time we truly have before the aurors arrive"

Malfoy frowned and stared at him, his arms crossed again "If my wand wasn't used then that's it. What are you on about?"

He opened his mouth to answer but it was Hermione who spoke "We are seeing this through, you don't think Harry is doing this for you, do you?"

Silence. Harry looked over from Draco to Hermione and knew that was the moment everything went to hell. Who would curse first? One of them was going to say 'mudblood' or 'death eater' and then what? Ah, shit. Harry felt the strong urge to press the palms of his hands against his eyes, he didn't.

Malfoy smiled a fake smile, he looked like a snake. "Of course not, Granger" He pressed his hands to the floor and then rose "I guess we said what we had to say. If it's okay I would very much enjoy going to bed"

And he left.

Harry was surprised by how civil that was, and his heart was beating a bit too loud. His friends just stared, distrustful looks on both their faces. Ron took his girlfriend's hand and shook his head, but Harry didn't pay attention.

He wanted to leave just as much.

Draco had touched his knee before leaving, a strong squeeze that they both knew what it meant: 'meet me later'

And Harry knew where.

*

 

A small tornado had gone through the room or Draco had had a fit, because almost everything was upside down. Yeah, hurricane Malfoy had gone through the place.

And now the huge threat was collapsed on the bed with a pillow over his head. For a split second Harry thought he was hurt or dead, but when the boy shifted in bed making room for him, he relaxed.

"What happened...?"

"Opened a window"

The room had no windows.

"There are no win-.." Draco shrugged but didn't uncover his face "What's wrong?"

No answer.

"We can fix it"

"No, we can't" his voice was hoarse and Harry wondered if he had been crying. Was he covering his face because of that?

"I am sure they didn't use your wand"

Silence.

"Malfoy" he whispered, sitting next to him and slowly touching his arm. The boy tensed up. "Please talk to me"

There was a slow pause before the boy uncovered his face, his eyes weren't red and he wasn't actively crying but he looked sad.

"Is not about that" Harry believed him "'s just..."

"Just..?"

Malfoy sighed and slowly sat up, his back against the wall "Christmas. I can't stay here with this... Whatever this is happening. And going home..."

Harry nodded, being in a house with Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius seemed like hell to him but why was Draco so tore up about it?

Malfoy had never stayed in the Castle for the holidays, just him _considering_ it was different.

"Why don't you come with me?"

Draco gave a dry laugh "I doubt the Weasleys want me over... Or the Ministry"

Ah.

"You can only be here or home?" the boy nodded "Is it that bad?"

"Mother says it's not. I don't think she is being honest" He spoke in a way that showed how much he loved his mother and even if he didn't believe her he wasn't going to get mad at her. "I will be in house arrest once we leave, might as well get used to it"

Harry touched his arm again, half expecting him to tense up and hit his hand -Draco didn't- and squeezed softly. "I'm sorry"  
  
"You said that" They stared at each other in silence until he couldn't handle it anymore and turned to stare at the wall opposite them. Harry let go of his arm too, resting his hand carelessly next to Draco's. Their fingers close enough to touch. Almost.  
  
"I am not going with the Weasleys this year"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"it's complicated"  
  
Malfoy let go a little "hm" in agreement, pulling up his legs to his chest and covering his body with a couple of blankets. Was he going to spend the night there?  
  


The wall was terribly boring and yet Harry didn't find the strength in him to look back at the other boy. Surprisingly, he wasn't uncomfortable, even with the feeling of Malfoy's gaze on him.  
  
"Do you write?"  
  
Harry turned to watch him and nodded, when did they got so close?  
  
Harry didn't remember moving closer to him or anything.  
  
"Do I...?"  
  
"Letters, Potter. The ones you send with that owl of yours"  
  
Ah.  
  
"Yeah I guess" Harry tried not to think how few people he had to send letters to. "Sometimes" He cleared his throat "Usually to Ron or Hermione"  
  
Malfoy's face was relaxed while he spoke "We could write"  
  
A warm fluttering feeling moved through Harry's chest. Was it having someone else in the world to talk to? Was it not feeling completely alone and forgotten? Or was it because it was Malfoy? He had no clue, but he felt good.  
  
"Yeah, I'd like that"  
  
"Okay" Draco closed his eyes, still half resting against the wall, his knees up to his chest. "Are you leaving?"  
  
"For Christmas? Yes, I-... I guess I have a place of my own"  
  
"I meant tonight. What place?"  
  
"Oh, uh... I don't know. I guess I should" Harry chewed on his lower lip and shrugged "My godfather left me his place. Maybe you know it? It was part of the Black family"  
  
Malfoy seemed to think about it, frowning with his eyes closed but he shook his head "Maybe. I have been in a lot of houses"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, pressing his back to the wall and pulling part of the blankets Malfoy had monopolized. The slytherin gave him a look that said 'no' but Harry didn't give in, pulling the blankets until at least their legs were covered.  
  
"You are insufferable, Potter"  
  
" _I_ am?"  
  
They stared at each other and started laughing. True, joyous laughter at the absurdity of everything.  
  
Harry couldn't remember the last time his ribs hurt that much from laughing. He received a playful shove from the blonde, but didn't respond because it might get more physical than he wanted. Harry had very much in mind that one moment when Draco had almost bled to death by his hand.  
  
He couldn't let things escalate.  
  
"I think I'm sleeping here tonight"  
  
"Won't they miss you back in slytherin?"  
  
"They will think I'm doing something... well, _something_ "  
  
Harry chuckled, what would they say if they knew Malfoy was only sleeping in a different place with him? Woah, when had he decided to spend the night there?  
  
*

  
When you looked at the bed it seemed big enough, but laying in it **with** someone else was a different story, more so if you were trying to keep some sort of distance to this other person.

Malfoy had chosen the side next to the wall, blankets all the way to his head, he looked smaller, less dangerous.

Harry decided to remain on his side, leaving the most amount of space between their bodies. Nervousness was creeping up his stomach and chest again, making him clench his teeth.

Was he already asleep? What if he had a nightmare? Or Draco had one? How would they handle something so delicate?

"You were right" Malfoy said, his back to Harry. "I am hiding something"

Harry's heart started beating faster "What is it?"

"Not what you think.. Probably. Just... maybe I'll tell you later"

Harry moved a bit closer, trying not to lose the blankets or Draco's attention "I won't judge"

The boy snorted

"Alright, I won't judge _too_ much"

"Nice try"

Harry could hear his smile and something inside of him wanted to... To... Do things. He had no clue what those things were but it felt like the sensation he got before flying.

With a simple move from his wand the room went dark, there wasn't anything lurking in the shadows, not anymore. Harry could barely see where Draco's hair was so he closed his eyes to try and get some sleep.

Having insomnia was weird, like trying to put your body to sleep in the middle of a fire. It felt unnatural. Harry found it frustrating, and would much rather talk to Malfoy or just do something instead of trying to fall asleep...  
  
Right after the war he had gone to therapy. Well, Molly Weasley had looked him straight in the eye and said _"You listen to me, young man, go see this woman and talk to her"_ and then she had hugged him and Harry simply couldn't say no. Of course going to therapy meant nothing if you didn't commit, and Harry didn't. He went for a time, defensive and angry at everyone, hearing without listening. The therapist was a good woman - and discrete too- but said things like 'abuse' and 'depression' and Harry hated her for it. If he had listened then, maybe he wouldn't be laying awake late at night next to _him_.

A pang of guilt struck him, Malfoy wasn't that bad to think of him that way.

The mattress dipped for a moment and he opened his eyes to stare at the movement, the boy had turned and was staring at him. In the dark there were no grey eyes, only a glimmer in the shadows.

Harry felt calm.

"Can't sleep?"

"Neither can you"

"No"

They were whispering even though no one else was in the room.  
  
"Sucks" Draco whispered, closing his eyes and staying very still. "Have you tried sleeping potions?"  
  
Harry frowned, but remembered the boy couldn't see him in the dark, so he spoke "No. I don't want those"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Do you take them?"  
  
"No" Harry could _hear_ his smile "But I know how to make them. I could..." He sighed "If I had my wand I could make them for you"  
  
"Thanks, but... no. I'd rather... I just... not right now"  
  
Draco said nothing, but a hand found its way to Harry's shoulder. Harry could feel the slender fingers touching the shirt's fabric, almost as if searching for something or trying to figure out where they were touching. He held his breath. Draco seemed contempt with where his hand was, and after a couple of seconds he squeezed. Was he trying to comfort him?  
  
"It's not entirely true"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What Hermione said" Harry knew he didn't have to clarify anything and, actually, he shouldn't but he wanted to "I am doing this for you... but not only for you"  
  
The hand left his shoulder and Harry wondered if he had said the wrong thing, cold creeping up his arm.  
  
"I don't care, Potter"  
  
Great.  
  
"I just think it was... a bit rude to say what she said"  
  
"Aunt Bella did a number on her, it's okay if she hates me"  
  
Harry's mouth was a little 'o' at the mention of Bellatrix Lestrange as ' _Aunt Bella'._  
  
"Did you know her?"  
  
"What do you mean? Of course I know her"  
  
"I mean _before_ everything"  
  
"Ah" Silence "No. Mother spoke about her but... that was all. Father wasn't too keen on me knowing about my mothers' sisters"  
  
Harry couldn't contain a sneer. "Andromeda ran off and Bellatrix ended up in Azkaban. Yeah, not exactly a noble family"  
  
Malfoy's eyes were on him again, and he could feel his anger even in the dark quiet room. "You have no idea what a noble family is"  
  
"Oh, and you do?"  
  
Malfoy tried to sit, but Harry pushed him down, not wanting to fight or break the... whatever it was. He knew if Draco got up, he was going to do the same and they would scream and maybe punch each other and that would be terrible.  
  
He could feel Draco's heart under his open hand.  
  
"You have _no_ idea, Potter. No _fucking_  idea of what family is!"  
  
Harry tried not to be hurt, he truly tried, but he was so he let go of Draco and saw him sit on the bed. Great.  
  
"Yes I do" His voice was shaking, and he sat not turning on the lights. He didn't want to see his face while talking about this. "I know families don't throw people out for things like marrying a muggle or whatever"  
Malfoy shook his head, arms wrapped around his legs again. What was up with him and doing _that?_  
  
"Mother loves her sisters"  
  
Oh. Of course. Harry wanted to slap himself for being so stupid. Draco wasn't talking about pure blood relations, he was just hurt at his dig at his Mother's family.  
  
"Your dad is not a fan of your mom's family?"  
  
"He would never put it like that. It's not like I don't know Mother's family. It's just her sisters and... well, there's a history of Blacks going rogue"  
  
"Yeah" Harry smiled sadly "Maybe that's where you got it from"  
  
He had no clue if that was a good thing to say, but it got him a small sad chuckle from the blonde so it was worth it.  
  
"Yeah, I guess so" his tone was sad.  
  
"I think you were brave"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What you did... I just... I guess I just think you are brave"  
  
Draco moved, but Harry wasn't exactly sure what he was doing in the dark, he couldn't see much.  
  
"I was _terrified_ , Potter"  
  
"So was I"  
  
"You didn't look like it"  
  
"Neither did you"  
  
The mattress dipped again, Malfoy laying down face up this time. "That's a lie, but thank you"  
  
Harry decided to do the same, but laid on his side, feeling Malfoy's right side touching him. "Will you have a fit if I ask more about your family?"  
  
"Depends on _you_ "  
  
"Do you know Andromeda?"  
  
"Not as much as I would like." That was surprising. "And I don't think she would like to know me... and with what happened to her daughter"  
  
Why had the war taken so much? Harry's heart broke every time he thought about Teddy growing up like him. Tears came to his eyes and he did his best not to let them fall. He had learned at a young age that crying got him nothing good, and was good at avoiding it. Most of the time, at least.  
  
"I'm sure she would" He said, voice cracking.  
  
"Harry?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
Draco's hand was searching again, moving over his arm and touching more than it should, trying to find... something. Harry held his breath when the warm soft hand touched his own.  
  
"I'm happy you are his godfather"  
  
"Shit, just... don't..." How did Draco knew about that? And why did he have to bring it up? And why was he _happy_ about it? He squeezed Malfoy's hand without even realizing it, and took a deep shaky breath that definitely showed how much he was trying not to cry. The blonde boy said nothing, but didn't let go of his hand.  
  
"Mother kept in touch with Andromeda. I know what you must think of me" He whispered, not forcing Harry to speak "But family is the most important thing, Potter, even if... if it's not..."  
  
"Yeah" Harry whispered, and forced himself to pull his hand away from the other boy's. "Yeah, okay"  
  
"Sorry if that was a bad time to say it"  
  
"It was"  
  
"Oh"  
  
Harry wasn't angry at him, but at the world. He had lost so much that he was determined not to lose anything else. And at the same time, he was determined not to allow anyone go through what he had lived, and sometimes Teddy felt like a reminder of all the pain in the world. Maybe he could do something for him. Something good. But how could he help anyone when he couldn't even sleep on his own?  
  
"How about we talk about something else?"  
  
_"Please_ "  
  
Harry laughed at that and closed his eyes, trying to relax again. He wanted to ask if he was worried about his wand and the whole incident with that kid, but it didn't seem right to do so. They were up to some really tiring weeks before the winter break.

He knew they should try and sleep as much as possible, but they didn't. Instead, they talked and laughed until the sun came up.  
     
      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating much more frequently in June, hope you liked the chapter x)


	8. No hard feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Harry opened his eyes to find a hand on his face. He wondered how that had happened, they had talked almost all night long in what Harry could only describe as a game of verbal chess. They both wanted to know more about the other giving as little information about themselves as possible. Draco was really  hermetic about his feelings and experiences and Harry simply wouldn't open his whole soul to someone that wasn't going to do the same. But it had been fun, Harry had laughed and slowly forgotten about the kid that got attacked or the idea of aurors detaining Draco for something he, surely, hadn't done.

He didn't remember falling asleep, but it clearly had happened during the dawn. Harry moved his face away from the pale and delicate hand -how could it be so soft?- and focused on the blonde boy less than a meter away from him. If anyone had asked him, Harry would have said that he imagined Draco being one of those people that take as much space as possible while sleeping. Why wouldn't he? In Harry's mind, Draco had been raised in a home filled with luxuries, with the idea that anything he wanted was his. Harry, on the other hand, had grown up thinking he had to take as little space as possible.

Oddly enough, Draco was a little ball on the bed, and didn't seem to have moved since the last talk Harry remembered. He looked defenseless, and even tiny. Harry had a weird urge to move forward. And do what? Hug him? He was being ridiculous.

Shit, how late was it? Did they have any classes? Harry was sure he didn't until after lunch, but missing breakfast altogether would put a mark on his back.

He fixed his glasses on his face after cleaning them up with one of the sheets and reached out to touch Draco's shoulder. The blonde boy opened his eyes immediately. A light sleeper? That was also unexpected.

"Is it late already?..." Draco asked, his voice hoarse

"I don't know... Just woke up. You got class?"

"Not until later, no"

"Good"

"Yeah"

They stared at each other, Draco's grey eyes more and more aware with each passing second.

"Today's the day?"

"Day of what?"

"We got a class together right? We can check my damn wand already..."

"Oh, yeah, sure"

"Harry, if it was used... It wasn't me. I swear it" His look was so convincing..

"I know it wasn't you"

"Thank you"

Draco closed his eyes, clearly tired and with no intention of getting up. He wanted to do the same, but a strong feeling of dread set on his stomach at the thought of his friends realizing he had not only slept outside of his room but missed breakfast, just like Draco. Harry was sure Ron wasn't going to realize anything, but now that Hermione knew they both spend nights together, she would put two and two together and... And what? They were doing nothing wrong. Talking was no crime. Right?

"Potter, stop _thinking_ you are giving me a headache"

Harry blinked completely shocked. Was he reading his mind or something? Of course he could deny everything, but it was pointless with Draco.

"Sorry"

The blonde boy sighed and opened his eyes "You don't have to be sorry about things"

"I am not"

Draco chuckled, and Harry had no idea what was funny but his lips smiled anyway.

"You care a lot about what people think"

"No, that's you"

Draco smirked and said nothing for a couple seconds "Oh am I?"

"Yeah" Harry was still smiling, having no idea as to why, and feeling the air thickening inside of his body. It was odd, it had never happened before.

Malfoy closed his eyes again, and this time Harry decided to do the same. They still had an hour or two to rest.  


When he finally woke up again he was alone, Draco had left and there was a small paper next to his face.

_"Had to go, tried to wake you. DM"_

Harry knew the last bit was a lie, he was a light sleeper and a simple push would make him wake up immediately. He was glad the boy had let him sleep, actually. The writing on the piece of paper was so neat and pretty Harry wondered how someone could get that good at something so silly like writing.

The winter vacations were coming quickly, and after that little note the idea of receiving letters from Draco was tempting. How much would he tell? Would he share how things went with his parents? Or would he deflect and just talk about... Anything else? Harry wanted to know much more about him, and wondered if maybe Draco would find it easier to open up via letters.

Suddenly he couldn't wait for the holidays.

 

*  


The Class was already full when he arrived, the teacher about to start his lecture. Thankfully no one turned to see him. Harry had already missed potions and Charms and if he actually cared he would have been upset, but after everything... Class wasn't as important as it had been before.

He sat quickly next to Ron and smiled to his friend that gave him a confused look, clearly wanting to know where had he been. "Later" he whispered trying to avoid that conversation, and opened his book with no idea as to what chapter they were on.

Having classes with Hufflepuff was a real pleasure, they were kind and they never tried to be better. They usually _were_ better from all the group studying they did. Harry liked that. It also made it easier to drift off into his own mind for a while. Even if his mind was the last place he wanted to be.  
  
The last few nights had been boring and lonely. He had not seen Draco since their "sleepover" and he wondered if something was wrong, if he had said something bad or what. He had tried to talk to him that day after waking up the second time and going to class, but Draco hadn't paid any attention to him. And to make things worse he hadn't been able to check his wand to know if it had been used in that horrible attack. Without that he couldn't be at peace, or "just relax".   
  
Oddly enough he was sure Malfoy hadn't been the attacker. How was he so sure? He simply was. Malfoy wasn't someone that would do something so idiotic and public, even for revenge. He was sure the boy was able to do some terrible things, but like that? So carelessly? It would give him no advantage whatsoever and doing something like that to get nothing wasn't a Slytherin thing to do.   
  
Even if that was true -and he knew it was- the other slytherins seemed to be more scared or respectful around Draco. Surely that was something that the blonde boy wanted or even hoped for. Well, Harry wanted to be mad at him for enjoying that kind of attention but how could he? If something good was to come out of a kid being hospitalized then... sure.   
  
Herbology wasn't a bad class. Harry liked the smell of the wet dirt and the green color of the leaves and just being outside for a while. If only his mind wasn't so lost in thought...   
  
"Harry. Hey, mate..."   
  
Harry blinked and looked over at Ron who was frowning and clearly worried. Why did he have to be so worried about him?   
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Just help me with this plant alright?"   
  
Harry nodded and looked at the little plant they had to change from one flowerpot to another. It was so defenseless and isolated. He almost felt bad about it.   
  
"Have you talked to him?" Ron seemed cautious and his tone made him know he meant Draco.   
  
"No, not since our group talk"  
  
"Ah" A brief pause, more dirt placed around the little green plant "Well Herm says we should check the wand. If he keeps avoiding you we could just try and steal it..."  
  
"He's not avoiding me" Harry frowned, was Draco avoiding him? They barely had a couple days left before the winter holidays and... well, he didn't want to be so cold around him.   
  
"Oh, I didn't mean..." Ron gave him a confused yet curious look before shrugging "Then ask him, and we can all go back to normal, you know?"  
Normal. What was that even? Harry nodded, even if he had no idea what to do or how to explain to his friend that things would never be normal again. He had no means of bringing back the dead, the world was changed forever and he could do nothing about it. Yeah, maybe he had stopped Voldemort for doing even worse damage, but it hadn't been enough. It would never be enough.   
  
"Sure, I'll ask him"  
  
When? How? Was Draco truly avoiding him? Harry felt something twist in his stomach and the idea of talking to the other boy made him anxious.

They kept quiet the rest of the class, Ron being the only one taking notes at all. Which really showed how bad Harry was doing, or feeling, or both. The teachers didn't care. Or maybe they did but thought they should go _easy_ on him for all he had done.   
  
Harry hated that.  
  
After finishing up with the plants and whatever the subject was, Harry dragged himself to the Great Hall to get something to eat, to his bedroom to change into something more comfortable for their free hours, and then back to the Great Hall to see if he could catch Draco there.   
  
Harry hadn't seen him much that morning, only a couple glances on the hallways and nothing more. It wasn't enough, and Harry knew that wanting to be with him much more than with his friends was a problem, but he didn't have the time to care about his problems.   
  
"Hey, can we talk?" He whispered, pulling at one of Draco's arms while catching him in a hallway. Harry had waited until Draco left the Great Hall to follow him, because surely that was what the boy wanted. Being seen together in front of everyone was more attention than... any of them wanted. Or maybe not. Harry wasn't really sure of what he wanted.   
  
Draco looked at him and briefly nodded, looking around as if to check if anyone was around, before making a small gesture to another hallway. Harry followed him, not very sure as to where they were going but not really caring that much. His stomach was turning from anxiety and his heart tried to pound his way out of his chest. Fucking hell.  
  
"Do you have...?"  
  
"My wand?" Draco's voice sounded a bit hoarse as if he had been screaming or something. Suddenly Harry realized the last time he had heard him scream had been during that horrible Fire.   
  
"Yeah. Uhm, we could... check it if you have it"  
  
Draco nodded and pulled out his wand, it was so simple he could hardly believe it was the right wand for him. Wasn't Draco a loud and attention-seeking brat? Harry almost wished he was the Draco he had painted in his mind so long ago, and not this really interesting young man.   
  
"Great" Harry took his own wand, and gave him a look. What if the wand had been used? Would that make things worse between them? Would Draco not believe Harry trusted him? Would they spend nights together again?   
  
Harry wanted to say how much he liked spending time with him, and how little he wanted that to change. He wanted to say he believed Draco hadn't attacked anyone.  
  
"I believe you" Harry said, looking at him still not casting the spell.  
  
"Yeah, you said that. Could you please check this?"  
  
Harry blinked and nodded, looking down at the brown and black wand that the boy was holding. How come he had it after class? Maybe Slughorn had forgotten to ask it back. It wouldn't be weird, that professor was extremely clueless sometimes.   
  
"Wait, hold it still" Harry said, reaching out and placing his hand over Draco's. The touch was soft again, and warm and Harry liked it and it made him pull away immediately.   
  
He could feel Draco's eyes on him, so he kept looking down to the wand while trying to aim it right. This spell was knew to him, Hermione had explained how to do it but still...   
    
A scream pierced the air around them, making both of them look to the end of the hallway. They could see students running, some of them with pale faces. Harry felt something tug at his muscles and his whole body lounged forward, running before his brain could send the signal. Draco was following right behind.   
  
The scene was as gruesome as before, and the smell of fresh blood intoxicated the whole air around it. Harry tried not to remember the war and the piles of bodies...   
  
Madame Pomfrey was already there, touching the neck of a young boy while speaking to another teacher. Harry didn't see who it was, a crowd of students blocking his view.   
  
A soft squeeze on his arm, Draco's hand. He knew it was his as well as he could feel his presence next to his body. The attacker wasn't Draco. It wasn't and now he had proof. They had just been together, he had been _looking at_ his wand so there was no way it had been him or his wand.  
  
That thought alone should have been enough to take a weight of his shoulders, but it didn't. There was still a pale, barely alive boy on the floor and he had no idea who was doing this or why. Why now? Why them?   
  
Harry moved slowly back when the crowd started to disperse to let the teachers take the boy to the infirmary. The Slytherin's hand was still softly on his arm. It felt cold when he pulled away.  
  
Draco's face was pale and tense. Anyone else probably wouldn't have been able to see something was wrong, but Harry had spent too many days of his life following and studying him to know something was terribly wrong.   
  
"Malfoy?" He asked, his voice but a whisper. The other boy heard him but didn't look at him. "Did you know him?"  
  
Draco started walking away, some students still lingering in the hallway. Years back something like this would have created screams and loud chatter, right now? Silence. The whole place was dead silent because they knew the horror of war. Harry wanted to punch a wall.   
  
"Who was he?" No answer "Who was he to you? Malfoy!" He grabbed at his arm tightly, making the other boy turn around and stare at him. Draco had not liked that.   
  
"If you touch me again, Potter, I will cut off your arm"  
  
Harry let go of him as if he burned, feeling hurt at his venom. It was weird, how a couple years ago he would have laughed or said something equally hurtful.   
  
"Who was he?" Harry whispered "A friend of yours?"  
  
" _No_. And what's it to you?"  
  
"I just want to know... If this is targeted to you..."   
  
Draco looked away, looking slightly less angry. "I knew his parents. They were... _close_ to mine"  
  
Death eaters then. Harry tried to _not_ make a face or say something against his father, he wanted to. He really wanted to. He hated the lot of them, all of those murderers and fascists.   
  
Even if Draco wasn't like them, the idea of seeing the mark on his arm was something he... wasn't ready for.   
  
"Was he...?"  
  
"Him? No. He wasn't. I don't think he even wanted to" Draco crossed his arms "Do you think that's why? Because they both weren't death eaters and they knew my family? Do you think someone wants to make me look bad?"  
  
"Yes" Harry didn't even think about it. Maybe he should've. "Did he try to humiliate you or something like Elliot did?"  
  
Draco seemed to hesitate for a second " _No_ "  
  
"...but?"  
  
"It's complicated, Potter"  
  
"Try me"  
  
Draco shook his head. Harry tried not to get mad at how _stubborn_ he was.   
  
"Look, Potter, I will say this very slowly so you understand..." And there he was again, trying to be a bloody snake. Harry gritted his teeth and gave a step forward, they were both tense and ready to jump at the first chance they got. It was dangerous. Really dangerous. " _take your fucking hero complex somewhere else_ "   
  
Harry fisted his hands, breathing quicker. They had physically fought before and it had never ended well. He didn't want to turn Draco's skin black and blue but he was so mad... and he knew Malfoy was as mad as he was.   
  
"It's not that, you stupid snake!"   
  
Draco laughed coldly "That's your comeback? War really did a number on you"  
  
That was enough. Harry grabbed at his shirt, raising a fisted hand ready to punch him right in his smug face. Malfoy kept his eyes locked in his not even flinching at his violence and that alone made Harry feel... weird. Like a _bully_ , like a horrible human being.   
  
He let go of his shirt, moving back a couple steps and trying to calm himself.   
  
"Well? _Hit_ me!"   
  
"I am not going to... _what?_ "   
  
Draco groaned, clearly frustrated at not getting what he wanted. And what he wanted was to be... punched. What? Harry blinked trying to understand what had happened there.   
  
"What is wrong with you?"   
  
"With me?" Draco pressed his back to the hallway wall, closing his eyes. His perfect hair a bit messy against the bricks. "Nothing is wrong with me"   
  
And in that moment Harry knew he had to be the bigger man and let go of his anger for a moment, to try and understand what had happened.  
  
"Look... I just asked to help you because I don't want you to go to Azkaban" Draco opened his eyes slightly, looking at him as tired as they both felt "I... I don't want you to go anywhere, actually"   
  
Malfoy swallowed and shook his head slightly "... I-... It truly is hard to explain, alright?"   
  
"Alright"   
  
A pause. Neither of them moved. Harry was sure he didn't even breathe for a moment.   
  
Finally Malfoy moved away from the wall, and gave him a look "Maybe I will tell you everything after the holidays"    
__  
Everything.  
  
"Alright"   
  
"See you later, Potter"   
  
Harry stood there watching him walk away.   
  
"Wait! Malfoy, I didn't mean..."   
  
"No hard feelings" He said raising a hand  but not stopping nor turning around.   
  
Harry wanted to say how sorry he was for reacting like that, and how much he wanted to know what was going on. He also wanted to know if Draco had been avoiding him, if everything was good between them.  
He chewed on his lower lip, knowing he was going to get no answers that night. At least not the ones he wanted.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, it turns out the last two years of College are really really hard and they really want *a lot* of your time. I have been writing this chapter and a bit ahead in my free time. I wanted to update much sooner, but things got busy!
> 
> I will try to update more frequently, I promise. Hope you enjoyed the chapter x) I am actually excited for what is to come


	9. Letters sent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

Chapter: Letters sent.  
  
The paper in front of him was only that: paper, but Harry kept looking at it as if it had all the answers of the Universe. He wondered how long it had took to write and how long it had traveled to find him.  
The holidays had been rushed because of the last attack, and Harry had had no chance to go see Draco. He had tried, even while they were getting ready to leave but the boy seemed to have left during the night. The teachers had probably allowed him to use a fireplace directly to his home, or maybe aurors had come to take him. Harry really wanted to know.  
He had not expected a letter so soon, actually, he had expected no letters. From anyone. So many years living completely forgotten had left him with the idea that no one actually cared. Well, some people cared, he supposed.

_"Potter:  
I know it's only been two days since the start of the holidays but Home Arrest is not as glamorous or fun as you might think. We are at our home in France (I know what you are thinking, but any respectable family like mine has multiple houses around the world) which is nice but after a while the walls start to close up on you._

_Mother spends most of her day out in her garden tending her Roses. Can you believe she has 20 variants of the same flower? Neither could I._

_Oh, the ministry will read my letters and yours and anything that enters or leaves our residence. Be thoughtful._

_The house library is not exactly full or up to date and I am afraid I won't be able to find anything to read before I die of boredom. How are you doing? Have you gone to the Weasleys? Or are you at your Godfather's? I hope you are not alone._

_I would like to visit (if you wanted me to) but again: house arrest. I know it's better than Azkaban but having aurors coming in and out almost every day and being tracked and monitored is not something I enjoy. As you might have noticed I take good care covering my mark at school, I've tried not doing so at home but if an auror sees it things get a bit... Tense. Sometimes I feel like I should just cut it off. I am sure you would agree. It would be much easier, wouldn't be? If we could just cut out the rotten and the past._

_I am not trying to be a downer so close to Christmas but I think I have not been okay in a while. You surely think I deserve it, and maybe I do. I know I have inflicted pain in others. I know I started a series of events that led to the death of many, some of them dear to you. I wish I could go back and change it. No one should cause that much hurt for their beliefs._

_What do you think I should read? Do you read at all? I am not trying to be mean, but I think I have never seen you with a book more than two minutes. If yes I will try and send you something good._

_I know you can't come here for Christmas. My Father would probably.. Not be happy. But please don't be alone. I know you might want to be alone as much as me, but that's not good. Have you ever thought you wanted something and later realized you were wrong and said thing only made you miserable?_

_It's late, I guess that's why I am making all those questions._

_Hope you'll write soon,_

_DM_

_PS: My owl is a bit... Particular. Be careful or you will get a finger chopped off._ "

Harry read the letter again. And again. He could see the places where Draco had pressed the ink harder, or the places where his perfect traces looked insecure. He had shared so much in a small letter... Even the things he didn't say were revealing.

Draco hadn't mentioned his father or how he was doing, which was a clear indicator that he didn't want to share how bad he was.

He was protecting him. Harry thought that Lucius Malfoy was the last human on earth that deserved protecting but what did he know about being a son? Nothing. He knew nothing... Except that his father had not been a fascist.

Harry placed the letter on the table and placed a piece of paper next to it to start writing him back. For some odd reason his chest felt heavy and his heart kept pounding away at his ribs.

" _Dear D-_ " no. No.

_"Malfoy,_

_I am sure you won't die in a couple weeks, and I am sure your house has enough rooms and distractions for you. You can be a bit dramatic sometimes, you know?_

_I am at my godfather's, well, it's_ my _house now. I still don't know what to do with it. I could sell it, but it feels wrong. Being here is not easy, I am sure you understand. I am glad you wrote already._ _Please send your mother my regards, I think I would be dead if it weren't for her. Has she told you about that? I wasn't expecting it. I am thankful even if I know she did it for you._

_I can imagine having aurors around is not pleasant at the moment, but it's for your safety too. Don't cut your arm off, I am afraid you would be even worse at Quidditch"_ Harry tried to deflect that subject, still unsure as to how he would take seeing the mark on his body. Everything was too raw.

_"I followed your advice and went to see Ron and Hermione. We met at a neutral place, because I still... It's complicated going to Ron's. I would like to explain it, but maybe not right now. I... I am sorry, I am sure I sound cryptic but it's just my baggage._  
  
_I never had any books of my own. Well, do school books count? I guess I enjoy reading. Send me something and I'll see if I'm able to send you something back. I still haven't cleaned or organized most of the rooms here. I guess I'll do that over the holidays. Or maybe during the summer. I still don't know. Maybe you could help me then._  
  
_HP"_  
  
"Potter:

_Thank you for writing back so soon. I imagine it must've been difficult to find the time after seeing your friends. I know you will think I am not being truthful but I hope they are doing good._

_As you said I found a couple of things to do to entertain myself. What I truly wanted to do was brew some potions, but they would rather cut my fingers off than give me ingredients and a cauldron. I have heard them whispering about the attacks at Hogwarts. Apparently the victims are recovering slowly and still unconscious, but they won't die._

_They think it was my fault. Luckily I was with you during the last one, so I guess things won't get too bad._

_I have selected a book for you and It's attached to the letter, you only have to enlarge it. I hope you'll like it, it's a classic. I assumed you don't know about wizard authors so that's a good start._

_As for what you said about your home, I would love to help you fix it up. I don't know if I will be able to, but I would like to. Besides I am afraid you would end up painting it all red and gold and that would be atrocious._

_Mother has gone from gardening to baking and it's much worse. I think she has no idea what to do, or how to live now. If you think about it, her side of the family is decimated. I am not saying this to get your pity, I just assume you would ask about it anyway._

_Is it snowing there already? I think we will have no snow here. I actually hate the cold, you should see how pale my skin gets. It's unbearable without some heating._

_Why am I talking to you about the weather? By all means we should not be talking, or writing. We should hate each other. I used to hate you. Sometimes I wonder if I still do. I don't. Do you hate me? And don't be 'nice', say what you think like you always did._

_I guess I ended in a sour note. Tell me if you start the book or not._

_DM"_  
  


_"Malfoy,_

_You are really blunt sometimes. Truth is I asked myself that for a long time. I don't think I ever hated you. I was angry at what you represented and I used to compare you with my cousin. Have I ever told you about him? I guess it's not easy to explain how my 'family' was.  So, no, I don't hate you even if you are a prick._

_So, going back to the lighter topics... Your mother doesn't seem like a witch that enjoys gardening or baking so I can imagine how that's going. Has she found something else to focus on?_

_I cleaned the main bedroom, and the kitchen. You know: the essentials. It's not nearly enough but at least I am not eating dust and cobwebs all the time._

_Have you found something to do? Or a good book? I started the one you sent me... I.. It's interesting. But muggles are not like that. I know you don't really know how they are, just... Don't believe everything you read from other mages that have no idea about muggles... Okay?_

_I know this is a dangerous topic but I just... I guess I want to educate you. I know you have your opinions but I want you to... See the other side, I guess. Or at least have an educated opinion._

_I know they are reading our letters so you can't be exactly honest about a lot of things. I can't say some either, but... I hope we get to talk about these things in person without cursing each other._

_It started snowing here yesterday. I love the snow, but I guess the cold never bothered me much._  
  
Write soon,  
Harry"  
  
_"Potter,  
I think that if you used to compare me with your cousin then I have the right no know about him. I guess he wasn't a really nice guy. How about I tell you something about a family member of your choosing, and you share something about yours. Let me start with something that surely is no surprise to you: Father likes rules, and has lots of them._

_Thank you for your candor, I am... Relieved you don't hate me. It would have made everything really awkward._

_You know the best part of having aurors around? The expression of disgust and amazement they give me every time you write back. I guess they are waiting for you to get bored or mad, or both. Either way, its amusing._

_Did you like the book? I didn't realize the portrayal of muggles was inadequate. I will be more thoughtful in the future. I am currently on my third book but my eyes are a bit tired. Do you think I'll need glasses? I think they would not go with my face... Thank Merlin for healing magic._

_I don't know when this letter will make its way to you so... Happy Christmas. I hope you get many presents. There will be none this year for us._

_It's fine._

_Take care,_

_DM"_

Harry had learned a lot from their letters. For starters he had discovered Draco was a huge nerd. Of course he would never say this to his face but... Wow. Not only was he smart, but he also enjoyed _reading_ and brewing potions out of school. No surprise he was so annoyed at Hermione's grades. Hell, she would probably be pissed if he were the best one in class.

_"Malfoy,  
It's a bit funny how you always try to get away with what you want. Alright. I will play your little game. My cousin used to bully me, call me names, he even got physical more than once. It wasn't just... It was bad. I forgave him, though. He was a kid doing what he saw grownups do. That's all. Not so glamorous huh? _

_And Malfoy, really? Everyone knows your father is uptight. (I am trying not to use harsher words). Care to share something I don't know about him? Don't worry, I know enough about his Death Eater agenda so don't stress about it._

_It's Christmas. I never liked it. Well, I liked it a little when I met the Weasleys. But... It's just that. Another day. I bought no presents but Molly sent me a lovely sweater. I am sure you'd think it's atrocious, but I love it._

_I know you said there would be no presents for you... Well, think again. (Unless the aurors took the package I sent you there should be something for you with this letter)_

_I wanted to be alone during Christmas' eve but I was... Kind of forced to go to dinner with the Weasleys. It was nice. There's still people missing and... Sorry, it's hard to put in words._

_Had a terrible, uncomfortable chat with Ginny. I just... Don't know what I want with her. We were supposed to be sweethearts, I know I kissed her during the Battle when I thought I was going to die. But I thought I was going to die, you know? I guess I... I don't know. Right now love is the last thing on my mind._

_Merlin, I shouldn't get so personal if the ministry is reading the letters in search of some malicious plot or something but you are easy to talk to. I know it makes no sense. And you should be the hardest to talk to. But... I think you feel the same._

_Thank you for writing so soon. Hope your Christmas is nice._

_Harry_

_PS: Is your mom still baking or... What's her new hobby? "_

_"Potter,  
Don't worry, the ministry is only worried on my words. And even if they read all of your letters, it's illegal to speak about it with anyone else. I assume you wish to become an auror so it might be awkward knowing they read them. But most aurors here are old, so they'll probably drop dead before you start working._

_I...think I understand how your childhood went. It's not the idea I had of you. I am sorry I made assumptions. Let's talk about it when we are back, yes?_

_About my father... He is a good painter. I know that sounds strange, and he would never admit it because that sort of activities are not something a dignified man should enjoy but... He is really good at it. I used to sneak into his office and see the paintings. Most were about Mother. Once I dropped some paint over one of his sketches. He wasn't pleased. He locked the door with magic after that._

_Can you share something about your godfather? If not I understand. Sometimes I try to picture Mother and her whole family and it's blurry._

_I have been trying to avoid this but... Thank you. The present you sent me is incredible. And it looks expensive, are you sure you can afford this? It goes beautifully with my robes. Who would have thought? A Malfoy saying thank you to a Potter in a non sarcastic way._

_So love is not on your mind? If I didn't know you I would've believed you and the Weasley girl were ready for marriage. You have time to decide, Potter, that's how it works. If it makes you feel any better Mother is trying to pressure me into asking Astoria's hand. Do you know her? The younger Greengrass. We know her parents and apparently they are on our side and on good terms with the ministry._

_Such rubbish. I don't wish to marry who they point me to. Is it selfish?_

_Oh, Mother stopped baking and gardening and now her entertainment is pestering me: asking about who I like, who I talk to, how's the family status among the other 'kids'. It's driving me insane._

_Write soon,_

_DM"_

Harry read this letter on his bed - a double sized one because now that he could, why not? - with some bread crumbs on his chest from his breakfast. Draco's owl was eating avidly the seeds he left for her, clearly enjoying being inside. Hedgwig was not happy to have competition inside her own home so she'd try to bite his ear after the other owl had left. It was adorable.

He wanted to send her, but Hedgwig's wing would never fully recover from that dreadful night. "Hey, girl, don't be mad" He smiled when the white owl tried to tear a piece of the letter with her beak, demanding more seeds "Alright, here, special for you"

Harry wanted to keep reading and reading the letter, trying to find all those little details... But he also wanted to answer, quickly. They only had a few more long days - and New Years- before coming back...

_"Malfoy,_

_Your father as an artist is something I never imagined. I guess I pictured him working on an office all day, and... Well, I never imagined much good things about him. And hearing he painted your mom it even makes him sound as a hopeless romantic. Which is more weird._

_Why do you want to know about Sirius? Is it because he was a Black? What did your mother think about him when everyone thought he betrayed my parents? Was she pleased? I am sure she was._

_I didn't know him very well. I wanted to make him proud and go live with him. Now I only have his old house. He loved my dad, and Lupin. Sorry, I can't speak more about this. Not now. Maybe someday._

_I am glad you liked it. I didn't know if it was... Too obvious. But I saw it and thought of you, for obvious reasons. And yes, Malfoy, I can afford it. Money is the one thing I got from my parents._

_About the love thing... I think I have never been in love. I have fancied girls before and it never went well. But love? I see pictures of my parents and I see love, you know? But me? Haven't felt it. Have you? I am sure you have a huge past with Pansy Parkinson that'd make anyone blush or something._

_Don't marry someone your parents choose. That's idiotic and you deserve better. There is no good reason in this day and age to have an arranged marriage. Besides, I think I saw the Grengrass girl snogging a bloke on Castle Grounds... Or maybe it was the older one?_

_HP"_

_"Potter,_

_Mother wasn't glad. Treason is something old families hate, loyalty is the most important thing for us. You can imagine why your godfather turning his back to his family was such a big deal for everyone. I remember mother saying something like 'at least he was true to someone'. I don't think she was pleased either with the idea of his cousin betraying a couple with a newborn baby._

_I know you think Mother is evil by association, I... I don't know what to say to that. She is my mother. I know she has made mistakes, but she also saved your life. And I think, if she had met you as a baby, she would have wept for what happened to you._

_We are not all cold, you know? When we care, we care._

_Your present was perfect, don't worry._

_Astoria has a thing for a Ravenclaw, we have talked about it. She knows I am supposed to ask her hand, but she is not too pleased about it. Of course she could say no to me, but we both know it's more complicated than that. I just hope I won't have to propose._

_And no, Potter, I don't have a story with Pansy. We kissed twice when we were younger and it was gross. She is like a sister to me. Same like Granger is to you._

_You are going to find love, Potter. Haven't you seen the papers? Everyone wants you!_

_Sorry, that was probably insensitive of me, wasn't it?_

_Happy (early) new years,_

_DM"_  
  


Harry read his letter while looking at the fireworks through his window, alone at Grimmauld. Ron had tried to convince him to spend the night with him and his family but he... simply couldn't. He closed his eyes while holding the piece of paper.  
"Happy new years, Draco" He whispered. __  
  


__  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another chapter tomorrow, but it will be a short one. I thought about putting both up tonight but I wont have the time to check the spelling and stuff.  
> You will see why it'll be short when you read it, but it has to be a separate chapter because structure ;) Hope you enjoyed!  
> I was/am really excited about this chapter


	10. Unsent Letter

His fingers kept the stained parchment open over the table. The ink was shaky and a bit unclear.   
  
_"Dear Harry,_

_I wish I could tell you the truth. Or at least my truth. But I can't. So you won't read this. I don't even know why I am writing this stupid letter I'll surely burn once I am done. Why? To torture myself even more? I just sent you a letter (a watered down, controlled version of my thoughts and feelings) and felt like I needed to write somewhere all those details I have left out. All those things I simply cannot say to you. Not to you or anyone._

_Where to begin?_

_Remember that story I told you about my father and his paintings? That's all real, but after I spilled some paint over one of his sketches he not only locked the door to his office; he locked my bedroom with me in it. I was locked inside for a whole day until Mother came back. I remember crying until my eyes got all puffy and red._

_Mother washed my face and told me to compose myself. I heard them fighting all night about it. I wanted to disappear, to die or worse. I had no idea what I was wishing for, really, but I knew I wanted everything to stop. I was six._

_And I can't tell you. How could I? Last thing I want is your pity or your anger towards my parents. I still love them. We have a complicated relationship, Harry, but who doesn't? You would understand if your parents were alive. See? I could never write so honestly to you, because it would hurt you too and I can't handle seeing you hurt._

_You know? I wanted so desperately to be your friend, and then I wanted so badly for you to regret not being my friend... And now that we are (yes, we are Harry, even if we haven't come to terms with it) I... Almost wish I didn't know what it feels like. You see, I was (am) to marry Astoria or some other girl, and have a family and fulfill my role. I should maintain my family's ideals and ambitions. And I thought I was going to do it. I thought it was in my blood and happiness was just for fools. For idiots._

_And now here I am, knowing how... Happy being around you makes me. Maybe you don't see why I can't do all those things now. And maybe I should explain but I can't even write it down._

_How to write this? I have never told anyone. Not even my Mother, not even Pansy. No one. Harry, I haven't said the words out loud. Can you believe there is something that makes me feel more ashamed than saying "I was a death eater"? Well, there is._

_I keep reminding myself I will burn this letter. I keep closing my eyes... Fine, here it is: I like men. Yes, in that way. You are so daft I picture you not getting it. But I won't write it in any other way because I can't._

_Would you be disgusted? How are muggles about this? Are they better than pure blood families?_

_You said love is not on your mind. And yes, maybe love is a big word. But I have felt something. Haven't you? All those nights... You didn't have to come see me, but you did. We shared... Something. We still do._

_If you only knew the effect you have on me... It's ridiculous. And we only have this year left. Once we are done you will go your way and I will go mine. Our lives do not cross at any point. We will, surely, go back to being strangers. Maybe you will see me and think about our rivalry and how odd it was to have a year of peace. And maybe I will look at you and think_ [ink splatters, unreadable]

_No, I will look at you and know I lost something. I will feel the hole inside my chest until something else fills it. Yes, Harry, yes, I am being dramatic. Merlin, I can hear you in my mind._

_I think... I wish to know how your kiss feels like._

_Remember what I told you about wishing for something that will later make you miserable? Well there you go._

_Would you believe I am shaking? Scared. Afraid someone will read this, or read my mind or something. That my world will implode. So stupid, a fucking coward's what I am. But I can't betray my family. Not like this . Mother lost everyone, she can't lose me. I... I guess I'll be a coward forever. But at least a loyal one._

_I don't even know what else to say before I have a break down in my own room. I wish to see you. And talk to you. Even if we are only friends. Even if that's all we are._

_I'll get over this. I... I will make myself get over it. I promise, Harry._

_Love,_

_Draco"_  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you this was going to be a short one. But it needed to be because... structure. At least the structure I have in my head for this haha
> 
> x)


	11. Chapter 11

Harry didn't linger at the train station for long, he never did. Why would he? No one to say goodbye to. No parents to hug before going back, no siblings. The place was packed with families saying goodbye and kissing and hugging and it made the holes in his chest a little bit bigger.

It was fine when he didn't focus on it, though.

"Mate, are you coming?"

Harry nodded and followed his friends into the train, they were adults now even if their bodies were still those of teenage boys. People were still talking loudly on the train, running through the hallways trying to find a place to sit and it was refreshing. Most of those students were younger, first or second year ones but at least someone had some light in their lives.   
  
"Harry?" Ron asked after opening an empty compartment.   
  
"Yeah, just a minute..." Harry knew his friend was staring at him with a confused look but that wasn't going to stop him. Not now that he had seen who he wanted to see.   
  
It's not like Harry had been _searching_ the room for him or anything, but that blonde almost white-ish hair was impossible to ignore. And after all those letters the least thing he could do was go say hi. Especially before they reached the castle.  
  
"Hey"  
  
Draco looked up, a bit surprised and startled and it truly made Harry's morning. The boy was impeccable from head to toes, dressed all in black as usual, his green and silver tie the only strong detail. Well, not the only one.   
  
Harry smiled seeing the Christmas' gift he had sent Draco on his robes. It was a simple but expensive dragon shaped silver brooch. He had seen it and immediately thought of Draco -for obvious reasons- and... well, it was elegant and expensive enough for him.  
  
"Hey, Potter. Need anything?"   
Harry nodded "Yeah, we should talk before we get to Hogwarts"  
  
"About?"  
  
"Don't be difficult and come with me?"  
  
Draco frowned and looked behind him "With you and your friends?"  
"Just for a moment, alright? Or are you sitting with anyone else?" There was a small pause, tense. Harry felt like he had said something he shouldn't have. Was Draco truly sitting alone? Did he not have _any_ friends anymore?  
  
"Fine, just for a moment"  
  
Harry nodded, walking with him back to the train compartment where his friends were sitting. Weirder things had happened before right? Malfoy sitting with them for the rest of the way wasn't completely mental... Or so he hoped.   
  
"Granger. Weasley" Draco said before sitting next to Granger, leaving a space for Harry in front of him and next to Ron. Harry wondered if he didn't really mind Hermione anymore, or if he truly hated Ron more than her. Or maybe it meant nothing.  
  
"Alright, care to tell him what you told me?"  
  
Hermione gave him a small smile "Well, yes. We found out that Elliot is back. Apparently he made a full recovery and his parents decided he should return to school"  
  
"I was thinking we should go talk to him"  
  
Draco frowned and looked at him as if he had gone insane in those seconds. "Talk to him? About what?  Oh, how you doing? you got cursed and almost killed, probably because of me"  
  
"He wouldn't be the first" Ron mumbled and everyone went completely silent.   
  
After all those nights talking and those letters Harry could tell exactly how uncomfortable Draco was now, almost looking as if he wanted to jump out of his skin.  
  
"Ron"  
  
"What? It's true"  
  
Ron was clearly having a bad day, and he couldn't blame him. Not after all he had lost. After what everyone had lost. Harry knew exactly what loss was, it was all he knew. Draco got up, looking like a statue: cold and unreachable.   
  
"Malfoy, wait" Harry got up too, following him out of the compartment even though it was clear the other boy wanted nothing to do with him.   
  
They could clearly hear the argument starting between Hermione and Ron behind them, and even though Harry didn't want to hear, he knew every single word would do incredible damage in the other boy. How he knew that? He wasn't exactly sure. He wasn't exactly sure how he had come to care about him either, but it had happened and now they were friends and things were shit but... but he had to try to make it all good. Didn't he? What was the point of being alive otherwise?   
_  
You can't say those things, Ron!  
  
Why not? He's a bloody death eater, 'mione. He is always going to be one like his whole fucking family!  
  
He changed!  
  
Why should I care?! You know who can't change or grow old, Hermione?! My brother! _ Hermione must have used a silencing charm because he couldn't hear anything after that.   
_  
_ Harry tried to push pass his own pain at those words but felt a strong pang of guilt. He should go back to his best friend to try and comfort him but talking about Fred wasn't easy. Not yet. How could he go make it better when he felt so guilty?  
  
"He didn't... mean to say that" Harry tried, slowly moving closer to Draco who wasn't facing him.   
  
"Yes he did" His voice was low and almost broken. Harry had a flash of sixteen year old Draco, crying in a bathroom without knowing he would be bleeding out a few moments later... "And he is right"  
  
"Stop that, would you? It's not your fault. Fred's death is not..."  
  
Draco looked at him, with an expression he hadn't seen before. It was sadness, but something else. Something Harry couldn't put his finger on.   
  
"Let's go talk to Elliot, Potter. And then we can go our own ways"  
  
Harry looked at his pale hands, they were shaking but Draco was very good at keeping it hidden by touching his robes or closing a fist and opening the other one.   
  
"Hermione says he doesn't remember who attacked him"  
  
"I figured"   
  
"You... did?"  
  
"Don't you think aurors are dying to throw me to Azkaban, Potter? Are you stupid?"  
  
"Alright, enough!" Harry stopped and grabbed him by the arm, making him half-turn to look at him. "I know it's hard, but... no one blames you"  
  
"Yeah, Potter, yeah they do"  
  
Yeah, they did. Why did he say they didn't? Harry closed his mouth and frowned. "I don't"  
  
Draco was looking at him with his piercing grey eyes, not really moving and not really saying anything. It was unnerving, it made something warm creep up Harry's neck and ears.   
  
"Alright... Maybe we can talk about this... You know, later?"  
  
Draco's expression softened "Yes"  
  
"Good. Let's go, now. I want to ask him to help us"  
  
"That's a mistake"  
  
"No, it's not. He could still be a potential victim and... I don't know what his parents were thinking sending him back" Draco shrugged, parents was something they hadn't discussed at all. Hell, the only thing they had talked was how Draco's mum was going insane with the whole house arrest and no magic thing. "If he works with us, maybe we could protect him too"  
  
"You are such an auror, Potter"  
  
"...I will take that as a compliment"  
  
"It wa-"  
  
"No. Don't"   
  
Draco smiled and it made Harry breathe again.   
  
"Do you even know where he is sitting?"  
  
Harry nodded. "Yeah, Ron asked around"  
  
"Oh, Merlin"  
  
"We are doing this" Harry stated, knocking softly on the compartment's door. They both waited for what seemed too long, and Malfoy was about to turn around and leave when the sliding door opened and a nice looking boy stared at them.   
  
It was shocking how different someone looked when pale and bleeding on a cold floor. Harry could barely recognize Elliot like that kid that had been attacked almost a month ago.   
  
"Elliot? I'm Harry"  
  
"Yes, I know who you are" The boy said, looking at both of them with a small frown. He looked a bit younger than them, but Harry wasn't exactly sure of his age. Surely Draco knew, they were in the same house and they had had a small... incident.   
  
"We wanted to talk to you"  
  
Elliot moved away from the door to let them in "Fine, but I'm not alone"   
Inside the compartment was another boy with his feet up in the seat and a book open on his lap. He was a hufflepuff and Harry was sure he hadn't seen him before.   
  
"Oh, hello"  
  
"Hi" The kid looked at Elliot and they shared a look "Should I go?"  
  
"No" Elliot sat in front of him and looked at the two intruders "He's Noah, we are friends. And you can say whatever you want to say in front of him"  
  
Draco sighed crossing his arms. This was the second time in less than twenty minutes that someone was defensive towards him. Harry sat next to Noah's feet trying not to take too much space or bother them.   
  
"We know someone hurt you"  
  
Elliot frowned and then nodded "Yes, _someone_ did"  
  
"It wasn't me" Malfoy was staring at Elliot almost as if he wanted to strangle him. Christ. It was going to be hard.   
  
"Elliot, we believe Malfoy didn't do this but someone is trying to frame him for it"  
  
"Oh I know it wasn't him" Elliot said, a bit smugly.   
  
"You... know? Do you remember anything?"  
  
He chuckled "No, but are you trying to make me believe _him_ could do something like this? A fucking f-"  
  
"Shut up!" Draco moved forward, frowning and with his arms still crossed. Harry knew that if he uncrossed them he would probably be tempted to hit the other boy. It's not like he would win a fist fight against Elliot -the other boy was more muscular than both of them- but he was surely willing to try.   
  
"Calm down" Noah said still reading his book. "Fighting is pointless and if you get into more trouble your parents are going to send you home for the rest of the year, Elliot. So be nice"  
  
Elliot crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, before facing Harry again.   
  
"Alright, look, I have no idea who attacked me. I was going to see the game and then... it's all black."  
  
Draco wasn't trying to provoke a fight anymore, but he was clearly distressed. It had been a rough first day. Harry wondered if the rest of their days would be the same.   
  
"It's okay, we are trying to find out"  
  
"What for? there are aurors on the train? They are going to supervise things at Hogwarts?"  
  
Harry sighed "It's not that we don't trust them..."  
  
"We don't trust them" Draco interjected and that made Elliot look a bit more interested in what they were saying. "I don't. They want to find clues to put me in Azkaban, they don't want to find whoever did this to you"  
  
Noah closed his book and sat a bit straighter, lowering his feet "What does this have to do with us?"  
  
"Well, we wanted to ask Elliot to help us" Harry said, trying to sound confident even if he didn't feel like that. What if someone else got hurt because he wanted to help? Last time he fucked up, Sirius died.   
There were no dementors on the train, but Harry felt as if a cold black hand touched his chest and took everything that made him happy.   
  
"How can he help you?"  
  
"Well, the more we are... the better. And I am sure he still has connections to... the pure blood families?"  
  
Draco looked away, his gaze lost somewhere in the window in front of him.   
  
"Well, I guess... I could ask around Slytherin but I don't think anyone is going to tell me anything"  
  
"Because you can't just _ask_ " Draco didn't look at anyone "You have to figure it out on your own, or trick someone to tell you. Haven't you learned anything?"  
  
Elliot growled and shifted in his seat. Alright, maybe not all slytherins were as cunning as Draco.  
  
"Fine then. I will do my _very best_ "  
  
Harry sighed, a small headache starting to make his life unbearable "We just want to know if anyone knows anything. We think someone is targeting non death eaters, and trying to frame it as if Malfoy or someone like him did it."  
  
"Fine. I said I would ask around. Can you please leave now?"  
  
Harry got up, that hadn't gone well but it could have been much, much worse "Sure. Meet us tonight after dinner to talk more?"   
  
Elliot nodded carelessly, relaxing back on his seat and grabbing a small tennis ball, throwing it up and down.   
  
"Let's go, Potter" Malfoy started opening the door, his back to all of them and clearly ready to leave. Was he going to go seat alone? Or would he want to go back with him and his friends?  
  
"Thank you" Noah said right before they left the compartment.   


Draco didn't go back with him, which was to be expected really. How could he ask him to face Ron after that incident? It would be insensitive. It was already hard for himself to do this.  
  
Harry took a deep breath before opening the door to the compartment and facing his friends. They both looked as if they had been crying, and Hermione was holding one of Ron's hands with both of hers.   
  
"Hey..." Harry tried, sitting next to Ron and looking at them "I'm sorry about what happened"  
  
Ron nodded and looked at him, his red eyes matching his hair. He would love to take this pain away from him, to make it better. If he could only bring them all back, change what happened, at least for his best friend he would.  
  
"Where is _he_?"   
  
Harry sighed "Ron, he is trying his best..."  
  
"I know you like him, okay?" His voice was very nasal and sad, almost as if he had wanted to say this to Harry for a while now "But that doesn't make it better and it doesn't change who he is or what he did. Harry, Dumbledore is dead because of him!"  
  
Harry felt something rising inside of him and he had to try very hard not to get up and leave. His breathing became a bit more erratic, memories of last night swarming inside his head like a bunch of bees.   
  
"You weren't there"  
  
"Ron" Hermione soothed, moving a bit closer to her boyfriend "This has been hard on us all. Even on Draco. We don't really know him, and if Harry trusts him... maybe we should too"  
  
Harry closed his eyes, feeling how Ron was probably still looking at him.  
"Doesn't make it easier"   
  
"I know, Ron" Harry mumbled and opened his eyes "Can we... You don't have to be friends with him, alright? Just... can we be civil?"  
Ron nodded once, before laying his head on Hermione's shoulder for the rest of the journey.  

*

His friends moods improved considerably as the day went on, and once they were at Hogwarts things seemed normal again. It would have been great if Harry had stopped thinking about Draco and how the blonde boy must be feeling after that morning.  
Well, they were going to talk about it at night and they always managed to fix things, didn't they? It was odd feeling good after coming back. It was odd feeling at home in a place that held so many bad memories.  
  
"Hey, Harry" Ginny smiled at him, sitting next to him during dinner. "We missed you during New Years"  
  
"Missed you too. Uhm, all of you" Harry looked away, scanning the room. He could see Draco on the other side, eating quietly. His manners were impeccable and Harry felt a bit self conscious of his own etiquette. He pictured himself trying to eat in the same table as Draco and Narcissa and had to stop himself from laughing.   
  
"...Harry? Are you listening to me?"  
  
Shit.  
  
"...No, sorry. I was thinking about something else" He looked at her and smiled the best smile he knew "Sorry"  
  
"It's fine" She gave him a look "I know you can't really play Quidditch this year or anything but would you like to train later this week? I could use the tips"  
  
"Yeah, sure. Friday?"  
  
"Great"  
  
There was a long pause while they both ate, not really looking at each other.   
  
"Hermione told me what happened today"  
  
Harry didn't look up, he had almost forgotten about it. It would have been much better if everyone else decided to keep going with their lives too. "So you and Malfoy... you are friends, now?"  
  
Oh.   
  
"I guess. I think he would kill me if I knew I am telling you this"  
  
Ginny frowned, quite serious "Alright"  
  
"Alright? You are not going to freak out on me like Ron?"  
  
She sighed a bit and looked over to the Slytherin table, the blonde boy completely unaware of her gaze. "I am not going to be friends with him just because you had a change of heart"  
  
Harry pursed his lips "It's a bit more complicated than that, but fine, Ginny"  
  
She shrugged and kissed his cheek before getting up "Just be careful, Harry, alright? You deserve some peace of mind"  
  
What did she know of what he did or didn't deserve? Harry said nothing to her. When he looked up, Draco was staring with a weird look on his face.   
  
God, he was going to have a headache for days.   
  
Dinner time was about to end when Draco got up, followed by Elliot. Harry could see things were still tense between them, maybe they would always be like that, but he wanted to know exactly why they hated each other. With a small sigh, Harry got up from the table and followed them outside the Great Hall.   
  
"Hey, do you think we can talk here?"  
  
Elliot shrugged "Nobody is listening to us"  
  
Draco seemed uncomfortable and looked around to make sure people weren't paying attention. Truth was, people were paying some degree of attention to them, mostly because Harry Potter was in the small group. Great.  
  
"So, did you learn anything?"  
  
Before Elliot could even open his mouth, a voice interrupted them. Harry turned to face one of the prefects. What were they doing wrong? The girl seemed clearly overwhelmed of being in front of them.   
  
"McGonagall wishes to see you"  
  
Harry frowned "All of us?"  
  
"Uh, no. You and... Malfoy"  
  
Draco gave her an intimidating look before looking back at Elliot "I guess we will have to talk later"  
  
"Look how sad it makes me"  
  
"Enough" Harry groaned, grabbing at Draco's arm and making him walk towards the headmistress' office.  

Most students were walking to their Common Rooms, chatting gleefully without paying attention to anyone in particular. Of course that didn't apply when Harry Potter was passing by. Eyes would find him and people would whisper.   
  
"What do you think she wants from us?"  
  
Harry had no idea. They didn't break any rules, did they?   
  
"Nothing good?"   
  
"Yeah, I guess. Do you think she knows about us and Elliot?"  
  
"I hate it when you put it like that" Draco shrugged and waited for the staircase to appear so they could get inside the office. Had he been in there after Dumbledore...? Harry had been inside the room, but he didn't like it. Not one bit. McGonagall deserved the position, no doubt about that, but it didn't change the sadness that filled him every time he entered that room.  
  
The differences were subtle enough, but Harry had spent so much time in that office once upon a time, that he could see where McGonagall had put her own touches.   
  
The woman herself was sitting behind her desk, looking to a side of the room where three Aurors were standing. It was clear they had been talking for a while now.   
  
Without looking Harry knew Draco was tense at his side, scared even. He wanted to reach out and touch his hand, let him know it was going to be okay. He didn't.   
  
"Good you are here" She got up too and looked at the young boys "I wanted to introduce you some of the aurors that will be around Hogwarts" She looked at them. One was a woman with brown skin and piercing eyes, her long black hair was tied up in a ponytail. The other two were male, young looking but with stern faces. "Mrs. Bennett will be supervising the Quidditch games. Mr. Bell and Mr. Sheppard will be securing the area around the Gryffindor Tower. They are here to ensure safety among students"  
  
The Aurors kept staring at them, and barely nodded when their names were called out. Harry didn't feel exactly safe at the moment, but at least they wouldn't have to see them all the time. Right?  
  
"Is this why you called us here, ma'am?"   
  
"No, Mr. Potter. Not entirely" She turned to the aurors again "You are dismissed, we appreciate your work for the school"  
  
"Thank you, headmistress" The one that was Sheppard said, smiling warmly before leaving with the rest of them in tow. Alright, at least they weren't there to take Draco to prison or blame them or anything like that.   
  
Malfoy finally breathed, but kept his arms crossed.   
  
"What else?" He asked, in a tone that no one should use with a headmistress.  If McGonagall was annoyed by it, she didn't show.   
  
"I am aware you two are not sleeping in your bedrooms" Draco got a bit paler "The School has strict rules about this sort of thing, and after the attacks we cannot allow something like this to happen. Do you understand?"  
  
Harry felt like someone was pulling the ground from under him. How could she know about this? They had been careful and no prefect had found them. No ghost had seen them. Their friends wouldn't go and tell on them either. _How?  
_  
"Do we... get detention?"  
  
What? Why did Draco care about that?  
  
"No, but I will have to magically seal the room you have been staying in. I am aware that this year is hard on both of you, but it doesn't mean you can break school rules. If you wish to talk to one another you can go to your common rooms and do so"  
  
Draco wasn't looking at her anymore, he wasn't looking at Harry either, his gaze was focused on his feet.   
  
"It's not... that simple, professor"  
  
She gave him a look that showed she wasn't going to back down. Harry wanted to punch a wall, or maybe scream. He didn't, of course.   
  
"This will be in effect tomorrow, and the aurors have been told not to allow any students out of their rooms after ten"  
  
"Very well" Draco spoke, looking up with a small frown "Could I speak alone with you, Headmistress?"  
_  
What?  
_  
Harry looked at him without understanding what he was doing. Or why. McGonagall seemed surprised as well, but she nodded and looked at Harry, clearly waiting for him to leave. Harry didn't want to leave, he wanted to fight for the little safe space they had, he wanted to say _something_. But he turned around, a bit shocked and ashamed and left the room.  
  
*

"What the fuck was that?" Harry asked the moment Draco appeared again. He was angry, not incredibly angry but still. Draco had been acting so strange in there and he didn't like to be cut out of stuff like that. Not after he had been told the only thing that gave him comfort would be taken away.   
  
"I had to talk to her, Potter"  
  
"Alone"  
  
"Yes, alone" Draco frowned, but didn't seem willing to pick a fight with him "You heard her, tomorrow there won't be..." He trailed off, but Harry understood "Shall we go?"  
  
He was still angry, but the idea to turn around and leave alone was horrifying. So he started walking towards the hallway they both knew so well, without saying anything but so close to each other that they hands brushed as they walked.   
  
Harry looked at the familiar room, knowing full well he wouldn't see it again. He almost wanted to cry. Nothing was permanent in his life, was it? He would always have to leave whatever place that gave him comfort. Not to mention people...   
  
"Stop sulking"  
  
"I am not..." Harry frowned but stopped, looking away while Draco took off his vest and shoes. "Maybe a little bit"  
  
"You always broke the rules and suddenly being scolded by McGonagall turned you into a well behaving citizen?"  
  
"What? No! I... I have always been a well behaving citizen, Malfoy, sod off"  
  
Malfoy chuckled and threw himself on the bed, half sitting. "Sure, Potter. Merlin, can you relax? It's not so bad. At least she didn't mention Elliot. Clearly she has no idea what we are doing" He looked down to his hands, playing softly with the crumpled sheets.   
  
Harry took off his vest and shoes, imitating the other boy, before getting on the bed. He sat next to Draco, and stared at his hands. The blonde one had such slender fingers...   
  
"Do you want to talk about what happened today?"   
  
Draco looked at him and shrugged "There's nothing to talk about"  
  
"There is"  
  
"No, there isn't... Look, I appreciate what you are doing" Draco sighed and sat up, pulling at his tie to undo it "But some things won't change simply because we want them to. You friend can feel the way that he feels and he is right"  
  
"He's not" Harry said firmly, causing him to stop talking "You are not a Death Eater anymore. You are not like your family. And you didn't kill his brother"  
  
Draco swallowed, finally taking off his green tie "I... Thank you" It was but a whisper, just enough for Harry to hear it. It was enough. More than enough. Harry smiled.  
  
"Don't mention it"  
  
"How are you?"  
  
Harry thought about it for a few minutes "Good. At least right now"  
There was a look on Draco's face that he couldn't quite figure out, but it was nice. Really nice.  
  
"You know I don't like working with Elliot, right?"  
  
"You still haven't told me what happened between you two exactly"  
  
Draco sighed and shrugged "He just knows something about me that I would very much like him not to know"  
  
Alright. Odd.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I would also like you not knowing what it is"  
  
"Fine" Harry wasn't fine with it "but you know you can trust me, right? I know it's odd but... I won't tell"  
  
"I know you won't"  
  
"Because if I did you would kill me?"  
  
Draco laughed and Harry found himself smiling, happy.   
  
"I would, yeah"  
  
"You could _try_ "   
  
"Oh, shut up"  Draco smirked, looking away with something that looked like a... blush? Harry tried not to look too much, but he was bad at hiding stuff like that.  
  
"So you liked the Christmas' gift"   
  
"I did" Draco stopped playing with the sheets and laid down on his back, staring at the ceiling they both knew so well "You _really_ can afford something like that?"   
  
"Yes. My parents left me money. Lots of it"   
  
Draco nodded without looking at him, a hand over his stomach and the other one behind his head.   
  
"That's good"   
  
"I guess"  Harry imitated him, laying on almost the same position "I don't care about money. I know it's important to live, but I have lived without it most of my life"   
  
There was a small _"hm"_ from Draco.  
  
"That's why you always wore those hand-me-downs?"   
  
"Kind of"  Harry felt a bitter taste inside his mouth, and wondered how much to tell Draco. Maybe being honest about that part of his life would make it better. Or maybe it would make it worse. Harry closed his eyes. " My aunt and uncle had money, they just hated me"   
  
The mattress dipped and Harry knew Draco was now on his side, looking at him with those huge grey eyes. Damn him.   
  
"Hated you? Why do you say that?"   
  
"They... weren't nice to me"   
  
"I think you have said that before"   
  
Harry knew that was also true, but how could he explain without breaking down?  
  
"They made me sleep under the stairs, in a really small... thing. I used my cousin's old clothes. They never fit well. I had no toys, nothing was mine in there. They always told me to pretend like I didn't exist" It was almost as if he couldn't stop now that he was saying all of this "They never hit me. They would shove me, or tell me I was nothing. Once I broke my arm and it took them t-..."   
  
Harry opened his eyes when Draco hugged him. He wasn't expecting that from the other boy, but it happened. The weight of his childhood pressed on his chest, and he found himself hugging him back.   
  
"I'm sorry" Draco whispered, holding him even tighter.  
  
"It's... fine"   
  
"I'm sorry" A long pause, neither of them moved "I know what... that feels like. Not exactly, I... Father, he's..."  
  
"I'm sorry"  Harry whispered, pulling him closer.  
  
*  
  
Harry woke in the middle of the night, startled by a nightmare. In it he had crawled on the floor with a hand to his side, feeling blood coming out of his stomach while someone screamed for him. His mother? His friends? He couldn't tell, but there was someone trying to murder him - again. He hated having nightmares. He was powerless in them, and when he woke up his head was all scrambled.

Harry breathed in deeply and felt movement next to him. Oh, right. Shit. He wondered if he had screamed like he used to. He hoped he hadn't since it hadn't involved Voldemort or one of his dead friends.

It was so dark that even though he closed his eyes, it didn't change anything other than making him feel a bit safer.

"...Back to bed" he heard Malfoy's tired voice... Soft too. Harry pressed his back against the mattress again, opening his eyes and trying to see him through the shadows. They were close, he was pretty sure of... Oh. Alright. Draco was hugging him. Alright, cool. It was... Normal.

Harry had no idea what to do. He wanted to move but... How? He had little to no experience with hugs and... Being hugged in bed? Well, it was more like _cuddling_ really.

"...Just sleep"

Harry nodded but decided to lay on his side and for some reason Draco took that as a cue to do the same and... Now his back was to his chest and Harry had never wanted to hug someone so badly. So he did. Draco's back was warm and he could smell his hair from where he was and feel his breathing and...

"Calm down, big spoon" His words were a bit drowsy and slow, but there was a smile hidden in the tone

"Sorry"

"For what?" one of Draco's hands found its way to his and then he was... Holding the hand Harry had over his stomach. He closed his eyes again, feeling warm and happy and safe.

Safety was something he wasn't used to. From a young age those that should've given him comfort and safety only hurt him and left him alone, right now he was given all of that by someone that should be hurting him. Life was weird.

"... Night, Malfoy"

Draco moved his fingers over Harry's but said nothing else. Had he heard his nightmare? Did he care? Harry closed his eyes and hugged him tighter, not really wanting to hold back. He... Had needed to touch someone. To be hugged. And his mind was foggy with sleep.

 

It would have been nice to wake up alone. Or to wake up not spooning him or touching at all. It wasn't that he didn't like the feeling, he did, but it would be harder to explain when the lights were on and they both were completely awake. Harry had no luck. Morning found him laying on his back, with a blonde head over his chest. It was strange having someone hugging him like this, knowing they had spent the whole night together. And what was weirder was realizing Draco wasn't asleep. His breathing wasn't slow, and his eyes were lost in some point between the sheets and the wall. What was he thinking? Was cuddling in bed normal for Slytherins? He was pretty sure it wasn't.

"...Morning"

Draco nodded, his cheek rubbing against the fabric of his shirt "Morning"

This was the first time in months that he woke feeling calm and not tired. It was refreshing, really. So he placed a hand on Draco's back, rubbing it softly and keeping him in place.

"Do you think she's really going to take this room away from us?"

"Yes" Malfoy had no doubts about it, and it made his heart drop to his feet.

"Oh"

"Yeah"

There was a long silence. Why now? He had discovered how nice it was to have someone holding him at night and now.... It was completely gone. And yeah, maybe he didn't want to think what it all meant but he knew he wanted this to be frequent. And with him. Merlin, _him_ of all people.

What was going on? Harry felt something squeezing at his chest and his brain trying to figure out exactly what he felt. The answers were terrifying, so much so he was unable to see it.

"Potter...?"

Harry blinked, thankful that he didn't have to keep thinking about his feelings. He was horrible at that. "What?"

"Once this is all over..."

"What's over?"

"School. Hogwarts. Do you think...?"

Harry moved the hand on his back slowly up and down, feeling his warmth.

"Yeah, we can be friends"

"... Friends, sure"

What? He had said something wrong and Draco wouldn't say what it was and he didn't know and... Harry looked down, but Draco didn't look up so he couldn't see his face. At least not completely. Was this about all the hugging? Did Draco not want to be friends? He wanted to. Very much so. They had many reasons not to be, and maybe Draco was being smart and realizing they would combust into flames before getting to be good friends. Maybe their differences were too grand. Harry closed his eyes, thinking maybe he should give up too.

"Potter...? There is something I haven't told you"

"What is it?" his heart started beating, fast. Was this his secret? Could Draco feel his heartbeat?

"It might change what you think of me. I... I don't even know what you think about this."

Harry sighed, feeling that dark shadow that would never quite go away tug at his core "You murdered someone"

Draco looked up immediately, a frown on his perfect face. "What? No! No... Potter, I didn't."

"Okay, then" there was a small pause between them but Draco wasn't speaking "You... Did things you are not proud of"

And that was when Draco finally moved away, leaving a cold shadow where he had been. "Of course I did, Potter. That a surprise?"

"No"

Draco sat at the edge of the bed, his back to him and his shoulders extremely tense. In that moment Harry knew that if he was too harsh, he could lose what they had. Whatever it was.

"Sorry"

"Don't do that"

"Do what?"

"Be sorry for things you didn't do. Things you have _NO_ fucking idea."

Harry sat up too, but didn't touch him. No one should touch a snake that's ready to defend itself.... Or a Dragon that's scared.

"I won't think less of you"

"It's not that... Look, forget it"

"Is this what Elliot knows?"   
  
Draco looked at him, getting up from the bed and searching for his vest and tie. It was clear whatever moment they had it was completely gone now. "Yes"  
  
"And you won't tell me"   
"Look... I..." Draco closed his eyes, trying to find it in himself to... just say the words. Just say it out loud. "I would if I could. Alright? Just... I can't. Not right now"   
  
"What if Elliot tells me?" Draco looked hurt, betrayed. "I won't ask him! But he could just say it..."   
  
"He won't. It's good information for blackmail, Potter"  
  
"Wait, he's blackmailing you?"  
  
"No, but he's still a Slytherin"   
  
Right. Harry closed his eyes for a moment before getting up to look for his vest and shoes. It was almost stupid to sleep completely dressed with him. Usually he would change in front of his mates back at the Gryffindor dormitories, they were all boys right? But with Draco it felt different. Almost as... Almost intimate. So he never changed in front of him, and Draco didn't either. Although Harry knew he didn't because of the Dark Mark, was he scared of his reaction? Harry had seen a couple marks in his lifetime and he was sure it would mostly make him sad.   
  
"We should talk to him again"   
  
"I know, doesn't mean I like it"  Draco looked at him, his school uniform almost intact "What? You want to do it _now_?"   
  
"You don't?"   
  
Draco sighed "You never rest, do you?"   
  
"I guess I don't"   
  
There was a brief pause "I have a better idea for today"   
  
Harry frowned, not quite sure as to what he meant "Hm?"  
  
"Just say yes, Potter"  
  
"...Yes?" He chuckled, feeling a bit silly "What do you want to do?"   
  
"I'll tell you later. Now follow me, Potter"   
  
Something moved inside Harry's stomach, something that felt a lot like butterflies.   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was long(er)! Sorry for the delay but hey, I got a 90% on my exam :D ! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and yes, this is clearly going to be long. Wasn't planning it to be so huge but... ;)


	12. The Date

The piece of pie was soft and incredibly delicious, Harry didn't remember when was the last time he had enjoyed something sweet. When it had became clear that Draco wanted to go to Hogsmeade for breakfast, Harry felt unsure about where they would go. Would people stare? People always stared. And not only that, but they were breaking the rules by being out of school on a Tuesday on their own. Draco didn't seem to worry about it one bit though, going straight for the Three Broomsticks. It was one of the most decent establishments out there.  
  
Maybe because it was a Tuesday, or maybe they were just lucky but the place was not as crowded as usual. People gave them a few glances, clearly realizing who they were but decided to go back to their breakfasts. Too early to make a scene, surely.  
  
They had ordered only one piece of pie, but Draco had begun to question it.

"I think we should ask for another one" He said while running his fork through the pie "Don't you think?"

"I don't really eat that much. We were on the road for a while and there wasn't much to eat, really"

There was a small pause while Draco had the fork inside his mouth, staring at him "So you eat like someone who just came out of a war" Harry grimaced but nodded "We have to change that, Potter"

And before he could say anything, the other boy was calling the waitress and asking for another piece of pie. Bloody hell. Draco always got his way, didn't he?

Harry chuckled, his eyes focused on Malfoy. "Alright, fine. But I think you have a sweet tooth and hate to share"

"Oh, you got me"

Teasing was effortless, completely natural between them and it had been so _easy_ to go from hurting each other to making each other laugh that Harry always wondered why they didn't do it sooner.

The people there were clearly aware of their presence. Harry Potter was famous, and Draco Malfoy was infamous. So they made quite a pair for gossip. It was all fine, really, but Harry worried someone would dare say something hurtful to Draco. What would he do then? Well, he knew what he would do, but it wasn't something _nice_ and deep down he knew violence solved nothing. But, again, if someone instigated hate after what he had been through, he would probably lose his cool.

"Stop thinking, Potter" Draco had a small smirk around his fork before pulling it out of his mouth and it was so distracting Harry completely forgot what he was thinking about.

"I wasn't over thinking things"

" _Hm_ , sure. They are only staring"

Harry sighed, had he been so obvious? "I know. I worry. Last time I was out in public..."

Malfoy's eyes went soft and the hand he had over the table twitched once "You had a panic attack, I read it on the..."

"It made the papers? Ugh, Merlin"

"It's fine. Everything ends up on the papers"

Harry smiled even if his attempt at making him feel better failed "I guess I just want my life out of them, you know?"

"I'll drink to that" Draco raised his tea and Harry did the same hitting the other one softly, spilling a bit over their hands. Now that the atmosphere was lighthearted again, Harry decided to search around the room. It was something he had learned during his time running from Voldemort, and not something that was easily erased. It was a simple thing, really: look around two or three times to make sure there is no one suspicious, that there is no danger.

Draco cleared his throat, clearly realizing he was distracted and Harry decided he had to come up with an excuse. There were things too shameful to say out loud. Luckily, there was a couple furiously making out in one of the far corners of the room.

"Those two are having fun, huh?"

Draco didn't seem amused at all "Disgusting. They shouldn't do that in public" His face showed discontent but it also showed something else. Harry was afraid it was envy.

"Oh come on, Malfoy, you can't be that uptight"

"'m not" he took a long sip of his drink

"Then what, you know her?"

"Of course not"

Harry gave him a look "Ha, you want to snog some girl, don't you?"

"No" His answer was a bit slow.

"Yeah you do, who is she?"

"I am not interested, Potter"

Harry frowned because that was _honest_ "Alright, I was just pestering you... Sorry. I just thought..."

"You thought?"

"Well, I have seen you a lot with that girl. Uh, the Greengrass girl? One of them"

Draco, even though he was uncomfortable, looked incredibly interested in every word that was coming out of his mouth. "Stalking me again?" A small smile, something moved inside Harry's stomach.

"No, you literally talk to her during Potions"

"And I sit in front of you"

"And you sit in front of me"

Draco chuckled and shrugged "She is a friend. Father wishes me to marry her, yes. I doubt _she_ wishes that"

"I know that, I read your..letters, remember? I was asking if _you_ wanted her"

"Oh. No, I don't"

Harry nodded. Is not that he didn't think Astoria was pretty, she... Was? But she looked like one of those Slytherin girls that would shame him for his hair or his manners. It slightly reminded him of the first impression he got of Narcissa when they met. He was probably wrong, if Draco was friends with her. Wait, were they friends?

"Are you two friends?"

"Hm" Draco shrugged and clearly didn't mean to elaborate further. Harry had no clue what that meant but decided to let it be.

Had he made the mood weird again? Fucking awesome, Harry, really. He saw Draco stare at the couple a few times, his brow slightly furrowed.

"Pure bloods are not supposed to do that. And even if we were, I-..."

"You?"

A long pause. So long Harry started to get truly uncomfortable and shifted in his seat.

"How about we ask them to wrap this for us and we go to our next place?"

"... Next? You planned this?"

"Yes, before you woke up" A smile and then he was gone. Well, not gone. Draco quickly moved to the counter probably to pay for their meal and ask for a bag. Merlin. This was going to be a day, wasn't it?  


**

By school rules they were encouraged to be in the Great Hall for meals, but they never quite cared about breakfast that much. Noah was sitting with an open book on his lap while Elliot picked at some fruit.  
Hufflepuff's common room was quite different than his own, and it was clear the house valued human interaction and team work since every piece of furniture seemed to be made to fit several people. At times he felt out of place, but Noah felt the same. So it was fine.

"Are you still worried about helping them?" Noah toyed with one of the book's pages, looking at him.

"Yeah. Harry Potter is bad news, you know that, Noah"

"He _was_. The war is over now"

Elliot made a face "No, he has a thing for rule breaking and getting in trouble"

Noah shrugged, unconvinced "we were going to investigate anyway, why not accept their help?"

"Because he is trouble and I hate Malfoy"

There was a small pause after that "Yes, I know. He has done nothing to you"

Elliot gave him a look, quite cold "You know what his father did to my aunt"

"I do. And you should hate his dad"

A groan. "You can be quite cold sometimes, Noah. Are you sure you are a Huffie?"

Noah shrugged, he wondered that several times. Wouldn't Ravenclaw be better for him? He had been at odds with the Hat ever since first year.

"Truth is, I don't know how to do something like this. I am not an auror nor want to be. _And_ aurors are here now, they clearly know their job and wouldn't like us meddling"

"Are you sure you are a Slytherin?"

Elliot laughed and nudged his knee. "Fine, I'll give them a chance I guess"

"Good"

"Good?"

"Yes, whoever did that to you is out there and I don't feel safe here"

"Noah... Nothing is going to happen to you"

"Whatever"  
  
Elliot sighed, they had known each other since first year, but hadn't become friends until a year before the war. They were thick as thieves now, and he was sure nothing would ever pull them apart. Hufflepuffs were really underappreciated, because the reason why Elliot had such good grades was Noah. And not exactly because they sat and studied a lot. Sometimes when you are a _good_ Slytherin you need a _good_ Hufflepuff to cover your back during exams.   
  
"I think Bea might know something"  
  
Noah blushed and he tried not to chuckle. "Bea? Why?"  
  
"She told me she was going to the game, but she was still in the common room when I left. If she left after I did maybe she saw something or someone?"  
  
"Smart"  
  
"I try" Elliot smiled showing his teeth and Noah tried not to roll his eyes, sitting up and closing his book.   
  
"I don't know if we should bring her into this"  
  
"Noah, nothing is going to happen to her. It's only a couple questions, promise"  
  
There was a long pause while they both stared at each other. Noah finally gave in "Fine. I need to go put on my binder, wait for me"  
  
Elliot nodded laying back on the couch, of course he was going to wait for Noah. He didn't like going to class on his own, really. Not since the attack. He had tried to disguise it as being a good friend or whatever, but truth was he felt his heart quicken every time he turned a corner.   
  
"Ah" He mumbled to himself, getting up and grabbing a piece of chalk from his bag. It was an odd habit, but he liked to do a small mark on every room he had been in. He had started doing it during first year, after getting completely lost in the castle and now it was almost second nature.   
  
Noah thought it was pretty silly but always let him do it. He even waited for all their classmates to leave so he could do his thing without being seen.   
  
*  
  
Harry had observed how Draco was with cold weather. It was truly fascinating how his skin would go even paler and how the tip of his nose and his cheekbones would be slightly pink. Harry tried to remember if he had noticed anything like this during their Quidditch games, but the snitch usually took all of his focus so...   
  
"You know, we can go back to the castle, you don't have to be freezing out here"  
  
Draco frowned and shook his head "It's okay. I am not _freezing_ "  
  
Well, his lips weren't getting blue-ish.   
  
"How do you handle the heat?"  
  
"Excuse you?"  
  
Harry chuckled "I mean, you seem to be quite affected by the cold. How do you handle the heat? You know, summer"  
  
"Ah" Draco seemed to think about it, walking to a place only he knew the way "With as much dignity as possible"  
  
Harry laughed loudly at that, trying to imagine Draco -and all the Malfoys- completely dying of heat but trying to keep their straight faces.   
  
"And with magic"  
  
"And with magic" Harry was still smirking causing Draco to do the same.   
"Oh come on, Potter, how do _you_ handle the weather?"  
  
Harry shrugged "Melting during the summer, but winter is nice"  
  
" _Winter is nice_ , you are insane"   
  
They both chuckled, and Draco kept walking through the snow and away from the village. It was a bit suspicious, but Harry tried very hard not to feel weary or scared. This was Malfoy, after all. The same Malfoy that had slept on his chest the whole night. This couldn't be bad.   
  
They walked though some trees and Harry was about to ask where the hell were they headed when he saw it.  
  
And _oh._  
  
Yeah, it was truly beautiful.  
  
Harry had almost forgotten there was a lake near the village, that froze over during the winter and most people didn't visit because there was no real path there. How come Draco knew of this place? Did he like going there?  
  
Draco stopped, smiled and started to untie his boots "Now, you are going to do a little spell, Potter"  
  
"A... What are you doing?"  
  
"Use a water resistant spell on our socks, Potter. Trust me on this"  
  
"It's _freezing,_ you are going to die"  
  
Draco laughed and it was such a nice laugh that Harry almost did the same.  
  
"Alright, Malfoy, you win" He untied his shoes and used his wand to cast the spells the other boy was instructing him. One to repel water, another one to keep their feet warm. Where they going to do what he thought?  
Draco left his shoes and then stepped on the snow as if it was nothing, starting to slowly walk towards the surface of the frozen lake, his legs trying to keep balance.   
  
"Well, come on, Potter"  
  
Harry took off his shoes slowly and then stepped on the frozen ice. It felt cold, but it didn't make his body cold. Huh, _magic._  
  
"Woah!" He had to grab one of Draco's arms for dear life because his feet were sliding and he had no clue how to keep balance in this sort of situation. He remembered how his aunt and uncle had taken Dudley ice skating a couple times, but had left him at home locked in his cupboard.   
  
So yeah, he had no clue what to do.   
  
Malfoy felt steady enough to hold onto, so he did. Harry stopped feeling like he was going to fall in any moment and looked up to the other boy. He really wasn't expecting to find such a fond look on his face, one that was quickly replaced by a cocky smirk.   
  
"So if I just move away from you..."  
  
"Don't you dare, Malfoy!"  
  
Draco laughed and grabbed his arms, _without_ moving away. "It's only ice, and thanks to your spell we can slide right over it. It's not as fancy as proper skates but..."  
  
"Have you done this sort of thing before?"  
  
"We have a pond at the Manor"  
  
"Of course you do" Harry looked down at his feet, quite close to each other. Would the ice hold? Oh Merlin, please let the ice hold. He really didn't want a cold bath.   
  
Draco moved a bit, forcing him to follow. They were far from the edge of the lake so if anything bad happened... Oh, Goodness.   
  
"Father placed a charm to make the pond not freeze during winter"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because it's not proper to ice skate"  
  
" _What?_ "  
  
Draco shrugged and his hands traveled through Harry's arms to his wrists. "I don't know, ask him"  
  
"Yeah, no thanks" Harry wanted to hold his hands, he really wanted to. Besides, it would be better right? They wouldn't fall and they wouldn't need to be _this_ close and maybe he could actually move around on the ice and discover if he liked it or now.   
  
"So, wait, are you any good at this?"  
  
Draco shook his head "Not flexible enough. But I can avoid falling"  
  
"Yeah, how about you teach me that, hm?"  
  
"Alright, Potter. Try keeping balance with your feet"  
  
"Ha-ha. Is your next advice: don't fall?"  
  
"Well, yes"  
  
Harry gave him a look, but slowly let go of his arms, starting to find balance while his feet moved frantically.   
  
"Relax, it's not so hard once you stop thinking about it" Draco said, sliding away from him without really looking worried. He always looked so effortless. Harry wondered if he only did things he was _good_ at. Next time, he thought, he would take him to do something completely out of his comfort zone.   
  
"I think I'm getting the..." Harry said right before falling on his ass.   
Draco was looking at him, with a serious expression trying very hard not to laugh at him. "Oh fuck off"  
  
It took them two seconds of silence before they started laughing, loudly. Harry was clutching at his sides by the time Draco moved close to offer him his hand.   
  
"Oh... oh no, if I'm cold, Malfoy..." Harry said, pulling him by his arm and making him fall. What happened next was something Harry should have seen coming: since Draco's body was falling due to gravity but Draco didn't want to fall face first against the ice, his hands reached out to Harry and Harry of course grabbed him -because he wasn't going to get Draco hurt- which meant one of Draco's knees hit the ice quite loudly, while the other one ended up between Harry's legs.   
  
"I'm going to murder you, Potter" Draco whispered, his face completely hidden on Harry's shoulder while he was probably feeling a lot of pain on his right knee.   
  
"Sorry, are you okay?" Harry tried to look at him, but he was getting a bit bothered by how close they were, he could feel Draco's cheek close to his own.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, stop being so sorry" Draco finally moved away, giving in and sitting next to him. A shiver ran through him and he moved closer to his side. "I'm not mad"  
  
"No, I know" Harry whispered, but he hadn't been so sure. Jesus. It's not that he felt like everything was his fault all the time, but sometimes he remembered that feeling of not being wanted and being a burden and it... was ugly.  
  
"I quite like being here, actually" Draco was looking at him with his full attention and Harry tried to held his gaze.  
  
"I like it too. Did you come here often? It's a bit dangerous isn't it?"  
  
"Not when you have your wand. What's the worst that could happen? Yes, the water underneath us is freezing but you are not going to drown"  
  
"Spoken like a true Gryffindor"  
  
Draco made the most disgusted face he had ever seen and Harry felt his spirits go up again. Oh, it was hard not to smile at that.  
  
"Slytherins are not all cowards"  
  
"I know, Malfoy" He whispered, and alright... maybe it was the cold that was starting to rise from his back to his head, or maybe it was the way Malfoy's nose was all pink, or maybe it was just a lapse of good judgment but Harry moved his hand and touched Draco's. It was a simple gesture, just his thumb brushing lightly over the back of his hand.   
  
Draco looked down making it more obvious and Harry thought about moving away. He was crossing a line, wasn't he?   
Right as he was about to move, Draco took his hand. He wasn't just brushing or touching, he was _holding_ his hand. Harry had to swallow and look at him to know this was okay. By all means, it seemed to be okay. Draco was relaxed, almost about to break a small smile, and his hand was _so_ soft.   
  
Harry decided to be the brave Gryffindor he was supposed to be and moved a bit closer, their joined hands resting over one of Draco's legs.   
  
"S-so do you... like ice skating?" Draco spoke, and it was odd to hear him so nervous and insecure. Was this him out of his comfort zone? It definitely wasn't Harry's comfort zone. Touching other people? being warm and nice? Harry knew very little about that. He thought about Molly's hugs, and Hermione's and yeah that was lovely but it was different, wasn't it? Molly was the closest he had ever come to having a mother -even if it petrified him to say that out loud, for fear of being rejected by someone who already had a family- and Hermione was his friend, like a sister. This felt different.   
  
He remembered Cho, but had he ever held hands with Cho? And that was different too, it's not like he was going to kiss Malfoy.  
_  
Oh God  
_  
Harry squeezed his hand and tried to focus enough to answer what Draco had just asked.   
  
"Well, I definitely don't like falling on my arse, Malfoy... but this was nice"  
  
"Yeah, I should've known you would fall. I forgot you have two left feet"  
  
" _Hey_!"  
  
"You could barely dance at the ball in fourth year, Potter, don't lie"  
  
"I had never danced before... I bet you are great at all of that"  
  
"I am"  
  
Harry widened his eyes because he didn't really expect Draco to be good at something like _dancing.  
_  
"Ballroom dancing. It's... a high society thing. Want to learn?"  
  
"Standing on ice?"  
  
"Hm, it might actually help you"  
  
Harry chuckled, looking at where their shoes had been abandoned. Wouldn't it be better to try this on solid ground? He felt a bit dizzy from having his hand held so... "Alright, sure. But don't let me fall"  
  
"I wouldn't dare" Draco got up, using their joined hands to pull the other boy up. Without really thinking, almost as if he had done this a million times, he put a hand on Harry's back to keep him in place. Harry was a bit overwhelmed by the closeness and his hand and... everything.   
  
"Okay" Draco chuckled and let go of his waist, grabbing Harry's free hand and placing it on _his_ lower back "Is that okay?"  
  
Of course it was okay, it was more than okay. They were still extremely close -so close Harry could see exactly how pale Draco's eyelashes were- and Draco's back felt... Merlin, was he really thinking about that?  
  
"So... I lead?" Harry frowned, confused while Draco held their joined hands a bit away from their bodies.   
  
"Yes, I assume you want to learn the _boy_ part of the dance, right?"  
  
Harry shrugged "I am a boy, I guess"  
  
"You guess?"  
  
"No, I am. I..."  
  
"Don't be nervous" He whispered, but Harry could hear him clearly and it was soothing, in a way. "Look, it's not even that hard. Just move forward and I will follow"  
  
"Like this?"  
  
"No, not like walking" Draco stopped him and made him move one feet first "Alright, a bit like walking. It's a 1, 2, 3"   
  
Harry looked down at his own feet, completely confused as to how he had to move.   
  
"One step forward towards me, yes, like that. Then like so to the side and then together... Good!"  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Hey, that's the basics and you are still stepping on my toes"  
  
"That's because you are not moving at the same time!"  
  
Draco chuckled "Alright, yeah, I'm not used at doing this backwards"  
It was difficult not feeling stupid dancing slowly -and clumsily- with no music on, but Draco's shoulders were so relaxed he felt at ease.   
  
"So, you had a lot of practice?"  
  
"Hm" He nodded, looking down for a moment and then smiling, his hand feeling warm on Harry's. "We hosted a lot of parties back in the day. And attended even more. It's tradition to know how to dance, you know? This is a simple one, but the one we did in fourth year, remember? That was a bit more complicated"  
  
"Don't remind me. I had no idea what to do, well, we had those lessons..."  
  
"Yeah, extremely boring if you ask me"  
  
"So that's why you were so over it"  
  
"Because I already know all our traditional dances? Well, yes. Had lots of lessons and tutors"  
  
Harry frowned at that, how ridiculous being wealthy seemed. Tutors for dance? Sometimes Harry could not understand the _traditional_ wizarding world.   
  
Feeling good and relaxed, he decided to take a chance and moving slightly away, he pulled at Draco's hand giving him a twirl.   
  
"Alright, that was unexpected" Draco chuckled pressing himself closer to Harry "Do muggles do that?"  
  
"Yup"  
  
Draco's hand was now resting on his shoulder, causing him to be _really_ close to his chest and Harry's face. So close.   
  
It would have been really easy to move forward, to just tilt his head and kiss him. Harry didn't want to dwell on why he was having those ideas, but he knew what he wanted to do. Hell, maybe he should just be a Gryffindor about it and forget about everything else. He was having an internal argument about it when Draco slowly moved away, breaking all contact. He wasn't even holding his hand anymore.   
  
What had gone wrong?  
  
"I'm freezing, can we go back?"  
  
"Yeah..." Harry looked at their shoes at the edge of the lake, would they ever have another morning like this one?  
  
Draco was really fast sometimes. Sometimes he moved and Harry had no idea what had happened until after it had happened. Or maybe Harry was slow. But in a blink of an eye, Draco had moved and kissed his cheek very softly and very briefly.   
  
"Let's go "   
  
"Yeah"  And then he was gone to get his shoes and Harry was sure he was going to fall again on the ice.

*

Bea was a sixth year Slytherin just like Elliot. Her hair was long and straight as an arrow, and she always seemed to be over everything. He had no idea why Noah liked her so much, but he did so he respected that. Finding her wasn't hard, but getting her to pay attention was another thing entirely.  
  
When Elliot thought about Bea, he wasn't really sure how he felt about her. If he could just ignore her existence things would probably be better. But since they were in the same house and had shared most of their years together, he couldn't just tune her out like other students.   
  
"Hey, Bea. Got a minute?"   
  
She looked at them with a completely bored expression, clearly not interested. It was weird to find her alone, too, so this must have been their lucky day.   
  
"Sure, what?"   
  
Elliot knew they only had a few moments to get something out of her before she put some excuse and decided to leave.  
  
"Hi, Bea"   
  
"Oh hi. Uhm, Noah?"   
  
"Yeah"   
  
Elliot felt a bit bad, but decided to get to the point "Bea, did you go to the game when I was attacked?"   
  
"Oh" She looked interested at that "Yeah, I left shortly after you did"   
  
"Did you see anything?" Noah asked a bit more confident now.   
  
"Hm, no, nothing out of the ordinary"  
  
"Was anyone there?"  
  
"Some students, I guess" And she was getting bored. Great. Could she just focus? Had someone drop her as a baby?   
  
"Bea, listen this is important" Elliot didn't want to be harsh. Or maybe he did. "Did you see _anyone_ near me?"   
  
"Oh I didn't see you"   
  
"Jesus Christ, Bea, I know"  Elliot gave her a hard stare "But there is only one path out to the main doors!"  
  
She rolled her eyes "Don't need to be so _macho_ about it. Listen, I saw nothing alright?"   
  
"That's fine, Bea"  
  
"Thank you, Noel"  
  
"Noah"  
  
"Whatever" She grabbed her bag, furious and got up looking at them as if they were the plague "And don't come bothering me again, Elliot, okay?"   
  
Elliot didn't care if she was angry. He really didn't. And if he went into details as to why he didn't like her, things would get messy. So it was better to act as if he had been a douche and that's that.   
  
"You shouldn't have said that" Noah whispered, clearly anxious next to him.  
  
"Sorry, you know how I lose my patience easily... You okay?"  
  
Noah nodded, looking a bit colder than usual. "I'm going to the library"  He started walking back to the Castle but stopped a few steps away. Elliot was staring at his back without moving. "Well, are you coming?"   
  
"Yeah"  Elliot looked at the rock bench where Bea had been sitting and decided to leave a small mark there. It would be erased by the wind  or some other student but it comforted him.   
  
"I'm sorry she's like that"   
  
"That's enough, Elliot"  
  
"I just don't understand why you like her"   
  
" _Elliot_ "  
  
" _Fine_ "   
  
*

Walking back towards the castle Harry realized he had to come to terms with what was happening to him. It wasn't just that he wanted to be friends with Draco, was it? _He liked him._ In _that_ way and there was nowhere to run from it anymore.  
  
It made no sense. Harry had never liked a boy before, never. He couldn't remember a time when he had checked out a guy or... or anything like that. Well, it's not like he had had any time to figure out what he liked or didn't like. He had just assumed... Why wouldn't he like girls? And he wasn't sure if he didn't like them now. Was he supposed to stop liking girls?  
  
He knew no one at school that liked boys, all of his friends were straight. How could this have happened to him? And liking _Malfoy_ of all people? Merlin, if he told Draco the truth he would probably laugh at his face and their new friendship would be ruined.  
  
Harry hated himself for always ruining everything. He knew he shouldn't have been born, but sometimes life should truly leave him be.   
  
"You are quiet"  Draco whispered, hands on his pockets ever since leaving the lake. Was he afraid Harry was going to try and take his hand again? Was he disgusted?  
  
Of course he was. He was a pure blooded wizard that had collaborated with Voldemort, how could he _not_  be disgusted by something like this?  
Harry tried not to feel like his heart was leaving his chest, and looked at him.  
  
"Sorry, just... I don't have lots to say"  
  
"You keep acting like you're not interesting, maybe you should stop"  
  
"Don't give me the whole hero of the wizarding world shit, Malfoy" Harry didn't want to sound angst-y but he didn't feel exactly great at the moment and the idea of Malfoy seeing him like a _hero_ or just the _golden boy_ hurt.   
  
"I'm not talking about any of that bullshit, Potter. I mean _you,_ you are interesting"  
  
"Ah"  
  
Silence. Harry knew he was ruining the day, ruining everything. He wanted not to feel this. He wanted to be _normal_ again. He wanted to be the boy that saved the world and liked Ginny and would become an Auror. That was supposed to be his story, right?  
  
Harry swallowed, hands aching to touch Draco.  
  
"Thank you"  
  
"'s just the truth, Potter"  
  
The castle was already in view, but neither seemed to want to rush in even if the silence became tense and weird.  
  
Harry was finding it hard to think clearly, he had tried so hard to deny and hide those feelings and now everything was flowing out of himself and it was... it was confusing. And it hurt. And he didn't want it.  
  
"Oh, fuck"  
  
Harry looked at Draco in confusion but then he turned to the Castle and... Oh, fuck.  
  
One of the aurors - the woman- was staring at them with a frown. Had she been waiting until they arrived? Oh, great. Just what he needed. Harry fisted one of his hands trying to dig his fingernails into his palm. Maybe the pain could make things clearer.   
  
"20 points from Gryffindor and Slytherin" Was the first thing she said to them. And, alright, yeah, they deserved that.   
  
"We are 18"  Draco spoke, and maybe he shouldn't speak like that to an Auror? Harry gave him a look. It's not that he wasn't proud -or really loving it- but it was risky. Since when did he care what was or wasn't risky? "We can leave the castle whenever we want to"  
  
Oh, she was pissed.  
  
"Not while being a student, Mr. Malfoy" She gave him a look that would intimidate anyone, but Draco kept his bored expression. This was the Draco he knew, and it made him glad to see him back. Even if he didn't have his wand, or his prestige anymore. "Do I need to remind you that you are on house arrest? I could-"  
  
"He was with me" Harry quickly chimed in, worried this would escalate. The thought of Draco not being allowed a day off was... troubling, and it made Harry angry. Really angry. "Nothing happened"  
  
"Mr. Potter, I would advise you to keep better company"  
  
"Funny" Harry frowned, extremely annoyed. "I remember someone telling me that years ago, and you know what? He was quite wrong. So if you excuse us..."  Harry grabbed at Draco's arm with the whole intention of just leaving, but she didn't move.  
  
"I will be talking to the Headmistress about this"  
  
"Do it" Harry said, and pushed past her with Draco in tow. It felt good.   
  
Oh, it felt so good.  
  
How could they be like that? They had survived a war and they were still traumatized and just trying to have some fun and suddenly they were treated like criminals? Alright, yeah, only Malfoy was being treated like a criminal but that only made him _angrier._ They both had ditched class, but only Draco was the guilty one? No surprise Draco was so uncomfortable around aurors all the time.  
  
Harry thought very highly of them. They were like magic cops, weren't they? Keeping other people safe, making the world a better place. Yeah, well, now he wasn't so sure about it.  
  
"Welcome back, Potter" Draco was smiling and he didn't even have to turn around to see him. Fuck him and his ability to... be in his mind so constantly.  
  
"Yeah well, she had no right"  
  
"Mhm"   
  
They finally stopped at the top of the stairs, Harry had no idea where he had been going.   
  
"See you later?" Draco asked, shrugging very slightly.  
  
"Yeah. Wait! What are we going to do about...?"  
  
"You mean tonight?"  
  
Harry nodded, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to sleep next to Draco now that he was fully aware of his feelings. No, not feelings. His... confusion? This could all be a bit of curiosity and nothing more, right? Something in his head screamed at him that it wasn't. But it could be... right?   
_  
Damn it._  
  
"I have my cloak, I could sneak to your room?"  
  
Draco gave him a look that Harry had no idea how to read, but it made him feel something inside his stomach.   
  
"I... I'd rather go to Gryffindor Tower, Potter"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Trust me?"  
  
"Sure, Malfoy... You are so weird"   
  
Malfoy sneered "So, yes or no, Potter?"  
  
"Yeah, sure. After dinner?"  
  
"Fine"  
  
"You know there's a chance someone is going to see you in the Tower, right?"  
  
Draco seemed to think about it and shrugged "As long as your friends can keep their mouths shut"  
  
"You know they aren't going to go around telling people anything"  
  
"Good" Draco bit down his lip "Because there's nothing to tell, anyway"   
  
"Exactly" Ouch?  
  
"See you, Potter"  
  
And then he was gone. And Harry felt sad. And confused. And what the hell had just happened between them? They had shared a wonderful morning, almost half a day, and now they were weird again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I meant this chapter to be happy and not angst-y but... hey! at least there's some progress? x)


	13. The Maze

He thought about going back to his bedroom, still trying to understand everything that had happened that day _and_ night before. Being raised in a conservative household he never thought he would actually sleep with his head on another boy's chest. Hell, he never thought it would be Harry of all people. He remembered waking up in the middle of the night with the sensation that someone had screamed. He never mentioned it when Harry screamed. Having nightmares was bad enough, Harry didn't need another reminder, so he kept his mouth shut. But last night Harry was awake, and close, and he just... Did what he wanted to do every time he heard him scream: he hugged him. So many nights he had woken up and seen the scars the war left on Harry and done nothing. But not last night.

Falling asleep while spooning was harder than he thought and it took him a while - even after Harry fell asleep again- to stop feeling like butterflies had run over his body. So in that time he thought about the next morning and what they could do. Having a proper date was out of the question because that would mean ask him out and _that_ would mean he'd have to explain his feelings. Instead he simply told Harry they could have a fun morning. Yeah, sure. A morning were he would feel at the edge of a precipice.

Did Harry really want to hold his hand? It had been a soft brush at first and he read that as a sign so he simply took it... What if it had been a mistake? Harry looked surprised but his thumb caressed his skin so it couldn't be bad, could it?

Going back to the Castle he couldn't risk taking his hand, simply couldn't and Harry looked so troubled anyway. Had something gone horribly wrong? Draco feared the only reason Harry hadn't push him away was pity.

Going back to his bedroom would mean thinking the day over and over and possibly crying, so he made his way to the library. It was the worst time to be there, since almost all tables were already taken and he had no one to sit with. When had that stopped a Malfoy, though? With his head held as high as possible he walked towards a table at the far end, the one that was most secluded from the rest of the students.

Studying had been a priority all his life, and it had been put to the side for being around Potter and... He couldn't let that happen. Harry wasn't going to take care of him if he didn't find a suitable job, and having his side lost the war his chances were slim. The ministry was almost ruled out, unless some people there were still loyal to his father. Of course, that would mean _he_ should stay in his father's good graces. And to stay there he should give up an important part of himself. A side he _had_ for the most part, hidden away for years. It was unfair how Harry was bringing it all back now. It made Draco hope and feel ashamed at the same time.

With a sigh, he opened one of his books trying to focus on the black letters without going back to how he kissed his cheek. No, Draco couldn't think about that closeness or he would go mad.

So Charms it was.

After a couple taps on the book, he managed to push down and focus. He knew he was quite smart, but studying to get what you want is part of being a Slytherin too.

Pressing his cheek to one of his hands he started doodling on his notes. He never did something like that. He used to, when they were much younger, but after fourth year that stopped. Draco tried not to think about it too much.

Being at the library was not a good idea and Draco should've been much more aware of his surroundings, if he had been maybe he would've seen a group of people glaring at him and getting more and more angry at his presence with every passing minute.

Maybe if he hadn't been thinking about Harry, or Charms, he would have avoided what was about to unfold.

"The best stance to cast Ep-..." Draco was mumbling while writing his notes down when he saw shadows cast over himself and his book. When he looked up, three fifth year students were glaring at him. Oh. No.

"You need to leave" A girl with her hair on a ponytail said, her hand was hidden away inside her left pocket and Draco suspected she was clutching her wand for dear life.

"I have a right to be here too" Draco said, knowing full well the irony of the moment. Haven't muggle borns been saying that forever? Even while he worked for Voldemort? And now here he was. Maybe this was what he deserved.

"We don't want Death Eaters here"

Draco swallowed, his arm remembering what that horrible pain had been like when it got marked.

"I am just studying" He felt tempted to deny the accusation, but would it even matter?

The other students were growing impatient, angry and clearly upset. Draco didn't hate them. Actually he was sure they had good reason to hate him, and that only made him more angry at himself. Oh, Merlin, would he see himself if he saw a boggart?

"Leave! What's so hard about that? Everyone is upset that you are here, just leave or we will make you leave!"

One of them placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing quite tightly. Draco wanted to get up or move away but the hand was almost pushing him against the chair, which defeated the purpose of telling him to leave.

Fear struck at his stomach and he started closing his books and notes, like a scared cat. It made his cheeks grow slightly pink, how come he was being humiliated like this and couldn't retaliate?

"Fucking pig" The girl said, clearly furious at him "My mom dies and you get to be here?! Everyone should know what you are"

Draco looked up at her, right as she grabbed his left arm and pinned it down to the table, his other arm clutched now by the guy that had a hand on his shoulder.

_No_. True fear struck him as the third one there, a boy that had remained quiet and didn't seem to be completely on board with the situation started to unbutton Draco's left sleeve.

"What are you doing?" Draco tried not to show panic in his voice, but it was inevitable

"They need to see what you are! So they won't forget" The girl was getting impatient at the other boy's hesitance "Just do it! You know it's there. You know what he _is_ "

When they rolled up his sleeve and his white bandage came to view, still hiding away his biggest regret, he started to truly panic.

"Wait, please... Don't"

Draco had been trying to move his arm away, but the girl was strong. Was she the Hufflepuff's beater? He was almost sure he had seen her somewhere.

"Please, stop" The boy didn't look up at him, while his fingers tried to undo the layers of white gauze Draco had tightly placed around his arm.

People were staring, of course, and doing nothing. It reminded him of himself and how he had stood by many situations without doing anything. The memories of muggles and muggle borns being tortured on his house's floor came to mind. In his memories, sometimes aunt Bella was holding the wand, others it was Voldemort or his father. It was rarely himself.

"Please" Draco thought that if he saw it, in this situation, he would probably have a breakdown, or a panic attack, or simply cry to further humiliate himself in front of others. He thought about Harry, and how much he wanted him to be there. But he was probably at the Tower wasn't he?

He closed his eyes when the final layers were about to be removed, before being able to see any of the ink. The Mark had faded slightly after Voldemort had died but it was still there, extremely noticeable on his fair skin.

"What is this?!" A strong voice came from behind him and a spell must have been used because the other students were pushed away. Draco opened his eyes and quickly covered his arm again. They hadn't exposed the... _Thing_ completely so he ignored the small bits that were showing as much as possible.

Auror Bell was right there, he was a young man with an ugly scar on his neck. He had no idea how he had gotten that but... Being an Auror is probably all about scars, is it not? Draco realized he didn't want Harry to be exposed to so much danger. Not now that they had something good.

"You three, go see the Headmistress. NOW" The two boys and the girl glared at both of them, before walking away from the table.

"Thank you" Draco looked at him, trying to regain his composure.

"It's okay, Draco, people are hurt"

"I know"

Bell seemed a bit surprised at his words "My family was pure blood just like yours, it can be hard"

Alright, it was nice to see someone working at the ministry that had a family 'just like him'. In his social circles those were cues for 'they also worked for _you-know-who'_.

"It is"

"Listen, you are a kid. Alright?" How old was this Auror anyway? Draco only gave him four or five years more than himself "What your parents did... Or what you did will go away" Yeah, right. _People don't come back from the dead_ , is what Draco wanted to say but he said nothing. "People will heal and everyone will have a good life. Okay? But for now on, avoid crowded spaces. Yes?"

Draco nodded, quickly putting all his books inside his bag "Don't have to tell me twice"

"If you wish to talk to the Headmistress I am sure she will be willing to let you talk to your parents"

If Draco had considered talking to McGonagall the idea of her calling Lucius made his stomach turn. "No, thank you. I don't want to escalate this. It was just... It was nothing"

Bell seemed pleased with himself, nodding and moving away from his table so he could get up and leave. Draco was definitely going to avoid dinner at the Great Hall. Which probably meant he was going to miss his chance to sneak with Harry to Gryffindor Tower, which meant he was going to sleep alone. After what had happened, he so wanted to be held. Even if it was wrong, even if he shouldn't want that. Men should want to hold others, right? Preferably women. They shouldn't want to be held, right? Well, Draco had never felt quite like the others anyway.

*

Noah had seen everything happen from his own table at the Library. And he had done nothing. He had wanted to, but ever since third year he had tried to keep to himself and don't be noticed too much. He was proud of finally looking like he felt since forever but _some_ people at the school were really close minded. It was weird how Elliot wasn't like that. They had become friends during a really hard time in his life and Elliot never said anything stupid.

If he felt safe he probably would have tried to help Malfoy. He had nothing against the older boy, yes, he knew he was a Death Eater and he knew they had done terrible things. But as far as he knew the worst thing Malfoy had done was getting other death eaters into Hogwarts. Noah was sure they would have found a way regardless of who helped them. So he couldn't hate Draco.

With everything that had happened he couldn't risk it. Not for someone that was a stranger. For Elliot? Or Bea? Maybe.

Noah could still do something though, so he got up from the library and quickly made his way to the Castle Grounds. He was almost sure he had seen Harry Potter's friends out there. He had no clue what they were doing.

It was truly sad that Elliot had left the Library before Malfoy even got there because if he had been there Noah would have told him to do something. And Elliot would have listened to him, even if he hated Malfoy. He would have stopped what was happening before that auror got involved.

Noah wanted to stop thinking about Bea. It was obvious that she wasn't interested, and he was sure she didn't even think about him. Ever.

He hoped that focusing on finding out who hurt Elliot would be enough to forget about her.

"Granger?" He asked, walking towards the brown haired girl. Christ, her hair was incredibly messy. It was clear she had managed to calm it down, but it was still... wow. He identified her because she was right next to Ron.

"Oh, hi. Uhm, you are...?"   
  
"Noah, a friend of Elliot's. Uhm, Harry and Draco talked to us about what you are doing. The investigation"  
  
Harry Potter's friends shared a look and then stared at him. It was a bit creepy how they understood each other. Noah wondered if he and Elliot looked like that sometimes.  
  
"Yes, Harry told us he was going to... but we haven't gotten a chance to talk to him"  
  
"I think he's at the Tower now"  Ron said, shrugging but it was clear they were trying to leave Harry alone. Or maybe Harry was avoiding them. Or... something. Noah had no time for other people's drama.  
  
"Yeah, right. So... can you tell him something?"   
  
"What happened?" Hermione was looking at him in an unnerving way "Is Elliot alright? do you know anything about the attacks?"  
  
"Elliot is fine, and no I don't. Well, not yet. It has nothing to do with him"  
  
"Oh, well, what's wrong?"  
  
"Something happened at the library, with Draco. I think Harry would like to know"  
  
"Of course he would like to fucking know" Ron mumbled, looking clearly upset and crossing his arms. His girlfriend gave him a look but he didn't say anything else.   
  
"We will let him know, Noah, thank you"  
  
"Yeah, it's fine"  Noah pressed his lips together. He had been there and done nothing and that was... it was something he wasn't sure he could forgive himself. He always thought he would stop bullying or something like that.   
  
"Surely Malfoy caused the situation" Weasley said, but his tone was almost a question.  
  
"No, not really" Noah looked at him "He was... minding his own business really. They tried to uncover his dark mark"  
  
Hermione tensed up very clearly and nodded "We will let him know... but I don't think Malfoy would like us knowing this"   
  
"Well, it happened in front of everyone" Noah frowned, had he messed up? "Anyway, see you around"

Noah grabbed his bag with both hands before walking away from them. It was weird talking to people he didn't know about problems he had no idea about. Either way, he felt like he had done something good. At least this time.

  
*

"We shouldn't tell him, 'mione" Ron said, walking hand in hand with her back towards the Tower. It was better if they kept quiet, otherwise their friend would go ballistic like last time.  
  
"You know he wants to know, Ron. We can't keep it from him"  She smiled, her thumb was stroking the back of his hand and it made him feel like the king of the whole world. He smiled back.  
  
"Alright. But if he gets mad or something it's your fault"  
  
She rolled her eyes and told the password to the Lady. The portrait opened showing the door to them. It was good being back at the Tower. Ron didn't like school much -and to be honest a madman had tried to kill him and his best friend for most of his time there- but being at the Castle was slightly better than being back home and missing Fred all the time.   
  
The common room was warm and quite deserted. Hm. Well, it was their second day back from the holidays so surely everyone was catching up and studying or something.   
  
Ron half hoped not to find Harry -they hadn't seen him since... woah, a while- but there he was, asleep on the sofa in front of the fireplace. Hermione let go of his hand - _why_?- and went to sit next to him, touching his hair and then his shoulder. He wasn't jealous anymore. Well, maybe a little bit, but he knew Hermione loved him and Harry was not interested in her. Good.    
  
"Wh-... What?" Harry blinked looking startled, his hands trying to fix his glasses.   
  
"Hey, we haven't seen you in forever"  
  
"Sorry"  Harry looked around and smiled when he found Ron "I was... uh, busy"   
  
"Hm, with Malfoy?" Ron didn't want to sound jealous or anything, but he was a bit angry. He sat in front of them, and gave him a look.  
  
"Yeah" There was a small silence. "I know I have been a bit... off lately"  Harry shrugged "I'm not trying to be difficult, it's just... It's all..."   
  
"We know" Hermione nodded, but Ron wasn't sure what she meant. "It's okay, Harry"  
  
"No, it's not. But thank you, Hermione"  
  
"Did you sleep at all last night, mate?"  
  
"Yeah, I did... I... I got really tired today, that's all"   
  
"Why?"

Harry opened his mouth and closed it again, his eyes focusing on the wall behind Ron's head. What was he hiding?  
  
"I went to Hogsmeade"   
  
"Oi, you should have told us! Been wanting to ditch class since for-... ow! 'mione!"   
  
"We are _not_ missing class, Ron" She kept looking at Harry "Did you go alone?"  
  
Oh. Ron frowned looking back at Harry. What? Had he gone with _Malfoy_? What the fuck?  
  
"Mate?"  
  
"No. I went with Draco"  
  
" _Draco?_ "  
  
"Ron, back off"  He frowned looking at him "Look, I know what you all think and that's fine. I just... He _gets_ it, okay?"  
  
"No, he doesn't"  
  
"Ron"  
  
"No, Hermione. No. He..." Ron said, closing his eyes for a moment. "Has he really changed, Harry? Like... _really_ changed?"  
  
Harry looked at him and shrugged "Yeah, he's quite alright. Maybe next time we could all go"  
  
Hermione smiled but her face showed exactly how little she thought that was going to happen "Sure, Harry"  
  
A long pause, Harry groaned causing them both to chuckle and break the awkward silence. They could all disagree about his friendship with Malfoy _but_ they had survived a war, they could relax for a little bit. Hell, Ron wanted to go back to those days when who they were friends with was the most pressing matter. Hm. Simpler days.

"So..."   
  
Harry raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? If you are all going to keep asking me about Malfoy I am going to go to bed"  
  
"Harry it's only six"   
  
"Well it's getting dark, isn't it?"  
  
"You got it, mate" They high fived, causing Hermione to groan and roll her eyes.   
  
"Harry, something happened"   
  
Harry stopped smiling and focused on her. Great, thought Ron, now he was going to get stressed. Really, Harry was going to get a heart attack one of these days.   
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Well, Noah found us and told us that-"  
  
"Is Elliot alright?"  
  
"Yes. Noah told us he was at the library and-"  
  
"Noah or Elliot?"  
  
"Can you please let me finish, Harry?" She frowned and Harry pressed his lips together, looking back at her. "Noah told us he was at the library, alone, and saw an... altercation"   
  
Ron looked at Hermione, knowing she had to be more specific than that. It was surprising how patient Harry was being. Almost one minute without asking more details.  
  
"It involved Malfoy, mate"   
  
"Oh, fuck" Harry cursed, running a hand across his face "What happened? I leave for just a moment and..."   
  
"Apparently people tried to uncover his... mark" Ron saw how Hermione touched the place where Bellatrix had hurt her. He moved to the couch next to her and placed a hand on her lower back. It was hard not to remember the war. Or the way she had screamed. How could Harry forget and go be friends with _him_?  
  
"Shit"  
  
"One of the aurors helped him, it's fine" Ron said, pulling Hermione close "I'm sure he forgot about it already"

Harry gave him a look. "I'm going to go find him... and..." He looked at them for a brief moment "I'm going to bring him here for the night, so please don't give me or him a hard time and just... don't say a word about it to anyone. Alright?"

They were both a bit shocked but Harry was already getting up and probably going to find his map or his cloak -or maybe both- and neither could understand what had just happened. Malfoy was going to be sleeping at the Tower? Yeah, how about _no?  
_  
Hermione didn't seem upset about it, yeah, probably because she was going to be safe inside the girl's room while he was going to be right next to Malfoy. Merlin. Was Harry going to _share_ his bed? This was all so weird.

Ron tried to say something, but Harry had already gone to his room.  
  
"Did you... hear him?"  
  
"I think we should support him, Ron"  
  
"Am I _not_ supporting him? What is he doing bringing him to our... place?"  
  
"You are just scared Malfoy is going to kill you in your sleep"   
  
"I'm not scared" He smiled, tickling her sides and making her laugh. Alright, maybe everything was fine when she smiled like that. "I just... think it's weird"  
  
"Hm. It's weird but if it's good for Harry... Once this year is over they are not going to see each other anymore. Just... let them be?"  
  
Ron sighed and nodded, hugging her.

*

_Once this year is over they are not going to see each other anymore. Just... let them be._

Harry couldn't get that phrase out of his mind. His friends hadn't seen him in the room -thanks to his cloak- and he knew he should've said something and let them know he was listening in their conversation but... he couldn't. Not when he realized they were talking about them. How would his friends take the idea of him _liking_ Draco? Shit, they were not going to like it, huh?

  
Harry tried to push past that, to focus on the task at hand. That had always worked for him.

  
The map showed Malfoy sitting alone at a corridor. It wasn't odd, but Harry almost hoped to see him with someone after what had happened at the library. Worry was the one thing inside of his chest, worry that maybe the incident hadn't been what Noah described, that it had been worse. What if Draco was truly hurt? Or ashamed, or worse. He had no clue why other people needed to hurt Malfoy like that. Being mad? Yeah, he had been pretty mad before -and he had been pretty bad at Malfoy too- but never enough to be cruel. Not like that.

The map showed people walking all over Hogwarts, but no one around Draco. Was that a good thing or a bad thing? Harry walked faster, avoiding groups of people and trying not to push past anyone. Being under the invisibility cloak felt amazing, he was capable of moving around without being seen, without being bothered. Sometimes he worried he would end up using it too much.

When he looked down to his map again, he noticed a particular meeting happening inside an old classroom. Three aurors were there, all gathered up. Harry felt curiosity and his gut told him to go there, immediately, but that would mean leaving Draco alone and... No. One thing at a time.

After turning a corner he saw the blonde almost white-ish hair. Draco was sitting very calmly on a bench, with an open book on his lap and a small frown on his face. He looked so beautiful. Harry was almost struck by it. Being under the cloak, he took a moment to just... _stare._ It was odd finding another boy attractive, and a small part of himself wondered if it was because maybe Draco's features were a bit more feminine. No, it really wasn't that. He could see Draco was a boy, from his jaw line to his shoulders and his chest and...

Harry felt a bit overwhelmed at his own thoughts. This had _never_ happened! Why was it happening now?

Remembering the odd meeting he wanted to spy on he finally moved towards the boy.

"Don't be scared, it's me" Harry said looking around before uncovering his head.

Draco didn't even flinch, he looked up with a bored expressing, his frown gone.

"Did something happen?"

" _Did something happen."_ Harry folded the cloak and sat next to him "Yeah, it did. Are you okay?"

Malfoy seemed confused for a moment, and then he groaned "Can we not talk about that? I'm perfectly fine"

Harry wanted to say he wasn't so sure about that, but only nodded. He remembered all the times other people had told him he wasn't actually okay and yeah, it sucked.

"Well, I figured you were going to miss dinner"

"Oh, really?" Draco was looking back into his book, a small smirk on his face. Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to shake him or kiss him.

"Yeah, really. Am I wrong?" Silence "So, wanna go to the Tower with me? I brought the cloak and the guys aren't going to say anything, promise"

"I don't think it's a good idea. Not after what happened"

"I think it's a great idea"

Draco looked up again, right into his eyes. How could his eyes be so grey? It made no fucking sense. People weren't supposed to have eyes like that. Harry smiled.

"Let's go? You can do your homework at the Tower, it's not so horrible in there you know?"

"Hm. Never been there"

"Well let's change that. I have been in your common room, so... let's make it even" Harry got up and covered his body with the cloak, waiting for Draco.

The other boy closed his book and placed it inside his bag incredibly slowly, giving him distrustful looks before getting up and tugging softly at the cloak's fabric.

  
Harry moved the cloak to cover both of them and oh, yeah, they were really close. Shit.

"There's somewhere I want to go first"

"Ah, Merlin, I knew it" Draco groaned "You had that look"

"What? What look?"

"Nevermind. Where are we going, Potter?"

Harry didn't want to show him the map, it's not that he didn't trust Draco it's just that the map was still something... personal. It was weird just opening up that much to someone. Even if he wanted to.

"The aurors are having a small meeting and I want to know what they are saying"

  
"Why?" Harry didn't answer "The investigation? Potter, maybe it's better if we let it rest. There has been no attacks, nothing had happened. It was most likely a bitter student or something and now it's done"

"Do you really believe that?"

Silence.

Harry kept walking up the stairs, he remembered exactly where the aurors were so he didn't have to pull open the map or anything. Draco didn't ask how he knew where to go and Harry wondered if the boy knew about his little tool.

"I truly think we shouldn't..."

  
"Quiet" Harry barely raised his wand, just in case, as they stepped closer to the room. The door wasn't completely shut which made Harry believe the reunion couldn't be all that important. Alright, maybe he was exaggerating?

Draco, even as he was clearly opposed at the idea of eavesdropping, had now pressed himself against Harry to be closer to the door. Harry realized how brilliant that idea had been just by having Draco so close to his body.

_"It's been only a couple of days, we can't be sure there isn't anything strange going on"_ Harry tried to see who it was but he thought his voice seemed familiar. The man was walking across the room and Harry could almost see his face... Yes, he had been in McGonagall's office. Auror Sheppard?

  
_"This school has no discipline"_ Oh, he recognized that voice. It was the auror that had found them coming back from Hogsmeade. She was... She wasn't the best one of the bunch. _"I found two students sneaking out without anyone realizing it. And you can all guess which students it was"_

_  
_ Sheppard stopped walking for a moment and gave a look to where she was. _"Sneaking out and attacking students are two very different things, Jane. I think we all need to relax and take care of the students. If nothing happens the better. We need to find proof about whoever did those attacks. Alright? That's our job. Collect evidence, try to find witnesses. We are not here to do a full Hogwarts evaluation"  
  
"You are soft on this place because you attended here"   
__  
"Oh, come on"_ Another voice said, it was a male voice but Harry couldn't see him. Draco moved a bit next to him. Did he know who it was? Shit he wanted to ask him, but speaking would probably expose them. " _If we were to go extremely hard on every single Wizarding school we... we would probably have to close all of them **"**_ He sounded young, and happy.   
  
_"What about what we found on the seventh floor?"_ She spoke again, his voice a bit sharper. Sheppard had stopped walking around and was now frowning. Harry could see him clearly from the little gap on the door. _  
  
"No one should go up there alone. I will talk with Minerva about this"   
  
_ Sheppard was clearly the leader of the group. Harry didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing, but he was glad it wasn't that woman. __  
  
"I am telling you something is going on in here and you are choosing to ignore this!"  
  
"No one is ignoring anything, Jane. We are doing our jobs"   
  
Someone moved behind the door and Harry quickly grabbed Draco by the arm pulling him away from the door. The woman opened the door with a frown on her face, looking incredibly angry. She seemed hurt, but Harry truly disliked her.

Draco pulled at his shirt, clearly stressed that they were still in the hallway and could be found. And he was right. Harry nodded to let him know he had realized this.

They both quickly walked away from the room and the other auror, trying to process what they had heard. The aurors had found nothing about the attacks -which was worrying- but they had found something odd on the seventh floor.

Harry felt a rush of adrenaline coursing through his veins and he really tried not to feel good about it, but he couldn't. Alright. Seventh floor it was.

"No"

"We have to" Harry looked at him once they were near the staircases again.

"No. No, we don't have to"

Draco seemed on edge and Harry didn't want to make him angrier but... he had to push. He had to go up there and see what was going on.

"It's important. They clearly think it's worth checking out"

" _THEY_ are trained aurors, Potter!"  
  
"I thought you didn't trust them"  
  
"I fucking hate you sometimes, you know?" Draco gave him an ugly look, pulling the cloak off his body and moving away from Harry. He was having none of it.

" _Draco_ , please" Harry said, grabbing at his arm and pulling him softly. The cloak was laying at their feet but there was no one around anyway. Was it dinner time already?

"No, don't... don't" Draco closed his eyes for a moment, looking clearly affected. Harry wasn't stupid, he knew what was on the seventh floor. He knew what had happened there.

"We have to... It could help clear your name and put an end to this"

"To what? Nothing is going on anymore! We should go to the Tower and forget about it. _Please_ "

"I won't let anything happen to you"

Draco clenched his teeth, looking at Harry's eyes. Softly but surely he nodded, his whole body tense and ready to run at the first opportunity. Harry didn't expect him to be brave, but he wanted someone to cover his back if anything went wrong.

"Let's go. It's just a couple floors up and... we are just going to check what it is. Surely it's not inside the Room anyway"

"It's always something inside the Room of Requirement, Harry"

_Harry. Harry. Harry._

He heard nothing more after that.

*

They both knew something was wrong the moment they made it to the seventh floor. Not only it felt strange but the Room of Requirement's door was... right there. They didn't need to walk in front of it three times or wish for anything, the door was right _there_.

And that could not be a good thing.

Draco almost had another fit right there, but Harry managed to push open the door and drag him inside without fighting. Deep down, Harry knew he was being horrible by pushing Draco to go back in there. But everyone had to do things they didn't want. Harry had had to deal with stuff he never wanted all his life. And this was... for a good cause. Wasn't it?

The old room was so silent it was eerie. The door had closed behind them which was... worrying. Long rows of bookcases lined the walls and created hallways as complex as a small maze. There were some empty corners and holes where the room was clearly too burnt to ever work again.  

The whole place seemed like a huge intricate library. A wicked one.

"Lumos" now that there was some light, Draco started walking towards one of the bookshelves, his slender fingers touching the back of one of the books. Harry couldn't see if it said something on the cover, since it was all black. Hell, all of them were black. This felt wrong. Terribly wrong.

"What does it say?"

"It's... A history book"

Harry was too busy looking around in case something might jump at them to focus on Draco's words.

"About what history?"

"The Aurors' history"

Harry still felt something was looking at them, looming in the darkness. He didn't like it.

"Yeah, so?"

Harry wasn't looking, but he heard a small "mh" from Draco and more books being pulled.

"They are all the same"

"Why do you think that is?" Slowly but surely Harry made sure to be in the perfect position to defend Draco if he had to. It was weird being this worried and scared and exhilarated at the same time. Maybe it was in his blood to become an auror...

"I am not s-..."

Before Draco could finish his sentence, the books started to fall. But they weren't just falling from the shelves, they were being thrown at them with such force it would leave bruises on their skins. Harry tried to cover himself with his hands at first, before creating a magic shield around them. The books tried to break it but failed.

What the hell? The books stopped falling after a few minutes of having the magic shield up. Thank Merlin.

"I think we need to leave, Potter"

"Yeah, you think?" Harry looked around. The room had never hurt anyone. Why was it doing it now? "Let's find the door again"

"It's not there anymore?" Draco looked behind them and... the door definitely wasn't there. A brick wall stood instead, empty. Oh, why? In front of them the rows of books went on and on and the maze became a scary thing. "This was a terrible idea, Potter. One of your worst"

"Are you sure? I've had a lot of bad ideas"

"I am sure, this one involves _me._ I can't believe you convinced me"

"Can you stop? You wanted to come here too, otherwise you wouldn't have entered the Room at all. I know you"

There was a small silence and Draco started walking towards the entrance of the 'maze', his steps were strong but he seemed incredibly small next to the bookcases. "Come on, Potter, light the way, will you?"

"What makes you think the way out is on the other side?"

"That's how mazes usually work, yes? The Room is not without logic"

He was right, and Harry knew it. They started walking slowly through the first row of bookcases, trying to find their way through the maze. Draco was pulling books from strategic places. Leaving marks in case they got lost? Smart.

The bookcases were so tall they couldn't see where the hallways lead, they had no way of knowing if there was a way out or if they were going the right way.

Harry wasn't completely daft, he knew the amount of strength Draco had to have to be in there again after what had happened.

"Thank you"  
  
"For risking my life? Yeah, Potter, you are welcome" He said, not looking back, walking forward.  
  
"I know it's hard being here"

"Yeah it IS hard!" Draco turned around on his heels, forcing Harry to stop dead in his tracks. "It's bloody hard, Potter, and I don't like it. I almost hate you for making me come here"

Harry swallowed feeling guilty "I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have. I... I just..."

There was a long silence between them where they only stared into the other's eyes. It was odd, being this intimate with him.

"I don't... hate you. I'm just... I can still smell the smoke, Harry"

"I know" Harry moved closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. He so wanted to pull him in and hug him. He _so_  wanted that.

"Let's keep going. I'm sure we'll be out of here and... we will make it back to the Tower"

A small chuckle, and then a shared smile. The Room of Requirement was supposed to give you what you wished for, right? Harry had no idea why it had given them a huge library... The word 'maze' came to his mind, but Harry tried with all of his strength not to think about the last time he had been inside one.

Suddenly the air decided not to go inside his lungs. He was inside a maze again. A dark maze. He was in a maze with another boy. Two of them, again.

Would only one of them get out?

Harry felt his heart beat loudly inside his chest, pounding at his ribs as if trying to get out while his throat became tighter and tighter. He felt dizzy and had to close his eyes for a moment, the hand holding his wand shaking softly.

_No, not again. Please, no._

"Harry?"

He was unable to hear, his head heavy with fear. Harry had died before, but his mind was screaming at him, saying that he was going to die right then and there if he didn't try and breathe harder. But he didn't feel any air inside his lungs.

"Harry, it's alright" Draco was next to him, taking the wand off his hand and making him sit on the floor with his back against a bookcase. "Nothing is happening, it's just... a panic attack"

Harry looked at him, trying to focus on his grey eyes and not on their surroundings. Everything looked so menacing...

"I... I can't... I can't... b-breathe" He pulled at his own tie, trying to feel his neck.

"That's just your mind, try to relax... I'm right here" Draco sat next to him, placing a hand on his chest "Breathe with me" He said, proceeding to breathe very loudly as if he was teaching him.

"I c-can't"

"Yes, you can. You will be fine"

Harry closed his eyes but his hand found his way to Draco's. He held it tightly over his chest, trying to find his way back to the living. Panic attacks were never fun, but this one was... worse.

It wasn't only the panic attack, it was the memory. He remembered going through that maze with Cedric, he remembered that night in vivid detail. He remembered the soft dew and the dampness in the air, he remembered walking with wand in hand and not knowing if something bad was going to happen.

He had been 14 years old. He never thought that Cedric would...

"I'm sorry" Harry whispered, his voice hoarse. He could breathe again, but there was a heavy weight on his stomach that would never go away. "It's just..."

"Don't be sorry" Draco didn't move from next to him, holding his hand and looking at him. There was no pity in his eyes, just concern. Harry felt... glad to have him there.

"I'm sorry" He didn't know if he was saying sorry to Draco or to Cedric's memory.

"Can you walk?"

Harry nodded after a few moments, letting go of Draco's hand "Yeah, I can. I... it won't happen again" He pushed up and grabbed his wand again.

"It's okay if it happens again" Draco's voice was but a whisper, standing right next to him.

"Let's find the way out, please"

Harry took two deep breaths and started walking through the hallway, it was strange being surrounded by a room that felt so alive. The path ahead opened up to the sides and Harry decided for the both of them: they would go left.

Draco didn't seem to mind, walking right behind him and looking around.

"Why do you think it's a library?"

"This is not a library"

"It's filled with books, Draco, of course it's a library"

"No. It's filled with the same book, this is not a library" Draco pulled some more books and let them fall to the ground, leaving breadcrumbs for them.

"The Room is supposed to give you what you want"

"No, it's supposed to give you what you need... I think it's broken. We hurt it"

"You talk about it as if it's alive"

"It probably is"

Harry frowned, it was incredibly odd to hear Draco say something like that. He had no clue why, but it was weird.

"So the Room is hurt and it's punishing us?"

"Of course not, Potter. I still think it's giving us what we need, in its own way... " Draco allowed his fingers to touch the rows of books while they walked "You know, when I used the Room... it let me do what I had to do, even if it was... a terrible thing. It didn't punish me then. Why would it punish us now? The only explanation for this is that it's hurt and it is not working properly. Or the magic is corrupt"

Harry nodded taking a turn right and finding a dead end. Shit. They backtracked and took the right way this time, walking faster.

"You would be a good auror, Malfoy"

"Probably"

"Jerk"

Draco chuckled and he felt much more relaxed. Thinking that the Room didn't want to murder them also made things easier.

After walking for a long time, through long corridors made of bookcases and filled with silence they both saw the end of the maze. It opened just as easily and it showed the door, right there. They both released a sigh of relief, before hurrying towards the old oak door.

"For a moment I thought we weren't getting out, Potter" He admitted when the rows of books were behind them.

"Yeah... me too"

The moment Harry reached out for the door, strong iron chains appeared from the walls and created an 'x' over it, keeping them locked inside. _What?_

Harry was about to cast a spell when the floor started to shake. The bookcases behind them had started to fall, each and every one of them, falling one on top of the other and making terrible sounds. If Harry tried he was almost sure he could hear screaming. He tried not to focus too much.

They both walked backwards towards the door, pressing themselves against the wall to avoid the falling debris and the dust.

Alright, maybe the Room _wanted_ to murder them. Great.

"Any ideas?"

Draco shook his head, clearly terrified "Maybe it will stop on its own!"

"Are you sure?!"

"No!"

But it did stop. It stopped for about one minute, before it turned into something much, much worse.

The bookcases started to melt into one another, creating something new. The wood turned into a dark liquid -more like a goo really- that started to twitch and move rapidly all over itself. Harry wanted not to look, the grip on his wand extremely tight. Neither of them said anything, their backs to the door and their eyes fixated on... The thing.

It would have been much better if it had stayed as a shapeless mass, but it didn't. Slowly but surely it took form of something they both vaguely remembered.

"No. It's impossible" Draco spoke as if someone had kicked his chest. In front of them was one of Hagrid's Blast-ended skrewts, they had seen them during their fourth year. And they had been much smaller than the one they had in front of them. This one was probably an adult. A horrible creature with long sword-like legs. It had no face, no eyes, just a gaping hole filled with fire

On its other end it had a sting, long and sharp enough to kill anyone.

"No, it's impossible!" Draco repeated, more angry this time "It... The room can't"

"Shut up" Harry whispered, hearing the horrible sound the claws of that thing did on the floor as it started walking towards them. Spells would do nothing against its thick  shell. Shit.

The creature lunged at them and almost as if they had practiced it both Draco and Harry ran in opposite directions. It was a nice strategy, of course, if the thing wanted to go after one of them, it would leave the other one open for an attack.

But of course, they had no luck. The stupid thing decided to go after Malfoy.

"Draco!" Harry screamed, throwing his wand to the other side and Draco caught it in the air. Thank God they were both seekers.

A couple spells bounced on the thing's shell, vanishing in the air without even making a scratch. This was bad. And Harry had no wand at the moment.

"HEY, you STUPID thing" Harry screamed, trying to take the attention of the creature away from Draco.  It's not that he didn't trust Draco's abilities, he just didn't want to see him hurt.

The "head" of the skrewt turned around trying to follow the sound -did it have ears? Harry didn't want to know- and its razor like legs moved quickly over the wooden floor. It was definitely trying to kill them.

"Potter!" Draco threw the wand across the floor to him, it was a risky thing to do but the creature didn't seem smart enough to try and stop the wand from reaching him.

_"Bombarda_ " Harry tried. The thing was pushed back only for a few seconds, looking incredibly angry after. Great. Its shell was still intact and Harry had no idea what to do with something like that. Was it even alive?

Everything happened too fast after that. Harry felt one of the creatures legs touch his side and push him across the room. It hurt like all hells. His back hit a wall and he fell to the ground without really being able to move for a couple seconds. He thought he was going to die. Those two -three? four?- seconds he laid there trying to catch his breath he was convinced it was the end. The creature could simply stab him with one of its legs or breathe fire of whatever it did and he would be done.

But he didn't die.

Harry looked up, trying to understand what was going on but what he found was a really angry _thing_ being attacked by Draco. Well, not _attacked_ , it was more like Draco was throwing some left over books to it to try and distract it. Thank Merlin.

"Potter, your wand" His voice was much more calm and collected, but Harry could tell that was only masking his true horror.

Shit. Where did he have his wand? He looked around, worried that if he took too long the creature would hurt Draco. Luckily the wand was right there, just in arms reach. Without thinking about his side and not wanting to look if he was truly hurt, he threw his wand to the other boy.

"It's not alive" Draco said, standing straight and looking at the thing "Nothing will truly hurt it"

"What are you doing?" Harry whispered, alarmed.

The skrewt focused on Draco, moving its two front legs up and ready to jump at him. Harry almost couldn't look. But something he had learned was that if someone was going to die for him - _because_ of him- the least he could do was watch it happen.

Cedric came to mind again. Back then he had never seen death first hand. Not that he remembered. _Cedric._

"It's not alive!" Draco repeated as if that would explain anything, allowing himself to be in an incredibly dangerous position "Get ready to run"

Harry kneeled and slowly got up, a hand to his side but it felt dry, so no blood. That was good. Probably a good bruise and nothing more. He could deal with that.

" _Revelio!_ " Draco spoke calmly when the creature was ready to pounce at him, pointing at his belly that lacked any sort of shell. It was one of the smartest moves he had ever seen, and done with incredible calmness.

Draco's eyes widened for a moment, and he quickly backed away from the thing. It was starting to shift in mid air, looking as something caught in mid-transfiguration. Something not quite alive but not dead either. It was horrifying and Harry wished he had not seen it.

"Run!" Draco spoke rushing towards the door, clearly annoyed at the chains that still blocked their way " _Alohomora_ " He spoke, but the chains only moved. " _Alohomora_ you stupid _shit_ "

"Hurry, Draco" It wasn't good that the _creature_ was no longer a creature but black shiny goo again. It would only be a matter of time before the room decided on another punishment.

"Oh, of course. I'm stupid" Malfoy muttered " _Finite Incantatem_ "

And simply like that the chains fell to the ground and both of them pushed the doors open, running outside of the room without looking back one. Nothing made sense to Harry. Why had the Room done that? They definitely didn't need nor want a fight with a magical creature, and locking them in? The worst part of all was... how come a simple counter spell was enough to disarm a magical ancient room?

It was all extremely confusing, but his head was somewhere else. Actually, he was completely focused on Draco. And Draco was only focused on him.

Once outside, Draco's hands were all over. Almost literally. The slytherin tried to pull up his shirt and try to see his side, clearly distressed.

"Draco, I'm fine. Draco... Draco, stop!" That got Malfoy to look at him, his hands still grabbing the shirt but without trying to pull it up. "I'm fine... I'm okay"

"It hit you and... you fell" He swallowed, without moving away.

"Yes, and you were brilliant"

Harry grabbed his face between both his hands, smiling and trying to calm himself. The adrenaline was still running through his veins, pumping blood all over his body and making his head not think straight.

"I'm okay... we are okay" He repeated, and Draco kept nodding, one of his hands on one of Harry's wrists, the other one still clutching his shirt.

Harry never in a million years imagined doing this, but he moved forward and pressed his lips to Draco's. It was a simple kiss because he was a simple man and his heart was still beating way too fast to be safe.

Malfoy jumped back, almost as if he had been hurt or burnt and Harry felt an immense wave of shame and regret. Had this changed things? Of course it had. Harry wasn't stupid. Or maybe he was. Fuck. _Fuck, fuck, fuck._

Draco blinked, and before anyone could say anything his hands grabbed at the invisibility cloak that was half tucked inside of one of Harry's pockets, covering both of them with it.

And then Harry could not believe what was happening. Draco was pressed against him, his hands on his neck and they were kissing. And it was nothing like the kisses he had given Cho or Ginny. This was entirely different. Draco's lips were thin and incredibly soft, sweet tasting. Being this close and personal allowed him to feel his roughness, and all the little differences between a boy and a girl. And oh, yeah, Harry was doomed.

Harry placed his hands on Draco's hips trying to keep himself steady while his mind felt dizzy. He never wanted to let go. He didn't want to stop kissing him, not when it felt like this, not when it made something _nice_ run through his whole body.

But Draco did, he pulled away without moving much -his breathing was shallow and his lips were swollen. Wow, did Harry do that? It made him want to kiss him even more.

"We should go" Draco's voice was hoarse, and... it also _did things_ to Harry. "I don't want to be anywhere near this Room ever again"

Harry chuckled "Me neither... We should, uh, the Tower..."

"Well, yes" Draco was teasing him again. Harry felt incredibly giddy and relaxed. They could talk about everything later.

Did this mean they were boyfriends? Oh, fuck. Harry wasn't sure he was ready for that. His hands started to sweat as they walked towards Gryffindor Tower, his mind on his friends and everyone that knew them and... Maybe kissing him had been an impulse reaction.

Maybe this, maybe that. The one thing he really knew was that every time he got a glimpse of Draco he wanted to do it all over again.

Sadly Draco didn't show any signs of wanting to kiss him, he was just walking next to him -and still under the cloak- with a small frown on his face. Harry almost hated how good he was at concealing his emotions. And yeah, Harry knew him quite a lot but he had no clue how he was with... relationships? Did this mean Draco liked boys? He had so many questions and so little answers.

"Potter, the password?" Harry blinked, looking at the Lady's portrait. Right. The Tower. Friends.

He told the lady the password, and then they both hurried inside. Draco frowned and looked around with a disgusted expression.

"Not to your liking?" He whispered as they made their way to the bedrooms, trying to avoid the other students inside the common room.

"How can you sleep with so much _red_ around? or study?"

"You get used to it" Harry smiled, he was happy. Shit, he was happy _because_ of the kiss. And he had almost died moments before! _Fuck._ "Besides, it's not that bad"

"If you say so"

Draco went silent once they reached the bedroom, and it probably was because they weren't alone. Ron and Hermione were sitting on Ron's bed, talking calmly about something Harry had no clue. Shit, he really needed to spend more time with them.

Harry pulled the cloak off his body and Draco's and his friends looked startled for a moment.

"How are you here, Hermione?" Harry frowned "this is the boy's room"

"I have my ways" She smiled and Harry decided to let it go because if someone could break the rules without being detected it was Hermione. She had changed so much. Sometimes he wondered if she would still be that rule following smart kid if nothing bad had happened to them.

"What... happened to both of you?" Ron was frowning and looking at them. Was something amiss? Did they...? Could they tell they had been kissing? Oh. No. No, no, no.

"Room of Requirement" Draco said before sitting on the bed he assumed was Harry's -he was correct.

Hermione looked clearly concerned and intrigued, giving Harry a look before turning to Draco again. "What happened in there?"

"It tried to kill us"

"It didn't try to kill us, Potter"

"Well then you explain it!" Harry shrugged sitting next to him, with a small frown.

Everyone's eyes were on Draco and it clearly made him a bit self conscious but he didn't allow that to stop him.

"The Room of Requirement is not working correctly. I think it was trying to help us, maybe guide us but it... malfunctioned"

Harry rolled his eyes "It almost killed us"

"Almost"

Ron shook his head "We are never going to get one peaceful year, are we?"

Harry had to smile because there was no malice in his comment "Nope"

"Alright" Ron pressed his lips tightly together and then spoke "what was in the room?"

"The Room transfigurated  some bookshelves into a magical creature, it doesn't matter which one"

"No, that's impossible" Hermione spoke almost immediately, it looked like a knee-jerk reaction.

"That's what Draco said. Twice, while we were attacked. Can someone please explain why?"

Hermione looked annoyed at him "We studied that, Harry. Transfigurations? How are you planning on passing this year's exams?" Silence. She gave him a disapproving look "Nothing can create food or a living thing. You can transfigurate a living thing into something else but not the other way around. It's one of the laws of transfiguration"

Ron gave him a confused look and shrugged. Well, at least he wasn't the only one that hadn't been paying attention in class.

"So that Room did something impossible. And?"

"I don't think the creature was the important thing, but we can't rule it out" Draco took off his shoes, starting to look more and more relaxed inside the Gryffindor space. "Before we were attacked, the bookcases were filled with the same book. It was about the Auror's History and I think that was a pretty clear sign of what we need and where the room is guiding on"

A long silence. It was uncomfortable as well.

"Are you implying the aurors are involved?" Ron looked at him in a way it made Harry feel uncomfortable. He still remembered the argument they had had and the things he heard Ron tell Hermione. His best friend was still not okay with Draco -and that was fine- but being caught in the middle was a horrible sensation.

"Not necessarily. The room might be telling us to trust them and work with them. But we can't rule them out as suspects, not really"

"They weren't here when the attacks happened and the attacks stopped once they got here. I think that rules them out" Ron was clearly upset.

Draco simply shrugged and Harry was grateful he didn't try and start a fight. Without saying anything else, Draco lay down on the bed looking up at the ceiling.

"If you all don't mind, I had a long day" Shit. Harry remembered the reason he had gone after him: what had happened at the library. "We can discuss this in the morning with the other two"

Ah, right. They still had to go see Elliot and Noah about this. Harry wasn't sure about anything. He had trusted the aurors before, but right now? He trusted Draco.

"Yes, I'm tired too. You know, almost dying..."

Ron smiled at him and nodded "Sure, we... "

"We will be in the common room" Hermione smiled and got up.

Once they were outside, Harry took off his shoes and got up in his bed, closing the curtains and casting two charms. One to keep anyone from opening them and another one so no one could hear what they were saying.

Draco wasn't asleep, but he wasn't speaking nor moving, just looking up.

"He's just mad about... He will be fine"

"Potter, I don't really care about Weasley"

Harry felt like that was a lie.

"Alright, do you care about what happened today?"

"About almost dying? Well, _yes,_ but we are fine"

Harry sighed. Alright. Draco was being a bit difficult. Harry took his tie off, and decided that he really should relax more around him. So he sat up and called for his sleeping clothes, it wasn't anything fancy but it was comfortable and he was sick of sleeping in his uniform.

Draco gave him a look, but turn on his side to allow him to change. That was nice. No one had seen him naked -Moaning Myrtle did _not_ count- and even though he wasn't going to just get naked to get changed, he appreciated Draco giving him some room.

"For a moment there I thought you were going to..."

"I didn't die. Stop thinking about it"

Harry laid back down "Do you want anything else to wear?"

"I'm fine"

Why was he being so difficult? Was he uncomfortable about the kiss?

"What's wrong?"

"I'm just tired, Harry" Draco moved to his other side to face him "Today was... well, the morning was nice"

Harry had to smile about that "Yeah, Hogsmeade was nice"

"Yeah"

There was a small tense silence, but it wasn't an unbearable tension, it felt as if they both wanted to do the same thing but neither had the courage to just do it.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"You know what happened"

"I mean how it made you feel... what those kids tried to do"

"No, not really" Draco closed his eyes for a moment "Not right now. Do you want to talk about...?"

Harry had no clue what he had to talk about, nothing had happened. They almost died, big deal, that was his life.

"You know, you had a panic attack. You were... you weren't there with me when you had it. Your mind was somewhere else"

Harry felt a strong knot on his throat "Yeah, I just... I never thought I would have to be inside a maze again. Last time..."

Draco's eyes showed everything, he clearly understood what Harry was referencing and was clearly affected by it was well. That was a bit surprising.

"Last time Cedric died" Harry was thankful he didn't have to say it himself.

"Yeah... He didn't deserve that. He didn't. He was _so nice,_ Draco. He helped me. He helped me... It was _because_ he helped me. If he hadn't, if he had been just a little bit more selfish... he would still be alive. He's dead _because_ of me. Because I exist" His voice was broken by the end  of it, and Harry had no clue how to stop himself from feeling what he felt "Everyone's dead because of me"

"No" Draco's voice was calm and sounded incredibly honest "True: Cedric didn't deserve to die and he had nothing to do with this war... But he's dead because of You know Who. Not because of you" Draco moved closer, hugging Harry and pressing his blonde head on his chest. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but Harry felt much better like this. "And everyone else died to... to win. To leave the world a better place. You can't keep blaming yourself for all of it"

Harry felt as if he was about to cry so he place his arms around Draco, thankful that the boy wasn't able to see his face from his position. "They all gave their lives to... for the cause, Harry. And I don't know if you understand that. It's not your fault. You died too, Harry. You died, you told me that. And I couldn't believe it, but I do" Draco looked up, and Harry was already crying. It was weird, crying, but sometimes it happened. He regretted it every time.

Sometimes Harry wondered if he had stopped crying as a baby, maybe he had realized his aunt and uncle wouldn't go soothe him so he just... stopped. Maybe.

"You are alive now, and you have to keep going. For them. For you. For your friends... For the World you changed"

"Don't give me... t-that savior crap" Harry closed his eyes, trying to ignore the tears falling through his cheeks making him feel embarrassed

"You know I don't see you like an all-good hero, Harry or a golden boy or whatever the Prophet came up with this time"

"I know"

"And that's good, right? I'll always call you out on your... stupidity" Harry nodded, blushing when Draco's hand touched his cheek drying his tears. "It's alright"

Was it? Draco moved on the bed to change positions slightly, making Harry rest his head on his chest, allowing him to be the one held. It was new for Harry, but it was... he liked it. Harry closed his eyes hearing Draco's heart beat and even thought he tried not to, his mind drifted back to all the ones he had lost. His eyes filled with tears and so he cried.

And cried, and cried, hugging him so tightly he wasn't sure Draco wasn't uncomfortable. He never complained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!!! But I knew it was going to be a long chapter and I wanted to do it as best I could.   
> I hope you like this and oh yes, that happened ;)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

"This is humiliating"

"What is?" Draco's voice was barely audible.

"Crying"

"It's not"

"It is... Especially in front of you"

"Why?"

Yeah, why? Because it was Malfoy? Because he shouldn't trust him? Or for the complete opposite? Because they kissed?

"Just because"

A small sigh. Harry didn't dare to look up to the other boy.

"Is it because of what happened... Between us?"

_'what happened'_

"I don't know"

"Do you wish to talk about it?"

"No. Do you?"

"No" A pause "Do you wish to talk about Cedric?"

"No"

"Do you want to talk at all?"

Did he? "Maybe"

"And _I_ am the complicated one"

"You _are_ the complicated one"

Draco chuckled, and it was such a sweet laugh that Harry looked up from his position, smiling back. The things he was feeling... Perhaps they were just ideas his mind had. Boys experiment all the time, right? Especially in boarding schools, right? He could be normal. Just like all the other boys. What had happened didn't have to mean anything. It could have been just a game, a slip, a mistake.

The word _'mistake'_ hurt inside his own head, he would never say it to Draco.

"I want to..." Malfoy said, eyes on the red curtains surrounding the bed "to talk about Cedric... About fourth year"

"Malfoy" Harry wanted to pull away but instead he buried his face against the blonds' chest, closing his eyes and feeling something squeezing at his insides. He had stopped crying only moments ago, and really, he didn't remember the last time he cried so hard. Was it after the war? Thinking about Lupin and his son? Or was it back when Sirius...?

He pushed all of that down, and looked up. After all he _was_ curious as to why Draco wanted to talk about it at all.

"I know I said terrible things to you after he died" Harry appreciated him not saying his name "I just couldn't process it. And I... I didn't want to believe you-know-who killed him. Yes, don't give me that look. I know now" His voice became a whisper at the end of his own phrase. Harry decided to move away from his embrace - it was hard- and sit right next to him with his legs crossed underneath his body. "Cedric was a pure blood wizard. There was no reason for him to die" Draco sat up, copying his posture "Do you understand? I was so confused... At first I even thought you were lying. Father said things would be good for us _soon_ and he implied the dark Lord had returned and I believed him but... Somehow I tried not to put two and two together"

"So you didn't believe me, back then?"

"I did... I just... I thought maybe..." Draco sighed "I guess deep down I knew the Dark Lord was insane. I just... Wanted you to know"

Harry was frowning. Why did he want him to know that? It changed nothing. They both made their choices. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Talking about the war only made him more confused _and angry_. They kissed and Harry was pretty sure he wanted to kiss him again but when he thought about his _family_ or the way they both fought over the years or Malfoy's fucking side during the war he felt rage all over his body.

"I guess what I'm... I just..." Draco being insecure and nervous did not help at all. It only made him feel more shitty about being angry.

"Look, Draco, he's dead. If he was your big realization that Voldemort's side was evil then congratulations but it's still not worth him dying"

"I never said that" He was controlled again, distant. "I only wished to explain to you... One of the reasons I... changed"

Him being distant made it easier. Easier to fight, easier to hurt him so he would feel as hurt as Harry was.

"Oh so it wasn't just to save your own skin like daddy?"

That clearly struck a nerve, and Draco got up almost immediately. He was quickly pulling at the curtains and opening them, he was leaving. Harry had fucked up, but he was still hurt and angry and confused and kind of wanted Draco to hurt him.

"Oh, no answer? Am I right then?"

"No, Potter, you are not right" His voice was shaking with anger. Fury, even. Yes, this was good. Harry wanted to be hit. Wanted to feel pain, he deserved it. Maybe this was why Draco had wanted _him_ to hit him that one time? Did he feel this as well?

"In fact" Draco looked at him, hurt in a way Harry couldn't explain. He had never seen such a look in his face. So bare and honest. "It was quite the opposite, you absolute tosser"

"No, it wasn't" Harry got up from the bed as well, his feet touching the cold floor. It felt almost as cold as the air hitting his damp cheeks. "You hurt people, you think less of others, you were horrible, you never cared! You only switched sides to help yourself!"

"You know _NOTHING_ ABOUT ME"

"YES, I DO"

They were screaming now, and Draco was dangerously moving towards him and Harry had no clue when everything had gone to shit.

"Get out"

Draco was struck by those words as if he had been slapped. Harry regretted them instantly but now it was done and they were both too pissed to sleep in the same bed, anyways.

"I was leaving" He grabbed his shoes, eyes almost always on the floor as he put them on "Enjoy your nightmares" That was the last thing he said before leaving the room. Harry threw himself on the bed, looking up and feeling pathetic, angry and upset. Why did he do that? He said things he didn't mean, things he didn't think anymore. He wanted that fight. Why? To prove what?

His eyes watered again, and this time he had no one to hold him.

*

By the time he reached the second floor bathroom his feet were hurting. Draco had intended to reach the Dungeons and eventually his common room, but he didn't make it that far. The weight on his chest became so unbearable he had to stop and find a safe place to stay. That bathroom was the first thing that came to mind.

He had avoided the place as much as he had avoided all the other places he had been during his sixth year. But right now? He had no choice, really.

Draco knew no one was going to be there, not at that time and not with _the_ ghost that lived there. He didn't mind. Not at all. His mind was somewhere else, somewhere dark and there was no way to come back from it.

He avoided the sinks, rushing towards one of the walls. He closed his eyes when his back touched the cold stone. Breathing was hard, and Harry's words were still on his mind. Slowly but surely his knees gave up, so he sat on the floor, pressing them against his chest and trying not to cry.

Normally he wouldn't avoid it, he wasn't as ashamed about crying as his Father thought he should be, but right now he didn't want to. He wanted to be strong, to prove to himself he didn't care what Harry thought.

He failed.

*

They were too old for sleepovers, Elliot was well aware of that. And it was getting late, which meant he really should get up and go back to the dungeons. He didn't want to, though. After the attack the idea of walking alone at night through the halls was... scary. He didn't like admitting that.

And, well, they were having fun. They had gone to Hufflepuff's after dinner and after a while of studying together and joking around, they had gone to the bedroom. Noah was face up staring at the ceiling with a thoughtful look on his face, and Elliot was half-sitting on the bed.

"Elliot? How come you hate Bea?"

Elliot frowned. Ugh.

"I don't _hate_ her"

"Yes, you do"

Elliot looked at him "So? You like her and I am not asking why"

There was a long silence after that. Elliot silently prayed they were done with the topic.

"She's never going to like me back"

"Don't say that" If there was one thing Elliot didn't like was seeing his friends hurt. Well, it's not like he had many friends... He didn't like seeing Noah hurt. Period. "I'm sure she's just... you know, Bea"

"No, girls want..."

Elliot gave him a look "How do you know what girls want?"

"I just assume"

"Alright, I'll bite. What do they want?"

"Well" Noah blushed and looked away "A guy with a penis, probably"

Elliot rolled his eyes "That's overrated" That got a smile from Noah. "Just because Bea doesn't feel the same way doesn't mean there aren't other girls checking you out"

Noah shrugged "I like her"

"I know"

_UGH_. Elliot sat up and tried to find something to change the subject, he was completely sick of hearing about that stupid girl. He hated her, actually. But saying that would probably create tension between them and he didn't want that. So he just kept his feelings for himself. Like always.

"Granger told me we all have to meet to discuss what we have discovered"

"Hm" Noah wasn't paying attention.

"Noah, we haven't discovered shit"

"Hm"

" _Noah_ "

The boy looked at him and nodded, sitting up and crossing his legs "Alright, we can just tell them we haven't found anything. No one is willing to talk to us. Bea saw nothing. Maybe... Maybe there's nothing to find out"

Elliot wasn't so sure about that "I had an idea but... I think it's not really..."

"I'm sure it's a good idea, tell me"

That's something he loved about Noah. People usually thought Elliot was dumb, but not Noah. He always listened.

"I think we should go to the Infirmary and read about my attack. I mean I'm sure they wrote down how I was and... maybe there is a clue in there"

Noah smiled, a lot. "That's brilliant, Elliot"

"Tomorrow morning?"

"Yes"

"And, Noah?"

"Yeah?"

He thought about saying: _you will find love_ , or there _will be someone better than Bea_ , but it all felt... weird. So instead he smiled and said "Can I spend the night here?"

"Sure, Elliot"

*

His crying had stopped, only a burning feeling inside his throat and chest remained. Draco was sure he had sobbed quite loudly which was, probably, humiliating but he didn't care. During the war he had tried not to cry, and if he did he was as quiet as possible. It had been painful, truly, but the alternative was to be seen as weak and probably tortured by one of the madmen living inside his house.

Sometimes he could only think about those days.

How come everything had turned sour so fast? A couple hours ago he was kissing Harry. Kissing The Boy who Lived. No. That wasn't true. He was kissing Harry, _just_ Harry. And it had been perfect. At first he couldn't quite believe that Harry was the one to initiate the kiss. And for a brief moment he was in complete control of the situation. He could've left, pushed him, told him he wasn't interested. He could've ended the situation right there and gotten back on track with what his life should be.

But he didn't. He kissed him back, hard. It had been his first time kissing another boy. And for what? To have him say all those things just moments after? To ruin whatever peaceful friendship they had?

"Fuck" He whispered, his voice hoarse and his throat hurting. A hand found its way to his face, cleaning the remaining tears from his cheeks. Harry saw him as a Death Eater, and a coward and nothing he could say would ever change that. So why try?

Draco knew he would have been able to live with Harry hating him once, but now? Now that he knew what it was like to kiss him? _Fuck_

He barely noticed a figure moving through the bathroom and standing next to him. Ghosts don't really cast any type of shadow so he didn't notice her. Not at first.

"You came back"

Draco looked up and she was there, dressed in the Ravenclaw uniform she would wear for all eternity. Looking as young as she was the day she died. It broke his heart a little bit. Not at first, of course. At first he only thought she was a ghost, and a bit annoying. But... she was a child. Still is. Forever will be.

"Yeah"

"No one comes back"

"I wanted to come sooner, actually" He whispered, and it was true. Why would he lie to a ghost? A dead girl no one really believed or talked to, or cared about anymore.

"Why?"

"To talk to you" He tried to smile, but he was way too sad. "You are nice"

She smiled, and maybe if she were alive she would blush.

"You are crying again"

"Yeah, sorry"

"It's okay, other people don't like it when people cry but I don't mind" She was sweet, and that made it all worse.

"It's just... about stuff"

Myrtle sat next to him, her body not really touching the stone floor or the wall. She was there and she was not there. Always in an in between. Draco had wondered many nights if he would die inside the castle and roam the hallways forever. He had nightmares about it.

"Are you doing bad things again, Draco?"

"No, I don't think so" He smiled, it was such a childish way of putting it. Sometimes he wondered if Myrtle had the mind of a child, or was simply messing around.

"What is it? You used to tell me stuff. Not all the stuff but enough"

"I just... fought with a friend"

"Oh" She looked truly sad, and about to start crying. He didn't mind much, because he guessed that if you are trapped inside a bathroom for eternity then you have a lot of things to cry about. Besides, he went there to do the same, didn't he?

"It's alright... or maybe not. I don't know, really. I hate not knowing"

"You are a bit obsessive" She said, still pouting. "Always wanting to know how things work and how things happened and why"

Right. He had questioned her about the Chamber of Secrets once. He had, also, asked her questions about her death. That had not gone well, but he was truly curious and... well, he wanted to know. Eventually she told him, through tears and sobs. It was awful.

"Myrtle?"

"Yeah?"

"I read a little bit about the castle and... you know, the old times" He knew better than to say 'when you died' "I... If you wanted to I could try and find your parents. They might still be alive" She got up, floating away from him and starting to sob. Draco imagined that was a horrible thing to remind her of, but he had to try. "If you wanted I could try to give them a message! I'm sure they miss you"

She sobbed, loudly and frantically. Her pain knew no ends, really, and Draco wanted to do something more. Try and soothe her or say the right words, but he never had the right words. Well, he knew what to say to Harry but... that had ended badly anyways.

"Do you really think t-they m-miss me?" She asked, looking at him like a little child.

"Yes"

She seemed to think about it, cleaning invisible tears and looking around the bathroom. Was she thinking about how that place was her home? Was she thinking about her real home, back in the muggle world? Was she thinking about parents she never got to see grow old?

"I... I want to send a message to them" Her voice was but a whisper.

Draco hadn't forgotten about his horrible day, but talking to her made him cheer up. He couldn't change the things he had done, the people he had supported or the beliefs he had had, but he could start making amends.

And this was a start.

*

"What happened?" Hermione looked really worried, opening the curtains and staring at him. It was a bit of an invasion of privacy, but after everything they had been through that didn't quite mean the same anymore.

Ron was frowning at him but looked oddly relaxed. Harry wasn't all that surprised, he was probably waiting to say 'I told you so' about him and Draco. But they had no idea what had happened. And even if he tried to explain, they would have no idea.

"We fought"

"Yeah, we heard people screaming and then he was running out of here. What happened?"

"Mate, what did he do?"

Harry groaned, it hadn't been Draco. He understood why people thought it had been him but... it was his own fault. Not Draco's, not this time. One could argue it was also Draco's fault given what he had done in the past, but it wasn't. Not right now.

"Nothing. We fought"

"Yes, but why?"

"Can we not talk about it?" Harry felt a bit embarrassed, not only from everything that had happened but by the fact that he had very clearly been crying. "It was just a stupid fight, alright?"

He must have said that with a bit too much anger because his friends shared a look before giving him one. "Alright, Harry. But we have to talk soon. All of us. We need to talk about what happened to you in the Room of Requirement"

Oh. Great.

"I don't think Malfoy is going to be joining us" Harry used a hand to rub his face. He had screwed up. And he knew he had to go and apologize.

The worst part wasn't apologizing. The worst part was knowing they had to have a huge talk about things neither of them was ready to discuss. They couldn't just be fucking friends without talking about all the things that happened. Yes, they didn't need to talk about _everything_ all at once, but Harry couldn't just bottle everything down and then snap at him and say those things.

He was well aware that if Draco had said hurtful things to him, he would be furious and hurt as well. So, yeah. They needed to talk, and they needed to know where the other one stood. Even if it ruined everything. Even if it meant they would never kiss again.

Merlin, he had been so stupid. He had rushed so much. What if Draco said he still wanted muggles to die? Harry was sure that wasn't the case, and what was worse: he was almost sure Draco had been close to explaining why and how differently he felt about that whole thing. And he had snapped. He had hurt him and told him that he wasn't good, that he was no different than his family. If Malfoy needed a reason to be an asshole again, well, now he had one.

And the same day he had been bullied in the library in front of everyone. The same fucking day they decided to kiss.

Harry was stupid.

"It was your idea to investigate with Malfoy and the other two"

"I will tell him what we discussed... I just... I need time to... fix this" Harry sighed.

The marauders' map was still on his bed, now closed it looked like a simple parchment. He had been staring at it for hours, feeling worse by the minute. Draco had gone to the second floor bathroom and had stayed there. With Myrtle.

He remembered seeing that happen during sixth year, and after what had happened between them in that bathroom he couldn't imagine Draco going there to be comforted. Did he think about it? About how Harry almost killed him?

Harry had that in his mind, more than he would have liked.

"Harry?" Ron was giving him a look "Are you listening to us?"

"Sorry..."

"Mate, listen... you need to talk to someone"

Harry frowned, annoyed "I'm fine"

"Are you? Harry, you snap all the time. You avoid us, Ginny... You ditch class and, listen, I know you are trying to be friendly and leave the past behind but befriending Malfoy in this state is not helping you" What the fuck did they know about what was or wasn't helping him?  "Harry, you need to go back to therapy. I'm sure McGonagall would allow you to leave once a week, or maybe the therapist can come here and..."

"I'm not doing no stupid therapy" He stared at Hermione, angry.

"Fine, mate, how about flying? Gin asked you for some tips, right? Maybe try and fly around a bit more? That always calmed you down"

Yeah. But flying reminded him how he couldn't play quidditch the whole year and it hurt.

Deep down he knew his friends were right, but he just didn't think they were right as to how to fix it. Right now Harry needed to fix things with Draco. He didn't need to go talk to a therapist and he didn't need to fly around the castle. What he needed was to find Draco, and grab him by the shoulders and say sorry. Not only that, but say he is willing to listen to whatever Draco wishes to share. And maybe if they are honest, they can move forward.

*

"I can't talk right now" He said, composed and collected. Harry wondered how much restraint it was taking him not to scream or hit him.

"Why not?" Harry knew he was pushing.

"... I am angry" And that was more honest than he expected. "And hurt" The last part was a whisper, Harry only heard it because he was paying close attention "I say things I regret in this state"

"So what? I wait a couple days and try again?"

"Yes"

They both stared at each other. Harry wanted to be angry, but he felt sad and guilty for screaming the other night instead of saying how sad and weird he felt. "Alright... I will"

Draco said nothing else, and Harry felt like he deserved that treatment. They had all agreed to meet after class but before dinner. Hermione was studying in the library, Ron was outside flying with Ginny and Noah and Elliot were at the infirmary for reasons unknown. Harry wasn't sure if he wanted them to arrive or if he wanted more time alone with Draco.   
  
Picking a place to meet had been hard, but they had finally agreed that the Potions' classroom was the ideal location. It was secluded, people didn't linger there long and if they were caught, well, Slughorn wouldn't really make a fuss. Still, being in there knowing Snape was dead was hard. Harry wasn't sure what to think about him. He... didn't hate him as much, but he hadn't had time to process anything yet.    
  
"You are being honest today"  
  
"I have been honest with you, Potter"   
  
Damn it.  
  
"You know what I mean. You are being... You are saying what you mean, without-"  
  
"I told you _not today,_ Potter" He was tense. Did he want to fight? He probably did. Harry was about to speak when he saw Ron walking towards them, but he wasn't alone. Fuck. Ginny was right next to him, looking exhausted from Quidditch. Her cheeks were slightly pink and her hair tousled. Harry wondered if he should've felt attracted to her then. He had been, once -right?.   
  
"Uhm, Malfoy" She said, giving him a look before focusing on Harry. She didn't wait for Draco to say anything -he wasn't going to- "Harry, are we still on for tomorrow?"  
  
Tomorrow? Oh, yeah. Harry nodded, the last few days after his fight with Draco had been a blur. He had felt terribly alone, and even more angry than usual. He knew he was tiring his friends, but he couldn't help it. He was just so... so... He couldn't describe it but sometimes life felt meaningless.

"Yes, quidditch, sure" He said, realizing there was an uncomfortable silence and three pair of eyes on him. "After breakfast?"  
  
"Excellent" She looked over at Malfoy for a moment and then back at him "Just you and me, okay?" And then she kissed his cheek. Harry could _feel_ Draco becoming tense next to him, crossing his arms and staring at Ginny.   
  
Harry had never been more uncomfortable in his life.

Ron nudged her lovingly and whispered "Alright, Gin" She smiled at them and shrugged "See you later" was the last thing she said before leaving the classroom.  
  
"What did you say to her? About this?"  
  
Ron shrugged "Nothing, really. Just... study group"  
  
Harry pressed his lips together, after second year he... he was a bit protective about Ginny. It was weird, loving her that way. He knew -and she was sure to remind him- she was capable of defending herself, but he never wanted to see her on the floor, cold and lifeless. It would be like seeing Ron or... His mind went right to Fred, and that hurt. It hurt so much. But Harry couldn't allow himself to hurt, not when his friend was hurting, not when his _family_ was hurting, and it was all because of him.   
  
He took a deep breath and moved away from both of them, trying to focus his attention on the ingredients covering the classroom's walls. Potions had interested him once, the first day of class, and then it had been the worst class. Harry pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes, and for a second he was sure Draco was going to go talk to him but the classroom's door opened and everyone turned their attention to the new arrivals.   
  
"That's incredible" Hermione was saying, looking at some book Noah was carrying. How could she always be so interested in studying? Even after everything that had happened.   
  
Harry knew he should be thankful she was still the same.   
  
"Oh look, we are all together" Elliot was clearly not happy.  
  
"Let's make this civil?" Harry almost begged, pushing some desks to form a semi circle. Draco sat down next to him almost immediately, having moved _none_ of the desks. Ron and Hermione, not surprisingly, sat together in front of them and the other two next to them. "We're here to talk about what happened, what progress have we made and what's our next step"  
  
Elliot kept his arms crossed.  
  
"If you don't want to be here" Draco said, his voice slow, awfully so "You can leave"  
  
"How about you leave?" Elliot stared at him, almost as if he was going to hit him.   
  
"Alright, enough" Noah said, giving his friend a stare "We are not going to accomplish anything if we fight. Everyone here is ruled out as a suspect, yeah?"  
  
"Yes" Hermione nodded, opening a little parchment for her notes.  
  
Merlin, he loved her.   
  
"I think we should talk about the other night, the room of requirement?" Sometimes Harry wondered if Ron was brave, or really stupid. Well, he wondered that about himself if he was being honest. Draco crossed his arms and looked over to him, clearly unwilling to speak about it.   
  
Fucking great.  
  
Harry looked over to Noah and Elliot, both of them with curiosity in their eyes "A couple nights ago, Malfoy and I... we were talking and we... We eavesdropped on a conversation"  
  
"A bit more context, mate?"  
  
"The aurors, they were having an argument" Harry frowned, trying to remember the most important details "Some of them believe there is no threat, that it was a student. They said they are here to gather evidence and that's that. There's another auror, uhm, can't remember her name. She believes something's off. And she mentioned the seventh floor"  
  
Elliot frowned "So you just... went there? Alone?"  
  
"I wasn't alone"  
  
Harry could swear he heard a small chuckle from Draco.   
  
"What happened next?" Noah was quiet, and very serious.   
  
"We got there and found the Room of Requirement, without having to do _anything_. And that's off. Most students never find the Room, and for it to just be... there"  
  
Ron shuddered for a moment, and Hermione moved. Harry was sure they were holding hands under the desk.  
  
"We believe... Malfoy believes the room is hurt or broken, from the fire"  
  
"Hurt?" Elliot sneered at Malfoy "Oh that's really _sweet_ , Malfoy"  
  
"Sh-"  
  
" _Hey_ " Harry found himself saying, almost at the same time as Draco was about to go off. It was pure instinct. He had allowed whatever issue Draco had with Elliot to be handled by them, but right now? No. He wasn't going to just sit there and allow him to mock Malfoy. Especially when Draco wasn't actively trying to fight.   
  
"Fine" Elliot rolled his eyes. Draco was staring at Harry, arms still crossed but he hadn't said a word.   
  
"Alright, so" Harry frowned, trying to focus on the task at hand "The Room did some crazy things, almost tried to kill us" He was almost disappointed when Draco didn't fight that notion. Malfoy had been so strongly opposed to the idea of the Room trying to kill them, that he wondered if something had changed his mind or if he was just defeated in the presence of a majority of people that, probably, didn't like him.   
  
"Before that" Draco said, his voice low "the room was filled with books, and they were all about the same thing"  
  
"About?"   
  
"The Aurors"   
  
"You can't possibly believe they are guilty of this" Elliot frowned, but not exactly furious.   
  
"That's one theory" Draco was speaking as if he was bored and Harry hated it. He hated it because he sounded like his father and Harry knew he was _nothing_ like Lucius. "The other theory is that the Room is telling us to trust them, or work with them"  
  
"Oh yeah, and which theory do you believe?"  
  
"Elliot" Noah said, placing a hand on his friends' arm "I think these are all very good points. We can't just trust them. But we can't accuse them. Actually, they weren't even here when you were attacked... but they could've been working from the outside"  
  
"Thank you, Noah" Draco said and everyone was surprised, and they did a terrible job at hiding it. Harry almost wanted to smack them, but he also felt a bit proud. Almost like a: _see? told you he changed_.  
  
"We can't trust them" Hermione said, and now Harry was a bit surprised but he didn't let it show. "We need to be very careful about this. Investigating aurors or blaming them of an attack to a student is... very serious" She glanced at Draco "And not all of us can just do that"  
  
"What if they are right and there is no threat? Aren't we just being idiots?"  
  
Harry laughed, covering his face with a hand for a brief moment "Sorry, I just... I used to think that. Every. Time. And every time I was wrong" It hurt, thinking about it. It hurt so bad. Harry smiled briefly, looking over at him "I just don't want what happened to you and that other boy to happen ever again"  
  
Draco moved his feet under the desk, placing it behind one of Harry's. It was so subtle but it felt as if he had been struck. Harry swallowed, heart racing and palms sweating. Fuck. Did this mean he accepted his apology? Had he just said something good? He probably had.  
  
"Elliot and I did some research of our own" Noah stretched a bit, pulling some papers from his bag "We went to the Infirmary to read on Elliot's report. It was..." He swallowed "Pomfrey stated in her report that all the curses and the dark magic was quite inexperienced. It lacked _finesse_ " He looked at Draco.  
  
"Is that a compliment?"  
  
"You simply have more experience with dark magic than whoever did this"   
  
Harry could see how uncomfortable that made everyone in the room, but it was true.   
  
"What else?" Ron was trying _very hard_ not to look at Draco. It would've been amusing if Harry wasn't so anxious.   
  
"The cuts in his arm weren't made with magic... It was personal. Someone did it with a knife or some other object"  
  
Elliot wasn't looking at them or the papers, he was looking at some far away point. Was talking about the attack too much for him? Harry could imagine how hard it was.  
  
"I think we can read the rest" He whispered, taking one of the papers with notes and leaning in to share it with Draco.   
  
There was silence, everyone reading and passing papers when Harry noticed something strange in the report.  
  
"Your hands were covered in chalk?" Harry looked at Elliot, confused.  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"He does a thing" Noah interjected "He... likes to put a chalk mark on the places he has been. His bag is filled with it. It's a bit annoying"  
  
" _Hey!_ "  
  
"And no one thought this was relevant?" Hermione was frowning "We could've... No, we still can. We have to look around the place of the attack"  
  
Elliot frowned "It's probably all gone, and I've probably been around there since then. We are not going to find anything"  
  
"We don't know that" Harry said, siding with Hermione, surprising no one.   
  
"So that's our first task, then" She said "Does anyone know anything about the other boy?"  
  
Silence. "Then that's the second task"  
  
Harry looked around the room "And we have a third one" They all looked at him, and maybe he was enjoying this. Maybe. "We have to spy on the aurors"


	15. Breaking Point

"I just can't believe you are doing this for Malfoy" Ron said, giving him an accusatory look when they were done deciding how they would divide the group for their activities.

The potion's classroom had been quiet and tense since the moment everyone got there, but now it seemed to have reached a breaking point. Harry wanted to shake everyone in there and tell them to calm the fuck down.

"He's not doing this for me, Weasley, you can relax"

"Oh, no, he is" Harry wanted the Earth to swallow him whole. He coughed, but no one seemed willing to change the subject.

"Ron, we are leaving" Hermione said, getting up and giving him a stare. Thank Merlin for Hermione.

"Sure, whatever" His best friend didn't even look at him. Harry didn't want this for them, but he wasn't going to start shunning Draco simply because Ron was being a prat. His friend was better than this.

Draco crossed his arms while they left, leaving only four of them in the room. Elliot had kept himself quiet and he had to thank him for that.

"We are leaving as well" Noah got up, yawning a bit "I'll have to get up early anyways for... this"

"Thank you for helping" Harry said, and almost saw a smile on Elliot's face.

"Well, try not to murder Malfoy while you are alone" Elliot said in an obnoxious tone, jumping to his feet and walking towards the door "And don't think I didn't notice how you gave me the least amount of work"

"It's not that, Elliot" Harry tried, but the Slytherin was frowning.

"I don't mind if you don't trust me, more work for all of you" And then he left with his friend and Harry was alone with Draco.

It was odd how heavy the air could feel between them, how many things were left unsaid...

Draco uncrossed his arms and got up slowly, picking up his bag, not looking at him directly. His movements were calculated, almost as if he didn't want to leave. Harry wanted him to stay, but he had realized that Draco asking him not to talk to him that night had to be respected. He wasn't well, and Harry had no right to push any further.

"See you tomorrow?" Harry whispered

"See you"

**

"I don't need you defending me. I can handle Elliot pretty well on my own" Draco said while searching under one of the desks, trying to find something, anything. They had decided Hermione and Noah would try and keep an eye on the aurors during the day, while Elliot tried to find out anything about the state of the other victim. Both Draco and Harry had been left with the task of searching every room and hallway near the place where Elliot was attacked, trying to find evidence.

They were searching through an old storage room, filled with broken desks, old books, dirty sheets and cobwebs. Draco wasn't enjoying it at all.

"I wasn't. I just had to say something. I don't understand why he hates you so much" Harry pulled one sheet off an old closet, worrying something might still live inside it. It almost looked like the one where Lupin kept that boggart.

"You can't imagine, really?"

"You know what I mean" Harry touched one of the wooden doors, and hesitated.

"He hates me for... It's really complicated."

And there it was, that distant tone that clearly said: I don't trust you anymore. He had been using it ever since their fight and it was really annoying. Harry sighed and turned away from the old closet, facing Draco.

"We need to talk" No answer, Malfoy was too busy cleaning dust off his hands. Harry would've laughed if he weren't so nervous. "I'm sorry I hurt you" He finally looked up, two grey eyes throwing daggers at him. Harry was a bit surprised that he... Liked that. He didn't like Draco hating him, of course, but he liked how the other boy wouldn't sugar-coat things or make it easy for him. He would always call him out on his bullshit. Not everyone was like that. Not when you are the _Hero_. "I am hurt too"

"Did I say anything to hurt you?"

"No. It's..." Harry had not planned ahead. Mistake. "At first I thought we could never discuss what happened... Now I think we must"

Draco sighed, rubbing his palms against his trousers, probably trying to get them cleaner.

"What about?"

"Everything? Not- not all at once. Maybe something small first?" Harry walked towards him and sighed "Like, do you still hate muggle borns?"

"No" Draco crossed his arms, frowning "Do you want to talk or do you wish to interrogate me instead?"

"Talk, like... Like two..."

"Friends?"

Harry nodded, but not very sure about that.

"Two friends that about a year ago tried to murder each other"

"We didn't try to murder each other..."

"Indirectly. I was working with V-... With _You-know-Who_. He wanted you dead, I helped"

Harry sighed, he really wasn't making this easy. Well, he shouldn't have expected it to be easy.

"You helped me. You and your mother. She lied to his face, Draco, I would be _so_ dead if it weren't for her... And you... You didn't told them it was me at the manor."

Draco shrugged, holding his gaze "That's why you went to the trials?"

"Yes. And because... You don't deserve to be locked away. What good would it do?"

"Some people would call it justice. It's not about good or evil, just about being fair"

"Fuck that, Draco. You don't believe that" Harry took another step towards him "I know I fucked up. You are not your Father, and you were right... I don't know your reasons, I am not in your head. But I want to understand, to know you"

Something softened Draco's expression, making him uncross his arms and take a step forward. "Look, Potter, this is all very polite but there are things we are never going to leave behind. It's best if we accept that. Our... There is no future to this"

_This_

"What things?"

"Want me to name them?" Draco lowered his voice but didn't walk away, one arm reaching, touching Harry's shoulder for a brief moment and then falling again at his side "Alright. We'll never leave my mark behind, or Sirius' death, or your friend's torture at the hands of my aunt. Or-"

"Draco, those things are not-... They don't define us"

"Yes. They do" Draco frowned "My actions during sixth year? I hurt... A student, I lied, I got Death Eaters inside Hogwarts. I plotted to murder your _dear_ Dumbledore... I got him killed, in the end" He looked away, tormented. Harry wanted to speak but memories flooded his head and his throat fell shut "My aunt killed my own cousin, Nymphadora" Had they ever met? As cousins? Harry had so many questions "My Father is Lucius Malfoy, a bloody D-..." Draco closed his eyes, unable to keep talking, he seemed small even though he was taller than Harry. Sadness will do that, Harry thought, moving forward and hugging him very tightly. It was hard to know what was going through his head. How many of those things haunted him? How much of all of that did Draco believe to be his fault? Every single one of those things had happened, it was all true, but it wasn't the whole truth. And Dumbledore... Harry sighed, not letting go.   
  
Draco pressed his face against his shoulder, slumping forward just a bit. Harry wasn't sure if he was crying, but he wasn't hugging him back.  
  
"Draco, we can work through all of it" Harry kept his eyes on the wall behind Draco, his arms surrounding him and keeping him close "And there's something you need to know"  
  
"What?" Harry wanted to pull him away and see his face, see if he was crying, fix everything.   
  
"Dumbledore knew what you had to do" He whispered "He told Snape to... murder him. It was going to happen, regardless of your actions"   
Draco became tense but relaxed after a couple of seconds, nodding against his shoulder. Was he tired of fighting? Did he believe it to be his fault so much so he wasn't able to even argue? "And you weren't going to do it, I was there. You were lowering your wand..."  
  
Draco moved his head from his shoulder to see his face. His eyes had watered but he wasn't crying, Harry had seen him like this only once before. And he had reacted badly. Maybe things would've been different if he hadn't fought him that night.  
  
"He _knew_?" Draco looked down, a small frown on his face and then he chuckled, closing his eyes "Of course he did, of course he knew he was going to die while saying he could _save_  me and my family. I _believed_ him"  
  
"I'm sorry, Draco" He whispered, memories of that night trying to surface. "He lied to me too"  
  
"No, it's okay. I don't want to... think about that night. Not right now" Draco moved his arms, placing his hands on Harry's shoulders for lack of anywhere else to place them. He looked at him and there was a long pause, neither moved but they both wanted to. Harry knew what he wanted to do, it was a clear wish inside his head, but he was scared Draco would push him off. At least Draco was letting himself be hugged so maybe... maybe a kiss... only one, wouldn't hurt anyone. "He lied to you?" His question was a whisper and Harry didn't want to answer, didn't wish to think about that. Dumbledore had been important in his life, extremely so, and he knew he hadn't been _lied to_ precisely. Dumbledore had just... not told him things. Important things. He didn't want to talk about it, not when his body felt warm and awake. Not when he was with him. Not while they still had issues to resolve.   
  
Draco moved a hand to the back of his head, touching his hair. It was such a tender caress Harry almost closed his eyes. Instead, he moved forward, looking down at Draco's lips without realizing the other boy was doing the same. Harry closed his eyes knowing it was now or never, and kissed him, feeling the same soft lips he had met only once before but haunted his dreams ever since.   
  
Their lips moved together, hungry, desperate, while Draco's hands moved up to his head. Harry had never had his hair tugged in that way, but it woke something inside of him. Their lips meeting, clashing, melting into one another and the feeling of Draco's tongue was enough but having his hair tugged like that? His body pressed against his? Harry touched his back, feeling his muscles and rumpling his shirt. It was impossible not to get caught in the moment. Harry pushed him towards the wardrobe, without breaking the kiss because it was giving him everything he needed.   
  
There was a low sound in between kisses when Draco's back got pressed against the old wardrobe and Harry placed a hand next to his face, kissing him more deeply.

Harry had never kissed anyone like this, and even though their noses clashed from time to time, it only made them smile. It made him happy, kissing him like that: messy, but perfect. His hands wandered, feeling his strong back -he was more muscular than he remembered- and his hips, and a bit of his flat chest and... It almost made him dizzy. His pants had gone tight against his crotch but he tried not to focus on that. It could definitely ruin the moment.   
  
Draco then did something he never thought in a million years could be done -or maybe he wasn't a normal teenager and hadn't fantasized enough in his lifetime-, he barely pulled away, taking only Harry's lower lip between his teeth and biting down hard. Harry groaned, but even thought it hurt, he felt alive, incredibly so. And it _didn't_ help the heat on his skin. He kissed him again, biting this time, pulling at his lips and doing everything that came to mind. And what came to mind next was Draco's skin. Without thinking, he let go of his lips, catching a glimpse of how swollen they looked and moved a bit down, to his neck. 

His skin was the fairest he had ever seen, sometimes it felt as if just pressing on it too hard would make it red. And Harry wanted to see that. He kissed on a patch of skin, hearing Draco's breathing stop for a brief moment, his fingers digging on the back of his neck. He was doing something right, so he kept going. He used his tongue and then his teeth, pulling at his skin... Draco moaned and it completely ruined his train of thought, if he had one. It was the most arousing thing he had heard in his life, and _he_ was the cause of it. He smiled against his skin, moving his hands to his hips before going back to his lips. Pulling him forward a bit, Harry's leg found its way in between Draco's.

"We should stop" Draco finally spoke, voice hoarse and hands on Harry's shoulders.

"Sorry" Harry pulled back, looking at him and trying to calm down his breathing. Slowly but surely his thoughts came back, and his mind realized what he had been doing just moments ago. Had it been too much? He blushed softly, and ran a hand through his own hair.  
  
"It's alright, Harry" Draco looked spent, his back still pressed against the wardrobe, shirt loose and a huge mark on his neck. "I'm okay" He moved away from the piece of furniture and grabbed Harry by his arms "It's just... it can't be like this"

Harry felt his world turn for a brief second. "What do you mean?"

"We can't..." Draco seemed conflicted, eyes looking at Harry's chest, hands tightening and loosening on his shoulders "We can't just fight and hurt each other and then kiss to make it up"

"We are not doing that" Harry whispered, but he wasn't sure. "We talked, we-... we are going to fix things" He gave a step forward, placing a hand on Draco's cheek "We'll fix it"

Draco looked up and barely smiled, his lips were swollen and red "Fine. I believe you, Potter"

"Good"

There was a moment of silence while they held each other, and then Draco moved away. "I should... go"  
  
"Yeah, me... me too" Harry tried to look around the room, touching some things that were old and dusty. "I have practice with Ginny. I promised..."

"Ah"

"Don't worry, we are just friends"

"Who said I'm worried?"

Harry smirked "Whatever you say, Malfoy. See you later?"

"I have to study... meet me at the library?"

"Sure. I'll... I'll see you there" Harry gave a step forward, not really knowing what to do.

Draco seemed to notice his doubt, because he closed the space between them and gave him a small kiss on the lips, a hand on the back of his neck. "See you"

*

It was cloudy outside, and the wind made it almost unbearable without a scarf, but Ginny was standing there only with her outdoor clothes, not a care in the world. Harry swallowed before walking towards her, his broom in hand. It would be very difficult talking to her, to try and explain things. Would she want him to explain things?

Were they going to talk at all? Perhaps she truly wanted to train and didn't care that he had been acting _strange_ and _distant._

She smiled at his sight, and it made him uneasy.

"Hey"

"Hey" Ginny looked up "Do you think it's going to snow again?"

"Nah... It probably won't anymore" He looked around "Your broom?"

"Ron helped me yesterday, I don't _really_ need your tips, you know?"

Harry wanted to run.

"Alright, what are we doing then?"

"Walk with me?" She gave a step forward and grabbed his arm.

Harry only nodded, starting to walk with her, still carrying his broom. He felt quite silly having it there, but oh well. It was hard not feeling anxious and uncomfortable, not knowing what they were going to discuss. Hell, moments ago he had been kissing a boy and now the girl _had_ kissed once was holding his arm. She didn't deserve any of this. She deserved the hero of the wizarding world, the boy she fell in love with, the one that would give her the world.

Harry wasn't that boy.

"I know something's going on" She started, not looking at him. Her red hair moved with the wind making it hard to see her face, but she didn't seem to mind at all "And I won't push you. I know... we are family, Harry" She smiled, walking towards the school's lake. "And I know you will tell me what's going on when you can"

She stopped and faced him, finding a position where the wind worked with her and moved her hair out of her face.

"Thank you, Gin"

"And I know my brother is giving you a hard time... but don't be angry. It's been hard, for all of us" She looked down, hiding her hands on her pockets "Ron needs his best friend as much as you might need him. And you are pushing everyone away. I'm not trying to be mean, and it's fine if you need your space... just... think about that next time, yeah?"

Harry tried to feel bad about it, but couldn't. His insides were a mess, and this wasn't new. He felt empty and sad when he should be happy (the war was over so why wouldn't he be happy?) and then he felt calm and loved around people he shouldn't be with -well, only Draco. He knew something was off, and different and perhaps he had changed forever. But he didn't know how to figure it out. How to know for sure.

"I need time to... sort myself out"

"I know. And... I don't think anything of our kiss" Harry wasn't sure she was being honest, he could see her hurting. But what could he do? He could like and kiss her, but that would be horrible of him. She deserved better. "So, don't feel like you owe me anything, alright?"

"'kay"

"You are really good, Harry" She moved a bit closer and placed a kiss on his cheek "You don't deserve to be alone right now..." She smiled and grabbed his arm again "Let's sit by the lake?"

"Sure, Gin. I'd like that" He smiled and only agreed because she didn't seem to want to talk any more about what was happening to him.

And he was right. He sat down and smiled as she talked about her classes and the exams and how everything was going on at home. It hurt a bit, but Ginny didn't dwell on George or Fred's loss or how her mom was handling it, she just... told him normal things. She told him how much they missed him during New years, and how her mom was super worried and wanted to know how he was doing in therapy -Harry couldn't tell her he wasn't going anymore- and if he was eating and sleeping well. Harry knew what he was going to say when he saw her but it wasn't going to be necessarily the truth.

While they talked, he wondered how they'd all feel if they knew how he was feeling. They would surely be disappointed. Would they shun him out? It wouldn't be the first time he'd find himself all alone in the world, but he didn't want that. Something deep down inside told him it was his destiny to forever be alone, left out. Who would ever want him? A broken boy, only useful to defeat a powerful wizard. A boy that had been a weapon. A boy without a family.

*

It wasn't particularly late and yet the library was almost empty. This tranquilized Harry, who had been really stressed at the idea of going inside a room filled with students that would glance at him and whisper. Some tables were packed, but it could be much worse.

He quickly looked around and found the blonde head he had been searching so intently. It was such a relief, knowing he wasn't going to be sitting alone. His feet moved before he even considered if it was wise allowing others to see them together as friends.

Harry placed his books and quill next to Draco's organized pile. It was incredible how neat he was, everything had a perfect order, a place. It was a bit nerve wracking, really. Harry knew he was organized as well, living with the Dursley's had given him a weird discipline, he hated it sometimes.

"What are you working on?" Harry tried peeking over Draco's shoulder, the Slytherin was working hard on a piece of parchment. His handwriting was perfect and he had made drawings of old runes, they were a perfect copy of the ones in the book. "Runes?"

"Yes" Draco stared at him, the tip of his quill frozen a couple millimeters over the paper "You?"

Harry hadn't even opened his book "Erh... Runes, too, I guess"

"You don't like them?"

"It all looks the same to me" Draco went back to writing but with a smirk on his face "Your drawings are almost a perfect copy"

" _Almost_?"

"You know, you can say _'thanks'_ when someone gives you a compliment"

"Jerk"

"Takes one to know one"

Draco smiled and looked at him, his smile reaching his eyes and making him look warm. It was odd how a few years back he would have ran away from the idea of even talking to Malfoy. And now here he was, wishing they were alone to repeat what had happened in the old storage room.

"How did it go with the Weasley girl?" Draco focused on his writing, and Harry wondered how in all hells could someone write that fast in such an intricate style.

"I know you know her name" No answer "It was fine. She... Is incredible, really" Draco's writing slowed down but he said nothing "No pushing, nothing. She told me she is worried, like everyone else. And... Well, she said I need my space and that's fine but she cares and wanted me to know she is there for me"

Silence. Draco rested his quill on the table and nodded "She is in love with you"

_Ugh_.

"Malfoy... Look, it's complicated. We don't know if she..." Harry sighed. Yes, of course he knew. But thinking about it didn't make him feel any better so why bother? "Can we talk about something else?"

"Yes" Draco opened his bag, and pulled a blank paper, placing it on the space between their books "I..."

Harry arched an eyebrow trying to understand what he was doing "You?"

"Shut up" Draco took the quill and wrote down on the paper, not letting him see until he was done.

**'Sometimes it gets hard for us to talk. I thought, if something gets really difficult we could write down what we want to say'**

Oh. Harry nodded and quickly dipped his quill inside the inkwell and proceeded to write. Merlin, his writing looked like a 5 year olds next to Draco's. Well, it's not like anyone actually cared to teach him how to do it.

**'It's a great idea. Let me start: do you want to talk about Cedric? I pushed you away and I shouldn't have. Sometimes I get angry. I'm sorry"**

Draco read while he wrote, which made him a bit nervous and his handwriting became more shaky at the end, but he knew this would be worth it.

**'It's alright, you are forgiven. I get angry as well' Harry could see him looking only at the paper, thinking, quill shaking very softly 'Cedric dying made no sense in my young mind. I was raised to believe quite a number of things, and Voldemort murdering one of _his own_ wasn't in that set of beliefs. I know you don't understand what it means for someone like me to even question what you have been told'**

Another pause, Harry could see how nervous he was, how insecure. He wanted to reach out, hug him and let him know it was fine. Questioning everything is just a part of life... Harry tried to imagine young Draco trying to go against Lucius' ideals. Even inside his mind it didn't end well.

**'What I did is unforgivable. But what happened that year made me doubt. And doubt is a powerful thing, Harry. When I finally met... Him, I knew my doubts were right. But it was too late by then'**

"It's never too late"

"I don't know"

"And what you did is not unforgivable, Draco" He whispered trying not to draw any unwanted attention to their table.

Draco didn't look up at him, just nodded at the words written on that piece of paper.

**'I was angry because I blame myself for Cedric's death. I wasn't angry at you'**

**'It's not your fault. You didn't know, you didn't land the killing blow, and you had no desire for him to die. In no universe that death is your fault, Harry'**

Harry felt sand inside his throat but nodded, clutching his own quill and trying to think what to say - or write- in response.

**'Everyone around me d-'** His hand started to shake and the phrase couldn't be finished. Closing his eyes, he felt Draco's hand on his leg, pressing softly and looking worriedly at him. Fuck. The silence and the company only made him feel like crying again. He _never_ cried, never. Not even when he slept under the stairs and no one remembered his birthday. Why now?

"Do you wish to go back to the Tower?"

"No. We... We have to study and..." Harry cleared his throat, a bit more composed by the subtle change of topic "And we have to follow our plan, remember?"

"We don't have to do anything, but yes, I remember"

Harry rubbed one of his own cheeks and looked down at his books, he should really do some studying if he wanted to become an auror. But did he? It was a dangerous job. Maybe the adrenaline would make him feel alive again. Yeah, he... He needed that, right? The rush, the danger. And if he died, well, he would die making the world a better place. As it should be. As it was meant to be. Harry closed his book, feeling overwhelmed by a dark feeling. It was as if something took all the drive out of his body. It was nothing like a dementor, he just felt... Nothing. No desire to even breathe because, what was the point?

**'You alright?'**

**'No'** Harry tapped his fingers on the table before writting again **'I feel empty'**

**'We all do. The war did that'**

Draco gave him a silent stare, but it didnt say _'I'm worried'_ or _'poor thing'_ , it was an understanding gaze, one that said _'I feel the same'._

**'I thought about dying, many times. I still do, sometimes. Do you?'**

"Draco, you... Don't think about that" He was alarmed, if anything happened to Draco what would he do? He couldn't even entertain the idea.

Draco tapped the paper twice as in _keep reading._

**'I won't hurt myself, Harry. Life has been hard and sometimes I simply wished I was dead. I know you have as well. It' s alright. We'** there was doubt there, Harry could see it **'we have each other'**

Oh.

"Yeah"

Another pause, they kept their eyes anywhere but on each other.

"We-we could go to the Tower for a while. Finish our essays there... If-if you want"

Draco nodded and started folding his parchment, as well as picking up his books. Neither said a word.

People stared as they left the library. They only sat next to each other and barely spoke, so if anyone was watching it would've looked like two friends studying or maybe two _acquaintances_ sharing the same table. Nothing more. In that moment, feeling the glances and hearing the soft whispers - gossip, surely- he realized how much he wanted to keep everything a secret. He didn't want people staring, or talking about their... Whatever it was. But now it was done, and they would have to deal with whatever happened next.

At least nobody knew they kissed. So that was a relief.

Harry wondered how Draco felt about it all. Should he ask? Maybe not.

After turning a corner or two, he unfolded his invisibility cloak, and they both made their way up to the Tower. At least he knew Draco didn't want everyone knowing he was sleeping at the tower, and Harry could help keep that a secret.

*

"Are you done with that?" it was surprising how much work Draco was putting into that essay and, to be honest, it looked amazing. Harry was sure he was going to get an excellent grade but the blond didn't seem so sure.

"Not yet"

And Harry was bored, waiting for him to finish while doing absolutely nothing. With a sigh he laid down on the bed, curtains still closed -of course- and enough spells to keep everyone away and not let a single sound escape.

Harry decided to do something, instead of just wasting time so he picked up his map and opened it, tapping it with his wand and pronouncing the correct words to make it appear. It still amazed him how every single room in the castle -except the Room of Requirement- appeared with everyone's current location. If they weren't going to walk around to spy on the aurors at least he could make sure no one was doing anything suspicious.

He saw Ron and Hermione still in the Common Room, Neville was with them. Studying? Harry felt disconnected, and knew he was isolating himself but he just couldn't handle them at the moment. Elliot was on the other side of the castle, inside his bedroom. Sleeping? Harry looked over at Malfoy and wondered why they hated each other so badly. Why would someone think that by attacking Elliot they would implicate Malfoy?

"How come Elliot hates you?"

"A lot of people hate me" Draco didn't look up from his paper.

"Draco"

There was a sigh and Draco carefully folded the piece of parchment, placing it between two books before sending them all flying into his bag. Then, he laid down next to him.

"At first I thought it was because he knows"

"He knows?"

Draco frowned at him but didn't clarify "I... He hates me because my Father tortured his aunt. Almost drove her insane"

Harry felt anger. And disgust. He wanted to get up and leave but he knew that if he did that Draco would never talk to him again.

Deep breaths.

"You are not your father" He didn't know if he had something smarter to say, but he needed to say _that_ out loud, and he needed Draco to hear it.

"I am aware, Harry" He closed his eyes, tired. They were laying side by side, but not close enough. Harry wanted to be closer. "I don't hate him, not really. I just... He knows my 'secret', he mocks me. He hasn't said a word but he _could_ ruin me" Draco opened his eyes and just stared. Merlin. What secret? What could be so bad?

Harry closed the map for a moment, leaving it under his pillow, to lay on his side and touch Draco's cheek.

"It will be alright. He won't say anything. Besides, Noah seems to calm him down a lot"

"Yeah" Draco moved his face towards his hand, his movement was almost scared. Harry took it as a clear invitation and moved closer, caressing his cheek without any doubts now.

"Do you want to talk about it? Your secret"

"Can't"

"Write it down?"

"Too dangerous"

Harry frowned, confused and worried. Draco seemed to see it on his face, because he kept staring at him. Silence.

"Let me show you" Draco finally spoke, closing the distance between their bodies and pressing their lips together. It was something Harry wasn't expecting, but it was extremely well received. He needed that. He had needed to touch his lips since that morning and now it was finally happening again. Of course his mind stopped working with the first touches, only focused on kissing him. Draco had an arm resting behind his neck and the other between their bodies... Harry kissed him. And kissed him. And kissed him. And kissed him even more.

It was weird how gentle he was for a guy, how caring. Harry'd have imagined him to be rough and maybe cold, but Draco was loving and soft and sweet and everything he needed to feel warmth inside his chest. He knew it made no sense. And it wasn't fair how fast his heart was beating, or how his skin was starting to burn with desire.

"Do you understand now?" Draco whispered when they both calmed down enough to stop kissing.

"But we weren't... I mean, before... I..." Harry was dizzy from his lips, yet trying to figure it out. Oh. Of course. "Oh, it's... that you like...?"

"Men" Draco's voice was a bit chocked up, and he didn't look him in the eye.

"Hey... that's not so bad" Harry moved a bit closer, kissing his cheek to try and show affection. He wasn't really good at that. But maybe he was enough for Draco.

"But it is, Harry" Draco closed his eyes, not moving away from their embrace "It just is"

Harry wanted to say it wasn't bad, that everything was going to be okay. But he didn't want to lie either. He knew it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that they were both men. If one of them were a girl... He would just go and tell everyone. Wouldn't he? But Harry knew how people were about this.

The Dursleys had said the most awful things... And yes, they always said the most awful things about anyone different but he had never seen a man kissing another or anyone speaking about this as a... normal thing. So maybe the Dursleys weren't so off about this. Maybe this was the one topic were their ideas matched the rest of the world's.  

He had seen how boys -sometimes even his own cousin- would harass other boys for being too feminine. Hell, he had never seen anyone in the whole wizarding world that was gay. He had no clue what Wizards thought about it, but if it wasn't an everyday thing then... It was something to be hidden away, no?

Harry truly wanted to say everything would be alright but he wasn't sure. At the beginning of the year he had read that book about pure blood families and he had found out how strict they were. He had seen the things for which they would disown someone. And he could only imagine that loving someone of your same gender would be enough to get you burnt from the family tree.

And Draco was so... loyal to his family.

"Who else knows?"

"You are the only one I've told" He opened his eyes and sighed "Elliot found out, I'd rather not tell you how" Alright, Harry was curious but he didn't need every single detail "I think mother knows or at least suspects. She never says anything... She's probably hoping it will go away"

"Maybe she doesn't know how to talk to you about it" Draco seemed unconvinced by that. Harry knew Narcissa loved his child enough to lie to Voldemort, so this should be... a walk in the park. Right? Oh, Harry hoped so.

He decided not to ask about his father because that would never go well. Lucius wasn't a good man. Was he? And Draco didn't deserve to go through whatever hell that man would put him through for this.

"I won't tell anyone, Draco. About it... or about us"

"Thank you"

"Hey, stop looking like that... it's not the end of the world"

Draco smirked for a moment and pressed his face against the fabric of Harry's shirt. "It will be, one day"

"You are really dramatic, you know?"

"You have told me that, you know?"

"Perhaps" Harry smiled, and slowly turned on the bed to be face up, but with Draco still against his chest. The slytherin moved with him so all of his side would be pressed against Harry, his face resting on his chest. "Look, I've wanted to show you this for a while"

Harry pulled the map from under the bed, and opened it in front of their eyes.

"Is that...? How did you get that map, Potter?"

"Wait, you've heard about it?"

"Everyone knows about that map. But nobody believes it to be real..." Draco barely shifted to look at it a bit better "Did you steal it?"

"No. It was my father's"

"Oh" There was a brief silence "Your father did this?"

"Him and his friends. I don't really know which one did it. One of them was Lupin, you know? Sirius and..." Bile rose up from his stomach to his throat at the thought of the one that betrayed them. The one that condemned him for the rest of his life.

Draco, without knowing about that but realizing something was wrong, moved a hand through his chest to calm him down. He failed, but at least he distracted his thoughts enough to allow Harry to finish speaking.

"It has been so helpful all these years. With the cloak and the map... I... I don't know what I would do without these things"

"Now I see why you always found me. Huh"

"Ah, yes" Harry smirked "I used to... do what I'm doing right now and see where you were"

"That's... worrying" Draco frowned and reached out to point at the map "It shows ghosts too?"

"Yup, and Peeves"

There was a long silence and Harry looked down to his chest, to try and see Draco's face. The boy wasn't asleep, he was still looking at the map, cuddled against his chest. This was good. And Harry suddenly didn't care what was fair or wasn't fair. He didn't care what the wizarding world would think, or the muggle world. He hadn't feel this good in ages, and who were they to deprive him of this?

"Potter, something's going on"

"Huh?" Harry frowned, looking back at the map and trying to see whatever it was that Draco was seeing. "What do you mean?"

Draco moved away from him, sitting on the bed and forcing Harry to do the same. They placed the map on the bed quickly "Look, Noah was here" He pointed to one of the hallways "and then he started... he's running to Slytherin. Why?"

Harry frowned, trying to follow the places where Draco was pointing, trying to see a pattern. "Did he stop anywhere? Did he talk to anyone?"

"Harry, I think someone's hurt" Draco whispered, staring intently to a point on the map.

"What do you mean someone's hurt?"

"Myrtle's bathroom. There's someone there... No one goes there. I... I didn't see Noah go in there, but he could have seen what was going on in the bathroom from the hallway. Look"

And he was right. There was a girl on the bathroom right next to Myrtle's name. It was strange, not only seeing someone there but seeing someone interacting with Myrtle. Unless the girl wasn't interacting and Myrtle was just staring and screaming as she died.

Staring and screaming as she did when he hurt Draco.

"We need to go, right now. Before anyone gets there"

Quickly, and knowing their night was ruined they both got up from the bed, looking for their shoes and running out the room. Harry tried to think if he knew anyone by the name of Beatrice but he didn't. He truly hoped she wasn't dead.  

"Did you see any Aurors near the bathroom?!"

"Potter, I-... Just hurry!" Draco said, pushing him through the bedroom's door.

The moment they reached the common room, three pair of eyes focused on them. Fuck.

"Ron, Hermione, not now. We have to go!"

"What's going on?" Neville asked, completely confused.

"We just can't talk now, Longbottom. Granger, coming?" Draco rushed to Gryffindor's door as if he owned the place not waiting for a response.

Hermione was giving both of them weird looks "What's happening?"

"Look, please just come with us?!"

Ron looked at her, and they both got up, hurrying right behind them. Of course the moment the door opened, they knew things wouldn't be so easy.

"You aren't going anywhere" The Auror said, staring at the four of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!  
> By the way, I know sometimes people don't like it when you add 'original characters', but I kinda had to for the plot! I hope you like them!


	16. Chapter 16

_"You aren't going anywhere" The auror said, staring at the four of them._

Harry gritted his teeth. He knew she wasn't trustworthy from the moment he met her and now it was being proven, right? Because what else could this mean except she was in on whatever was going on?

"Let us go" He demanded, but the auror didn't move

"Something has happened" She exclaimed in a clear and loud tone, catching everyone's attention, even drawing some people from the bedrooms, still in their pajamas. "No one is allowed to leave the dormitories. And after tonight there will be a curfew. That includes both of you" She said, looking at both Harry and Draco, who were very still trying to understand what was going on and what had happened.

"I was just going to walk him back to Slytherin" Harry lied, his gaze defiant. He knew she wasn't trustworthy. "Why can't I? What happened?"

"Mr. Malfoy will spend the night here, no one can leave the dormitories. It's an order. There will be aurors stationed outside every house in case some of you need something"

Draco frowned, uncomfortable from everyone's eyes on him. He was a Slytherin in lion territory, after all.

"Is someone dead?" a voice came from the back and Harrry's stomach turned.

"Everyone go back to bed. No one has died" _'yet'_ , her eyes said 'yet' and Harry felt he had to run. "Mr. Potter" She said, in a lower tone just for the two of them "I am aware you have means to roam the castle without being detected, but I recommend not doing so tonight. If not for me, for your... Friend."

Harry frowned, was that a threat? He looked over at Draco, who was talking to Neville -an odd scene? Perhaps-. Hell.

"I don't know what you are talking about, Mrs...?"

"Just go back to bed. We will talk in the morning"

Harry groaned, aware he would get nothing out of her. He hated her, it was just... It reminded him of that gut feeling he had had with Snape back in the old days. Just a sense that something was wrong about her.

"We should get some rest" Hermione whispered, touching Harry's arm and giving him a look that said 'we will do no such thing'

"Yeah, I am exhausted" Ron faked a yawn and Harry smiled, looking over at Draco. The Slytherin had clearly seen what was going on between the trio. He was so perceptive it was slightly scary.

The auror had sat next to the door, and Harry knew that he would not get out from there. At least she didn't attack them. Was it because they were four and she was only one? Or was it because it was a semi-crowded place and she didn't want to get caught?

No, she surely had a partner. There was no way she would just appear outside their door right after what had happened. There was no way.

"Harry, are you going to explain what happened?" His friends were staring at him with puzzled looks. Right.

"We saw something odd on the map... Well, Draco thought it was weird that someone was talking to Myrtle"

Draco followed them a bit behind but clearly listening to everything they were saying. They went up the stairs and smuggled Hermione into their bedroom. He still had no idea how she had managed to get in the boy's dormitories, the Castle was old and filled with magic and she was just one witch. But then again, it was Hermione.

"We saw Noah as well" Draco whispered, sitting on Harry's bed. The curtains were now opened and it was clear they had been laying down, the sheets a bit messy and Draco's schoolbag at the end of the bed. Somehow it felt way too private for Harry and he wanted to make them look away from it.

"You don't think he did it, right?" Ron arched an eyebrow, sitting in front of them and making space for Hermione.

"Actually I... don't know what to think" Harry sighed, running a hand through his hair.  


"It wasn't him" Draco sounded determined "Makes no sense. What's the motive if it was him? No. But I do think he saw something"

Harry looked at his friends, both of them with determined looks. It was talking without words, in a way. He didn't want Draco to feel left out, but some things would never change and Harry didn't want them to.

"So what are you going to do?" Malfoy's voice made him turn slightly.

"You and Ron should go find out what happened, talk to the victim if you can and Myrtle" Hermione said, almost giving the orders.

"And what will you do?" Ron asked, curious but not complaining. It was nice seeing his friends find love in each other, even as different as they were.

"I'll stay here"

Draco stared at her, a small frown on his face and then crossed his arms. "Very well. You shall go"

There was a brief pause, Harry moving to get his cloak and the map. They couldn't just walk blindly around the Castle -they would probably get lost, or caught. And he didn't know which one was worse-. While he grabbed everything they needed -Cloak, wand, map, the broom he had left in a hurry after meeting Ginny- Ron cupped Hermione's face and kissed her goodbye. Something moved inside Harry's chest and he looked over at Draco, who seemed completely unaware. The slythering was looking out the window, without a care in the world. Or at least that's what he was trying to show. Harry wanted to do the same thing his friends were doing. It was a simple gesture, just a small kiss goodbye. Just in case. It was strange, feeling like he had someone to come back to.

Harry sighed and looked at Ron "You have your wand, right?"

"Mate" Ron almost laughed and then opened their room's window. They weren't going to leave out the front door anyway.

***

The Tower windows were not supposed to allow students to "jump" or fly down, but surely Hermione had done something to them as well. Or perhaps they had been damaged during the war and changed. Harry didn't know and didn't care. Whatever helped them to get done with this was good enough for him. They dropped on the grass outside the school and Harry managed to shrink his broom so it wouldn't be bothering them.

From the outside, it was almost as if nothing had happened. The Castle illuminated the damp cold grass and the night sky watched over all of them. Nothing seemed amiss.  Harry remembered the eerie silence that fell over Hogwarts during that hour or so of peace they had, that hour to mourn and gather their dead while Harry prepared to face the Dark Lord in the flesh. Saying it out loud seemed as if it had happened to someone else. As if he was just telling a story. And so, he didn't spoke of it.

"Feels like old times" Ron said with a smile, allowing Harry to cover both of them with the cloak as they made their way around the Castle trying to find a way in.

"Yeah... Guess it does" He smiled back.

"I wanted to talk to you, you know? You've been kind of an asshole lately"

"People have told me that" Harry sighed looking around and trying to avoid any traps, if there were any. Aurors seemed to be focused inside the Castle and not on the outside. Weird.

"Hermione and I... We have been talking about it. About you" Ugh. Harry tried not to be mad, but he was stressed and confused and talking of himself wasn't exactly something he enjoyed.

"And you have come to the conclusion that I am an asshole?"

"No" Ron elbowed his side "I told Hermione you need space, but you know how she is" He shrugged "And she has some... ideas"

Harry swallowed as they neared the main entrance of the castle. Would there be guards there?

"Ideas? About?"

"Your friendship with Malfoy"

"Ah" No guards. If the arurors hadn't set up guards at the entrance or outside, then they didn't want to keep something from going _in,_ they wanted to keep something -or someone- from going _out_ of the Castle. Interesting.

Harry could feel Ron's gaze on him, but he pretended he wasn't nervous about it.

"It's fine, you know?"

Harry gave him a brief look and then focused on walking towards the main doors. They were closed, so they would be loud when opened... A silencing charm should do the trick.

"Whatever it is, it's okay"

Harry opened the doors just barely and slid inside with him. The main hall was barely lit and whispers could be heard from the hallways. The inside of the Castle was a complete opposite from the outside. Teachers were rushing, Aurors talking and probably running to use the fireplace inside the headmistress' office to report back to the ministry.

They would have to be very careful, unless they wanted to get caught and end up... Harry had a brief realization: what could they do to him? Expel him? McGonagall was a fair woman, and she would probably punish him just like any other student, but it didn't matter to him anymore.

Detention was bothersome, yes, but at least he would have something to do and keep busy. How old he felt right then and there, how far away from his teenage years he was.

"It's nothing, Ron" Harry whispered, walking towards the Infirmary. It was risky going straight for the victim, since she would be heavily guarded but it was the best lead they had and if she was transferred to San Mungo's they wouldn't get another chance.

"It sure is _something,_ mate" Ron sounded so nonchalant about it, it almost made Harry relax. What Ron was saying was basically that he _knew_ he had a thing with Malfoy and that it was fine, which was incredibly strange and unexpected. But nice. Real nice. Harry sighed and stopped, looking at his friend, trying to keep his calm demeanor.

"We are friends, alright? He's not as bad as he was. That's all. I know you don't like him and don't like seeing him at the Tower, but..." How to explain _that_? "Some things have happened. The attacks and... all of that, and it's just... it's better this way" Yeah, there wasn't really a good explanation as to why he wanted to sleep next to Draco. Well, there _was_ an explanation, but not one he wanted to give.

"Hm, sure" Ron shrugged "I just wanted to say I'm your friend. No matter what you choose to do"

Harry wanted to say he wasn't choosing anything, that he hadn't chosen this but he didn't find the words. Because finding the words meant admitting something _was_ happening, and he didn't even know if Draco would be okay with him saying this to his friends.

Well, that wasn't true. He knew Draco didn't want anyone knowing about this, and he couldn't imagine a world where Draco and Ron would ever be friendly with each other. And, yeah, Ron was a great friend, but he didn't want to give him power over Draco. Saying him and Draco were romantically -Merlin- involved was dangerous. He didn't think Ron would go saying it around or anything, but if they fought and Draco said something hurtful and Ron wanted to hurt him… it could get out of hand.

Harry pressed his lips together and looked down to his feet. "Thanks, Ron"

"Don't worry about it" He was going to say something else, when they heard talking coming from the Infirmary's door. Two aurors were standing there with the Headmistress and Madame Pomfrey. The inside of the infirmary was all lit up and they could see a girl laying on one of the beds. She didn't look as ashen faced as the other two victims had been.

"Are you sure?" McGonagall asked, looking at Pomfrey with a worried frown on her face.

"Yes. Her wounds are self inflicted, at least the ones on her arm. It seems this was not another attack but... a suicide attempt, Minerva"

There was a brief moment of silence among the group, until one of the aurors, the young one, spoke again. "We can't be sure of it. The girl was pretty shaken and that ghost is not speaking to us"

"Auror Bell" McGonagall sounded annoyed at best, furious at worst "I'm afraid the only thing we have accomplish bringing you here is stress my students. I can handle this school on my own. I think it's time I have a chat with the Head of Aurors, Mr. Bell. Now please, I would like all of you to stop terrorizing the students"

The scene was tense, but the young auror didn't back down. Harry wanted to be like that, strong, focus, determined, with a purpose.

"I'm sorry, Headmistress but I can't leave the school and I can't stop what we started. The students must be protected by us, unless we are given different orders"

"You will be hearing those orders very soon, young man." She looked to Pomfrey "Poppy, a word?"

And like that the group dissolved. The headmistress disappeared with Pomfrey inside the Infirmary and the teachers all left, probably to their own bedrooms. But this wasn't enough, he... he needed to know what they were talking. Harry gritted his teeth, he didn't know who to follow, or who would have the best information available.

"Harry, we have to talk to her. Remember?"

"Yes..." Harry looked over to where the auror had gone but decided Ron was right. They should go speak with the girl, and then with Myrtle and be done with it.

They entered the Infirmary without a worry, really, since Pomfrey and McGonagall were deep in conversation behind closed doors. It was risky to uncover themselves while they were still in there, but Harry trusted it would take them a while to sort things out.

"Who's there?" The girl said, worried, shaking as she tried to sit upright. This was clearly different, all the other victims had been passed out, completely gone.

"It's alright. We won't hurt you" Harry said, uncovering himself and Ron but keeping the cloak close, just in case.

"What do you want?" She frowned at them, her Slytherin robes messy and dirty.

"We just want to talk" Ron tried, in a tone that surprised Harry: it was soothing and parent-like. It was the same tone an adult uses with a child. Merlin, they had really aged in just a few years, hadn't they?  
  
"You don't want to chat, you want me to tell you what happened. Well I don't want to talk to you. Get out"

Harry frowned, she was being... incredibly unusual. Maybe it had been a suicide attempt, and they were bothering the poor girl. No. It couldn't be... could it? He remembered her of something, of somewhere but he couldn't put his finger on it.

"Beatrice, that's your name, yes?" She stared at him "We just want to catch the guy who did this to you"

The young slytherin smirked at him, and it chilled Harry to the bones. It was odd, seeing someone so young look so... menacing. "Nobody did this to me. You should go back to your bedroom, Potter, or I might tell the Headmistress someone came to see me"

Ron crossed his arms "You can tell her whatever you want, we've got people who will say we were in our bedrooms all night. And right now you are the one on a hospital bed and they think _you_ tried to kill yourself, so I doubt they'll believe you"

Her eyes widened for a moment and then she shrugged, looking away "This school needs some better management, if students are getting hurt so often"

Harry tightened his jaw and didn't say a word, giving her space to speak. It was clear she knew more than she was saying. Was she in on it? It was hard to imagine someone so petite harming a student like Elliot.

"Ow! Oh, my arm!" She said loudly, trying to draw attention from Madame Pomfrey. Harry quickly covered both of them with the cloak, moving away while the girl eyed his cloak with interest. She was a great actress, a moment she was snickering and telling them off and the next one she was whimpering like a scared puppy, her eyes filled with tears.

Pomfrey appeared followed by the Headmistress. They had to get away from there. It was clear Beatrice had found a way to get rid of them, and that pissed him off. Ron had been more quiet, observing everything but he knew he felt the same way.

They made their way outside after the Headmistress, trying to be as quiet as possible. She didn't turn around, not even once. Harry had a strong suspicion Minerva was completely aware they had been there -she transformed herself into a Cat, for Merlin's sake!- but said nothing. It wouldn't be surprising, especially if she needed the help and felt alone.

What Beatrice had said about the school didn't sit well with him. And the idea of an auror -or aurors- working against the school right after the War was... unsettling. If they didn't know who to trust, then perhaps McGonagall didn't know either and was trying to keep appearances as much as she could.

Harry had to talk to her, without an auror around. He had to be honest about things, as he had been with Dumbledore. A knot appeared on his belly at the memory of the old man.

"That girl was mad" Ron whispered, hurrying up the stairs towards the second floor bathroom. Harry nodded, but his eyes were glued to his map, making sure no one would catch them.

***

Hermione sat on the edge of Ron's bed, with Draco right in front of her, both of them staring at the window and wondering where the two Gryffindors were.

"It's about to rain" Hermione found herself saying, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yes" Draco kept his eyes on the darkness beyond the window's glass. "I guess so"

She nodded and after giving Draco a small glance, she focused on the clouds and the night sky above Hogwarts. They should be helping Harry and Ron, they both should be outside and yet, here they were. Inside. Useless.

"Thank you"

The words caught her by surprise, so much so she could barely hide it. Hermione stared at him, wide eyed. "What?"

"I know you want to be out there with them, and you had no reason to stay behind. I know why you did"

She shrugged "I wasn't going to leave you here alone, not with what's going on"

"You would be justified if you did" He answered, his eyes finally meeting hers "I have been horrible to you. With no reason"

Merlin.

"You have"

Draco swallowed, he seemed so young and helpless right there. This was strange and yet, they both knew it had to happen.

"I am sorry. I do not expect to be forgiven, but I _am_ sorry. For everything"

"I-... Good" she whispered, part of her wanting to say it was okay and that he was forgiven but... It was too soon. Just thinking about everything she had lost brought tears to her eyes. She forced a small smile and shifted on the bed, trying to look relaxed.

Malfoy turned to the window as the first raindrops started to hit the glass. Why weren't they coming back already? What could be taking them so long? Were they okay?

"I'm glad" Hermione said, her voice a bit hoarse "I'm glad you and Harry are... Friends"

Draco stared at her, grey eyes questioning her wording. She had a theory, or maybe more than one, about what was going on between him and Harry. And she also knew she couldn't just talk about it outright.

"Me too" The Slytherin finally said, his words calculated. Hermione could see he wasn't giving any information. He was secretive, closed off, cold. Was this what Harry wanted? She thought about Ginny and how different they were - in more ways than one.

"He trusts you" Draco seemed taken aback by that, looking at the window then back at Hermione and then towards the window again. A frown on his face. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes"

"Good" The silence was uncomfortable now, but she didn't want to let go. She needed to know. Protecting Harry was one of the things she would always do. They were family. "How long?"

Draco knew what she was asking right away "Since October?"

"He... Does he sleep at all?"

Draco looked down and nodded "He has nightmares"

"Do you?"

"Yes" Draco seemed annoyed and yet he was being honest. Did he feel like he owed that to her? He probably did, and she wasn't going to waste the opportunity.

"Do you at least comfort him? When he has one?"

"I-..." He seemed caught and ready to run "I wake him up"

"And that's enough?"

"Sometimes"

"And when it's not enough?"

"Granger, _don't_ push" His words came through gritted teeth, she had struck a nerve. For a brief moment, she wondered if he would insult her, call her a mudblood.

"Harry deserves..."

His eyes focused on her almost immediately. They were grey, the color of ice through a cloudy day, and yet she saw the fire behind them. Draco was furious, or determined, it was hard to know which. Hermione barely remembered the eleven year old she had met so long ago, the boy that was horrible but easy to read. Perhaps there had always been more to him than she thought. Did Harry see that?

" _Please_ tell me, _what_ does Harry deserve? Because everyone knows what he _deserves_ but what about what he _WANTS_?"

She felt as if someone had slapped her. "Of course I care about what he.... What? Are you saying _you_ are what he wants?"

"Well, maybe I am" He spoke clearly and without thinking, Hermione could see that from the way he reacted to his own words. He had said too much, showed too much, and now Hermione definitely knew something was going on. Still, it didn't ease her worries. What if Harry wanted someone like Draco because...? It was horrible to think so badly of someone, but she feared this was a way of self sabotage. Harry had never had a chance to live his life, he had only known pain and hardship. Now he was free to do as he pleased, and what did he do? Go and start... an affair with his long time rival. Hermione knew he could have something nice with Ginny, and Ginny was in love with him. How could that not be enough?

She bit down her lip, looking towards the window and trying to clear her  head. Harry had never said anything about boys... And if this was all about boys then surely there was someone better...? She closed her eyes, feeling disgust at her own train of thought.

"I don't know what he wants, Draco" She finally said "Do you?"

Draco shrugged, resting his shoulder against one of the bed posts. "Sometimes I think I do... But I don't think he knows, not really"

"He's pulling away from us. We are his friends and we care, could you...?"

"I didn't force him to come talk to me, you know? He just wants to be left alone" He looked back at her "No one is fine right now, Granger, don't expect him to be fine. Just... Give him space"

"He doesn't seem to want _space_ from you"

Draco arched an eyebrow and shrugged, not really willing to say anything to that. Perhaps she was being too harsh on him. "No, but I am not his best friend. Look, Granger, he... Just be his friend? Without all the fussing and worrying"

She frowned and crossed her arms, slightly offended. "Fine"

"He's not avoiding you, you know?" it was a small whisper, but she heard it

"Then Who? Ron?"

"I-... Yes. And the W-... Ginny"

"Ah"

Draco rolled his eyes at her expression "Don't worry, I am sure they will kiss and make up soon enough"

She didn't expect to hear that from her, but it didn't ease her worries. If what she thought was right, then was Draco just playing with Harry? Was it not serious at all? Why would Draco think Harry was going to go back to Ginny? Was it just his insecurity speaking or something more?

"I'm not so sure about that anymore" She admitted, and he gave her a sideways look, pretending like he didn't care.

 

***

Going to Myrtle's bathroom had been pointless. They had tested the blood on the floor but hadn't found a magical signature, except for Beatrice's. And Myrtle had been in a foul mood, she had screeched and yelled telling them to leave.

Harry had tried to explain to her what had happened and why they needed her help but she didn't care. After a couple minutes she had started to call Harry murderer like she had done that awful night, and they decided to leave her alone.

Defeated, they made their way back to the Tower. It was getting late and nothing was going to come of it. The aurors were still running up and down the castle, blocking important places they could go. And Harry was still unsettled by the chat they had had with the new 'victim'.

"Good night, mate" Ron whispered, finding that Hermione was no longer in their bedroom. Neville was sleeping in his bed, and there was a body on Harry's bed.

It was odd, but it felt right to see Draco there. Harry wondered why he hadn't closed the curtains, but he didn't mind. The slytherin had his back to them, laying under the blankets and most people would have thought he was sleeping. Not Harry, he knew him to well.

Ron did a double take of the blonde head on his friends bed but said nothing of it, shrugging and jumping to his own bed, clearly exhausted.

Harry took off his shoes and tie, and got on the bed next to him, his wand closed the curtains around them, and he laid back against the bed's pillows, trying to relax. It would be almost impossible after what had happened and what he had heard.

"Granger went to sleep a while ago" Malfoy said, his back still turned to Harry and his body under the covers. Harry knew how strange it was to see him there, in his bed, and still it felt as if it had to be this way.

"Ah, hm. I figured" Harry looked around and realized he hadn't set the silencing spell so he proceeded to do so. "Do you think you could talk to Myrtle?"

Draco turned around, staring at him with a frown "Why can't you talk to her?"

"She is the only witness and she's not speaking to anyone. Maybe if you... If _we_ go together...?"

"Sure"

Harry took off his glasses, pressing a couple fingers to the side of his head and trying not to feel too stressed about what was going on. He failed.

"Can you see anything without your glasses?"

"No. The world is blurry if I don't have them on"

"Good"

"Good?"

"Yes" Draco took the glasses off his hands and kept them away from him.

"What are you doing, Malfoy?"

"oh, I am _Malfoy_ now?"

Harry could feel him close and almost see... An eye? His blond hair was pretty clear to him, well, there was a stain that he was sure was his hair...?

"It's easier to speak if I know you can't see me"

Ah. Harry nodded, still trying to focus his eyes -he was going to end up with a head ache but he really wanted to know him more. And he... Maybe it was time to let someone else know him as well? He was terrible at sharing anything about his life, or his feelings or dreams... Did he have any dreams? Merlin, he had tried not to have any as a child but they had been there. At first his dreams were all about leaving the Dursleys, maybe having a nice job and a little house. After discovering the wizarding world, his dreams had been much more loud, giving him hope for the future. At least for a while. At least until Sirius died.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Pick a topic?"

Harry chuckled, this was classic Draco. "Alright, how do you feel?"

"I am fine, Potter. How are you?"

"Exhausted, actually. And I don't know if I want to solve what's going on because I care or because I need something to make me feel... Useful again" There was a small silence after that, Harry had no idea how Draco was reacting and he really would have liked to see it "I thought you wanted to speak to me about stuff, not the other way around?"

"You don't have to have a case to be useful, you already are" He was using a calm tone, but one that said _'I am convinced this is true, so trust me'_. "I am sorry you were dragged into this because of me"

"It's fine" Harry waved his hand a little bit, trying to grab his glasses but he only found Draco's hand. Alright. If he had to surrender his eyesight just to hold his hand then he would do it.

"Granger has... _Ideas_ about us" he whispered and Harry sighed.

"She has ideas about everything. I haven't told her anything..."

"I know"

"Are you okay?"

"No"

Harry pulled at his hand, trying to get him a bit closer to his body but Draco didn't seem to move. Damn it, would this fuck things up? Neither of them wanted 'this' to be public knowledge but Hermione wouldn't say anything. Besides, after his talk with Ron he felt much more confident and... Loved. It was a weird feeling, yeah, but it was nice to be accepted - in a way. Even if he knew his... Whatever with Malfoy wouldn't be accepted. At least 'he' was.

"You... Understand why I worry about it?"

Harry wanted to say that yes, of course, because he also worried. But it wasn't the same, was it? Harry worried his friends would be angry at his choice of partner, he feared they would be disappointed in him, and of course he feared the possibility of them being disgusted, but he didn't think they would hate him. He didn't have to worry about being shun away from them. Draco had Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy as parents, and those two - if they were anything as the pure blood wizards Harry had been reading about- would be ready to shun Draco if he were to bring shame to the family. And what's more shameful than not only be dating a guy but that guy being your family's nemesis? The one that brought your name to ruin, basically?

"Because of your parents?"

"Yes"

"I'm sorry... I... Will support you in any way that I can, if anything bad happens"

"Potter, I don't want nor need-"

"It's not pity, Draco" Harry intertwined his fingers with Draco's "Look, we're in this... Mess together. Yeah?" he tried smiling a bit, maybe that would relax the slytherin.

"It _is_ nice. This mess, I mean"

Harry smiled wider, and nodded. "Yeah, it is"

"Good"

Harry wanted to reach out, but he really couldn't see. And what if he ended up kissing Draco's nose or eye like an idiot? Oh, but he really wanted to kiss him. And as the silence grew bigger Harry wondered if Draco was thinking the same thing, if he also wanted to kiss him but didn't dare to do so.

"We should sleep"

"Yeah"

Nobody moved. Draco didn't even let go of his hand, which clearly told him they were still close, facing each other. Merlin, why was it so Hard to just...?

"Will they really be mad about it?" Harry decided to talk because otherwise he was going to go insane from desiring him.

"Yes"

"How do you think they'll react?"

There was a brief pause, their fingers still intertwined "Father will be angry, furious even. He will try not to scream but fail. He will let me know I am a disgrace, that no one in the family has ever been... _This way_. He will tell me how disappointed he is, how he's never been proud of me, how disgusting I am" Draco sounded broken, his voice a small whisper as if he had tried to hide his pain for too long. He knew this was one of those important things you don't speak with a stranger. So he quickly sat upright, reaching out and finding his glasses. Harry put them on again and focused on Draco. The boy was looking down, frowning at the sheets "He'll probably tell me I won't have my inheritance or their support if I..." he closed his eyes "Mother will be silent. She usually is. Once it's all said and done she will tell me to go clean up and never speak of it again"

"That's terrible" Harry moved a bit closer, not knowing what to do or say. What Draco had described was... Well, exactly how he imagined Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy. "But... Are you sure you are not...?"

"What? Exaggerating? I know my family, Potter. I know what happens... The scene is always the same. Every little transgression is met with the same treatment" He sounded in pain, in some horrible secret pain.

"Draco" Harry tried again, tightening the grip on his hand "if there's one thing I am sure of is that your parents love you"

"Not everyone loves in a good way, Potter"

What to say to that? He was right. Of course he was. Had his aunt and uncle ever loved _him_ or his deceased mother? Perhaps. Had Snape truly loved his mother? Had that love done any good to anyone? Had Dumbledore ever truly cared for him? Had Harry ever felt truly loved, despite having good people around? When people talked about love and family, he got glimpses, moments of his life: Molly hugging him, Sirius smiling proudly, Remus telling him stories about his mom, laughing with Ron, dancing with Hermione, Christmas at the Burrow...

"I don't wish to fight" Harry said softly "you know how I feel about your father, and maybe he won't change, ever. But I do know your mom loves you. Didn't she use to send you sweets all the time?" Draco smiled, but very briefly and very sadly. "Draco, when she knew you were okay.. That's what she asked, you know? When Voldemort had me. She asked if you were alive... When she knew, she didn't care anymore. She bought me time, and if _he_ had realized she was lying... She was willing to die for you, Draco" Harry felt... He didnt _like_ Narcissa, but he felt some sort of respect for her. She had been willing to do what his mother had done many years before, in a way. And he had no doubt in his mind she would die for Draco. He wasn't so sure about Lucius.

"This is not... Up for debate with them"

"How do you know? You never told them" Draco stared at him, with a mix of frustration and fear. "Look, I know it's hard and it sucks... But you are not alone. I will be there and... Hermione and Ron as well"

"Potter"

"No, I mean it. They... It might take a while for Ron to accept you, with everything that happened to his family but he will. And even if they are a bit cold now they are the most loyal people I know. They are not waiting to kick you when you are down. Okay?"

Draco swallowed, looking lost and unable to speak. He finally nodded."Thank you"

Harry decided to be bold, so he moved a bit closer and pulled Draco in for a hug. "No matter what happens, you won't be alone"

The hug was warm, as anything involving Draco was. Harry was still amazed at how someone who looked and acted so distant and cold could be this warm in private. Harry had always known Draco put up an act in front of everyone, but he had always imagined him to be equally obnoxious in private, only less confident. Now he knew he had been wrong.

"Draco...?"

"Yes?" His voice still sounded a bit shaky, as if he was trying to hide some tears.

"... I like it when you are honest" For some reason, Draco punched his shoulder. Not too harshly, of course, but it took him by surprise "Hey!"

"You are the tight lipped one, Potter"

"There's not much to tell, _Malfoy_ "

"Why? Because you were one of the good guys?" Harry almost expected Draco to pull away from the embrace, but he actually buried his face a bit more against his neck.

"No. I... I suck at this"

"Hard for you, mh? Admitting there's something you do poorly?"

"Oi!"

He laughed and that made Harry smile a little bit, his arms around Draco. He had started to rub his back a bit, pulling him even closer.

"It's not like people care about me, they just care about the _hero_ , the _boy who lived_. They are all filled with their stupid fairytales, it's all rubbish"

Draco planted a kiss on his neck, leaving his lips over his skin and Harry lost track of what he was saying. "The hat was right, you sound like a Slytherin sometimes"

"... Thanks?"

Draco kissed his skin again, and Harry wondered if he was aware of what he was doing to his body. He probably was, the asshole.

"I told you more than anyone, and I don't expect you to do the same but..."

"If I want to you'll listen. Got it" Harry nodded and moved, barely pulling away to see his face "I... Will, I just... No one ever... cared?"

"I care"

Harry smiled and reached for his cheek, touching it for a moment before Draco moved closer and closer and close enough for them to finally kiss. He had wanted to do this all day, all fucking day. He closed his eyes and kissed back, feeling Draco's lips and the way his tongue brushed gently against his from time to time. It was slow and lazy and yet Harry felt perfect. Draco moved a bit closer, forcing him to spread his legs a bit to make room for him. It was really comfortable, having Draco slightly sideways between his legs, holding his face and kissing him. Both of Draco's legs were over one of his, so he had to hold him close with his arms - which was perfect.

Slowly but surely the kiss started to pick up, it became faster, messier, hungrier. Harry tried to contain himself, but he wasn't the only one feeling that way; Draco's hands left his face to pull at him from his shirt. Moving away or stopping didn't even cross his mind, as he allowed himself to be pulled closer and closer. Due to the position they were in, every time Draco tugged at his shirt, Harry ended up more and more on top of him.

Moving in such a small bed wasn't easy, and Harry quickly realized that, as their legs clashed when Draco tried to lay down on the bed underneath him. It didn't detract Harry from kissing him even harder, the soft brushes of tongue sending electricity through his body, waking pieces of skin he had never felt before. Harry could feel Draco's flat chest pressed against his own, hell, he could feel all of Draco pressed against him and it was driving him insane.

Deep down he knew what to do, or at least his body knew what to do to get over the ache that had settled on his stomach. Harry moved onto his neck, starting to kiss and bite his skin just like before trying to get those incredible sounds that drove him crazy. The slytherin immediately turned his head, giving him complete power over his neck, soft whimpers leaving his lips. And Harry wanted more and more and more... And their hips were so pressed together there was nowhere to hide. Harry didn't know if he wanted to hide anymore.

While he focused on his skin, Draco's fingers had found their way underneath Harry's shirt. The contact of his soft warm fingers against his hot skin made him moan -and blush from embarrassment-. Draco stopped his hands but he wanted them everywhere. Merlin, he wanted Draco to keep touching, to touch more and more. He wanted to take off their shirts, hell, all of their clothes and... And...

"Have you ever...?" Draco asked, his hands unmoving on his lower back. Harry breathed in, pressing his hands to the mattress to pull back and look him in the eyes.

"No. You?"

"No..."

"What? Really? Never?"

Draco had his hair all tousled, his lips a darker shade of pink than usual and a bite sized mark on his neck. That alone almost made Harry press their hips together even harder.

"Never" Draco unbuttoned only one of his buttons, clearly controlling himself "And I won't in here"

"Oh. I... No... I didn't... I... We..."

Draco chuckled "This is fine. It's just that your friend is sleeping right there?"

Great point. Sadly, mentioning Ron was something that could really kill the mood they were in. Merlin's beard, he didn't want to admit just how hard he was from snogging Malfoy. And he imagined Draco didn't want to admit the same.

"I... Didn't think about that, sorry"

"You are spontaneous, I like it"

Was it flirting? Were they flirting? Harry wanted to believe they were, but at the same time he knew how awful he was at flirting and he didn't want to ruin it.

"And you are a planner?"

"Most of the time... Not for this. I... It's just that..."

Harry moved slowly back from him, sitting on the bed and waiting for Draco to do the same. When he did, they both stared at each other, hungry and desperate to jump at each other again.

"Not ready?"

"No" Draco simply said "I think not"

"'s alright. I never even considered..." Harry looked down at the red sheets. Did they really need to be so serious about this? It would happen or it wouldn't and... There was no rush. Harry breathed out and smiled, more relaxed "It's the red sheets, isn't it? Not good enough for a Slytherin"

When he looked up, Draco was smiling, even though his breathing was still erratic and Harry was sure they were both half hard still.

"Yup, it really kills my mood, Potter"

"Ah, I knew it" Harry laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling and quickly felt Draco sliding in by his side. He didn't touch him much or he would start snogging him again and they would take it way too far.

Harry looked at him by his side "So..."

"Hm?"

"You are a romantic"

Draco laughed "I don't think you know what that word even means, Harry"

"Oh, but you do?"

"Not exactly" He looked away, a small frown on his face "I never told you how I met the second victim, Adam, did I?"

What did that have to do with anything? Harry tried to focus on the conversation and not in the strong urge to disappear to the bathroom for a little while.

"Friends of your family?"

"Yes, his parents were friends of mine. But we were never friends. We used to see each other during dinner parties or meetings and be polite and that was that. He was... _Is_ younger after all and he is not a Death Eater so I didn't really have a reason to know him well but... " Draco was breathing more slowly now, calming himself, it was amazing the level of control he had on his own body. Harry couldn't shake off his need yet, but he had a feeling the conversation would certainly cool him off. "When the war... When _you-know-who_ was at the Manor, he wasn't the only one. Death eaters came and went and some were stationed there. One of them was, I don't know... Twenty, twenty-two years old? The manor was my home... I knew it better than anyone else, every little nook and cranny so no one could really hide anything there." He shifted a little bit, still looking up "I found a letter written to this Death Eater from Adam. I... It was sweet, romantic. That was romance, I guess. I should have reported it... It was contraband, after all"

"What did you do?"

"I offered to smuggle the letters for them"

Harry turned to see him and smiled "That was really nice of you"

"It was madness. I guess everything was so... Dark and death was everywhere, I just needed to do something right. One thing. At least _one_." Draco looked away again "I shouldn't have... Those things never end well"

_Those_ things, Harry wondered what he meant by that: the star crossed romance, the smuggling letters, the war or simply two boys having feelings for each other?

"And how did it end?"

"Well, our classmate's lover was tortured to madness. I think you can find him right next to Neville's parents" Yeah, the conversation definitely turned Harry 's blood cold. Every little bit of desire and need and giddiness he had felt was long gone now, replaced by bitterness and frustration. "And then the other one was attacked here and his state is unknown" there was a long pause "perhaps he was happy"

"What?"

"Adam, when he was attacked" Draco looked at him. "If someone butchered the one I love in that way... I don't know if I could handle it. Live with it, you know? Perhaps when he was attacked he thought he was dying. Maybe he wanted it"

Harry wanted to say something nice like "maybe they will get together again' or 'he could get better' but he knew how bad  Neville's parents' state was and he was sure there's no coming back from it. So instead he held Draco's hand over the blankets and allowed the silence to fill in the empty holes on their souls.

"Neville's mom... I think she shows her love in the way she is able to"

Draco frowned "How would you know that? Nobody knows shit about Longbottom's parents, Potter. I didn't know. I wouldn't know if my auntie hadn't bragged about it every waking moment" He closed his eyed, pained. Memories flooding back, for sure. And he could understand why. Bellstrix Lestrange had been a horrible human, sadistic, without a shred of empathy. Harry remembered her laughter and her taunts after killing Sirius. Oh, he hated her still. What things had she done to the poor Longbottoms? And how would she tell it?

"I met them, Draco. Neville was ashamed, I guess he still is... I respected him so much more after that" The blond said nothing and Harry didn't push, they were both shaken by the mixture of pleasure followed by the despair that seemed to rule their lives.

"Did she really? Show affection?"

"In... In a way. Is Adam the only other boy that... That you knew that is...? I mean, the only boy that you knew was involved with another boy?" Harry felt ashamed at how hard it was for him to ask a simple question, but being honest he felt insecure about all of this. He still didn't know the wizarding world, not completely. What if it was forbidden? No... Surely he would know such a thing, right?

"Yes, and no"

"Then you can't say that it always ends badly... Wait, what?"

"I know of others that have these... _Inclinations_ "

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing"

"Is it not?"

"No" Harry answered so quickly he surprised himself. Sometimes he forgot simple mundane things were not so simple nor clear for Draco. His parents had fucked his world view so much for so many years that Harry wondered if he would ever recover. Of course he had changed, and his views as well, but would he ever get rid of all the emotional hurt?

"Ah" Draco barely moved, but his thumb caressed Harry's hand in a gentle stroke. It almost said 'sorry', or at least that was what Harry thought "I guess it's different for muggle borns"

"First of all, my parents were both wizards - not that it matters. And no, the muggle world is much more complicated than that. I don't really... Know much about that world either. And no, it's not exactly _accepting_ "

Draco moved his head and then his whole body to be facing him, their hands still together between them "So, are you?"

Harry moved as to mirror him, and looked into his eyes "I don't know what I am. How did you know?"

"I just knew. Always known, actually" He was whispering, clutching at his hand now. "It's just something you feel"

"Yeah, well, my feelings and I... We are..."

"A mess?" Draco barely smirked and ran a hand through Harry's hair " _Shocking_ "

"Oi, not everyone has time to ogle boys and kiss whomever or whatever it is you did"

"I did none of that" Draco sounded amused "But it does sound terribly specific. Did you ogle boys?"

" _No_ "

Draco laughed, and it was a beautiful one. "Sure, whatever you say... If you don't know what you are then... Are you going to get back with the Weasley girl?"

Oh. Fuck.

Also: what? Harry could not understand what made Draco so insecure. And with that, he realized a simple truth: Draco was jealous. Simple as that. Harry smiled at the realization.

"Ah. So you will?" Draco was about to let go of him hand when Harry pulled at it a bit.

"No, you absolute tosser. Why would I go back with her when we...? When we are, you know, _us_ "

For a split second Draco seemed lost, but something in Harry's face must have told him he was being honest because he smiled back and intertwined their fingers again.

"Just checking"

"Hm, yeah, right" Harry smirked but pulled him in for a hug "Jealousy suits you"

"Jealousy suits no one, but okay" Draco said against his shirt, closing his eyes and keeping Harry pressed tightly against him. They were bound to sleep together that night and perhaps it would be a good one, despite everything that had happened.

Harry realized he had told nothing about his talk to the girl -Draco hadn't asked, and kissing had seemed such a needed distraction. He wondered if he should say it now but... it was late, they were tired, and Draco was clutching him to tightly it didn't feel right to just go back to something that stressed them.

It was better to sleep, at least for the night. To rest. If they could.

***

Narcissa Malfoy carefully folded the letter with the Hogwarts crest on it, and got up from her desk to go find her husband. The house they were living in had all the appropriate commodities and it was situated in a beautiful wizard town in France. It was everything anyone could have asked of a vacation. Of course, this was house arrest and trying to find something to keep her mind occupied was proving harder and harder.

She smiled to a couple aurors inside her kitchen, trying not to be _extremely_ rude to them. The check ins were daily, and some stayed outside to protect them. The Ministry had assured them this was only during the first two years, to make sure no one would hurt them. Narcissa knew the reality was they didn't want them to escape. Why would they? They weren't born to live as fugitives.

She held her dress slightly up while she went upstairs, the letter clutched on her left hand. Lucius would be inside his study. She worried about him, he wasn't strong as she was. Something like public disgrace, or losing power did not go well with Lucius. And now the house arrest? She had to be strong for him, to make him remember who he was. Who they were.

She knocked on the door, knowing he didn't like being disturbed "Darling"

There was silence on the other side and some rustling "Come in" He said. She remembered the first time they had seen each other: it hadn't been special at all, they had met at Hogwarts. At the time they had been children, smiling or saying 'hi' and nothing more. When their families decided they would be wed, she hadn't been exactly happy. Of course she said nothing. She knew Andromeda was... about to do something reckless. She couldn't abandon her family, she couldn't bring more shame to it. So she agreed. Lucius represented a good future.

Narcissa had never expected to love him. At first she wasn't sure Lucius wanted to marry her either, but he was very good at concealing his emotions. She had been so captivated by that, she wanted to learn. And so he taught her. And they became close.

She remembered the moment she knew she loved him: it had been her third miscarriage, and she was crying in the bathroom floor, clutching at her dress. In that moment she had been so terribly lonely, no family to write, no sisters, no parents. And then Lucius was there, calm Lucius, gentle Lucius. A Lucius only she knew. He had touched her blond hair, whispered something in her ear -what was it? she couldn't remember now, she had been sobbing so loudly-. She remembered how he prepared the bath for her, how he sat on the floor, clutching at her hand while she washed. He hadn't moved from her side during the ordeal. Narcissa had been so sure he was going to get sick and tired of her, perhaps find a new wife, annul their marriage. But he didn't.

And then Draco came to their lives. She had never been happier.

Lucius finally opened the door, wearing something much more informal than he usually did. Narcissa wondered why he never allowed their son to see him like this. There had been a time, a simpler time, when Draco had admired and adored his father. They had been incredibly happy, and yes, Lucius had been hard but Draco had learnt well. He was a well behaved boy.

Narcissa worried for him as well. Draco wasn't as strong as them, he wasn't made with the same materials they were. He would never be happy with the choices he had had to make. And Narcissa only wanted her son to be happy. Her only son.

"We got a letter from Hogwarts" She announced while he walked back to his chair, arching and eyebrow.

"What has he done now?"

She rolled her eyes "Nothing. The headmistress wanted to inform us... some things have happened. She believes it would be best for Draco to come here during the weekends"

Lucius frowned and sat back "Why?"

"Does it matter? Draco should be with us, he belongs here. Not with them"

"Narcissa" Lucius looked at her and shook his head "Write back, tell her he won't come home"

"Lucius"

"No, Narcissa. He is a man now, let him face whatever he has to on his own. He made that pretty clear, no?"

Narcissa pressed her lips together. There had been a fight before Draco went back to Hogwarts. It was clear her son no longer believed the things they had so carefully taught him. He was following a path that displeased her -and Lucius- but he was alive. They had seen what the Dark Lord had in store for them, and it wasn't a good future.

Narcissa would never say that to Lucius, but she knew the life of her only son was worth a lot more than how she felt about mudbloods. Besides, she never imagined Draco would stand up to Lucius in the way that he did. It had made her proud, in a weird way, seeing him with a strength she doubted he had. It made her believe that perhaps her son would survive all of this unscarred.

"Lucius, if he's not well..."

"He is old enough, Narcissa"

She sighed and looked at the letter on her hand "I will write to the headmistress"

Narcissa turned to the door, displeased but conceding.

"Cissy"

She stopped, a hand on the doorknob and turned just enough to see his face.

"You look lovely today"

"Thank you, darling" She whispered, he didn't look well. "Will you join me for dinner tonight?"

"Yes"

She knew he was lying.

"Lucius?" He tilted his head but didn't speak "Draco _has_ written, a couple of days ago. He was careful with his words but we have a specific code" She smiled, loving the way she could understand his son. Even if sometimes she couldn't even recognize him from the baby she had held so many years ago "He would like to know if you know anything about the attacks that have been happening at Hogwarts"

Lucius chuckled "Oh, he suspects me? Perhaps we should suspect him as well. He took the mark gladly, Narcissa. Let's not make me the evil one on this story"

"No one is blaming anyone. I think he is trying to understand if what's happening has something to do with our family"

"Everything has to do with our family" Lucius sighed and looked at her "You can tell him that his father has no contact with the outside world, but as far as I have heard from our unwanted visitors" The aurors, always coming and going... "There seems to be people that do not think the Headmistress is doing a good job. I would presume that students getting hurt under her care is not a good sign. If someone, let's say, with power inside the ministry and ties to _our_ side wished for the school to be run by someone more _agreeable_ this would be a good way to get her out of that spot. Don't you think so?"

Even though she was sure Lucius had nothing to do with anything anymore -how could he? trapped in there-, it was amazing how good he was at reading a situation. Even with only bits and pieces of information.

"Thank you, my love" She said, thinking of how to write all of that to Draco. The aurors would read her letter, and she had to be careful.

Of course, she would also have to write to the Headmistress to let her know Draco was... not welcome home. It weighted heavy on her heart to be like this, and she only hoped her son had not been told of the possibility of going home. She didn't know how much it would crush him to be rejected, but she had a strong idea.

And she would never, ever turn away from her son. They were the only family she had left.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who just finished another year of college? :)  
> Hope you enjoyed! xx


	17. Second Dates

"Ouch" Draco whimpered, feeling the pressure on his shoulders. They had woken up half an hour ago, tangled in each other. Even if they wanted to continue sleeping and forget about the world, they knew they had to face what had happened the night before.

Jokingly, Draco had complained of his sore back and how holding Harry all night didn't help. The Gryffindor hadn't been mad at all, instead he offered to give him a massage. Draco almost wanted to complain, but it was so easy to simply relax around Harry, so he didn't. Harry's hands were touching his shoulders and near his neck, kneading the skin and his sore muscles. It hurt a bit, but Draco didn't mind because it was Harry's hands over him. The same way he didn't mind how much his heart ached when they kissed, because it was Harry who he was kissing.

"Any better?" Harry asked, sitting behind him almost trapping him between his legs.

"Thank you" He responded, touching one of Harry's hands and keeping them together over his shoulder for a brief moment.

"Nah, it's alright. I don't know if I'm any good at it" Oh, but he was. Harry leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek, making Draco lean back and turn slightly so they could kiss.

They weren't hungry like the night before, just soft, caring. Draco was sure he had never felt... So much love for someone as he did in that moment. He remembered something his father had told him once about Narcissa, how she had made his life bright, so much so it sometimes scared him. Draco had been young at the time -so young- but the words stuck, and now he understood. Sadly, he doubted Lucius was the father he had idealized during his childhood. Had that man ever existed? Yes, he had been cruel at times, harsh more than caring but he had loved him, had he not?

"Draco, what's wrong?" they had stopped kissing, and something must have reflected on his face because Harry was staring at him, worried.

"Nothing, I-..." He shook his head and looked around. Harry wasn't pushing -which was nice- but he wanted... Draco enjoyed talking to him. Being honest in a way he had been to no one else.

He quickly took his school bag and searched for some paper and quill.

**'I was thinking about Father. Something he told me once, and how much he's changed'**

Harry read his words, a small frown on his gorgeous face. His hair was a mess, but Draco had been the one to cause it - running his hands through it. He discovered he loved it, just like that.

**'Do you wish to tell me how he was? Before, I mean'**

Did he? Draco bit his lower lip and half shrugged, but took the quill anyway.

**'He was very harsh with punishment, but he was also kind. We spent a lot of time together, usually he would talk and I would listen. I had lots of questions, I guess. And the Manor was gigantic, and I was little...'**

Harry moved closer to him, almost hugging him but leaving enough space for both to be able to write down. He could see how much restraint the Gryffindor was using not to speak ill of his father. Draco didn't blame him for how he felt. Sometimes, he also hated Lucius.

**'He's your dad, it's okay if you love him'**

Why? Why did Harry have such a way to make him feel things? How come he was so good at getting to the core of things, stripping them down, making it easy, simple. Draco turned his face and pressed it against Harry's chest, trying to calm himself. He was unable to hide his true emotions in front of him.

"I don't know who he is anymore"

"People change" Harry whispered, his arms all around him. Merlin, how he wanted to be buried inside his arms forever. Last night when they had been kissing so fiercely he hadn't meant to stop it, but panic rose from his chest. What if Harry didn't like him-his body? What if he saw the Mark and got so repulsed he never spoke to him again? And worst of all: what if they slept together and then broke up? They weren't even properly together, not boyfriends - how could they ever be? - and Draco didn't feel comfortable just.... Even if his body needed it. And it needed it so badly.

He felt movement and looked away from his chest. Harry was writing.

**'I don't think any less of you for loving your father. Quite the opposite, frankly. But I think you have reason to be angry at him'**

"You have no idea" He whispered, his words a bit muffled against Harry's shirt. "Mother is... Nicer"

"Was their marriage arranged or...?"

"Arranged, but they do love each other. I guess that's why they think I would be happy with Astoria" Draco moved from his chest, looking into his green eyes. Merlin, so green.

"You need to speak to them, tell them, Draco. They can't know otherwise"

**'You are asking me to abandon my family. To them, knowing this about me is almost as if I told them I was marrying a muggle'**

**'I am not asking anything, this is advice'**

The words might have been hard, but the kiss Harry landed on his head was not.

"This is a delicate subject for me, Harry"

"I know" it was a whisper, but Draco felt his emotion. Damn him, who gave him the right to be like this?

"I used to think my dad had been amazing, and I think he was, in a way. I - I know he was good"

Draco wanted to say that of course James Potter had been nice, and good, and _'amazing'_. How else could Harry be how he was? But he knew sometimes children have little in common with their parents.

"He was... Through Snape's eyes he was a tormentor, a bully" Harry sounded so ashamed and disappointed Draco wanted to kiss him until he couldn't think anymore "I saw his memories"

"I was a bully as well, Harry" Draco whispered "But I think there might..."

"Yes? Draco?"

Draco couldn't finish what he was saying, it hurt, and it made him vulnerable.

**'I think there might still be some good in me'**

***

Elliot was waiting impatiently outside Gryffindor tower, looking as if he hadn't slept at all during the night. It was odd, feeling much older than him. They only had, what? Two years of age difference and yet, Draco felt older. Much, much older.

"Elliot, are you okay?" Harry asked, a worried undertone in his voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Noah is... He's wrecked. He was so bad last night. Said things that made no sense..."

Harry placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him down. He wanted to say something, but knew Elliot wouldn't want to hear anything from him.

"Calm down.. Did he see anything?"

"No... No, I don't know... He said there was blood and..." Elliot frowned "he was so stressed and sad. Pomfrey gave him a sleeping draught"

"He's at the infirmary?" Harry frowned, they hadn't seen him there.

"No" Elliot crossed his arms "He's in my bedroom. The infirmary is... Filled with aurors and that girl"

Draco decided it was time to chime in "That girl is a slytherin just like you"

"No, not _just like me_ "

Odd. "What do you mean, then?"

Elliot sighed and touched his forehead with a couple fingers. "She's awful. I don't know. It's just that... it seems so unlikely for someone like her to try to kill herself"

Harry spoke next, moving away from the Tower's entrance "People surprise us sometimes. Were you friends? Have they questioned Noah?"

And now they had angered Elliot. Because of course they had. Did Harry not realize...?

"He did nothing" Elliot said, maintaining eye contact with him. Draco had to commend him on that, not everyone stood up to the hero of the Wizarding world these days.

"I'm not saying he did... But he might have seen something. Perhaps that's why he's so shaken"

Elliot shook his head "He likes Bea, that's all. Can you just... Find whoever did this? He's my friend and... It could have been him. What If he crossed paths with the attacker? Please, just... End this?"

Draco and Harry shared a look, it's not that they didn't want to find whoever was harming students but sometimes it became hard to do so when their own minds felt about to break.

"Of course we will" Draco said, looking back at Elliot "I was about to go talk to Myrtle. Would you like to come with?"

The whole moment was bizarre, of course, but Elliot nodded, his jaw tense. It was clear he was willing to do whatever it took if it meant his friend wouldn't be hurt. Draco appreciated that.

"Harry" Draco said, looking at him "go do the other thing, yes?"

He nodded, and for a moment Draco thought he was going to reach out and touch his cheek, but Harry ended up touching his own hair - as if containing himself.

"See you later, alright? Right here"

"Sure thing"

They both watched him go down the corridor. Draco knew he was going to speak to McGonagall, they had discussed it moments before leaving the bedroom. He would've liked for Harry to go with someone else, Granger or Weasley or even Neville but Harry insisted it was better this way. Draco trusted him.

"Let's go, this is the best time for sneaking around"

"You would know" Elliot said, eyeing him with a bit of anger.

The corridors were empty during breakfast, which was good but it also meant they didn't have much time to do what had to be done. Elliot was still glaring at him, annoyed even if he had agreed to go with him. It was fine, anyway, since neither liked the other very much.

"What?" Draco said, feeling his gaze while they took another hallway, the second floor bathroom closer and closer.

"You shouldn't be here. With the rest of us"

Draco tried not to feel hurt by that, but failed.

"It wasn't my choice. As you might know I am a convicted felon" His mouth twitched, trying to use the knowledge of who he was as a weapon. If he mocked himself then there was nothing for others to mock. Besides, acting as if it weren't a big deal was a good way to get others to believe it truly wasn't so important.

Elliot groaned, unsatisfied. "Still, you are a-"

Malfoy tried to keep his facade, keep his mask on, the cruel and cold one that said: _I'm better than you and words simply don't hurt me._

He stopped a couple meters away from the bathroom's door, tired. Too tired to keep pretending to be someone else "I am a what, Elliot, just say it"

The other slytherin seemed to struggle for words, he was certainly bigger than Malfoy but he didn't seem to use his muscles as weapons. "You are -" before he could say whatever he wanted to say, a sound came from the second floor bathroom, an intense growl.

Elliot turned to see whatever it was but for a few seconds they stood, staring at air. Had they imagined it?

Draco could feel it before he saw it, loud thumps making the floor tremble beneath their feet.

"Run!"

They bolted, as fast as they could. There was no time for spells or enchantments but Draco missed his wand fiercely, he felt at a loss without it, as if he had lost a limb.

Something had jumped out the bathroom, a thing that moved like wildfire but had eyes and claws. Draco wasn't sure he had ever seen anything like it in his books or _anywhere._

Without thinking, Elliot pushed a random door open and pulled Draco behind him. They both pressed their backs to the door, feeling the creature hit it -still growling and biting at the wood-, trying to get in. Draco closed his eyes, pain shooting through his back and legs as they pushed back to keep the _thing_ outside.

"What is that thing?!"

"Looks like a... A _huge_ dog" Elliot panted, clearly as tired and pained as Draco was. They didn't have much longer, they had to think of something.

"Or a bear" Draco was starting to sweat, fire burning in his lower back. He didn't know what it was and if it got in they would have to fight back... And he didn't quite trust Elliot to defend him or help. Not like Harry would.

"This is all your fault!" Elliot screamed at him, frustrated.

"I wouldn't be trapped in here _with you_ if it was!"

"No! Surely you would rather be trapped with Potter!" Elliot was gritting his teeth, the veins on his neck pulsing. Their bodies gave in just a little, but the adrenaline made them push back with greater force. The thuds did not stop.

"You don't know what you are sa-" It was hard to speak and breathe and push at the same time, Draco realized.

"Oh, haven't told him about your _feelings_ yet?"

He was mocking, harsh, trying to turn sour something that felt beautiful. Draco gave him a hard stare, cold despite the exhaustion. He had lived in Slytherin for too long, he knew how to handle the mocking tone of one of his peers, he knew what to do with it even if it hurt.

"Have _you_ told Noah about _yours_?"

Elliot's eyes widened and he stopped pushing back for a brief second, causing extreme pain on Draco who tried to keep the door from giving in. He was about to curse or scream when the other slytherin pushed back again.

"You have no idea -" he probably thought he had been so careful, but Draco was excellent at reading people. And finding out about someone who had the same secret he did? Easy.

Draco was going to answer when the pressure on their backs - and on the door- stopped. There was no sound outside, but they were sure the creature had been real. They stared at each other in confusion and then felt the door push inwards. Without a second thought they pushed back, this time not hearing the sound of claws against wood.

"Who is in there? I've taken care of the beast!"

They stopped pushing and moved away from the door, seeing it open and a familiar face come through. It was auror Bell, Draco realized he didn't know his first name which made him feel bad, since he had been the one to help him at the library.

"How come you are always getting in trouble, Malfoy?" he smiled and Draco relaxed. He could see Elliot's shoulders relax as well.

"That thing... Attacked us"

"Uhm, yes... Curious creature. Will have to ask Hagrid about it... he's a nice fellow, surely he will have an idea"

Elliot sighed, clearly grateful for the help "What was it?"

"Don't know, I'm no expert really... But don't tell the office I said that"

Draco almost wanted to smirk, but he didn't like aurors in general, one nice one wasn't going to change that at all.

"Can we leave now?"

"Of course, you should be in class" The auror moved away from the door and watched as they poured out of the room. Damn. They would have to go to class -or roam the hallways for a while- before getting another chance to get to the bathroom.

They walked back from where they came, both feeling lost and confused, Draco could see Elliot was tense. He shouldn't care, he thought, but oddly he did.

"Look, Elliot..."

"Don't say anything" It was almost a plea, and Draco tried hard not to feel sorry for him "Not to him. This... He's my best friend"

"I know, Elliot. I'm sorry, but what you said about me..."

"It's the truth, isn't it? You think you are so smart and closed up and mysterious, well you are not. I see how you look at him"

Draco swallowed "I-..."

"I don't care. Never did. I just... My aunt raised me" He was frowning "at least for a while, and your Father..." Rage filled his voice and Draco didn't feel scared.

"I'm sorry, Elliot. He has hurt a lot of people. I wish I could fix it"

Elliot's expression was one of pain, he clearly wanted a friend around, anyone to hug him or comfort him in any way. It had taken -probably - a lot of courage to say all of that, and Draco appreciated the honesty.

"I will do everything in my power to... Make amends. I can promise you that"

He looked up at him, uncertain but hopeful "I just want her to be okay. To be the same she was before"

Draco nodded, scared to find out what his Father had done exactly "I will help, if I can..."

"You cannot. But thanks"

There was a long silence between them, before Elliot turned and left. It took him a couple moments to realize something had changed between them. For the better.

***

"Harry, is something wrong?" McGonagall asked, looking up from a pile of papers that apparently needed her signature. Harry was growing used to the idea of her in that office. If he tried enough, he could see the office looked completely different. And, of course, there was no one better for the position.

Another thing that was different was how easy it was to get to the headmistress office now, it wasn't a closed off space, it was available to all students whenever they needed. Harry didn't know if she had done that on purpose but... he liked it. Before getting to even talk to Dumbledore was hard, sometimes impossible.

"I wanted to speak to you, professor"

She smiled, but looked tired. Harry could see bags under her eyes. If it weren't for that, Harry would have thought nothing was amiss.

"There are some things I have been thinking about... and others I have noticed" Harry decided it was better not to explain further, it's not that he didn't trust her but she was still a headmistress and he really didn't want to do detention for this. "I know it's not my place, professor, but is everything okay?"

She had her hands over the desk, holding them together. Her lips pressed into a fine line and she sighed, pointing at the chair in front of her "Please sit, Harry" He did, feeling a bit small in that office "You were burdened from a young age, I know that. There is no need for you to worry about anything, Harry. Am I clear?"

He frowned, he wasn't a child. He knew his life hadn't been easy, but right now he could help. How come no one ever wanted him to help?

"Professor, we-... I can help"

"I hope you are not dragging anyone into this, Potter" She said, staring at him coldly. He knew she was a nice woman, but Minerva could really scare someone.

"So there _is_ something going on"

She sighed, frustrated and tapped a couple fingers against the desk, looking behind Harry's head. "I am sure you have noticed there is something odd with the school"

"The attacks, yeah. I've noticed" He saw her shaking her head "Not that? then what?"

"I know you have been inside the room of Requirement. Not only that, but you and Malfoy went to Hogsmeade without permission, something the School's wards shouldn't allow. I know there are students waltzing into other Houses without any trouble, or girls getting inside the boys' dormitories" Harry coughed, thinking if Hermione would be in trouble for this. Somehow he doubted it, McGonagall seemed to have a soft spot for his friend "The school was built with ancient magic, Harry, there are still echoes of it all around and still... We have been researching, with the ministry, ever since the War but haven't found anything concrete. The school magic is failing"

"Failing? As in... as if it were dying?"

"No" She smiled softly "The school is not going anywhere, Harry. But it _is_ vulnerable and could become dangerous to students. We were rebuilding steadily and fixing the wards without any big impediments before the school year started. After that..." She waved her hands around for a moment.

Harry tried to process the information, but it was a lot so he simply nodded and listened carefully.

"The ministry and us, the teachers, are working very hard to keep students safe. Alright?"

"But the aurors... I think someone wishes you gone, professor"

She smiled, tiredly and shook his head, placing another pile of papers in front of her "They will always try to take over the school, Harry. Now go, I'm sure you have better things to do... like studying for your N.E.W.T.s"

He wanted to say more, to speak his mind but it was clear she was busy and would not hear him. Had he not been clear? There was a threat, and McGonagall was aware that there was... how come she wasn't asking for help?

"Professor?"

"Yes?"

"I... I wanted to ask if I could go to Hogsmeade again. The castle can be too much sometimes"

Her expression softened for a few seconds and nodded, looking down to her papers again.

Alright, Harry hadn't been completely honest about that but she didn't need to know. Besides he was frustrated at how she had rejected his help. Or any help, really.

Harry left the office knowing there was only one person that could help him make sense of all of that.

 

Finding Hermione wasn't always easy, sometimes she would hide herself up in the library -and it was a _big_ library- and now that she was Ron's girlfriend it was worse. Harry didn't wish to know what his friends did, or where, but he was sure they seemed to disappear more than he liked. Or perhaps he had isolated himself so much he simply didn't know their routines anymore.

Harry went to the library, finding no one he cared about there. People stared, whispered and stared again and he wanted to crawl back inside his bed with Draco.

Then he checked the Great Hall, nothing. It took him a couple hours to go through the main floor and when he was about to give up a huge amount of hair came into view, filling him with relief. She was alone, sitting on a bench near the courtyard. Thank Merlin.

"'mione!" He ran up to where she was, and was met with a smile. Harry had no family, but he would have died for her. And for Ron, obviously.

"Harry, hey" She looked behind him as if waiting for someone else to be there, Harry tried very hard not to blush. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah... no" He sat next to her, going silent as a group of third years walked behind them "I spoke with McGonagall. It's... worse than what we thought"

She nodded thoughtfully "I feared as much"

"You did?" Harry smiled "You are so brilliant, you know?"

"Shush" She moved a piece of her hair away from her face, moving closer to him on the bench "Look, I don't think this is the best place to discuss this but... if someone is truly trying to take over the school we are not going to allow it" She took his hand "We have done it before"

"I didn't think we would have to do it again"

Hermione nodded "I've been reading about the school as well" He seemed surprised, how could she have known about that? Hermione must have noticed his reaction, because she asked: "What? What do you know?"

Harry proceeded to explain what the headmistress had shared, whispering when students got way too close. It was a delicate matter, and if it got out it would create panic. They didn't need that.

"I see" Hermione had a small frown on her face, the one that said she was determined and had a plan "I... I need to go to the library"

Harry smiled "Some things never change, huh?"

She smiled back, and shrugged while taking her bag and placing it on her shoulder. Harry stopped her before she could get up, a hand on her arm "Wait, I..."

"Yes?" Hermione didn't move again, staring at him a bit worriedly "What's wrong?"

Harry felt a lump on his throat and a tightening around his heart. How to say this to her? He _knew_ -via Ron and Draco- that she had figured out what was going on between him and the slytherin. Of course it was one thing to suspect and another to have confirmation.

"I was meaning to ask... you always know everything" He looked around, letting go of her arm "And I have been wondering... There's a lot I don't know about the wizarding world"

Hermione laughed and bumped their shoulders "There's a lot _I_ don't know about this world, Harry"

"Yeah, but you study everything about it" He looked at her, she was brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Merlin, if Ron ever treated her wrongly he would kill him "And I have been meaning to ask..."

"You are worrying me, Harry"

Harry sighed and looked around, they were surrounded by snow but it wasn't as deep as it was before the holidays. Spring was looming in the distance, any day now the whiteness would disappear and make way to bright green leaves.

What would happen then? What would happen to all of them once they were out of School?

"It's about Draco"

"I figured"

"Don't sound so smug about it" He smirked, not knowing how to say it or if he needed to "Is it really that bad? He keeps acting as if..."

Hermione seemed puzzled for a moment and then she relaxed, looking around at the students that were chatting and laughing and running around.

"Usually I would say that no, it's not" She looked back at him "Wizards aren't exactly _open_ to a lot of things, and most reactions would be exactly as you would expect in the muggle world" Alright, Harry could understand that. People were complicated with what they didn't know "But Malfoy is..."

"A git?"

She laughed and so did he. Of course he didn't think that of Draco, not anymore, but they would always annoy each other, wouldn't they?

"No" She chuckled before giving him a more serious look "He's a pure blood from an old family. That's... they are definitely not... He could lose that, I think"

"All of it?"

Hermione shrugged "I guess so" There was a brief pause, and Harry felt completely hopeless. He didn't want Draco to lose his family or... whatever he needed from them. Hermione placed her head on his shoulder "That's the one thing that makes me think he cares about you"

"He's not..."

"I know, I know. But we don't know him like you do now. I mean... we haven't spent time together, have we? But I am on your side, Harry" She moved away and kissed his cheek "Even if your taste is really, really bad"

He laughed "If Ginny hears you say that..."

Hermione blushed "No! Ginny was a good one... Harry!" She slapped him on the arm when he laughed.

"I didn't say she wasn't!"

Harry smiled, oh, he missed his friends. Perhaps they could all get along together. The four of them.

"Herm, can you help me with something?"

"Yes, of course. What do you need?" She said, getting up and ready to leave.

***

Draco knew he didn't want to be in there. It was true he hadn't gotten the chance to even think what he would do after the war. Once the trials started his future wasn't on his hands, not really. At first, he was sure he would end up in Azkaban or Merlin knows where. He hoped he wouldn't, of course. His family had reach and money, both things that could win them a lesser sentence.

Those days had been filled with uncertainty and dread. His mind went from "what if's" to regret, day and night. And then the trials had happened, and Harry Potter had testified for him and his mother. They only stared at each other during the trial, Draco didn't know what to say. _Thank you? Fuck you? I don't need you?_ Truth was Draco needed him, his _family_ needed him to testify.

It was humiliating, of course, and Draco wondered if Harry remembered how he had looked in there. Harry hadn't said a word about it. Maybe it was better this way.

The almighty Ministry had decided he should finish his education. Nobody cared how Hogwarts now was a constant reminder of all the spilt blood. Perhaps they did consider that, perhaps they wanted him to be reminded of it every day and every night.

If that was the Ministry's plan they had succeeded.

Draco left the boy's bathroom -he had gone to wash his face, trying to relax a bit- and decided to walk towards the Great Hall for dinner.

His day had been a disaster. He had disappointed Harry by not getting Myrtle's information, and then his classes had been terribly boring. Usually he was a good student, but his mind was somewhere else... and deep down he kept asking himself what was all for? It almost felt as if it didn't matter.

At least his essay was done -not perfect as he wanted it, but kissing Harry had seemed much more interesting than getting that extra grade.

And to top it all off a first year student had tugged at his robe to ask him something, probably directions. He even sounded scared and nervous but when he turned to answer... the kid bolted. As if he had seen the devil. What things were being said about him? Draco knew he hadn't been paying much attention, and he hadn't been tending to his reputation as much as he should have been.

Did he really need to go have dinner? It would be better to go back to slytherin. He didn't even want to look at Harry's eyes and say he didn't get the information they needed.

"Malfoy... Draco!"

Draco swallowed but turned, hating the way the butterflies flapped inside his chest.

"Hey" They had started talking to each other in public ever since the library, and people had noticed but Draco wasn't exactly sure what they were saying about it. He could feel the looks and the whispers and the muffled laughs. He would have to take care of that.

"I have been looking all over for you" Harry gave a step forward but stopped himself, clearly aware of what he was doing and where "Are you avoiding me?"

"I had class, you know? Some of us like to attend?" He smiled, slowly ignoring the people walking in and out of the Great Hall.

"Yeah... yeah" Harry seemed nervous "Come with me? I have something to show you"

"Sure? Where?"

"Hogsmeade" Harry smiled his charming smile, both walking towards the courtyard.

"I can't, Harry. Remember?" Draco pointed around himself "If the Ministry finds out..."

"I got us permission" Harry smirked "Well... kind of. Trust me on this one?" He walked towards him, clearly wanting to grab one of his hands. Draco moved slightly away, they were outdoors, anyone could just... see them.

"I'll trust you, but if I end up in Azkaban it will be your fault"

"Yeah, yeah, stop whining" Harry smiled, hurrying towards the path.

Draco stared at him as they walked, the school fading in the background. Hogsmeade wasn't that far away at all, but Draco was starting to feel cold all over.

"What have you planned?" Harry smirked and shrugged. Ugh. "Why are you not telling me?"

"Don't you like surprises? I just..." Harry gave him a brief look "Let's hurry, I can see you are about to freeze"

***

"The Three Broomsticks?" Draco asked curiously, an eyebrow arched when they stopped.

"Wait _here_ " Harry said and disappeared inside, leaving him even more confused and in the cold. Great.

When the gryffindor appeared again, Draco had his arms crossed and was trying very hard not to shiver.

"Here, come on" Harry tugged at his robe, turning around the building until they found a back door. Draco wasn't sure he knew about this entrance to the place.

"I hope you are _not_ trying to murder me?"

Harry chuckled and opened the door with a key, taking Draco's hand and pulling him inside. There was a long hallway that ended on a closed door and a staircase to their right. Harry guided him upstairs, where a long row of doors with numbers appeared.

"I didn't know the Broomsticks had rooms upstairs"

"Yeah... I thought we needed a night out? But with, uhm, privacy"

Draco nodded, his throat slightly dry at the thought of... well, going to a _room_ outside Hogwarts with him. Harry stopped in front of one of the doors and opened it, pulling them inside.

Even though Draco could feel Harry's nervousness, what he saw completely took his breath away. It was hard to leave him speechless, really -or at least he believed that. Inside, the room was warm, a huge four poster bed on the left and a fireplace on the right. In between them an impressive amount of pillows and blankets, in the perfect place to cozy up in front of the fire. Draco let go of Harry's hand, walking towards the bundle of blankets and sat down, unable to say a single word. He wanted to. Merlin, he really wanted to say _so_ much, but his mouth was sown shut and his brain was jumping inside his head.

The warmth of the fireplace comforted him more than he had expected. Draco smiled, staring at the dancing flames and hearing the soft cracks of the burning wood. He had no idea how Harry had engineered all of this, but he was grateful. It was exactly what he needed.

Harry walked towards him, and sat down, but he wasn't strong enough to look at him, not quite yet.

"This is lovely" It was hard to think no one knew they were there. Well, maybe a couple people.

"Yes"

Draco took some courage from deep within him and turned to face him. The Gryffindor quickly - and awkwardly- pulled out a small tray with bread, cheeses and some grapes. It looked delicious, perhaps not a full meal but... It was perfect. Draco's heart was beating fast, his ribs barely containing it in.

"You thought about everything didn't you?"

"I tried" Harry smiled, moving a bit closer. For a moment Draco thought they were going to kiss, but Harry looked down and ate some grapes. Was he nervous?

"I couldn't get the information from Myrtle today..."

"What _did_ happen? I couldn't ask Elliot and you were busy"

"A creature attacked us. I couldn't get a good look at it but... It's controlled, anyway." Draco didn't want to go into details, he already felt like he had failed Harry in such a simple task. "Hey, save some for me"

Harry blushed but moved the tray closer to him, and he took some of the cheeses to try them. Merlin, Harry had good, refined taste or had found someone who had it.

"Elliot is... He still hates me" Draco spoke with some bread in his mouth, he had never done anything like that. Good manners were highly praised in his family and he had been taught to always be serious, a gentleman. Now he felt relaxed, open, exposed in a way he had never felt. Normally, that would make him run but Harry was such a calming force. Reassuring. "But I think we made some progress? He told me why he hates me"

"The thing with your dad?" Harry pressed his arms against the floor, leaning back while staring into his eyes.

"Yes. And... Well, he also knows about _this_ " Draco pointed around them.

"He hates you for being gay?" Draco didn't want flinch, but he did. It was one thing to know that about himself, and another to hear it out loud.

"No. Not at all. He knows it's something... He knows he can hurt me with it, he tried to make me angry or sad or whatever. I might have reacted... _Poorly_ "

"What did you do" Harry wasn't angry, but he sounded very tired.

"Nothing" Draco pinched a grape between his fingers and brought it to his lips. He saw Harry's eyes follow his movements.

"Draco, we are working with them. Elliot is not so bad"

"I know. And I didn't do anything bad. I just told him I know he is in love with Noah. I wanted to shut him up, that's all"

"Oh" Harry frowned, a bit confused.

"Are you serious? Did you not see it? It's _obvious_!"

"I had no idea. Well, good on them?" His voice said _'who cares'_ but Draco could see he felt a certain link to them now. A certain bond. After all, Elliot was _'like them'_ in a sense, they could help each other if things got rough.

"Hm" Draco decided it was best not to explain anything further, they were there to enjoy each other... The thought made him blush so he focused on the fireplace. _Men don't blush_ , his father would say... but he wasn't there to make him feel bad about it.

"Draco, I..." Harry moved closer as if possessed, cupping his face between his hands, forcing him to stare into his eyes. Green, so much green... How could something be so green?

"Y-yes?"

"This... I want this. And not just for now..."

Draco felt his heart bursting with an electric feeling he had never experienced. It was as if it tried to find its way out of his chest and into Harry's.

"I don't think... That's possible, Harry. I mean..." he swallowed and tried to speak but Harry kissed him once, and then again. Short dry kisses, almost pleading kisses. He was asking.

"Once we leave the school for good" Draco placed his hands on Harry's wrists, without pulling his arms away. "I'm still on house arrest for another year. I... You will have your life. You will find someone new, better..."

"No, there isn't someone better"

The words were a bit of a shock for him, and not only that but the way he said it: as if it was true, as if it hurt to even consider leaving him. Draco's chest was about to explode. How could people feel like this and not brag about it all the time? How did people find the strength to not be snogging all the time?

"I will have to live with my parents"

"Do you want that?"

"No. But the Ministry..."

"Draco... If you have to stay with them I'll visit. Alright? Don't say no" Harry pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes "We will find a way. If anyone can find a way, it's us"

Draco chuckled at that, the pounding of his heart too loud to think of anything else. It was insane, to promise something like that. To commit to someone, being who he was, it was a crazy thing to do. And yet it was the only thing that mattered to him, the one thing he desired: to be with Harry for as long as he could.

"Yes... Yes"

"We'll try then...? Being boyfriends?" their lips were brushing with each word now, and it made the electricity in his chest fly to different parts of his body.

" _Boyfriends_ " he smirked and Harry half laughed.

"I thought _lovers_ but that sounds weirder"

They shared a small laugh, the air dense between them, hot, electric. Draco moved his head just enough to kiss him, tilting his head and allowing Harry to run his hands through his hair.

Draco pulled him towards his body, leaning back more and more until he was laying on the floor with Harry on top. He wanted so much, and he was willing to give so much. Just to feel. He gasped inside the kiss, feeling Harry's body press against his. It amazed him how well they fit together. When he was younger and filled with horrible shame, he imagined sleeping with a boy would be awkward and complicated. Right now it felt as if it were the most simple thing in the world, and the one thing they both needed. Harry bit down hard on his lower lip, making him moan and pushed his head back, giving him access to his neck. And Harry never wasted an opportunity. It drove him insane the way he kissed, and bit, and sucked his skin.

Draco's hands found their way to Harry's back, touching all over his shirt. But he needed more. He tugged at the fabric up, up, up, and Harry understood what he wanted so he pulled back to half sit on top of him. The look on his face was like a wave of summer air. Draco had been told many times he was attractive, even by some girls, but he had never believed it much. But right now? Harry looked him in a way that... There was no doubt he desired him.

And then he pulled his shirt off and Draco couldn't stare into his eyes anymore. He was sure the air escaped his lungs as he sat as well, touching the skin that was all for him. With the warm light of the fireplace Harry was _golden_ ; he ran his fingertips very carefully, hearing Harry's breath stop from time to time, his small shudders. If Draco looked up and saw his face he would probably lose it, so he focused on his skin. It wasn't difficult to have darker skin than he had, but Harry was perfect against him, a perfect contrast of who they were. Opposites, of the best kind. Draco put his lips to Harry's chest and he heard the boy whimper. Merlin. With his hands on his shoulders he kept kissing, figuring out his skin and the feel of it against his. This was all new, but Draco for once decided to shut down that place in his brain that was filled with logic. If his body knew what had to be done, he was going to follow. Harry would never harm him, and in that safety he could afford the cost of not doing the most reasonable thing.

He played softly with one of Harry's nipples, not quite sure if it was going to cause a reaction but it did. He was sure he hadn't heard Harry moan in his life, even though it was a low and quiet sound, almost as if he didn't want anyone but Draco to hear him. It drove him insane.

"Draco" He whispered, his hands on his arms, going up and down but keeping him near. "let me..."

Draco pulled his head back and had to bite down his lip to handle the way Harry looked. Disheveled and intense.

"What...?" he barely recognized his own voice, filled with need. He looked down to realize Harry was undoing one of his buttons. Cold ran through his veins, fear. "Wait, Harry... I-..."

"Yes?" Harry stopped, of course he did. "I want to see you"

How could he explain? Draco closed his eyes, if this was going to end, better be that it ended here and not after they... He slowly unbuttoned his own shirt, pulling it back until his chest was exposed. He didn't remove the white bandage over his left arm, of course.

Harry sighed "I did that" his voice was filled with sorrow and Draco forced himself to open his eyes.

His chest was full of scars, and that was no news to Draco. Some were thin and others were not, but they were all awful. Despite that, he had never cared much about those, he had deserved them at the time. He remembered that night, the feeling of the cold water on his back, mixing with the warmth of his blood. He was going to die, alone, inside a bathroom.

Draco sighed and took one of Harry's hands, pulling it towards his skin "It's not so bad. It's okay" He didn't like the anguished face Harry had now, it was almost as if he were guilty of something. He wasn't. Draco remembered how he had almost used the cruciatus curse on him that night. Yes, Harry could have killed him, but it would have been in self defense.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry"  Harry hugged him, tightly. It was unexpected, but he returned the hug, breathing softly and trying to calm himself as well.

"I never blamed you, but thank you for saying that"

Harry shook his head, pulling back and going a bit down, his lips brushing against his skin. Draco had to close his eyes, feeling the soft dry kisses on his scars. They were slow, methodic, Harry wanted him to feel this as softly as he was doing it.

The coldness that had run through his veins at the thought of taking off his shirt was replaced by his kisses, one by one it filled him with warmth. Harry pressed his forehead to his chest, his hair tickling him a bit.

"Are you okay?"  Draco had no idea how he was speaking, but Harry had stopped kissing his skin.

"You don't need to..." He moved back and stared at him through those silly glasses "The mark, you don't need to cover it"

Oh.

Draco swallowed visibly, and looked down at his left arm. Sometimes the bandages were extremely tight, he liked them like that. He liked it when it almost hurt.

"Harry, it's better if you don't..."

"Let _me_ decide what's best for me"  He whispered as well, touching his left wrist and barely looking at it. "Alright? If you want it covered for your sake, that's fine. But don't cover it for me. I know who you are" And he grabbed his face, strongly, almost forcing eye contact "I _know who you are_ "

Draco breathed in once, and then pulled away just enough to start uncovering his arm. Sometimes he forgot how many bandages he used. Was he really that ashamed? The realization made him duck his head a bit more, hurrying the process.

He could feel Harry's gaze on him, but he didn't feel the other boy stressed or tense or anything like that. Finally, the last pieces of fabric fell away, and the skull and snake were visible.

Draco gritted his teeth but moved his hand up and down, trying to see if anything changed. Some nights he tried to imagine it gone.

"It's faded"  Harry whispered, holding his arm softly and staring at it "That's good"

"It's like this since he's gone"

"Good"

And Harry kissed him again, his arms on his waist as he kept him close to his body. Nothing had changed, Draco realized, not his kisses or his relaxed demeanor, nothing. They were still... together. An item. He felt as if he wanted to cry, but he only held tighter to him, kissing him back with everything he had.

Sitting wasn't bad, not really, but Draco wished to feel him like before, to feel his full weight over him. So he leaned back, pulling him again. Their skins felt hot against each other, and it made him wild. His fingers made their way to his back, digging into the skin, pulling, scratching. He wanted to feel him, to know where to touch.

"Sorry"  Harry whispered, having hit his knee against Draco's. It hurt a bit, but Draco giggled, making him laugh as well.

"Come here" He pulled him close again, kissing his neck while Harry touched his chest and hips, and went down to his pants.

"Wait" Draco moved a hand, pulling at some of the blankets Harry had placed on the floor for them and used it to cover both of them with it. Harry didn't complain, kissing him on the lips again and trying to undo his pants, clearly fighting with the first button.

Draco tried not to laugh in between kisses, but Harry was clearly having a hard time with only one hand.

"Need help?"

Harry groaned but nodded, pressing both hands on the floor, looking down at Draco.

It was hard to be completely relaxed, really, considering it would be the first time someone else saw him naked. Draco tried not to think about it, undoing his pants and doing the same with Harry's. Merlin, the desire to touch him and know him conquered his insecurities.

Harry moved an arm down, leaning to kiss him again, tracing a path with his hand from his chest to his hips. "We should..."

"Shh" Draco shushed with a smile, understanding what he meant. "Here" He pulled Harry's pants down, allowing the Gryffindor to do the rest on his own. A soft laugh escaped him when Harry almost had to sit back to do it, frowning as if frustrated with the fabric.

Draco wanted to say something, to tease him, but Harry was almost immediately on top of him again, the blanket tangled between their bodies. He yanked it to cover them again, pulling at Draco's pants, leaning back to take them off. Draco had half imagined he was going to take his own pants but Harry pulling at them was more arousing than he imagined. He kicked to help him, pulling at him from the back of his neck so they could kiss again. Their bodies were touching and there was so much skin and not enough at the same time.

"Fuck" Harry whimpered and the hand on Draco's hip quickly went to his thigh, and then up towards his crotch. It was almost like the whip of lighting and Draco pulled at the hair's on Harry's nape.

He was touching him over his boxers but it felt so good, way too good, as if absolutely nothing else mattered. Draco didn't know if it was because it was his first time doing something like this with a boy, or if it was because that boy was Harry or if it had anything to do with the strong feelings he had.

Harry was kissing him, but he couldn't concentrate long enough, his breathing quick and shallow. In a moment of clarity -and need- he ran a hand down Harry's chest and down, down feeling the little trail of hairs and... He didn't want to touch over the clothes, he wanted...

"Can I...?" he whispered, barely slipping his fingertips under the waistband of his underwear.

Harry groaned, nodding, their foreheads bumping slightly as he did "Y-yeah"

Draco smiled pulling him closer and sliding his hand down inside his last piece of clothing. The feeling made him dig his fingertips on Harry's back, searching for his lips with his own. Thoughts raced through his mind, things he wanted to say to him: _you are perfect, you are perfect and I want this. I want you, please_. But his mouth refused to do anything other than kiss him, his lips, his neck, his chest.

Harry buried his face in his neck, shuddering and doing the most arousing sounds Draco had ever heard. He wanted to cause more of that. So much more.

After a few moments of stroking him -not quite sure how, but not stopping, following what seemed to make Harry whimper- he felt Harry's hand under his boxers to do the same. It was almost too much, almost enough to make him end right there.

"Harry" he panted, short kisses being shared in between moans, hands touching, knowing, pleasing. Sometimes he would kiss Harry's neck, or feel Harry do the same and his body almost felt about to explode in a million pieces.

Draco wanted to ask him to slow down, but not really. He knew what he needed and he was sure Harry needed the same. Either way, they were too focused on each other's body to care about anything else in the world.

Suddenly, Harry moved his hand faster, more determined, making Draco's brain completely shut down. He kissed him as well as he could, feeling as if his body were chasing stars, the brightest and warmest of them all. Without thinking, but feeling, he pressed a bit tighter around Harry's erection, hearing him moan and slightly move his hips towards his hand. Fuck.

His free arm kept Harry close, so close. He needed to feel him on top of him and around him and all over. He was coming undone and he needed Harry to keep him grounded, to keep him _there_.

Pressing his face to his neck he came, fingers digging on Harry's back and eyes closed. He knew he was shaking, his skin covered with a thin layer of sweat, just as Harry was. Despite his dazed state, he willed his hand to move again, quickly and tightly. This was the first time they were doing anything intimate, but he knew Harry's body already. He knew he was as close as he had been. And it wouldn't take long to undo him as well. And oh, he so wanted Harry to feel good.

Harry didn't shake as much as he did, burying his face even more against him, whimpering and trying to be quiet. Why? Draco wanted to hear him. It was okay, though, they would have time to explore.

Less than a minute -or ten minutes? Seconds? Draco couldn't tell- he was also coming with shuddered breaths. Harry collapsed on top of him, incapable of holding himself with his hands, tired and pleased.

Oh, how he loved him. And Draco knew it was unreasonable to love someone as much as he did so fast.

"Are you okay?" he whispered, hands around Harry, feeling his back, the blankets protecting both. He nodded without moving away. "Me too"

Draco closed his eyes, exhausted. It was a bit uncomfortable having his boxers dirty but... Well, that could be fixed easily.

"Harry... Care to...?"

Harry looked up, hair in complete disarray, glasses about to fall off his face. "Oh sorry, I..." And he tried to get off of him.

"Not that" Draco smiled, but allowed him to lay at his side, pulling a bit at the blanket they had grabbed in their nervousness. "Cleaning spell?"

"Ah!" Harry blushed slightly, his lips clearly kissed. With a couple wand movements Draco felt clean and fresh again, but suddenly very cold.

The room they were in was common, nothing fancy, but suddenly it seemed more than perfect. They could have offered Draco a palace with silk sheets and he would have rejected it, just to stay one more minute with Harry in there.

"Bed?"

Harry half groaned, sitting up and pulling at the food tray to eat a small bite of bread. It made him chuckle, but he only got up from his spot on the floor and walked towards the double bed, opening the sheets and laying down. It was soft, and they were together.

It didn't took long for Harry to follow, the lights from the fireplace farther now. They moved to be side by side, staring at each other.

"Hey"

"Hey"

Draco smiled, he couldn't help himself, and felt Harry's hand on his hip.

"Cuddly, are you?"

"Shut up, Malfoy"

"Shut me up"

And Harry did. Of course he did.

***

Every time Harry Potter broke the rules, a wave of satisfaction ran through him. It wasn't hard to follow the kid without being seen, and it wasn't hard to know he was investigating.

If only he knew how misguided he was, and how easy it would be for him to take everything he held dear. He fantasized with the pain he could do, the pain he _wanted_ to do.

At times he wondered how Voldemort had been unable to murder such a stupid child, but then again Voldemort hadn't been enough. It didn't matter. At least he had done something: the Ministry was pure chaos, Hogwarts was unprotected and his plan was coming along perfectly.

There was a soft knock on the door and he turned, Aurors had been given rooms inside the castle to sleep in. Nothing fancy, of course.

"Yes?" He smiled, relaxed.

"I'm sorry to bother you, Bell, but Pomfrey wishes to see you"

He smirked, picking up his Auror robe. "I'll be there in a minute"

Yes, everything was coming along perfectly.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see I have more free time now haha! Hopefully my creative streak will continue and I'll be able to update much more frequently... fingers crossed!  
> Hopefully you liked it! xx


	18. Before The Storm

They hadn't fallen asleep, but they didn't continue their activities either. From time to time they would kiss, their hands still softly touching skin, discovering each other. There were a million things unsaid, things they didn't even know _how_ to say.

Harry moved his head slightly up, kissing him while his hand made circles on Draco's hip. It was lazy, and warm, and perfect.

"Thank you... For doing all of this" Draco finally spoke, moving a bit closer to the other boy. It was easy to forget they wouldn't be able to have this level of intimacy in the following days.

Harry felt a bit proud for having planned it, and for how it had turned out "I... I think this is the first time I've had a good date"

"First time?"

"Well, with Cho it was horrible and then..." Draco kissed him before he could mention Ginny.

"What about Hogsmeade? Wouldn't this be a second date?" Harry widened his eyes for a brief moment, so that _had_ been a date. Of course he remembered it perfectly.

"Guess you are right" he whispered, kissing him again. "We should sleep" Harry moved a bit closer to him, their legs intertwined.

"I don't want to"

"Yeah... me neither" Harry looked a bit down, running a hand over Draco's chest, feeling the scars underneath his fingertips. The boy shuddered, closing his eyes. "And there's so much I have to talk to you about, things I found out today"

"Later? I want to..." And he moved closer, burying his face in Harry's neck, his hands going up to his hair, fingers lost in it.

Harry moved closer, a hand around his hip, keeping him as close as he was able to. He took off his glasses, putting them on the bedside table. Of course he wanted to see as much as possible -and this close he could- but he wanted to be as pressed against Draco as he was capable.

"I never thought I would get to have something like this" Draco whispered in the safety of Harry's embrace. "I always thought I would end up in an unhappy marriage right after school"

Harry hummed, pressing him a bit closer to his body, and kissed the top of his head. "I didn't think I would live long enough to get married..."

"I'm glad you are alive" Draco smiled, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Me too"

They stayed in silence, hearing only the cracks of the burning wood in the fireplace. Outside the world was dark and silent.

"I don't want to fall asleep"

"Aren't you tired?"

"Yes... But we will have to go back to the castle early in the morning" Harry moved to stare at him, fingers touching his lower back. "I kind of wish we could stay right here"

Draco nodded without opening his eyes, a small smile on his lips. It was true they didn't have much time to be together like this, but he felt so good he almost didn't have room to feel bad about anything else.

"Who knows where we are?"

"Hermione, she helped me... And McGonagall knows I'm here"

"But not me?"

"No" Harry kissed him quickly on the lips "But don't worry, you won't get in trouble"

Draco sighed and moved a bit closer, almost pressing their chests together while one of his hands tangled itself in Harry's hair "I think I wouldn't mind getting in trouble for this..." he didn't want to fall asleep either, but he was tired, his eyelids heavy. "This was so nice, Harry" And he was being held so tight and perfect...

"Rest, Draco" Harry whispered.

 

Morning found them like that, tangled in each other, half-naked. Harry had set up a charm to wake them at 5 am, to give them time to run back to the castle without anyone realizing they were gone. So even if they wanted to rest under the sheets or kiss or touch each other again, they couldn't. Breaking the school rules _and_ the Ministry's was risky, and a part of Draco wondered why he wasn't being dragged to Azkaban.

They dressed without turning their backs to each other this time, almost confusing their ties which amused Draco to no end. The room was cleaned with a simple charm, and they made their way outside through the same backdoor they had used the night before. Draco wanted to hold his hand but doing so outdoors was risky and he wasn't ready yet. He wondered if Harry wanted the same.

"Rosmerta told me to be careful, apparently there are some dementors around" Harry frowned "Don't even know why they brought them here, honestly"

Draco shrugged "They are powerful, that's why the ministry uses them"

"They shouldn't be... used" Harry kept his gaze on the path towards the castle, walking steadily over half melted snow.

"I know. It's one of the many things that are wrong" Draco moved his hand but barely touched Harry's "Sorry about... you know, third year? Scaring you with the whole... Dementor thing"

Harry chuckled "Well, it wasn't _that_ bad"

"It was pretty bad" Draco smirked and bumped their shoulders together "I was... curious, I guess. I don't know anyone that faints when facing a  dementor"

"I don't..." Harry sighed "I think I don't faint anymore. It's just that I-" He looked over at Draco for a few long seconds and then back to the road "It was the first time I heard my parents, my mom actually. I heard her screaming. I was a baby when they died so I don't remember them at all. But when I heard... I knew it was her so... I..."

Draco stopped and stared at him. For a couple of steps Harry didn't seem to notice, until he stopped as well, turning to see the blond boy. "What?"

"I-" Draco tried to speak, but Harry had been so nonchalant about it that it was obvious the memory was painful. Extremely so. And he didn't know what to do or say to ease it for him. How to help someone with something like this? How to help _him?_ Draco wasn't going to lie and say everything was okay, or that everything would be okay. His parents were dead and nothing was going to bring them back and nothing was going to change how his life had been. Draco frowned and walked forward again, hugging him tightly. Without thinking much about it, he placed a hand on Harry's hair, and another on his back just to keep him steady.

They stood like this until Harry moved his arms to his back, pressing himself even tighter against Draco. They didn't speak or move for a long time. Draco wanted to find the words, but there weren't enough.

"Thanks" Harry mumbled when they parted, starting to walk again and unable to stare at Draco's face. He hadn't cried, which Draco found incredibly odd. What would it take for Harry to...?

It's not that he wanted to see him cry, he really didn't, but he wanted to see him pour out all the hurt he had. During sixth year crying in the bathrooms until his chest hurt had been the only way to feel barely human. If he hadn't, his mind would've suffered. He was sure of it.

"You should really teach me how to do that stupid Patronus thing" Draco tried, not sure if the other boy wanted to talk.

"Of course" Harry stared at him, a small smile on his lips "I thought you knew how to do it. I mean... I don't know, aren't you always bragging about something?"

"Well, _fuck you very much_ " Draco smiled, though "And no, I don't know how to... I just..." He shrugged.

"Of course I'll teach you"

They could see the castle already, and perhaps that's why their steps became slower and slower.

"I've heard you are a good teacher" Draco didn't want to go back and say goodbye, because he knew he had to. He had classes to attend to, homework to finish and... a common room to visit. He couldn't just keep following Harry around or hiding himself at Gryffindor's Tower. Merlin, if Salazar Slytherin could see him fraternizing with _'the enemy'._

Harry shrugged at his comment, but the smile on his face told Draco everything he needed to know.

They made the rest of the way in silence, a nice one, being there for each other without having to say or do anything. It felt good, it felt as if he wasn't alone anymore. Or at least not like before.

When they reached the courtyard, nobody seemed to look at them. Students had started to pour out of the Castle walls, running and filling the hallways with chatter.

"Draco, I-"

"They are looking for you" Draco said, looking a bit past Harry's shoulder, where his friends were sitting - _and staring-._ They didn't seem like _bad_ people but Draco wasn't ready to socialize with them for long periods of time.

"Who...? " Harry turned, clueless as always but seemed to relax when his gaze focused on his two best friends and the other one. Draco tried really hard not to think he was going to spend time with the Weasley girl. He knew he had nothing to be jealous of but...

"See you later, okay? I have matters to attend to"

Harry looked back at him, a small frown on his face but he could read him so well: he was dying to go and talk to his friends. "You can come with us"

"I have things to do, Potter" Draco smiled to reassure him "Look, I'll meet you after... Herbology?"

"Sure, I've got a free period" Harry's eyes moved slightly down, and Draco knew he was staring at his lips. Oh, Merlin, he wanted to kiss him so much. Just like the night before. "See you then"

"See you"

Instead of kissing him, he turned and left.

***

"Someone had a good night" Ginny smirked, elbowing Hermione who turned pink. Harry wanted to believe his friend's cheeks were red from the cold. Oh, wait, they meant him? He tried not to look too guilty, tried NOT to smile... he almost failed.

"I don't know what you are talking about"

"Gin, don't be weird?" Ron pleaded and Harry loved him for that. It was hard enough trying to balance his life with all the secrecy he had to do. Even though his friends seemed to be okay with the truth... it was a quiet truth. He hadn't said anything out loud to anyone and while Hermione and Ron implied they were totally okay with whatever it was, he hadn't... they had no idea what they were saying. They hadn't seen him hold hands with Draco and he worried their reactions would change when they did. And, of course, Ginny had feelings for him. _Merlin._

"I'm not being weird, _Ronald_ " Harry tried not to chuckle, it was always adorable when the Weasleys got in a fight because most of the times it was obvious they loved each other. As far as Harry knew, the fights had only turned sour after the war.

"Sure you aren't" Ron smirked but kissed Hermione's cheek, probably to just focus on something else. Or because he was in love. Would Harry ever do these things with Draco? Something hurt inside his chest and for a moment, he resented his friends. He resented how they could hold hands and kiss and smile all lovingly while he... couldn't.

Suddenly he wanted to leave, to be on his own for a while or with someone that understood...

"Harry? Hey..." Hermione's hand felt warm on his own and it made him look at her.

"Yeah?"

"You okay?" She was worried.

"Yeah" He cleared his throat trying to look relaxed "Yes. I am. How are you all? I know I've been... off."

"Well, I was doing alright until I found out you and _Ronald_ are keeping me out of the loop"

"Ginny, we-..."

She rolled her eyes "You don't have to protect me, Harry, you know? I'm old enough and can take care of myself. I know you still feel bad about the diary thing, but I'm not eleven anymore"

Harry didn't know what to say, of course he was still wary of putting her in danger. She was like a little sister. Alright, weird. Perhaps not a sister but a really good friend? He didn't want anything to happen to her. Besides, Ron would be devastated and he could not have that.

"Sorry"

"Better" She tapped his shoulder and then turned to the other two "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

Hermione nodded after a small deliberation with herself and started to explain everything that had happened after the first attack. Harry chimed in to add what he had learned from McGonagall and other things they had been discussing.

"And we are doing this because someone, kind of, targeted Malfoy" She was trying hard not to smirk and Harry wanted the earth to swallow him whole. "But now you are kind of thinking that had nothing to do with anything"

Harry fake-coughed "Well, not exactly. At first it definitely seemed like someone was trying to frame Malfoy. Which they probably were trying to do, but they... got bored? I think the plan is much bigger than him, but if they could take him down in the process then why not?"

She nodded "Or he was a diversion, something to keep everyone looking one way while they went the other. You know? A red herring"

"A red what?" Ron stared at her in confusion.

"Do you never _read_?" Ginny said a bit proud of herself "It's like a fake clue"

"I'm not _stupid,_ Ginny"

"Alright, alright" Harry decided to chime in "Even if it was, it changes nothing for us. We still don't know who is behind this..."

"But we do know what they want, right? To take over the school"

Harry pressed his lips together, was that what 'they' wanted? Was that another red herring? "Yeah, yeah I'm sure that's it"

***

Elliot was growing more and more worried. His friend had been asleep since someone or _something_ attacked Bea and he didn't know what to do. Pomfrey had come to his bedroom and given Noah a sleeping draught, to help him calm down. They had moved all of Elliot's roommates to another bedroom to make sure Noah would get enough rest.

The only reason why Noah wasn't in the Infirmary, according to Pomfrey, was because the aurors had the whole wing closed up and were both interrogating and keeping watch over Bea. Apparently they all thought it had been an attempted suicide and she couldn't be left alone. _But_ they didn't want another student in there in case she tried to harm herself. Or something like that.

It's not that Elliot hadn't tried to hear what they were saying, but his mind was completely focused on Noah and how... bad he was. He had tried to say something, but his eyes had been wild and he spoke complete nonsense...

"I know you are only sleeping because of the potion" He whispered, but didn't dare to hold his hand. That was for... boyfriends and family members and he was neither. What was he, anyways? Just a friend, at best. "But you have to wake up... alright? This school sucks without you" Elliot bit down on his lower lip and looked around the room, Pomfrey was supposed to check on him "You know I'm bad with words" He whispered, not sure if he was hearing him or if he was just making a fool of himself. Both? Probably both.

"What am I going to tell your mom, huh? That you fainted from a little bit of blood. Come on, dude" Elliot nudged his arm but jumped when the door opened behind him.

"Your friend was attacked" Pomfrey hurried towards the bed, wand in hand "Apparently _miss_ Beatrice tried to obliviate him but did a bad job. It didn't help her that your friend tried to protect himself. That's why he was so confused" There was a small smile on the old woman's face. Elliot realized she disliked Bea as much as he did. He could only imagine the havoc that girl was causing in the Infirmary.

"Will he be okay?"

"Yes, I would say he's in good hands" She waved her wand around and Elliot felt nervous. What if he didn't? What if that botched spell had messed with him?

"Are you sure?"

Pomfrey glared at him " _Yes_ "

Elliot tried not to look scared, because it was unlike her to be so angry. Well, he would be pissed too if he had to deal with Bea for as long as she had to. Noah had his eyes closed, sweating as if he had just been running.

"Mr..." She started "Elliot" Her voice was sweet, comforting. She placed a hand on his shoulder "Do not allow anyone inside this room but me and professor McGonagall. Am I clear?"

"Why-?"

"Am _I_ clear?"

He nodded, and she let go of his shoulder. Her eyes moved over the young boy and then she left. She didn't say goodbye or anything else.

"If Bea obliviated you I am going to kick your ass" He frowned, sitting on the edge of the bed again. The door _was_ locked with a charm that only allowed a few people in, but a good wizard could very easily break in and... Elliot tried not to think about it "You are twice the wizard, she's... talentless. I still don't know why you like her so much..." He sighed, doubting his friend would like to hear him blabbing about stuff like that.

He was sure Noah was worried about that girl even in his unconsciousness.

Silence filled the room so quickly it choked Elliot. "Please get better" He whispered and reached for Noah's hand. He stopped himself and got up to walk around the room, feeling powerless.

***

Draco looked around the room, realizing people didn't seem to be aware of his presence at all. From time to time someone would look at him and then whisper to another Slytherin, but nothing more. Anyone else would be pleased, but not him. Not really. This could mean he didn't have any social standing anymore, no weight, nothing to cement his claim to the Malfoy name at all.

If he pretended to defy his father, his reputation needed to be perfect, otherwise it would mean losing the war before it even began.

After the night he had had with Harry, there were a lot of things to contemplate. If he truly wanted to be with him, to give their... relationship a chance, then he had to be extremely careful.

Deep down he wished for it to be simple: to simply go to his parents and tell them the truth and not have it blow up in his face. He didn't want to give up his name or his family or... well, his money. It's not that he wanted _all_ the wealth, but he didn't want to have _nothing._ Because being cut off from the family meant more than just losing money, it meant losing any chance at a decent job, or a good reputation or... anything.

What if the love his parents had for him wasn't enough? Having a gay son was not in their plans, he knew that, but... perhaps...

"Draco, can we talk?" A brunette head came into view, almost blocking the rest of the room.

He smiled and got up "Of course, Astoria. My room?"

She nodded, grabbing his arm and walking towards his bedroom. People _did_ stare then. Draco had never touched her, but it wouldn't hurt if people thought he was doing _things_ with a respectable woman like Astoria. Of course, she knew this as well. They were friends, but only due to the situation they were in.

"We haven't talked in a long time, Draco"

"True, we haven't. How have you been?"

"Things could be better" She sat next to him on his bed, looking at the other beds to make sure they were alone "I wish to discuss our engagement"

He frowned "I haven't proposed to you yet" She gave him a look.

"I am aware, but we both know an engagement is what our parents have in mind" She was right, of course she was.

"What do you have in mind?"

Astoria smiled wide and stared at him "I see you haven't forgotten how to play the game"

"I'm a Malfoy, Astoria. I always know how to play"

She looked extremely pleased, her hands on his arm "Well... You haven't been the same, and the company you keep now..."

"What about it?" He tried not to be on edge, using the monotone voice he would use during dinner parties. It was imperative for a Malfoy to know how to deceive, and manipulate and use truths and half truths to have the upper hand. It was a dance -a game- he knew perfectly well. Falling back into it felt as natural as slipping inside an old pair of boots. His whole being was ready to control the situation to get whatever information or favor he desired.

"You and I, Draco, would be a force to be reckoned with. Don't you think so? My social standing and connections, your thoughts and control... We would make our families happy"

"Yes, they would be pleased"

"But not us?" She kept smiling, as if they were speaking of the weather. It wasn't that she was bad, or unattractive -Draco could see the beauty in her- but he felt nothing when she was close. And he knew she didn't feel anything either.

"No, not us" He allowed a bit of honesty, knowing they were friends even if they tip toed around the information they were able to share with each other. "How's _what's-his-name_?"

"You need not worry about him. We are well"

"I'm happy for you... I never asked: is he...?"

She looked troubled for a brief second, getting up from the bed and walking towards one of the windows. Outside, the lake seemed infinite, filled with moving shadows. Draco had grown used to it. There were worse shadows inside his mind.

"He's not someone my parents wish me to marry"

Draco sighed and got up "I would be a terrible husband, Astoria"

"No, you would be a kind one" She murmured "I could be with... And you could..."

Astoria hugged herself, the green of the lake reflected on her pale skin.

"Your boyfriend does not deserve to be... Kept in the shadows"

At that, she turned with anger in her eyes "Oh, you are one to talk... Or are you not going to marry at all? I don't see you going against your family's wishes"

There was a moment of silence, and Draco sat back on the bed, his legs feeling a bit weak. He was thinking about doing exactly that, but hearing it from someone that knew exactly how risky it was... It made it feel very, very real.

"Draco" She sounded alarmed, quickly moving to his side. "Draco... Your father... You'd be burnt from your family tree... And..."

"Yes, I am aware" He looked at her and took her hands in his "I won't do this without a... Plan"

"Of course you won't" She moved forward, kissing his cheek. It felt warm, but nothing more. "What do you need?"

Draco looked down at their hands, he had stopped wearing the family ring for a while now.

"You could lose a lot, Astoria. I can't ask this of you..."

"Merlin, Draco" She sounded a bit annoyed, tightening the grip on his hands "We are friends. I wouldn't be with Felix if you hadn't... Supported me then"

He remembered that discussion. It was risky for Astoria to have a lover, but at the time he had approved purely for selfish reasons: if she had a lover, she wouldn't ask anything of him. It had been the moment that cemented their friendship. He knew something that could destroy her, and she surely suspected he was hiding something.

"Astoria, he's a mudblood isn't he?"

She nodded "He prefers _muggleborn._ And so do I" With such a simple phrase she left very clear what she thought about blood purity, and how different her views where from those of her family and his'. She was brave.

He nodded. "Of course, I-... I will support you in any way that I can"

"I thought _I_ was helping _you_ " She smirked, quick on her feet "What do you need of me?"

"I-... I need to secure a job"

She arched an eyebrow "Dad works at the ministry, surely he can put in a good word?"

"I-... Thank you" Draco wasn't sure he wanted to work there at all, but it was better than nothing "I still don't know what I wish to do. Freedom is... An odd concept, don't you think?"

Astoria nodded, thoughtful "When you decide, I will see if I can help you. Will you tell me why this change of heart?"

To tell or not to tell. And if he did, what would he say? Would he say that he was doing it because he had fallen for Potter of all people? Would he say the war broke him and while picking up the pieces he realized he didn't wish to live a lie anymore?

"No" He pulled one of her hands to his mouth and kissed it. "But you need not worry about my reasons"

"True, but I care" She tilted her head "You are all alone here... And..."

"Is that pity, Greengrass?"

She laughed and elbowed him lightly "Definitely not! I still remember that dinner party where you left me all alone with that horrible girl"

Draco laughed, those had been easier times. They had been so young and he had tried to convince himself that perhaps he would love her someday.

"I would say I'm sorry about it but you handled it pretty well on your own"

"Of course I did" She got up, all pride and elegance. Oh, if he could love her, how easy his life would be. "I'll see you later, Draco" She walked to the door and stopped for a brief moment "If you are truly going against your dad... I wish you luck"

***

Draco knew Harry was waiting for him, it was his free period after all. He had thought about going to meet him at first, but after thinking about it he realized he couldn't. Not without making something right.

So instead of going to their meeting place -Harry had slipped him a note during Potions- he walked to the second floor bathroom. It was risky going there again, _and alone_ but he had to. He _had_ to. Harry had trusted him with this and he... he had to deliver.

The hallway seemed safe enough and when he stepped through the bathroom's door he realized nothing was attacking him. Perhaps whoever had been guarding it had bored. Who would be so stupid to go back after a huge monster tried to eat two students alive?

"Myrtle?" He whispered, walking around and trying to find her. Sometimes the ghost would hide or simply be slightly out of sight. "Myrtle it's me. I won't hurt you"

Movement caught his attention and he turned, finding the ghost of the little girl near the sinks. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you"

"Why? You came here because of what happened, you don't want to see _me_ "

Draco didn't let her sobs annoy him, he simply stood there "This is important, Myrtle, a girl got hurt. I know you don't like it when girls get hurt"

She seemed to stop for a moment, looking around the place before staring back at him "But..."

"I'm your friend, right? I can-"

She wailed, flying across the room and disappearing behind a stall. Draco felt extremely confused and frustrated. How could he fail such a simple task?

"Myrtle, I just want to help..."

"Who are you talking to?"

Draco jumped, startled and turned around trying to find the voice. He wasn't supposed to be there. Not only it was a girl's bathroom, but it was one that _no one_ went, one that was _a crime scene._ Great. He must look _so_ innocent.

"Are you alright?" The young auror smiled at him, reaching for his shoulders with a calming presence.

"Yes, I-... I'm sorry, I just came to speak to Myrtle"

The auror made a small "hm" noise and let go of him, still smiling. Draco was glad it was him and not some other auror. He couldn't afford any mistakes.

"You are friends with her? I'm sure she's quite shaken. We tried to speak to her but she... cries"

Draco only nodded,  not quite sure what he should or shouldn't say. For some strange reason, though, he felt like he could trust Bell.

"She's not bad... She has helped me and... Yeah" Draco sighed, looking around the bathroom and wishing not to be there anymore "Sorry, can I leave?"

Bell tilted his head and laughed "Of course, I'm not keeping you here. But can I give you some advice, Draco?"

"Sure"

"Don't wander around all alone, someone might do something to you"

Draco felt a chill run down his spine and swallowed "I-"

"You need to be careful, you know?" The auror shrugged "This school is all weird"

"Yeah... Thanks. I'll keep that in mind" Draco started walking towards the door, a bit rattled by that. "Uhm, sorry. I-" He said, stopping to stare at the young man again "I have noticed I don't know your name?"

Bell smiled and shook his head "Don't worry about it, Draco. It's Aeron"

Draco nodded and frowned for a moment, the name... "What does it mean?"

"Oh, it's Celtic. Related to a goddess of War or something" He shrugged "Mothers, right?"

"Mine called me _dragon_ so... Yeah" Draco shrugged, but the smile on the auror's face wasn't exactly relaxed anymore.

Bell nodded "Well, go on"

Draco left the bathroom with an uneasy feeling all over his body. It was probably from Myrtle's crying. It had to be that. He convinced himself nothing else was wrong.

***

Harry had been waiting almost all of his free period for Draco, and he was starting to believe the boy wasn't going to come. Why? Had anything happened? Harry was pretty sure they were boyfriends and things had been perfect that morning -and the night before-. Draco wouldn't get cold feet, would he? Harry bit his lip and paced around the empty classroom.

What if something _bad_ had happened? They were supposed to be figuring it all out, but they had others things in mind, did they not? Dating and kissing and... Merlin.

Harry sat down on one of the empty chairs and rested his head on his hands, trying to breathe slowly to calm the beating of his heart. There was nothing wrong with taking some time for himself. There was nothing wrong with falling in love.

_Falling in love._

His head felt heavy and noisy, so he got up again, and started pacing back and forth. He had no clue what love was, was love this? was it what they had done last night?

The door opened and he stopped, wand ready at his side. He expected... he didn't know what he expected. But what he got was Draco, with a small smile on his face, closing the door behind him.

"Sorry I'm late"

"No, it's okay" Harry's feet moved him without him even thinking about it. He cupped Draco's face between his hands and stared into his eyes, he seemed... "You are shaken, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" He stared back but seemed to give up his facade "I just... went back to Myrtle's bathroom... It was pointless"

"Did something happen?"

Draco shook his head, placing his hands on Harry's wrists, keeping him close this time "No, not really. She started crying and screaming and... didn't say a word about the attack. I think she's scared"

Harry sighed and nodded, pressing his forehead against Draco's. They were almost pressed against the classroom's door, which was a good thing because they didn't want anyone coming in there uninvited. Harry had made sure the classroom would be empty -no one was supposed to be there.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

"Am now" Draco's voice was but a whisper, his eyes closed, his face inches away from his own. Harry didn't think it twice, moving close enough to kiss him. The rhythm had become familiar by now, and his lips a new warmth his body ached for. At first Harry didn't know when it was okay to kiss someone: do you wait for them to kiss you or do you kiss first? do you have to ask every time? How do you know someone wants to be kissed? But right now, with Draco, he knew exactly when and how. He knew Draco desired him, he had _seen_ it the night before and he could feel it in the way their lips touched.

He felt safe. Harry didn't remember the last time he had felt safe with someone, not like this.

"Wanted to do this all morning"

"Did you, now?" Draco was smiling, Harry could tell but he didn't care. Being this close to him felt perfect.

Draco's arms hugged his waist so he rested his hands behind his neck, unable to move away from him. He wanted to do this out in the open, but he didn't want Draco to lose his family. Even if his family was horrible.  
  
"Shut up"

Draco chuckled and tilted his head back to stare at him "How was your morning?"

"Normal, I guess. Forgot some homework..."

"How come you are such a bad student? I know you study, I've seen your books and notes" Draco frowned, his hands pressing softly against Harry's back to move him closer to his body "And now you don't have an excuse"

"It's just... I don't know" Harry sighed "I guess I... have a lot on my mind?"

Draco didn't press further, only moving to kiss him again: slowly this time.

"You can share it, you know? What you have on your mind" Harry didn't answer, looking away but feeling the slytherin's gaze on him.

Harry finally pulled away, sitting on a chair a few feet away from him. It's not that he wanted to be away from Draco, but talking about stuff like that -about his mind and his feelings- made him uncomfortable. He couldn't handle it.

No one had ever cared, no one wanted to know what was going on with him or how he felt. It was true his friends cared, but he didn't have the heart to burden them with all of his shit. And now Draco was there, giving him an opportunity to speak. What to say? Some things were buried so deep within him that bringing them to light... terrified him. What if it broke him?

"I-... I can't" Harry sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair.

"Okay" Draco dragged a chair and sat in front of him "It doesn't have to be right now, but... one day?"

Harry nodded, not sure about it "Yeah, one day" He could see Draco was staring as if he wanted to say something, his brow slightly furrowed. "What?"

"I really shouldn't say"

Now he _needed_ to know "Just say it, Draco"

There was a moment of silence and then a sigh "There's always going to be another case, Harry. Another Death Eater, another dark wizard hurting people" Harry had no idea what he was talking about, but his heart was racing "I know you, or... at least I think I do" Draco looked around the room, the specs of dust filling in the silence for them "You have thought about becoming an auror, and... and I-..." Harry felt his mouth dry, he didn't dare say a word. "You are never leaving the war behind if you... go for it"  Draco finally looked back at him, grey eyes burning "There will always be _another_ case, another hurt, another battle. And you'll never..."

Harry got up from his chair as if it had been pushed from underneath him. His heart was pounding and his hands turned into fists. He had no clue why he was reacting like this, but everything in his body told him to run, to run and never look back. Draco didn't move.

"You are free to do whatever you wish to, Harry, I don't-"

"Yeah, you _don't_ know what you are talking about"

Draco stared at him, still sitting "Maybe I don't. But I care about you... and you are not okay and it's... you are allowed to be-"

His feet were glued to the floor, unable to move or react, but he felt as if he was falling. " _I'm fine_ " The words sounded hollow and fake and he knew he was lying, he knew his whole reality was a lie, his whole life. He wanted to break something. He wanted to...

Draco got up immediately when the glass vials on one of the classroom's shelves started to shake. Harry couldn't remember the last time his magic had gone wild but...

"Harry, Harry... calm down" He reached out to him, but Harry's body jerked back, his eyes focusing on the floor because if he stared at Draco he would absolutely break. "It's okay... It's okay"

"No. _NO IT'S NOT_ "

Harry moved back as if he had been punched by his own words. His whole body tilted forward, trying to hug himself, trying to cover the deep wound that was inside his chest -the one no one could see. He didn't want to cry, he really didn't and he didn't feel like he was going to cry. He felt something much worse: he felt as if he was going to scream and break absolutely everything in that room.

"Harry... " Draco was still there, he hadn't left and he was speaking in the same soothing voice he knew so well. Why? Why not leave him? Harry moved backwards until he hit the wall and that was enough for his knees to give up. He allowed himself to sit on the floor, knees immediately going up to his chest. In the worst moments of his life, deep down, he wished to be under the stairs again. It had been a horrible place to live, but it was small and _his_ and he had lulled himself to sleep more nights than he could count. It was the only thing he knew.

When Draco touched his shoulder he noticed he was crying. No. Not _crying._ Sobbing, and not the quiet ones he had allowed himself. This was loud and shameful and he didn't want Draco to see it, he didn't want anyone to see it.

He covered his face with his arms and tried to become a little ball and disappear. So many nights and days he had pretended not to exist with the Durlseys, he could do it again, right? He could just disappear and be a ghost and perhaps everyone would be better off. Draco would certainly be better off.

"I'm here... You are not alone" Draco kept whispering, moving closer and Harry could feel him, of course he could. Why was he still there? He needed to leave him. How could Draco not see how pathetic he was? How weak?

"My... my fault... everything" Harry mumbled in between sobs, not fully aware of what he was saying but knowing how much he meant it. If he had died -or never been born- his parents would be alive. Someone else would have killed Voldemort. Sirius would be alive. Lupin would be alive. Tonks would be alive. Dobby would be alive. Everyone that ever loved him would live. They would all be alive if he were dead.

Draco hugged him, sitting next to him. Slowly making him lean into him. Harry wanted to hate him for doing this, for being there and making him weak but he couldn't. He pressed his face against his chest, allowing himself to be held.  

For a moment Harry thought Draco was shaking, until he realized he was sobbing so loudly he was moving the other boy. He covered his mouth with a hand, feeling how wet his cheeks were. Shame filled him completely, crying was not allowed. Crying this loudly? _Not_ allowed.

"I'm here" Draco said, kissing the top of his head. His shirt was wet with his tears and Harry was sure he was annoyed at him. Anyone would be, right?

"Why? Why aren't you leaving?" The words were hard to pronounce and Harry hated the way his voice sounded.

"I won't leave you, Harry. It's okay to cry"

"No, it's not"

Draco squeezed him a bit tighter "Why not? I cry _all the time_ "

It was clear the slytherin was trying to make him feel better, to make him smile or laugh. Harry felt wrecked.

"I never cry" Harry moved just enough to see his grey eyes. Thankfully he wasn't being looked at with pity nor worry. Draco was soft, all around. "I... I just..." There was silence, and Harry felt that perhaps he could share _some_ of what he was feeling. "When I was... a child I would cry and... no one would come"

Draco's expression changed for a brief moment, it was a pained expression. Something Harry hadn't seen before in him.

"I'm sorry, Harry. They were bad people"

"Were they?" Harry whispered

"Yes"

Harry knew they were... but sometimes... Sometimes life was more complicated than that. Lucius Malfoy was, objectively, a bad person and yet Draco loved him. The Dursleys had been the only _blood_ family he had ever known. Sometimes he hated them. Sometimes he didn't know what he felt.

"You know, if you want me to, I can give them _one hell of a scare_ " Harry chuckled at that, shaking his head.

"Not worth it. And... I already did that, I think"

Draco smirked and kissed the top of his head, shifting his body just enough to be able to keep him close to his body and be comfortable at the same time.

"Shit, Draco, aren't we late for class or something? You have to-..."

"Shut up, Potter, I'm not leaving you"

Harry didn't know what else to say to that. He felt like a burden.

"Crying is good for you" Draco spoke, touching Harry's cheeks as if to dry some forgotten tears "You might feel like shit right now, but tomorrow you will feel better. At least that's what Mother used to say"

Harry looked at him, and realization hit him. When he first met Draco's parents, he had immediately thought of Draco as a small Lucius. But right now? He could see the truth. Draco was more like his mother than his father. He was cunning, ambitious, misguided -but not evil-, and warm. Harry wondered if Draco realized this. If he realized how much he had in common with Narcissa. Had Lucius noticed it as well? Was that why he was so hard on Draco?

"She really thinks crying is fine?"

Draco nodded "Yes. Not publicly but yes. When I understood that crying in front of my father was... not the best thing to do, I started doing it in private. Of course mother would come soothe me if she-" Draco stopped, looking down at Harry for a moment not quite sure if he should be sharing something like this. Harry wanted him to. He had no mother to remember, he wouldn't feel sad. Perhaps a bit envious. Still, he was glad Draco had a mother that loved him. "if she heard me. She would say that crying allows the pain to flow away from our bodies and minds. That if one wishes to be... strong, one needs to get rid of the unnecessary hurt"

Harry arched an eyebrow.

"I know" Draco said with a chuckle "I know it's weird but they were shaping me back then. Mother wanted me to be strong, she knew what being a pure blood meant. She still does..."

"I was told not to cry"

"I can tell" Draco pressed his head against the stone wall and closed his eyes "I'm glad you did. Not that I like seeing you cry, of course, but it's good. You'll see"

"I doubt that"

There was a small smile on Draco's lips that said _'you'll see'_ and Harry wanted to reach out and kiss it out of his face but he didn't have the strength to do so. How was he going to face the rest of the day? He wanted the support Draco was giving him, but they couldn't just walk holding hands through Hogwarts, could they? Ugh. He felt a headache coming.

"Potter"

"Mh?" Harry felt his eyes heavy and he almost wanted to take a nap right there on the floor, with his head still resting on Draco's chest.

"I shouldn't be spending so much time at the Tower with you" Harry felt his chest tighten "but if you need me tonight..."

"No. I am fine"

"Potter, _stop_ pretending to be okay"

Harry groaned and closed his eyes "Fine"

"It's settled then" He felt a kiss on his forehead and Draco's body move. "Come on, the floor is _dirty"_

Harry couldn't help but laugh at that, nodding and moving away to allow him to get up. Sometimes he forgot Draco was a _snob._

"We are already late for Charms so we might as well not go" Draco didn't sound too happy about that "So it's one more class, then dinner and then we are done. I'll..."

"You...?"

"Well, people already know we are friends. Might as well act accordingly"

"Are you sure you are ready to handle the rest of the day with...?"

"With your friends?" Draco laughed "Obviously. What are they going to do to me? Please, Potter, you underestimate me"

Harry smirked "Sure, Draco. Whatever you say"

***

Draco had tried not to be bored but he wasn't being included in the conversation, not exactly. He had decided to follow Harry around, partly because he _wanted_ to be near him and partly because he had seen how sad he was. He knew he wasn't good with words, or comforting people but he had _tried_.

There were things Harry had lived he had no idea, and others he didn't know how he endured. And to top it all off the war had left them both a complete mess. Draco knew the following... months? years? would be filled with screams, and crying and nightmares. If he was going to go through all of that, he wanted it to be next to Harry.

Sadly, he was sure Harry would prefer to go through his nightmares and breakdowns alone.

Draco was brought back from his thoughts by a small brush of hands. Harry was still focused on Hermione, talking about... something boring, but his hand had wandered and reached his. They didn't hold hands, but the soft touch was enough for Draco to doubt: perhaps Harry wanted to be with him through all of it.

The one thing that _was_ interesting was eavesdropping on the conversations happening around them. Someone had whispered: _I heard they are friends now_ when they saw Draco sitting with them, and someone had replied _Potter wouldn't befriend a Death Eater_. People would stare and whisper and Draco was enjoying it. No one thought they were having a romantic relationship, and yes, they were saying nasty things about him but he hadn't expected anything else.

He was about to let his mind wander off when the conversation shifted.

"We haven't seen them. Pomfrey said they are in Elliot's room, they emptied the other beds and everything"

Draco stared at Hermione for a brief moment before speaking "How's Noah? What happened exactly?"

They filled him in, very briefly but the words were enough.

"We should go see them" He spoke only to Harry, because he didn't need the others. What would they do?

"If he's still asleep I don't see how it would help us"

Draco wanted to roll his eyes "We don't know if he's still asleep, he could be awake. Besides..." He stared into Harry's eyes, trying to make him understand. Even if Noah was still knocked out, Elliot was all alone.

Harry seemed to understand him, or trust him enough to nod and agree. "Alright, we'll go"

Ron rolled his eyes, amusing him. Was he jealous? Draco almost wanted to place an arm around Harry's shoulders _just_ to see his reaction. Merlin.

The Great Hall was packed as it always was during dinner time but Draco hadn't stared around the room as much as he used to. He didn't want to see the faces of the other slytherins. It was true that a lot of students sat with other houses to have dinner, but a Slytherin among Gryffindors? A Malfoy?

A little voice inside his head told him his father would hear about it and there would be hell to pay but he silenced it. What hell would his father make him endure now? The memories from the war were enough to keep him awake for years.

" _Eat_ " Draco whispered, pressing a hand on Harry's knee. His startled reaction was enough to make him smile. It was incredible how little Harry ate. It was true that he had been a whole year on the run, eating whatever they had -which he had said hadn't been much- and surviving purely on adrenaline but now they were safe. And Harry needed to stay healthy. He needed to start taking care of himself.

Did his friends not see that? _Gryffindors._

"So, Malfoy" Draco looked at the young Weasley girl. Ugh. "What are you going to do after the school year's over?"

It was a simple question, demanding a simple answer but he didn't have one. So he shrugged.

Everyone seemed to tense up when he was included in the conversation, so he focused on eating. That way everyone could go back to what they were doing and ignore him again.

"Harry says you are good with potions" Merlin, was she not going to stop?

"I guess I am" Draco did feel his heart jump a bit at the mention of Harry _talking to his friends about him_. "I don't really know what I'm going to do with that"

"Being a Potionist is a decent job"

Draco wanted to get up and run away. "I guess it is"

"It can be more than a decent job" Granger said, because of course she had something to add. As if he didn't know the world he _had been born in._ "If you are really great you could invent new ones. Some great wizards have-"

"Herm" Harry said, in a sweet tone that Draco envied. He could never speak like that to anyone. Well, perhaps only to Harry... and in private. "He knows. And... I think we shouldn't talk about jobs yet? I mean it's... a pretty big deal"

"Of course" She sounded almost apologetic and Draco had no clue why. "So if you are going to check on Noah please let Elliot know we are all worried"

Ron nodded.

If one thing could be said about those Gryffindors it was how... surprisingly loyal they were. Draco couldn't quite picture Pansy worrying over some boys she didn't know.

"We will" Harry pushed his plate to the side -it was empty, thank Merlin- and got up from the table. "Draco?"

"Sure" His own plate was half full but he wasn't that hungry, not really.

  


"You were quiet"

Draco shrugged as they walked "You were talking with your friends, it was better this way"

"Don't be stupid" Harry said, frowning when they turned left and started down another hallway "They don't _hate_ you"

"Potter, it was b-"

Harry grabbed him by his shirt, pulled him behind a tapestry and kissed him. It was a small peck on the lips but it felt incredible. "Let them know you like I know you"

"Alright" He whispered, leaning down to kiss him again "I will _try_ "

"That's all I'm asking"

Draco didn't dare say anything else and they both lingered behind the tapestry more than they should've. When they finally resumed their walk, both of them felt much more relaxed and a small smile curved their lips. The dungeons weren't far, and Draco wished for Harry to have the invisibility cloak but of course he had forgotten it.

"Come on, there's no point in you not knowing the password" Draco sighed, this was an open alliance. He knew anyone that saw him walk into his common room _with_ Potter would know where his loyalties were. He wasn't exactly sure that was a good thing, but it was the only way to do the _right_ thing.

So he said the password and pulled him inside. This time people stared, aware of both of them. _No time to be a coward,_ Draco thought and smiled.

"Come on, Potter, we don't have all day" He said, a bit loudly so people would hear as they walked towards Elliot's room.

The door opened after two knocks and the boy stared at them, clearly relaxed. Happy, even.

"Elliot, how's-?"

"See for yourself" He moved aside allowing them to enter. The dormitory had been emptied except for Elliot's bed. Draco knew this had been done to let Noah stay down there. It was strange that the Headmistress would allow an injured student to remain inside _another student's dormitory_. This wasn't even Noah's house. But if things were as dire as he imagined, perhaps McGonagall had been wise.

He had expected Noah to be asleep, or worse but the boy was sitting with a tired expression. His hair was a mess and he looked pale, as if someone had given him a huge scare.

"He's awake?"

"I am" Noah looked at them, frowning "How's Bea?"

Elliot tensed up but didn't speak, sitting right next to him. Draco suspected the slytherin hadn't moved from that spot since the attack.

"She's fine. She's... fine" Harry said, convincing no one. The girl was at the infirmary and that was all they knew about her, really, but it would have to be enough.

"We came to see how you were, everyone's-" Draco tried, but Elliot interrupted almost immediately.

"I know why you came here: for information" He rolled his eyes "Noah doesn't remember anything. We already talked. The only thing he..."

Noah slumped back against the pillows, his eyes closing for a moment or two. It was no surprise he was tired, especially if he had been given sleeping potions. Draco hated them, they would make you _sleep_ but you wouldn't _rest,_ not really.

"Don't be annoying, Elliot" Noah whispered and opened his eyes, moving a hand around the bed until he found something "Here... This is what I remember"

Harry moved forward, taking the piece of paper and staring at it. There were no words, but a simple drawing. It was a circle with something that looked like a pentagram but the lines weren't straight. On every corner were symbols, some of them seemed like the runes they had studied, others were strange.

Draco felt his own breathing stop, the pounding of his heart inside his chest. _Fear._

"I... I know what this is" He whispered, feeling everyone's stares "And it's not good"

"What do you mean, not good?" Harry said in the same worried tone, looking at him and then the paper over and over again.

"You all... _raised by muggles_ " He didn't mean to say it  but it came out, from fear and frustration. He could feel Harry's reaction but wasn't brave enough to look at him, so instead he walked over to the bed and placed the paper over the covers "This is old magic"

Harry moved closer to the bed as well, but he could feel how tense he was. "Old? How old?"

"Extremely old. Like... pre-wand era"

Elliot was throwing daggers at him, and honestly he didn't blame him. "Dark magic. The type _your family_ would know. This has nothing to do with who raised us... No, you know? It does. You were raised by monsters, therefore you know this monstrous magic!"

Silence fell around them and Draco stared back "And here I thought you were bad with your words, Elliot" He knew his tone was cold and dangerous but he was feeling _quite angry_ "Any decent family would teach about this. But no, we do not _use this sort of magic_ "

Harry sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Can anyone explain a bit better? Draco, could you just...?"

He looked at the Gryffindor and nodded, feeling a pang of guilt at his own actions. "This is the sort of magic done with... sacrifices, and blood and _nature_ and... it's just bad. It always comes with some terrible price"

Noah was frowning at the paper "I drew it when I woke up, it was the only thing I could remember without having a terrible headache"

Elliot placed a hand on his shoulder, for comfort, surely.

"I've seen this sort of thing before" Harry finally spoke, sitting on the bed "Not _that_ but when Voldemort came back... they were doing some weird magic"

"This doesn't look like necromancy but it could be. Anything could be with this type of thing"

There was an uncomfortable silence, no one daring to stare at the paper for too long. What if the drawing came to life? What if by staring at it they gave it power over them?

"This is also good" Draco finally spoke, his mind racing "Actually, this is how we catch them"

Harry seemed to perk up at that, looking at him like he did when he was about to kiss him. Oh, Draco's heart skipped a beat when he saw him staring like that.

"What do you mean?"

"We need to find this exact spell, or whatever, and once we do... This type of magic comes with specific instructions"

"What, like, _only during a full moon with the corpses of virgins_?"

"Exactly" Draco didn't even look at Elliot "It would state the place, the time, the conditions. If someone is going to do this... we will know where, when and how"

"That's brilliant. You are brilliant" Harry whispered, getting up from the bed and almost reaching for him. Almost. Almost.

"We got them" Draco said, placing the paper in Harry's hands -mostly as an excuse to touch him.

"We got them"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is going to be around 22-24 chapters total, not quite sure but it kinda seems that way. Hope you are liking this! xx


	19. Preparations

Elliot sat on the bed next to his own, getting ready to go to sleep. It was calming to see Noah awake again, safe. The hufflepuff was staring up, laying on his bed with the blankets up to his waist.

They had been left alone after Harry and Malfoy decided they should all meet after breakfast to try and find the symbols Noah drew. Of course Elliot noticed how Harry was going to spend the night in the Slytherin's bedroom but didn't comment. What they did or didn't do wasn't something he worried about. 

"They are _really_ friendly now" Noah spoke when the lights were out. He turned to try to see him, but his eyes weren't used to the darkness yet.

"Who? Ah. Yes, I guess" Elliot didn't want to talk about anything involving Malfoy "How are you feeling?"

There was a sigh and the rustle of sheets. "Tired. My head hurts if I try to remember what happened but other than that I'm great"

"That's good" Elliot bit down his lip, hard. He wanted to say so many things to him, but didn't know if he should. Noah had no feelings for him, and that... That was okay as long as they were friends. Risking their friendship was something Elliot wasn't ready to do.

"I'm so glad I'm here and not in the Infirmary"

"They thought it would be better for you to stay here..."

"I hate hospitals"

Elliot made a soft _'mh'_ sound, his eyes slowly accommodating to the lack of light. "Are muggle hospitals that bad?"

"Yes" A pause "Well, no. They are fine, but they always... I just hate it"

He could see Noah now, frowning, looking up towards the ceiling.

"I thought you had that cool healer"

"They are called _'doctors'_ and yeah she's cool but... You have to meet a lot of people, nurses, other doctors, employees... And they'd look at my ID and use the _wrong_ name"

Elliot groaned "Jerks"

There was a small laugh from the other bed "Yeah, pretty much." Noah had taught him a whole lot about the muggle world, and about gender and sexuality. He had no idea that muggles had words for everything or how... Fluid everything _could_ be. It had opened his eyes, and he knew how much it hurt Noah when someone used the wrong name. The one Elliot had almost forgotten by now.

"I can hex them for you"

Noah laughed "No need, I'm fine"

Their last sleepover had been... So long ago. Before the war, during the holidays. Their families had always been very supportive of their friendship, even if they were fundamentally different. Elliot had been raised by wizards, and Noah had been raised in the muggle world (his mother was a witch, his dad a muggle). It made no difference to them, well, the only difference was that Noah knew what a television was and Elliot had had no idea when they met.

"Remember..." Noah said, laughing "that stupid dance they did, the year of the triwizard whatever?"

Elliot chuckled "Yeah, we were third years... We weren't really supposed to be there at all"

"You let me borrow one of your suits"

"Yeah" Elliot sat up, the memory fresh in his mind "You looked..."

"Stupid?"

"What? No. Uh, handsome"

"Thanks" There was a brief pause and Elliot saw him move, sitting on the bed instead of laying there "You too"

"So" Elliot cleared his throat, ready to change the subject "we tried to sneak in... Do you even remember why?"

Noah shrugged "Something about _'why can't we go? We are old enough!'_ "

They laughed again in the darkness of the room, where no one could see or disturb them.

"We ended up hiding... Too bad we didn't have any fire whiskey"

"We were _thirteen_ "

" _Old enough_ "

Laughter shook Elliot as much as Noah. Both of them smiling at the inside jokes and shared memories. They knew each other for so long now. Elliot still remembered how hard it had been for him to express his truest self to the world. The failed Yule Ball was a nice memory. That student dying later that year was a bad memory. Noah crying in his arms because his parents didn't understand him wasn't a good memory. The war that took most of their youth wasn't a good memory.

Elliot wanted to get up and cuddle up next to Noah, but it wasn't like they were thirteen anymore. Back then they were friends and he had no weird feelings. Right now? If he moved closer, he would be wishing for a kiss.

"Elliot? What's wrong?"

"I-... Nothing, sorry"

"Are you sure?" Now that his eyes had grown used to the dark, he could see a soft green glow behind the curtains- the lake. He wondered how that light would look on Noah's skin.

"I'm sure... Just thinking about the war" It was a half truth, but it would be enough to cover up his real thoughts.

"That's a cop-out" Or maybe not.

"Ugh"

Noah chuckled "Come here, we've been sharing beds since forever"

"I-... I don't know"

"You don't know?" There was a pause and Elliot wondered if realization would ever hit Noah. If he would see what he had tried to conceal for so long.

"Sorry, it's... I move a lot now" Elliot tried, laying down again and turning so his back would be to him. It was better this way, if he closed his eyes he could almost pretend he was alone in his room.

"Goodnight"

He didn't answer, pulling the bed sheets over his head.

***

Draco's room was empty when they got in, which apparently wasn't strange since only two other boys slept there. The slytherin explained very briefly that his roommates came in late, but didn't bothered him. They were still energized from the discovery and the thought of finally getting over with whatever was going on. Truth was Draco hadn't been eager to investigate and get drawn into something dangerous, so Harry could understand why he was so pleased now.

Who could blame him? They had gone through enough as it was. A little voice inside Harry's head told him he didn't want to be involved in something dangerous either, but he shushed it.

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay here?" Draco nodded while taking off his shoes and climbing onto his bed.

"Yes, why not? I've stayed at the Tower have I not?"

"Yeah, but you said we should go back to sleeping alone"

There was a brief pause and Harry almost expected to be sent back to his bedroom.

"Not today. Come here"

He didn't need to be told twice. He took off his shoes, placing them neatly underneath the bed before sliding next to Draco. The curtains closed around them and he placed the charms he knew so well. One to not be heard, another to not be disturbed, and another so no one could open the curtains or counter his spells.

Harry stared at the green fabric, feeling a bit out of his element. His thoughts were cut short when Draco's hand slithered on his shoulder, bringing him a bit closer.

"Kiss me"

It was a whisper but it was all he needed. Harry moved closer, kissing him with all the energy and giddiness the news had left in him. It was strange to think how bad he had felt just a couple hours ago. They were alone in a bed and Harry wasn't sure if he wanted to stop or go as far as Draco would allow.

He nibbed at Draco's lower lip, feeling the softness of it, the way his breath hitched and his eyes closed. Merlin. How could someone be so beautiful?

Harry felt Draco's hands on the front of his shirt and then a snapping sound followed, as the buttons of his shirt scattered in between them. He almost wanted to protest, even if his whole body reacted very well to it.

"You can fix it with magic later" He heard, the words mumbled over his own lips. He couldn't even get angry, not when they were kissing like that. A wave of heat ran through his belly and downwards when their tongues touched, incredibly soft, incredibly intimate.

Turning off the last bit of his brain that was still functioning he pulled at Draco's shirt just as he had, not knowing what reaction he would get. Draco didn't complain, instead he moaned inside their kiss and Harry decided in that instant he would snap every single button in all of his clothing just to hear that again.

The bedroom was still light up, and even though they were behind thick curtains, they could clearly see each other. This wasn't like last time, when they had been safe in the dark. Draco didn't seem bothered by it, moving his hands through his chest and back as if he was feeling the world for the first time.

"Fuck" Harry shifted, pushing Draco against the mattress to get on top. Their legs intertwined perfectly, almost as if rehearsed and Harry kept kissing, pulling, teasing.

He felt how Draco dragged his fingernails against one of his shoulder blades and groaned. Merlin.

In an attempt to control the situation, or perhaps acting on instinct alone, he grabbed Draco's wrists, pining both of his arms against the pillows over his head. He slightly pulled back, as if to stare at his prey. Draco was breathing heavily, a playful smirk on his lips. It was enough to drive him crazy, truly crazy. Draco pulled at his arms, squirming underneath him but without any real strength. He wasn't trying to get away, but he was teasing. Harry smirked back, pressing his wrists tighter against the pillows.

He left a hand on his wrists, moving down to kiss his neck, feeling his short breaths and quiet sounds. There was something incredibly special about Draco giving in, asking nothing in return. Perhaps his brain was as shut down as his own.

Harry moved a hand down in between them, trying to open his belt. "Is this okay?" he asked, stopping for a few seconds.

"Yes"

He looked down to try and undo his belt but...

Draco laughed "One belt buckle is enough to defeat the chosen one. We should spread the news"

Harry groaned, slightly ashamed and sat back, releasing him from his hold "It's hard with just one hand!"

"Oh, is it?" Draco sat as well, and used only one hand to undo Harry's belt as well as his own. "You were saying...?"

"I'll wipe that smug grin off your face" Harry said, kissing him again while they both did their best to remove their pants without having to pull apart. They failed, of course, Harry having to sit back to take them completely off. Neither seemed to care, and Harry almost caught Draco _staring_.

"My turn" Draco said, grabbing at his shoulders and making him roll just enough to have his back against the mattress. Looking up and seeing Draco's face was almost too much for his heart, it was like staring at the sun: you want to see it but it's too bright, warm, intense.

Draco kissed his neck, pressing a hand to the bed to keep himself steady. He was so glad they had gotten rid of most of their clothing by now. His teeth pulled at the skin, and his whole body reacted, sound escaping from his lips. There was no guide for this, and yet their bodies seemed to know exactly what they needed.

"I want to use my mouth on you" Draco whispered next to his ear. He groaned, head pressed against the pillow. "Will you let me?"

"Yes... Yes, please" it was hard not to beg, his mind racing. He wasn't a complete prude, he knew exactly what Draco was talking about but he had never felt it. Hell, he hadn't even wondered how it would feel...

The slytherin moved down with his kisses, hands pulling at his underwear all the way down. A pang of fear ran through his chest. What if Draco hated him? Or hated doing this or...?

He bit down hard on his lip, trying not to be noisy but Draco was leaving wet kisses all over his stomach and it was driving him wild.

The room was a bit dark, yes, but they could both see enough.

Long slender fingers closed around his cock, stroking him softly and driving all of his doubts away. Harry wanted to keep his eyes open, to stare at Draco, to... To keep this moment inside of his mind forever, but they closed. His entire body focused on the sensations Draco was awakening. It felt like fire. Fire running under his skin, through his veins, melting his brain and vanishing all of his insecurities.

"Draco, I-" He didn't know what he wanted to say, because just as he was about to speak, Draco's mouth kissed the head of his cock and it was too much. A whimper escaped his lips, his knuckles turning white from clutching the sheets. If he didn't concentrate he was going to finish way too soon. Merlin, it was so _good_... Draco kept giving soft, quiet kisses, his fingers touching all of him, slowly as if he wanted to torture him.

He knew Draco's lips were soft, he had felt them over his own and over his skin but this? He could feel exactly how soft, how warm, how wet they were.

Harry was sure he'd have been able to finish just from that, but he should've known Draco was going all the way with this.

His arm pulled at the sheets as a reflex when he felt Draco's mouth _all around him_. It was almost too much, too good, too perfect. One of his hands went to his hair, tugging at it, digging his fingers in between the golden strands.

His rhythm was slow - Harry was sure he wouldn't be able to survive if he went any faster. How could his body feel both light and heavy at the same time? He was hyper aware of every single sensation, and he was about to melt and disappear into the air as well.

The pressure of Draco's tongue against his shaft was more than enough to make him moan, despite his own attempts to be quiet. Underneath his hand he felt the movements of Draco's head, up and down, slow but dedicated.

Harry opened his eyes and, gathering all of his strength, looked down at the other boy. The image alone almost threw him over the edge, but he dug his fingers harder against the sheets trying not to be 'too quick'. Draco had his eyes closed but he seemed to be enjoying it almost as much as he was.

He had to look away, or he would come right then and there and he didn't want it to end. Not yet.

"Draco-"

There was some movement and the rustle of the sheets and he realized Draco was touching himself. It hit him harder than he expected, his whole body shivering.

"I'm... You... You should-"

Draco didn't stop, clearly having found his rhythm. Instead, he moaned and Harry felt the vibrations all over his skin, all around him. Suddenly it was too much, and he was too weak to keep holding back. Too weak.

With a loud moan he felt himself shake, violently. If he hadn't been so lost, he might have felt ashamed. But his whole brain was off, his heart pounding in his ears and stars exploding behind his eyelids.

Draco sucked him through his orgasm, being extremely careful not to hurt him. When he pulled back, his hair was wild and his lips shined as if someone had been violently kissing him.

Harry didn't know what to say, but he knew what he needed: he pulled Draco close to him, hugging him with both arms. They were quite sticky with sweat but he didn't care.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked, kissing his shoulder and moving back just to see his face.

"I'm... Yeah. You?"

Draco nodded with a smirk on his face "Never been better"

They didn't move, and Draco looked as spent as he was. Harry tried not to feel guilty for not doing the same for him, but he was unable to move a single muscle.

"Did you...?"

"Yes, I did" Draco nuzzled his neck, pulling back and laying next to him. His hands searched for the sheets and he quickly covered himself up to his waist. Harry found it endearing, but didn't comment.

"I never..." His mind was still a mess, there was no reality in which he would ever forget that night. "Draco?"

The blond had his eyes closed and seemed a bit sleepy "Hm?"

Harry felt slightly revitalized but he knew he would crash soon as well. In a quick movement, he got on top of Draco, hands right next to his head. He opened his eyes, staring at him with a smile.

"Hey, I don't think I can keep going" There was a softness in his tone that made something move inside of him. Draco caressed his cheek and his face turned towards the palm of his hand, following his touch.

"I want to do everything with you, Draco"

He chuckled "I was that good, hm?"

"I mean it" Harry leaned in, kissing him on the lips. There was a soft sound of surprise before Draco draped an arm around his back, giving into the kiss "I... I want everything with you"

"Me too" It was a whisper so low he barely heard it.

"Not... Not only in bed" Harry kept himself closer to the boy, feeling their bodies touching in every single place.

"I-... Me too"

There was another kiss, intimate, a kiss that they would never do in public. A kiss that was for them alone.

"Come here" Harry whispered, trying to accommodate himself next to Draco. The slytherin cuddled against his chest, resting his head on one of his arms and fell asleep almost immediately. Harry almost wanted to laugh, but Draco looked way too peaceful.

He covered himself with the sheets and pulled the blankets over both of them, knowing Draco would wake up freezing without them.

Alright, Harry wasn't exactly sure what his sexuality was but he was sure he was more than attracted to Draco. Something inside his head told him he wouldn't feel this again, not with anyone else. This time he didn't shush the voice, he allowed himself a moment of peace, of daydreaming. When his eyes closed, his mind kept coming up with scenarios where he was happy and loved. Scenarios where they stayed together.

***

The next weeks went by in a blur. On top of all the classes they had to attend and all the homework he had to catch up on, they had to investigate the strange symbol Noah drew. Their days consisted on going to class, and then spending every free moment they had on reading strange books, or trying to sneak into the forbidden section of the library.

Harry was feeling quite good, if he was honest with himself. Some days he felt terrible and the only thing he wished for was dying but there were good days as well, he tried to focus on those.

The nights were the worst part of their new routine. Draco had told him they couldn't keep sleeping with each other or people would start to suspect. Harry knew it wasn't exactly _that_. The slytherin wanted to be back in his house to test the waters and see his friends -if he had any left- and Harry respected that. But it didn't make anything easier. The nightmares had returned for both of them, and this time there was nobody there when they woke up.

Of course this little change in their sleeping habits hadn't gotten in the way of their 'sexual awakening'. Harry was quite sure it only made him want to touch Draco more. They were as careful as they could, pulling each other into empty classrooms during free periods, or broom closets, or bathroom stalls... They hadn't gone all the way yet, neither wanting to have sex in a dusty room or in a bathroom where more than once they would be in an extremely uncomfortable position or hurrying not to get caught.

There were days when Harry considered sneaking out to Hogsmeade with him again but with the N.E.W.Ts coming they barely had any time left.

Harry felt a weight on his shoulder. Draco. They had been researching for hours and it was getting late. Had he not noticed how tired Draco was? His eyes were closed and his head rested on his shoulder. They weren't exactly alone, Harry felt a pang of fear.

Hermione had her head buried in a book, completely oblivious. Next to her Ron didn't seem to care, shrugging when Harry stared at him.

Tranquility washed over him, his friends were good, good people.

He placed a hand on Draco's knee and pressed softly. "Hey"

Draco jumped almost immediately, opening his eyes and scanning the page he had been reading "Sorry"

"It's late, we should wrap this up" Hermione was right, of course, but they were losing time already and no book seemed to hold the answers they needed.

"No, I'll stay" Draco mumbled, focusing on the book he had in front of himself, Harry could see his eyelids closing for more than a few seconds at a time.

"You need to go to bed" He whispered gently, closing the book despite the look he was receiving.

"We still haven't found what we are looking for!"

"No, but... Hermione had an idea"

"What idea?"

Both Ron and Draco seemed confused and intrigued. "If you knew about this type of magic, then perhaps someone else might know. A pureblood"

"I can't send that drawing to my parents, Aurors would read the letter and we'd get in trouble"

"Not your parents... Andromeda"

There was a long pause, Draco refusing to look at him. "Very well... Write to her"

Oh. Harry felt bad.

"I already did"

And now Draco looked as if he had been betrayed. "What?"

"Yeah, I-... Acted on impulse?"

Hermione got up, dragging Ron behind "We'll leave you two alone" They didn't even bothered waiting for an answer. With the passing of the days, his friends had grown used to their new dynamic, to the way he interacted with Draco... And they had grown used to Malfoy as well.

Harry started stacking the books they had already gone through, placing the others inside his bag. He could feel the boy's eyes on him the whole time.

"She's my aunt"

"Do I need _permission_ to contact her?"

Draco seemed to be fighting with himself and Harry knew things could get ugly. Things had been incredibly well so far, neither of them hurting the other too much. They would fight, of course, but they were careful with each other's feelings.

"No" A pause. "But I would have liked to know"

"I'm sorry, didn't think you would care"

Draco looked around, they had been left alone so he could speak frankly "I... She's my aunt. And I... Might end up like her"

Oh. Well, Harry felt worse now. He held Draco's hand under the table and squeezed it a bit. "You won't... But we can write back once she responds"

"Thank you" Draco intertwined their fingers, and for a brief moment the world stood still "I have to go"

"I know"

"Good night, Harry" He gave him a small peck on the lips before getting up. Harry watched him as he went, feeling a strong urge to run after him. He didn't.

 

The day the letter arrived they were already inside the Owlery. It hadn't been on purpose, and they weren't expecting it to arrive at that exact moment, but sometimes life surprises everyone. They had gone up there to check on Hedwig, who was unable to fly long distances thanks to her mangled wing. Harry remembered how she had protected him that night, saving him but falling down as if dead. He had been extremely happy to find her alive. She had been with him since the beginning, that small white thing. He loved her.

Harry touched her white feathers, letting her eat some treats from his open palm. He felt guilty thinking she was unable to fly anymore because of him. How would that feel? Being a creature able to fly high and suddenly unable to do so because your stupid owner got in the middle of a fight he couldn't win.

"Good girl"

Draco had insisted on going up there with him, and he had been staring at his owl for a while without saying a word.

"She saved you, did she not?"

"Yeah, got her wing all... Messed up because of it and... Ah! Hedwig" He jumped, looking at his fingers. She had a temper but she hadn't bit him in a while.

"She's telling you to stop pitying her. Aren't you, girl?" Draco stared at her and the owl puffed her feathers as a response "I like her"

"Of course you do" Harry grimaced, his fingers a bit sore still. "She's basically a slytherin, proud and stubborn like you"

Draco laughed at that, leaning against the stone pillars, his eyes towards the sky. The snow had melted completely and spring was just a few days away. The air was warmer, the birds seemed to sing louder, the trees had started to shine green again. Harry loved this time of the year.

"Draco, are we going to talk about...?"

The boy tensed and his grey eyes focused on him, it was hard to have this conversation but some things couldn't be avoided. Truth was they hadn't gone up there just to check on his owl and spend some time together. Something had been going on lately and they hadn't had an opportunity to talk about it. The last words they had shared had been a bit harsh and Harry could see they were both quite sorry.

"Do we have to?"

They were trying to be more careful because people had started to notice how their eyes would linger just a _little too long_ on each other or how Harry's hand would touch his wrist just a _little_ _bit_ _different_.

No one had said anything to their faces but they both had heard their names followed by one particular slur. Harry would also hear said slur followed by _"No, it can't be. Harry Potter? Are you sure?"_ in passing. It almost felt as if his private life was out there in the open for people to speculate again. He hated it. Of course it was all gossip, and until that day they had handled it without any problems. Even Draco had seemed relaxed about it, telling him that people would always gossip and it would die down.

"Yeah, we do"

Harry placed a hand on his arm, trying to help him relax but the slytherin's body was incredibly tense.

"People are just gossiping" After lunch, they had tried to find a place to be alone for a while, and sadly they overheard people talking about them. It had not been nice and Harry didn't want to remember or repeat it. He had noticed the change in Draco almost immediately, and once they were alone they fought. Harry didn't know if Draco blamed him, or if he was just angry at the world but they had exploded. He had said things he didn't mean ( _Oh and you think this is easy for me? They already thought I was a dark wizard once!_ ) and he hoped Draco hadn't meant some of the things he said _(This is all a mistake, I'm ruining my whole life... No, you don't understand. You don't even have a family!_ ).

It had hurt, and while they both wanted to run away from the other, something kept them from doing so. The room where they had been fighting felt tiny, the walls closing in on them... And then they agreed on meeting later that same day, when they were calmer.

"Draco..." He whispered, moving closer to him.

"They heard a rumor about us and they are _eager_ to let us know we're not allowed, that we're the ones in the wrong and not them"

Harry pressed his lips together, looking at his owl, her white feathers shinning thanks to a few sunbeams creeping through the gaps on the stone.

Draco stared at him, moving forward and pressing himself against Harry, almost pleading for a hug. He reached out and placed his arms around his slender shape. If he was being completely honest with himself, his heart had pounded incredibly hard and his whole body had turned at their words.

Harry kissed the top of his head "There's no easy way around this, huh?"

"No, people will find out eventually" There was a small sigh and Draco moved away from his embrace, walking in the small space inside the Owlery. "I just hope we get to decide _how_ they find out"

Perhaps he should have taken it more seriously, or worried more about it but he only smirked "What, like, kissing in front of everyone after we declare our love?" Harry didn't realize what he had said until the words left his mouth, and he probably wouldn't have realized he said too much if Draco hadn't stopped pacing and stared at him, shocked.

_Love_. Shit. The _L_ word wasn't something they mentioned or talked or discussed or even implied. Fuck. Harry looked away, clearing his throat with a small cough and staring out towards the sky.

Before Draco could say anything, a black owl arrived. Of course he recognized it, Andromeda's.

He reached for the letter and the owl gave it without much of a fuss. It was an elegant little thing, it reminded him of her.

"I'm sorry for the things I said" Draco was closer to him, and suddenly he felt his hand on the small of his back "I didn't mean it. I know you know how it feels... I just... I'm not used to having people knowing what _I_ feel"

Harry looked up, accommodating his glasses and trying not to feel clumsy while doing it. "I'm sorry too, I know you are not some... Evil death eater... And I couldn't care less if they think I'm good or bad or something in between"

Draco smiled and pressed a kiss to his lips, his hand rubbing his back. "Are you going to open it?"

"Ah, yes. Uh..." Harry broke the small wax seal and started to read. Andromeda's handwriting was exquisite, it reminded him of Draco's. He had started to believe it was a pure blood thing, normal people didn't have such nice handwriting. "She... Figured some stuff out"

Draco pressed his chin to Harry's shoulder, reading with him "She found out enough. It's a transference spell"

"What does that even mean?"

"It's used to take something from one place and..."

" _Draco_ "

He heard the slytherin chuckle "If I had to guess? Someone wants to absorb magic from someone or something. Or perhaps remove a curse, placing it onto someone else"

Harry tried not to shudder at the thought "Andromeda says those symbols mean blood or bones or pieces from the... _sacrifices_ "

Draco pulled the chin from his shoulder and stopped touching his back, taking the letter in between his hands to read it more closely.

"So that's what he or she took from them"

"From them?"

"The attacks. I've been wondering... The cuts on their arms, right here" He pointed at the inside of his left wrist "At first we thought it was to implicate me or some... Death eater, but what if that was just the cover up? What if they wanted the blood? Think about it, did you see any blood when we found Elliot?"

Harry didn't remember. What he did remember was the war, the explosions, the smell of blood and death. Corpses. All over Hogwarts. He swallowed. "I can't remember"

"There wasn't any. Perhaps that's what they took. Blood from... Three attacks. Or more, we don't know for how long this has been planned."

"Does she say anything about the _where_ and _when_?"

"She says it has to be done within or close by a place of great magic... During-" He raised an eyebrow "during a waxing crescent. That's anticlimactic. I was hoping for blood moon or _at least_ a full moon"

Harry rolled his eyed, but smiled at him. That had sounded very much like the old Draco, which probably meant he was nervous or terrified. Or both.

"When's that?"

"Do I look like I know these sort of things? Ask Granger"

"You know you can call her by her first name, right?"

" _No_ "

Harry tried not to laugh "You know she does call you Draco"

"Potter"

"Aha"

Truth was, Draco and Hermione had found some sort of peace. They were extremely good at research and finding old books and once he had seen Draco laugh at one of her jokes. It would take time but they were on the right path.

Harry turned to leave, but felt something tug at his arm.

"Wait..." Draco was staring down at the paper in his hands "we have the upper hand right now, you and me"

"Yeah? We need to tell the others" Harry frowned, not quite sure as to what his boyfriend -Merlin, his _boyfriend-_ was saying.

"No, we don't. We can keep this between you and me and use it to our advantage. If no one else knows any of it, we could... figure out who is behind this. If we start leaking the information, then... we just won't know"

Harry shook his head "No, Draco. That's not how we work. We tell each other things, alright? And my friends are _not_ involved in the attacks"

"I'm not saying they are" He sounded more frustrated now, but the grip on his arm was strong "I'm just saying that I trust you to keep a secret, not precisely them"

"Secrecy and... this is not _my_ way. I'm sorry, Draco" He pulled his arm free, starting down the stairs without waiting for him. It's not that he was angry at him -he wasn't- but concerned that perhaps Draco wasn't as trusting of his friends as he had suspected he was. Things had been going smoothly between the four of them (six, when Noah and Elliot joined them) so this was unexpected.

Still, with every step he took he realized Draco might have a point. If no one knew the information, if they were the only two people to know... No. No, that was the slytherin way. Maybe even the Death Eater way. He wasn't like that. He would trust the friends that saved his life more than once. He would.

**

Harry could sense how uncomfortable Draco was, as their eyes met while waiting for their friends. They hadn't agreed on this but Harry felt that what he was doing was right. His friends had a right to know, considering everything they had gone through.

“It was difficult to find this place” Harry tried to make conversation, catching how Draco's face softened.

“I bet” Draco moved towards him, not quite knowing what to do. His hand almost touched his arm, but he dropped it. “If you think this is a good call then... I trust you”

“I know you do” Harry closed the distance between them, holding his hand and wanting so desperately to kiss him “And I wasn't trying to be difficult before”

He saw a smile on Draco's lips, even if the boy was trying _not_ to smile. “What? What's so funny?”

“Nothing” Draco tilted his head very lightly and gave him a soft kiss “Alright, why are they so late? Did you do the spell correctly?”

Harry had managed to enchant a piece of parchment -two, actually- to show the location of the room he had found. There had been a lot of repairs done to the school after the war, and some of the advantages of that were the empty rooms that weren't exactly finished. Or empty storage rooms that the wizards and witches had used to keep certain equipment. Apparently not everything could be done with magic.

This one in particular wasn't as dirty as the other ones, or filled with debris. The floor was clean and the whole thing was empty, probably a future classroom waiting to be used.

“Of course I-” The door swung open and two familiar faces came running in. Ron looked even more disheveled than usual, and Hermione was carrying a pile of books – a normal amount, by her standards.

Draco let go of his hand, putting some distance between them as they both stared at the Gryffindors.

“You are late”

“We were studying” Hermione frowned “Something you two should be doing”

“ _I_ was” Draco crossed his arms, frowning back at her.

Before Ron could chime in to defend his girlfriend, the last two of the unlikely group appeared. They were carrying no books, but they had dark bags under their eyes. Exam season was approaching and it clearly exhausted everyone.

Noah had made a full recovery in the weeks that followed the accident, but he was unable to remember anything else. Apparently the obliviate had partially worked, only causing him a strong headache if he tried to remember any details leading to his and Bea's attack. It wasn't helpful, but Harry was pleased the boy was alright and walking around again.

“Sorry we're late, we got a bit lost. The map wasn't exactly...” Noah said, frowning to the paper they were holding. Harry tried to ignore Draco snickering next to him.

“I had never done a charm like that, sorry” His father had created an incredible map, something unprecedented and he was unable to place a simple incantation on a piece of parchment to show his friends where to go. Fucking brilliant.

“We are all here now” Elliot shrugged “What happened?”

“Andromeda wrote back... We've got some details about this. Apparently it needs to happen near a great source of power”

“The school” Draco said, moving a hand in a gesture that said _obviously_.

“They need something from the victims, or well, sacrifices. You are not missing a tooth or anything like that, right?”

Elliot seemed appalled at the thought “I-... _No_ ”

“We think it's your blood anyways” Harry sighed “And it has to be done during a waxing crescent, whatever that means”

“It's the moon's phase when...” Hermione stopped and blushed “You weren't asking, sorry.”

Elliot frowned, counting in a low voice while his fingers moved next to his body “But... wait, whoever is doing this could have done it much sooner. That particular phase lasts around eight days”

There was a low sound of disappointment around the room, everyone frowning and trying to find a way to calculate the exact moment the act would happen. The only one that didn't seem to be as stressed as everyone else was Draco, and Harry wanted to know why, without drawing attention to them.

“There's another way” Draco said, making everyone quiet down “They took something from Elliot, we know that. We can track whatever thing they took from you”

Elliot didn't seem pleased “You are not putting any spells on me, I don't trust you”

“But you trust Harry, right?”

There was silence, both Slytherins held each other's gazes until Elliot finally nodded, defeated. Harry hadn't thought about the blood -or hair, or skin- the attacker had taken, but it could be useful.

“What if they protected it with an anti tracking spell or something?”

“We'll have to improvise, but I don't think they have. I mean... attacking students inside the school? They are not trying to hide”

“Harry's right. We just have to put a small charm on Elliot, or in Elliot's blood” Elliot groaned “And we might find their stash and maybe the attacker as well”

Everyone nodded, silence falling over them once more. There were certain moments when the severity of a situation settled in with those involved. Harry had realized this during his life. He had faced countless horrors in his young years, things that most of the time didn't feel real, until the moment they did. That moment was shaking everyone in the room, and a wave of guilt washed over Harry. Was this something they should be doing? He could go to McGonagall -even though she had asked him not to get involved- or he could write to Kingsley even. But...

“We don't have to do it tonight” Elliot said, giving a sideways glace to Noah who nodded in some sort of encouraging maneuver. Harry had no idea what was going on “We could-”

The room's door opened again and everyone turned, finding the younger Weasley with a small smile on her face. Harry smiled back, trying not to feel the look Draco was most certainly giving him. He had invited Ginny, because he trusted her and wanted her to know he considered her valuable. Of course he didn't want her to get hurt and he wouldn't put her in any harm, but there was no harm in sharing information, right?

“Ginny? What are you doing here?” Ron wasn't going to like this.

“I invited her”

“My little sister? Harry, listen-”

“Shut up, Ron. I make my own choices” She walked to them, and stared at every single one “Alright, who's going to tell me what I missed?”

They quickly repeated everything, her face slowly changing into an expression of concern.

“Then we should get ready for a fight, right? We only need Elliot and then...”

“Not so fast” Elliot frowned, almost as annoyed as Ron was. Oh, Merlin, Harry would have to have a chat with him about this. He didn't want to endanger Ron's family, he really didn't. Had he made another mistake? “I was about to show you this” He smirked, pulling a fire whiskey bottle from his bag.

Harry arched his eyebrows and no one seemed to move.

“Ron and I have to go” Hermione said, grabbing at his arm and pulling him. She moved closer to his ear and said something. Ron's face went from relaxed to slightly scared and he moved away from them.

“Yeah, we have stuff to do”

“Cowards” Noah chuckled, shrugging.

For a brief moment Harry didn't know what to do or say. What was the plan? To get drunk? Elliot seemed a bit uncomfortable, holding the bottle in one hand with everyone staring at him.

“We thought it would be nice to... just relax?” Noah said while sitting down on the floor and taking disposable cups out of his bag.

“Fine by me” Draco seized the bottle and slumped down on the floor, smiling "How did you even get the fire whiskey?" He poured some into a cup Noah had just given him and then gave the bottle back to Elliot.

"Oh, I have my ways"

"What he means is we bribed a house elf" Noah smirked, leaning back and watching them.

"Is that even possible?" Ginny laughed, sitting in between Elliot and Harry, leaving Noah and Draco in front of her. "Give me some"

"You shouldn't be drink-... Alright, don't kill me"

"Ron is not here, Harry. And it's not like you haven't done worse" She drank from her cup, while Elliot poured for the rest of them. It was strange being relaxed like this. Hells, if a teacher found them they would get in lots of trouble. Still, he was sure no one was going to find them... Hogwarts was a massive place.

"You _have_ done worse"

Draco seemed relaxed, holding his drink in one hand. Should he be worried? Was this what normal teenagers did? Was he a normal teenager?

"Shut up" Harry drank too, feeling the strong taste burn through his tongue and throat, leaving a warm sensation after. It was nice. Now that Voldemort was dead and no one was actively trying to kill him perhaps getting drunk would be fun. At least once. It wasn't going to happen that night though, definitely not.

"Let's play a game!" Ginny smiled, looking at them "Never have I ever? Truth or Dare?"

Draco arched an eyebrow.

"They are muggle games..." Harry tried to explain, but Draco stopped him with a hand gesture.

"I know those games. I'm just surprised. We are not exactly friends"

"Well I want to play" Noah said, elbowing Elliot who only nodded in agreement.

"Harry?"

"Yeah, I'll play..." He looked towards Draco, looking for support and found the slytherin with a small smile on his face.

"Me too. Who starts?"

Ginny shrugged "Elliot? Do you want to start?"

The boy seemed surprised to be chosen but nodded, taking a sip before looking around. Harry held his breath, half hoping he wouldn't pick-

"Malfoy" Damn it. "Truth or Dare?"

The silence that followed was tense, and even Ginny moved the cup to her lips, taking two long sips.

"Truth"

Elliot leaned slightly back, staring him up and down.

"Fine, which one of us would you like to snog? Harry _doesn't_ count"

Ginny chuckled and looked extremely amused, moving her glass on the floor from one point to another without spilling a single drop.

"Easy: Noah"

Elliot became tense and the hufflepuff widened his eyes completely taken by surprise.

"What?"

"He is handsome" Draco shrugged, but starting to feel uncomfortable from all the eyes on him "And I would _never_ kiss a Weasley"

Ginny scoffed at that and muttered something that sounded like _I don't want to kiss you anyways._

"Uhm, thanks. I prefer women, but, uh-" Noah blinked, not really knowing what to say. Next to him, Elliot seemed deflated at his words. So this had really backfired on him. Harry felt sorry for him, he really did but he also felt a pang of jealousy and he didn't quite know how to deal with that.

"Draco, it's your turn"

"Ah, yes. Weasley" He focused on Ginny and Harry had to drink again. This game was going to get them all in the Infirmary.

"Dare, Malfoy"

"I dare you to change your hair color for the remainder of the game. Red _hurts_ my eyes"

Ginny threw daggers at him before pulling out her wand "As you wish" she flickered it over her head and her red hair turned... Blonde. And not just blonde, but white-ish blonde. Oh. Merlin. Draco seemed as if he was about to murder her, and Harry wanted to bury himself underneath the floor boards.

Elliot was, of course, laughing. "Nice, Gin"

"Thank you, I try" She smiled wide and looked at Harry.

"Uhm, you look pretty..." He felt Draco kicking his foot and laughed "What? She does!"

"Alright, my turn before Harry decides to fall in love with me" Harry decided to give Draco a look to reassure him, and the slytherin seemed to relax at that, almost as if saying _'i know it's just a game'_   "Noah?"

"Oh, truth" He had already finished his drink and Elliot was pouring another one for him.

Ginny smiled "Hmm, I don't really know you so... What are you going to do once you get out of here?"

Noah smiled "I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I have always wanted to write. Uhm, professionally"

"How come he gets the easy question?" Draco frowned, getting more fire whiskey.

"Well, I didn't know what else to ask. But I'll be sure to think something _very_ difficult for you"

Noah rolled his eyes and focused his attention on Harry, the only one that hadn't been asked - or dared- yet. "Harry"

"Yeah?"

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare" It came so quickly it almost scared him. Hm. Sirius would have been proud... The thought made him drink again.

"I dare you to fill your cup and drink it in one go"

"I-..." Harry chuckled but nodded "Alright" He stared as Elliot poured firewhiskey in his cup and then he took it. He breathed in, once, then twice and started drinking it all. It burned and it was a lot of alcohol all at once but it was also... Exhilarating? Fun? Merlin, he was having fun.

"You are so going to have a headache tomorrow" Ginny said, taking the cup off his hand and placing it away from him. He almost wanted to protest but he could feel the alcohol inside his body already.

"So..." Noah said, his eyes moving from Harry to Draco. He seemed to doubt but only shifted in his place for a moment. "Are we still pretending we don't know you two are together?"

"Oh, boy" Ginny whispered, changing her hair color back to red and moving away from the circle in which they were all seating.

Harry felt his mouth dry and his heart pounding in his ears. It was one thing to hypothetically come out to people inside his head and another to... Actually do it. He didn't dare look at Draco. What if by looking at him they gave it away? Would it be so wrong for other people to know? This was one of the things they should've discussed more, but they hadn't.

"Did I say something wrong?" Noah raised his eyebrows and Harry couldn't be mad at him, it was obvious that the boy spoke with kindness in his heart.

"Potter and I-..."

"Drop the act, Malfoy" Elliot chimed in, only making it worse. Even though Harry hadn't been angry at Noah, now he felt like getting up and punching Elliot in the face. How dare he speak like that to Draco? He had no clue how hard this was for him... For them!

There was some movement and Harry turned his head, watching as Draco got up and walked directly to the door. He was leaving, and he was upset and if he didn't go after him he would never forgive himself but if he did it would be obvious. Harry got up as quickly as his legs allowed, running after him without thinking about the others.

Thankfully, he managed to grab Draco's arm right outside the door. The hallway was empty, and a bit dark now - only the magical torches on the wall lighting up the space.

"Draco-..."

"I just need a moment"

"You are not leaving?"

He saw the blond shake his head, shoulders slumped "No, I'm not running away"

"Hey... It's... Only them. They won't tell if we ask them not to"

"I know that"

Harry saw his mistrust, even if he said the opposite. Slowly, he moved his hand down from his arm towards his hand, smiling when his palm touched Draco's warm skin.

"Let's go back inside?"

Draco nodded, squeezing his hand but not letting go as Harry opened the door and pulled both of them back inside. The room went quiet the moment they entered, Ginny turning just enough to stare at them. Harry was pretty sure she had been lecturing the other two because Elliot looked guilty and angry at the same time.

Draco let go of his hand, walking past him and sitting back where he had been, shoulders straight.

"I didn't want to..." Noah started, more relaxed than he expected him to be. "I'm sorry if I made you say something you weren't ready to explain"

Anything could've happened and Harry almost expected Draco to snap at him and scream or just say something venomous. There was silence instead.

"It's okay, Noah" Draco finally said, arms crossed over his chest.

Harry couldn't just leave him there alone, so he walked back to the empty space next to Draco and sat down.

"Yeah, I didn't mean to be... Ugh. I'm sorry" Elliot wasn't looking at Draco when he said it, but at Harry.

"I'm fine" He had no idea how he had found his words. It was strange, feeling concerned about Draco's reaction and feelings and almost forgetting his own.

"You know we don't mind, right?" Noah was arching an eyebrow at them. "And if... If you have any questions about coming out and stuff, I think I might be of help"

Draco frowned, but only nodded "That's very kind of you"

Ginny was eerily  quiet and Harry found out that her opinion was the one he cared the most of the three. She was a good friend, Ron's little sister and... Almost a sister to him. Well, maybe not a sister but she was family. Whatever that meant.

Harry gathered all of his Gryffindor strength and looked at her, trying to read her face. Nothing. Was she angry? Hurt?

"Gin, I didn't..."

"Hm? Harry I'm okay with this. I... Well, I knew something was going on with you and" She paused, frowning for a moment "it makes sense"

"It does?"

"Yes" She smiled, sweetly and leaned towards him to place a kiss on his cheek. "It really does"

The beating of his heart started to slow down, at the cost of becoming louder in his ears. He hadn't realized how tense he had been. Would coming out feel like this every time? And, oh, the thought of the papers finding out and creating stories about them and...

He looked down, where Draco's hand was holding his fist. Harry closed his eyes and relaxed his hand, breathing slowly and telling himself nothing was wrong and if he allowed the panic to escalate he would end up a mess again.

Draco kept his hand touching his'.

"We should talk about something else" Noah said, guiltily.

"I-... Noah, can I talk to you?"

Harry couldn't believe it. Draco asking for help was weird but asking someone to talk about his feelings was...

"Yeah, sure"

They got up and left the room, leaving the rest of them extremely confused.

"I almost feel like I should make a big announcement or something" Ginny mumbled, staring at the door.

*

The outside hallway was empty, which allowed Draco to relax a bit. What had just happened had been extremely uncomfortable and new to him, and he didn't quite know how to handle it. Truth was he wasn't sure what to do, or how he would handle this with absolutely every person he knew. For a split second he had thought to reject Noah's offering, but he hadn't had anyone to talk about this before. Maybe this was a way to get some answers.

“Sorry again” Noah said, being a clear example as to why he had the Hufflepuff tie “I know it's hard”

“Yeah, it is” Draco found his own voice pathetic, weak.

“Does anyone else know?”

“No, I mean... Harry's friends kind of know. Granger and Weasley. But we didn't tell them”

Noah nodded, thoughtful. “Coming out is never easy, but it wasn't so bad, right? I mean... I'm totally fine with it, Elliot doesn't care and Ginny seemed cool”

Draco tried to feel better but he couldn't, there was an invisible hand around his heart and it squeezed a bit more every second. “I guess... Was it good for you? Uh, coming... coming out, I mean”

Noah chuckled “I was terrified... and it wasn't great. But most people treat me like a new student now, so I guess things got better?” He chuckled “Look... I was miserable before, and yeah, it's not great. People will say things, and do things... but it dies down” There was a small pause “You are a bit of a public figure and so is Harry, so I can't really... tell you what will happen. It could be good, it could be bad... but you'll move on”

Those weren't the words he wanted, if he was honest the thing he wanted to hear was: _everything is going to be okay, your parents will love you and people won't care_. Draco was thankful that Noah was being honest.

“I can't tell you when or how to do this, but I'll support you”

“Thank you, that's very kind” Draco felt in auto pilot, but he didn't want to be. He wanted to truly thank him, to be nice for a change, to say something deep and meaningful or personal but he was unable to. It was almost as if his brain was doing everything it could to drown out his feelings. Sometimes Draco wondered what would happen if he stopped putting everything in locked boxes, would it be too much?

“What about your family? Are you scared about them?” Noah pressed his back to the stone wall, still staring at him.

“They don't know... It's... complicated”

“It always is. My parents weren't happy at all. At first they had no idea what I was telling them. They went through all the stages...”

“Are you going to tell me that it's better now?”

“I know it sounds like a lie, but it's not. And I know you... might want things to be more than 'just fine' but you'll have to give them time”

Draco nodded, closing his eyes to calm himself. Why was he the one that had to give his parents time to accept this? Or to be the understanding one? Couldn't his parents do the same for him?

Who was he kidding? He knew his parents, he had a clear idea of what would happen when they found out. Panic started to creep out of the depths of his mind and he used all of his will to push it down.

“You can't tell anyone...”

“I won't and neither will Elliot, trust me. He might be some cis straight guy but he gets it”

Draco frowned “What?”

“Hm?”

It wasn't his place to say that Elliot was clearly not straight (he knew that _for a fact_ ) but he really wanted to. As far as he knew, Elliot had feelings for Noah but was too much of a coward to act on it, and apparently Noah was oblivious to all of this.

“Nothing. Maybe you should...” Draco closed his mouth, he... he couldn't just out someone else. “Elliot is a nice guy”

“Yeah” Noah smiled “We've been friends for ages”

“I see” Draco sighed, hoping the best for them but realizing he could do nothing to help “I'm going to go to bed. Tell Harry...” He shook his head “Don't worry, he'll understand”

“I really didn't want to kill the mood, Draco. I'm sorry”

Draco chuckled “Spoken like a true hufflepuff. Listen, I'm fine. I'm just tired and... I want to go to bed. You did nothing wrong...”

Noah seemed satisfied with that, and gave him a timid smile before sliding inside the room again, leaving him alone on the corridor.

*

The drawing was almost complete, and an exact copy to the original no less. He allowed a moment to feel pride of his plan and the way it was all coming together. He had finally repurposed the Room of Requirement to do what he wanted. It had been easy, considering the state it was in. After his magic was done, the room would probably be drained of all his remaining power.

Not that he cared, it would all be for a better cause: himself.

He washed his hands with a simple spell, admiring his work. The lines were straight were they had to be and curvy in the right places. The runes were his favorite part and he had taken special care with those. He knew how difficult this magic could be, how it could go south if he didn't follow the instructions.

Last time he had tried this he had failed. Of course, he tried not to think much about that, it would do him no good. His work to cover it all up had been incredible, of course.

Almost everything was set up.

Of course Bell had been aware of certain children trying to get in the way, but they were extremely inexperienced and weak. They cared about others. He knew exactly how to exploit that sort of weakness. And he would, if he had to.

He had been planning this for a while so he made sure to thread with caution, placing protections where they needed to be. The moment one of them went off, he knew someone was close to finding his _things_. Bell left the Room of Requirement hurrying towards the wing where the aurors had been given accommodations. Of course he had hidden things in 'plain sight' and _not_ in his own chambers.

When he reached his corridor he tried not to look in a hurry, or worried. But he was.

His heart sank when he found the door to their own little 'common room' open. The inside wasn't thrashed, but he knew something was amiss. Thankfully there was no one there, the other aurors working around in shifts.

Bell sighed and kneeled behind one couch, pulling at one of the loose floorboards where he had stashed some of the most delicate elements he needed.

They weren't there.

If he were anyone else, he might have screamed or punched a wall or done something irrational. Instead, he got up and looked at his wand. He was an auror, he had special training and no one was going to take what was his without him knowing.

No one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked this one! It took me a lot of time to finish it, I kept changing parts and adding others. It's a long one!  
> Leave a comment if you can they are very much appreciated ;)


	20. Confrontation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: (Very) Mild descriptions of violence, mild implications of abuse.

“Did you do it?”

Draco nodded, standing in front of his friends. Their morning had been chaotic, to say the least. They had all met just a little bit before sunrise, knowing everyone would be asleep inside the castle. The plan was simple enough: they would place a tracking spell on Elliot and see what they found. If the attacker had kept anything of him, they would find it. It was easy enough, but no one expected to actually _find_ something.

Elliot had blanched at the sight of the vials filled with blood, knowing one of them had his own. Draco didn't care, he quickly took every single one of them and put them inside his bag.

They knew what it meant to find something like that inside the room given to the aurors, but there was no magical trace. Hermione checked, and even though Draco wouldn't admit it, he trusted her abilities. If she said they couldn't identify who had done the attacks with the vials, he trusted her.

Of course, lingering inside that room with the vials wasn't an option, and so they had decided Draco would hide them someplace safe. Elliot had voiced how much he disliked leaving that task to him. In his eyes he was untrustworthy and would probably betray them. Draco couldn't blame him, really.

“Yes, it's done” Draco tried to ignore their staring. Only Harry seemed relaxed.

“Good. So, is everyone-...?”

“Yes, Hermione and Ron will keep an eye on Beatrice. Noah and Ginny will look after Elliot. And you two will try to find the place where this is going to happen”

“Are you sure the blood is well hidden?”

“Yes”  Draco didn't need to look at Elliot to answer, instead he focused on the others. “Whoever is doing this is going to be... quite angry and  will come for us”

Hermione sighed, giving an uneasy stare towards Ginny. Did everyone see her as a child? Draco didn't quite mind having the Weasley girl helping them. Well, he felt _quite_ jealous half the time, but other than that it was fine. She was a quick thinker and quite skilled with a broom, it could come in handy.

“I know we should be ready but... we are not making any progress, are we? Whoever is doing this only has two more nights with the right moon phase or they'd have to wait one more month”

“They are going to be desperate”

There was an uncomfortable silence between them, Draco wanted to say something smart or soothing but he had nothing. Their plan had flaws all over, and he wasn't quite sure if they even _had_ a plan. It always seemed like they were ten steps behind whoever was doing this. Of course, if they wanted to recover the blood they would have to get a hold of Beatrice or Elliot. So they were bait.

Draco didn't know if Elliot had realized that already, but if he had he said nothing. Beatrice, on the other hand, had no idea what  was going on, which made Draco feel slightly guilty of putting someone innocent in danger.

There was a possibility that she had actually tried to kill herself, which wouldn't make her a target at all, but they couldn't take any chances. Sometimes, Draco wondered why they didn't go to McGonagall. He knew Harry was used to doing things on his own, but that was before, when Voldemort was around. This was different.

Voicing this type of concerns wouldn't help. Harry was stubborn like all Gryffindors and even if he wasn't, Draco wasn't sure talking to the headmistress would help either. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to get away from all of it.

“Everything's fine” He said “We have class with Ravenclaw now, I'll keep an eye on Elliot”

The others nodded, nobody wanting to draw attention to their little gathering. As they all started to disperse, Harry gave him a look. They hadn't been able to talk about what had happened the night before, but he didn't want to.

What would he say? There was nothing to say. Nothing bad, at least. He still felt as if someone had grabbed his chest and squeezed incredibly hard, but it was getting better. And their “friends” hadn't said a word to anyone either. Actually they hadn't said anything to them either. Maybe that's how it would be, people knowing they were together but avoiding the subject all together. Draco tried not to think much about it, or it would give him another head ache. He had already spent the previous night tossing and turning in his bed, trying to shake off the feeling of shame.

"See you later" Draco managed, turning away from Harry and hurrying down the corridor with Elliot. He knew his focus should be on his classes but he knew he wasn't being as good as he could be. There was a part of himself that told him not to care. Once upon a time he had tried to be the best, tried to impress his Father, to impress his classmates. It hadn't work then, why would it work now?

"Malfoy" Elliot spoke when they reached the Runes classroom, making him stop by touching his arm. Strange, Draco was pretty sure that was the first time Elliot had touched him willingly.

"Yes?"

"Look, I-... I owe you an apology"

That was strange. Draco crossed his arms, it's not that he wanted to be difficult, but it was hard to be open to that sort of conversation.

"You do?"

"Yeah. For last night and for... the past weeks. I... you are _okay_ and I've been horrible to you"

"Noah put you up to this, didn't he?"

Elliot groaned "Just take the apology, yeah?"

"I knew it"

"Shut up"

Draco chuckled and uncrossed his arms "Fine, apology accepted. You are free." He stepped inside the classroom, every time he had class with Ravenclaw he realized how he had never made any Ravenclaw friends. Luna had been nice but... weird. Not that there was anything wrong with being a little weird.

Elliot had Ravenclaw friends, of course, so Draco walked to the back of the room to find a place to sit on his own. It was better this way, if no one was bothering him he could keep an eye on Elliot. Beatrice was a year younger than all of them and he wasn't even sure she took Runes.

Draco liked most of his classes -he actually liked school- but sometimes he wondered if he'd have chosen different subjects given the... freedom to do so. Maybe if he had been more passionate about his electives he would have been top of the class. Maybe.

He tried not to let his mind wander too much during the class, forcing himself to pay attention to their teacher and to take as many notes as possible. After the war, being focused was extremely hard. Which, in turn, was frustrating. He wanted to be well enough again, he wanted to be able to study without his mind wandering into sad thoughts, he wanted to be able to sleep a full night without waking up covered in sweat, with the pounding of his heart on his ears.

The worst part of it was he missed his friends. Terribly so. Not only that but he didn't know if he would still have any friends once things calmed down. Pansy had proved to be... incredibly loyal to him, but she had put some distance. For her own well being, and he couldn't blame her. Blaise hadn't contacted him at all.

And to make it all worse, the press would have a field day with the news of him and Potter.

Draco folded the pieces of parchment he had been using to write his notes and placed everything inside his bag. The worst part about zoning out was how fast time seemed to go by, how fast and yet how slow he was. He got up from his place, students leaving the classroom as fast as possible.

"Oh, Professor Babbling, can I have a moment with one of your students?" Auror Bell asked, he had apparently entered the room while the students tried to leave. Draco hadn't seen him arrive at all.

The professor frowned at him and said something like the class had already ended, but that he could do whatever he wanted. Draco assumed he was going to be summoned for a chat, which made him... not as mad as he thought he would be. Bell had been the only Auror to be nice to him. And he had saved him in the weirdest of occasions.

Draco reached for one of his books when realization hit him. It wasn't as clear as he wanted to and it didn't make him feel as good as he hoped. Across the room, Bell was talking to Elliot and guiding him outside of the classroom.

It wasn't hard to put two and two together, not really. But it made him feel like an idiot, again. Would there ever be a world in which he didn't trust the wrong people?

Draco knew he could still be _wrong_ about this. There could be perfect explanations as to why he appeared when that beast attacked both him and Elliot in Myrtle's bathroom, or why Myrtle freaked out when he entered the room. Merlin, he should've seen it sooner.

There weren't many things he could do. If he left to go look for back up, Elliot would be hurt again. But if he went after Elliot and Bell, no one else would know where they went. It wasn't an impossible choice, but it was a hard one.

Draco surprised himself with how quickly he chose.

"Sorry, Elliot but I need a word with Bell" He pulled at Elliot's arm, trying to seem relaxed.

The auror stared at him, and there was something in the friendly way he did so that scared Draco.

"What do you want? It's about my aunt, Malfoy" Elliot didn't know, how could he know?

"This is important" Draco tried to sound convincing, pleading with his eyes "Really, I-... Just a moment?"

The Auror seemed to struggle. Of course he did. Draco knew how it was to try and keep a double life, you have to play it perfectly so no one suspects. He had been terrible at his job, Potter always behind him. But he had met someone who had been perfect at it. And he could see that struggle in Bell. Only that the Auror was wicked at his core, there was no good in him. None at all. How could he had mistaken that for... kindness?

"Of course, Malfoy. Elliot, please make sure to find me when you have a moment, yes?"

"Really?" Elliot groaned, throwing daggers at him. How could he not see what was going on? How could he not _see?_

Draco rolled his eyes at him, but managed to squeeze his arm in passing. He hoped that would be enough to let him know something else was in the works, to make him go look for help.

**

Harry was about to have lunch when he found out. The whole morning had gone without any type of trouble. He had followed his friends, kept some tabs con Beatrice -who seemed to have an extremely boring life- and waited for the time to meet Draco to go explore the castle. They had decided to look for abandoned rooms, Draco suspected that if the attacker planned to do this sort of magic ritual, he would have a place set up for it.

Neither one of them wanted to touch the Room of Requirement again, but... it was in Harry's mind. That room had a history of people plotting inside of it. Of course, he would agree with Draco and go to every other room, trying to avoid that place.

Still, he didn't see Draco anywhere during the whole morning. It had been a bit strange not seeing him in one of the few classes they had together, but many things could have happened. He recalled a day when Draco had fallen asleep over his homework in the library and completely missed two classes.

But not seeing him having lunch at all was... more than strange. Yes, at the beginning of the year he had avoided crowded places, and Draco _had_ said he hated going to the Great Hall _but_ they had agreed to meet and he wouldn't just disappear like that.

So Harry had gone to see Elliot, who seemed incredibly pissed at the world. Their talk had been short, Harry asked where Draco was and Elliot said he had no idea, and something a bit rude about him. Which prompted Harry to lose some of his patience and ask where he had seen him last.

The answer wasn't the one he wanted. Harry wanted to hear something like: _he was in the common room a couple minutes ago, why?,_ or, _I saw him in the library, he said he wasn't hungry._ But what he got was: _he left with that auror, why?_

Harry should have been smarter then, he knew. He should have said something instead of bolting out of the Great Hall without saying a word to his friends. But his mind was racing, almost as fast as his heart. If Draco was in danger, he had been in danger the whole fucking morning and he had done nothing to prevent it.

Guilt squeezed the air out of his lungs and he had to press himself against one of the hallway's walls, trying to recover his breath and not have a complete meltdown. He owed Draco to be... to save him. Right?

Gryffindor Tower had never felt so far away, the door had never opened oh so slowly and Harry had never gone up the stairs to his bedroom so fast. He opened the Marauder's map and scanned every room trying to find him, but he wasn't there.

If someone had taken Draco outside of Hogwarts he had no idea where to go next. But whoever was doing this _wanted it_ to happen _inside_ the castle. So if he was inside the castle but he wasn't in the map...

Harry knew exactly where he had to go, but it didn't make it any easier.

Harry was about to have lunch when he found out, but when he reached the seventh floor, his stomach was turning from nervousness instead of hunger. He didn't know if he would find a corpse when he opened the door, or if he was walking into a  trap. He didn't know, but he had to help him. He had to do _something._

The door opened with a small cracking sound, and Harry stepped in, finding a burnt down room. There was nothing inside of it, not the bookcases they had seen, not a monster, nothing. Everything was burnt, the walls, and floor were dark and in the middle of it there was a drawing. Harry couldn't quite see it properly, but he was sure it was made with chalk and magic, the same one they had been searching in all of their books.

The wood made a sound with each of his steps, wand at the ready.

_Lumos_

"Draco? Are you here?" He whispered, fear creeping through his body. What if he wasn't there? If he was unable to find him? What if he was already...?

"He's here"

Harry turned, his wand barely illuminating a couple of meters ahead of himself. He could see two shapes, and his heart almost stopped. Feeling powerless wasn't something he enjoyed, and seeing someone he loved in a situation like this was... one of his worst nightmares.

"Let him go" It wasn't a question and he wasn't pleading, it was an order. Harry knew he had to push through the feeling of powerlessness, or they were both doomed.

"And why would I do that? You see, Harry" The young man grinned and his face transformed horribly, he was no longer the helpful auror, he was a monster. His wand pressed against Draco's neck "The Dark Lord knew the use of marking cowards" Draco didn't flinch, his eyes fixed on Harry "but he also knew the value of loyal unmarked followers. He knew the reach _He_ could have. He trusted _me_ "

Harry gave a step forward, but he could see it in his eyes: he didn't care about Draco. He was willing to hurt whoever he had to hurt. That was the slight difference between Voldemort and his followers. Back in the day, Harry knew Voldemort would kill whoever stood in his path but his objective had _always_ been Harry. Voldemort's followers? They would torture and kill whoever was different, or whoever bothered them. Bellatrix Lestrange had tortured and killed for pleasure. Harry doubted men like Voldemort felt pleasure.

So Harry lowered his wand, and at that Draco reacted. "Don't-"  He tried, but Bell pulled tightly at his blond hair making him shut up.

"What do you want? Just let him go"

Bell laughed, with cruelty and didn't let him go. He was surely using some sort of spell, Harry realized the way Draco was sitting wasn't normal. He was incredibly still on a simple wooden chair.

"Why do this?" Harry hoped he didn't sound as desperate as he felt. Would this be the first time someone he cared about was in danger? No. But Harry hoped this time would end differently than before, with no death. "That's the one thing I don't understand"

"The one thing? Oh Harry, you aren't all that smart are you? And what are you going to do without your dear friend? I'm sure she was the smart one" He stared at Draco and ran a hand through his hair, the touch made Harry's blood boil "Or maybe this one could help you. You know? I would enjoy breaking his mind"

Draco tried not to look scared, and Harry loved him for that but he could see the way his eyes locked on him. He was terrified. And with good reason.

"You will do no such thing. You will give him to me, we can settle this. You and I”

He laughed "Everything's about you, hm? How fun... _Dear_ , please come join us"

Before Harry could react, something pressed on the back of his neck: a wand. He swallowed, trying to cling onto hope as much as he could. Draco was glaring at whoever stood behind him, but Harry couldn't turn around, so he couldn't see.

"I'm sorry it took me this long, my love"  He knew that voice.

Beatrice.

"What do you want?" Harry pleaded again, but the girl had taken his wand from his own hand and was pushing him towards Draco. Was this the small window of opportunity they both needed?

"If you haven't figured it out by now then perhaps we shouldn't tell you. Let you die with the curiosity"  Bell snickered and with a flick of his wand forced Harry to sit on another chair, his arms and legs pressed tightly to it as if iron chains were holding him.

Draco seemed about to throw up "Let him go" He begged, his voice strained as if someone were choking him "Just let him go, I'll do it. I'll do whatever you want"

Beatrice looked happy, and it was so strange to see it, so out of place. They were torturing two people and they were happy. Not only that, but she was a _minor_. He was an adult. Harry was going to be sick.

Bell turned away from them, opening a small bag and placing its contents over a simple wooden table. Harry didn't need to be a genius to know those were probably torture tools. It was strange, seeing something like that from a wizard, they usually stuck to the Cruciatus curse.

"How about we try a little serum? Hm?" He chuckled, shaking a small vial filled with a transparent liquid. They both knew what it was, but Harry didn't understand why he needed it. He didn't understand the need for any of it.

"Let us go" Harry moved his hand, feeling the magical restraints keeping him in place. He couldn't see them, but it felt as if heavy iron chains were hugging all of his limbs. He suspected Draco felt the same way.

Bell placed a hand on Draco's shoulder "How about you take some, hm? Be a good boy for me"

Draco's lips turned pale from pressing them together, his eyes stuck on Harry's. "If you don't do it, I'll slice your boyfriend's throat. I don't have to, but I will"

"He is bluffing. Draco, don't-"

But Draco's face showed defeat, written all over it. "Give me that" He opened his mouth and accepted the liquid. Harry could see his expression after he swallowed, tense and hurting as if he had drank pure fire.

"Good boy" He ran a hand through his blond hair and Harry thrashed against his restraints without realizing it. Of course, it only amused the auror. "You know what I'm going to ask you, don't you?"

"Yes" Draco seemed pained, as if he had tried not to speak. Merlin, let this be over soon. Please, for him.

"Where's the blood?"

They had been foolish. They shouldn't have done this alone. Harry looked around, trying to find a way to save both of them. Hells, he even wanted to help Bea. She was only a kid.

"Tell me!"

Harry looked back at Draco, seeing him struggling not to speak. "Tell him"

There was a groan and when Draco finally spoke, his lip was bloody "It's inside the potions' classroom. Hidden behind... the other vials"

"Of course... hidden in plain sight, inside the one classroom with an aloof professor. Smart of you" He paused for a brief moment, looking past them “Go get it. Now” Harry could hear Bea's steps getting further and further away from them. He almost wanted to ask her to stay, but he didn't.

"You are not getting away with this. You can't kill us _and_ do your ritual  _and_ get away with it"

Bell laughed at his words, something in his demeanor reminded him more of Bellatrix than Voldemort. He was enjoying this: the torture, inflicting pain on others and watching them squirm.

"Oh, that's where you are wrong. I'll do it all and I'll have fun doing so" He pulled a chair, the loud and abrupt noise startling Draco who, Harry suspected, would be shivering or incredibly tense if he weren't restricted by magic. The auror turned the chair around and sat, crossing his arms over the back of the chair, staring at both of them like an innocent child. Harry tried not to feel scared, he had gone through worse, right?

"Isn't this lovely? Come on, don't look so tense! We can all help each other"

"Just let us go or kill us already"

"I can't do that, Potter. You see, I still need you two. How come the Dark lord couldn't kill you? It seems pretty easy"

"Don't you fucking touch him" Draco stared at him, and even though he was sitting just as he was, he seemed ready to jump at him.

Bell only laughed "So loyal. Would you really trade your safety for his? Ha!"

"Yes, I would" Draco didn't look at him when he said it, pain written on his face.

"Merlin, it wasn't a real question. Ah, well, I guess it's the serum. Fantastic little thing, isn't it? Honesty is so important. Especially in a relationship. Bea tells me everything. She's such a good girl"

"You are sick... You are disgusting" Harry felt a heat on his cheek and then a sharp pain when Bell slapped him. It wasn't the most painful thing he had endured but it shut him up... What if he decided to hurt Draco instead? He couldn't have that.

"Now... Where were we? Ah, yes. Honesty" His tone was cheerful "Tell us, Draco, how do you feel about him?"

Draco whimpered, a drop of blood smearing his chin. Harry almost couldn't bear to watch him suffering like this. It wasn't fair, being forced to be honest... Bell didn't care what they felt, of course, he just wanted to play with them while Bea got his things back.

"Stop it. He doesn't need to answer your stupid questions"

"Scared he might be using you?"

"You don't know shit"

Draco stopped digging his teeth on his lip and stared at the auror as if he was about to kill him "I- I love him. You have a problem with that?"

His tone was firm but also... Irreverent. Thank Merlin he was being strong. Harry tried to ignore the beating of his heart or the fact that they were about to confess something so intimate in a terrible situation. He wasn't going to allow Bell to steal that from them. They would have their declaration of love or... Whatever they wanted to declare, it wouldn't be on his terms.

"Why do you care about our love life? It's not that interesting you know?"

"Harry, Harry, Harry, this is about honesty... Don't worry, the good questions start now" His eyes glimmered in the dim lit room "Draco, I know your family has a lot of interesting heirlooms and... Artifacts" His smile was wild and dangerous "Once I get all this power... Well, let's say they could be of use. Where do you keep them?"

And now Draco was truly in pain, sweating and staring around the room as if trying to find a way to fight it. Harry knew he was good at occlumency, they had talked about it but perhaps the pull of the serum was too much on his mind. Still, betraying his family was something Draco would never do. Not willingly.

Harry hated Bell for this. There was no way in which Draco wouldn't blame himself. If he spoke, he would hate himself for betraying his family's secrets, and if he didn't he would probably hate himself for whatever pain Bell inflicted on Harry.

"You are never getting his... Stuff"

The auror laughed at him "Young love, truly adorable" He got up, walking across the room and opening some strange books. "Don't worry, even if he manages to resist... I'll still get my way. I have done so this far, have I not?" He chuckled "Did you know I was stationed in Bea's house after the war? A lovely family, they really trusted me with their daughter"

Harry felt his stomach turn "She won't help you... We will help _her_ , you... Sick fuck"

"Harry, stop" Draco was almost pleading, his lip incredibly bloody and his expression exhausted.

"Are you okay?"

"Tired, Draco? Tsk, and here I thought we were having a good time" Bell ran a hand through Draco's hair again and Harry was, without a shadow of doubt, going to harm him.

"I'm fine" Draco said without flinching, his eyes set on Harry almost wanting to say something to him.

“Is this why you are doing it? For _power_?” Harry frowned, trying to buy both of them time. Time to figure out how to get out of this situation, time for their friends to find them, for someone to find them. The School had saved them before... And Harry hadn't survived all those years to die at the hands of a fucking second class Death Eater.

“Why else? Power is power. Oh, how sweet, you think this is the first time I've done this?” He laughed, shaking his head “I wouldn't attempt something so big without practicing first” He shrugged “I could have done this smoothly, but you had to intervene”

“Oh, we know all about your mission” Draco said, finally looking at the auror. “Discredit our headmistress with your little attacks, get some death eater sympathizer ruling the school... and then what? They would start losing the letters for the muggle borns or what?”

Bell shrugged “That's none of my business. I saw an opportunity to get what I wanted and I took it, dear. I only had to do a couple of things for them, you know how it is. You had to do some things back in the day, did you not?”

Draco looked away from him, but he didn't look sad, he looked furious. Almost as if he were trying to restrain himself from cursing the man.

“There's no point in arguing about this. I have everything I need right here”

“He'll use us as collateral” Draco whispered, but he was sure Bell could hear what they were saying to each other “taking so much magical power can kill anyone, so he'll use one of us as... some sort of...”

“Like a what, a coffee filter?” Harry frowned, his eyes moving to the floor where the immense chalk drawing was displayed.

“Something like that, yes. You would be regulating the... flow of magic from the room into his body” Draco frowned “It would be foolish to try and take the magic from the whole school” He said louder, hoping Bell heard him.

There were times when Harry felt like the magical world was his home and everything he had, and there were other times when he couldn't understand half the things that happened in said world. This was one of the latter. Taking magic from a place? Putting said magic inside someone's body?

Harry wanted to say he had no idea how something like that could make a wizard more powerful, but truth was he had had special abilities thanks to his past connection to Voldemort so... that was the one part he understood.

Maybe, deep down, he had hoped all of this were done in an attempt to take a curse off of someone. Maybe if that had been the case he would have been able to sympathize.

The door opened and they both stared as the young girl rushed to Bell's side, carrying vials in her hands. Harry wanted to scream, the vials were filled with dark red liquid.

“Excellent” He smirked, taking one of the vials and looking at it for a few seconds “I had hoped to have more fun with you two” He said, shrugging “But I guess I need to focus on what's important”

Bea had a small smile on her face, standing next to Harry's chair. He could see his own wand on one of her hands, and he really wanted to reach out.

“Do you need me to do something else, love? I can-”

"Silence, you" He said, without even looking at her.

Harry groaned, moving one of his fingers and trying to do so with his whole hand.

“Is that how you treat your...?” Draco said, trying to cause a small distraction and give Harry some more time. Harry wasn't sure if their restraining spells would wear off, but he wasn't leaving anything to chance.

“What, her? She's a fun little thing” Bell said while placing strange artifacts around the circle, before taking some of the blood and drawing in the center of the circle. A smile was always on his face, as if he was getting exactly what he wanted.

They stared, helpless as he finished some drawings and then walked back towards them.

“Harry, you will have the honor to assist me” He said, as if speaking to a crowd. There was a reason why he was picking him and not Malfoy, and it had nothing to do with their abilities. He wanted to hurt Draco, he wanted to break him.

Harry wouldn't squirm.

“I would love to but I am a bit trapped at the moment” He said, glaring back at him.

“Ah, silly me” Bell smirked and released him, his muscles moving almost all at the same time. He wanted to get up and punch him, but he was the one with the wand and Draco was still tied up.

“Do you wish to say goodbye? You might d-”

“He's not dying”

Draco's tone was calm, as if nothing wrong was happening. He kept his gaze in both of them. Harry wanted to believe he was okay, but his bloody lip and his tussled hair told a different story.

“We will see about that” Bell pushed him towards the circle, barely giving him any time to walk without stumbling. It was humiliating. Well, Harry had been humiliated many times before, so it didn't bother him as much as it could've.

He laid down on the center, feeling something wet and sticky against his shirt: the blood. He tried not to feel disgusting, but there was no point. A quick sweep of the room told him exactly where his wand was. He could make a run for it, but he would never reach it in time.

Not without harming Draco in the process, and he wasn't about to take that loss. Besides, wasn't this what he had wanted since the end of the war? To just die?

Sometimes. But he also knew his mind wasn't in the right place when he felt that. There had to be a way to get out of it, there... had to be.

He closed his eyes when Bell started to recite something in latin. Normal spells would be just one word or two, but this seemed a full ritual, like the ones in muggle books. But those were fiction and this was reality and he didn't want to die.

Harry moved his head to the side, finding Draco's shape away from both of them. Bell was too distracted to pay attention to them, and Draco seemed to know it because he was talking to Bea. He could see his tone was desperate and his gaze intense. She was giving him worried looks.

When Draco saw him stare, he winked. There was something odd about that, and Harry mouthed a simple: _What?._ Draco barely moved his head saying 'no'.

“What's going on?” Bell groaned, looking at the runes he had perfectly drawn and his red stained hands. “This isn't working...”

Ever since the moment they got there, Bell had seemed in complete control of the situation. Right then things seemed to change. Harry knew the moment he needed was approaching, so he readied his body to jump, to run towards his wand.

Draco laughed, still tied up in the chair. When the auror turned completely to the Slytherin, to scream at him and shake him, Harry hurried towards Bea.  

Her hand was warm but limp around his wand and he managed to retrieve it immediately.

"Hey!" She said, turning around and trying to fight him, but she wasn't quick enough. Not really.

_Expelliarmus!_ And he got her wand. One down, two to go.

Bell turned from Draco as if someone had slapped him. His whole face was twisted with rage and Harry realized he wouldn't doubt killing them. There were a lot of thoughts running through his mind, but they usually seemed to quiet down during a fight.

Harry didn't know what had happened or why it hadn't worked or why Draco had laughed but he didn't have time to ask questions or monologue like Bell had done, he had to act and he had to act fast.

He was about to use a binding spell, something non-lethal -even if he wanted to harm him- when the door opened violently behind him, and voices filled the room.

There was one thing Harry hadn't grown used to: being saved. In the end, he had had to save himself, he had always been on his own. When the door opened and a stream of aurors and teachers poured in, Harry felt someone take him by the shoulders and pull him away, protectively. He felt dizzy and weird.

Whoever took him away, placed a blanket on his shoulders and said something to him, but he couldn't quite hear them. He knew what had happened but...

“Draco... _Draco_!” He tried to go back inside, but they kept him outside, speaking to him in what Harry could only describe as buzzing sounds. He wasn't listening because his mind had gone back almost two years ago, his mind was inside the school, his mind was racing through hallways hearing people die, smelling burnt corpses, staring at the castle being destroyed from the outside and the inside.

“He's alright” He managed to hear that, but he only stopped fighting the two aurors that tried to keep him on the hallway when he saw Draco next to McGonagall. They seemed to be talking as if nothing had happened.

Harry couldn't understand how he was so composed. They had almost died. Again.

**

"Care to explain?" Harry blurted out, standing up and letting the blanket they had placed on his shoulders fall to the floor. He didn't mean to be dramatic, but he didn't understand what had happened and it felt as if everyone was lying and hiding stuff.

They had been ushered to the Headmistress' office, unable to see the end of the fight. Harry was still dizzy, trying not to feel as if his mind had gone through a blender.

"What?"

"Don't play dumb" He tried not to despair, but it was hard "What was all of that? One moment I'm there about to die-"

"For me" There was something in the way Draco said it that made Harry want to deny it, he didn't "Yes, I know"

"And then the ritual doesn't work... Which makes no sense, and then the teachers..."

Draco sighed as if he was staring at an unruly child and Harry wanted to scream.

"I faked it"

"What?"

"When he gave me the serum. I faked it"

Harry didn't know if he had hit his head or if Draco was speaking a different language but he wasn't being clear. Not at all "You... Faked...?"

"Potter, I am excellent at occlumency. Do you really think I wouldn't be able to resist the serum?"

But he hadn't been able to resist it, right? He had been there, he had seen the pained look on his face, the way he bit down on his lip drawing blood, the things he blurted out he would never say out loud. This didn't make any sense.

"No, you didn't resist, I was there..."

"I resisted when it was necessary. I told them where to find the vials but he wanted the blood. I destroyed the blood and replaced it with another liquid. _That_ I didn't say"

Harry felt the floor give from underneath him "You... Planned this?"

"No" There was sincerity in his tone "You told me to take the blood and hide it, but I didn't see why I shouldn't destroy it. So I did, not before making sure to leave some fakes behind"

"Oh, and what? The opportunity just _presented_ itself?"

The Slytherin shook his head "I didn't expect to be captured or anything like that to happen, believe me" His hands trembled, and even though Harry was pissed he reached and held them between his own "That room was the last place I wanted to be"

Harry nodded, he felt the same way "Then what? It was just... Luck?"

"Oh no. I was sure we were going to die when he realized the blood was fake..."

What?

"But you were so relaxed"

"I have faced death before, you know? I'm different now" Draco moved Harry's hands towards his lips and planted a kiss over his skin. It was very soft and it barely lasted a second, but Harry felt his whole body grow warm from it.

"I wasn't relaxed and I actually died once"

Draco chuckled at that, shrugging "I suppose deep down I..." he trailed off and pulled away from him as the office's door opened.

McGonagall was staring at them with a frown on her face, and she wasn't alone. Next to her was one of the aurors, the one he disliked. The woman had a stern look on her face, she had already yelled at them when she found them returning from Hogsmeade and the night of Bea's 'attack'. Harry really didn't want to be bothered again. He had broken the rules, surely, or something equally boring.

"Potter, I'm truly sorry" McGonagall spoke, and he blinked twice not understanding what was going on. Was everyone being vague and weird to confuse him? "This sort of... Occurrences shouldn't keep happening to you inside the school"

He had grown more than used to it. His whole childhood and adolescence had been marked by death and chaos, what was one more thing?

"It's alright, profe-"

"No, it's not" She sighed and walked towards him "You should have left me to deal with this, Potter. I told you to stay away from this." She shook her head softly, like a disappointed grandma, Harry wanted the Earth to swallow him.

"But I had to-"

"No, you didn't. I understand that before you... Had an important role to play in something much bigger than all of us. And even then, I voiced my concerns to Albus" She frowned, and Harry felt a weird mix of feelings run through him. He tried to think he was alone with McGonagall instead of observed by two other pair of eyes.

"I should have done more to protect you during your formative years, Potter. I am truly sorry" She placed a hand on his shoulder "And I understand that... It is difficult for everyone to relax after a war. I should have known you were involved in solving this... But I'm afraid it was already solved, and you just endangered yourself. Both of you did" Draco seemed to slump next to him, his brow furrowed. Was he thinking about the ministry or about his sentence? Harry wouldn't allow him to be expelled, even if he had to be expelled himself.

She was staring at him, so intently Harry had to look away. The golden boy unable to stare at his own Headmistress. Fantastic.

"Professor, may I?" the auror spoke, and Harry realized he had almost forgotten about her presence.

"Yes. Potter, Malfoy, I have been told you already know Jane" ugh, where they friends? "She was instrumental in... Well, saving you two"

Draco said nothing but Harry could tell his whole body said 'oh really?'. One day he would change Draco's mind about aurors, but that day wasn't anywhere near their present.

"Harry Potter, I must say I didn't think much of you when we met" That was new, and refreshing and Harry hated how much he liked her for that. Way too many people suck up to him now and... Even though sometimes he enjoyed the attention, most of the time it made him feel overwhelmed and guilty for surviving. "But you have good instincts... You would make an excellent auror" She frowned "Bell had all of us tricked, he-... Was a friend" Harry remembered the betrayal on Lupin and Sirius when-...

"I'm sorry" He said, and she must have noticed it was heartfelt because she smiled at him. It was a small smile, but an honest one. "But-... We didn't really knew it was him"

She nodded "Still, your methods were commendable. With training you would be excellent. I will put a good word for you. I am aware the department would be delighted to have you... But if you wish to train with someone who won't cuddle you, I can give you some recommendations"

Harry was suddenly very aware of everyone in the room. Draco was glaring at him. McGonagall was smiling. Jane was waiting for an answer. He wanted to disappear into himself.

"Thank you" He said, with the same tone he used to turn down interviews or when someone thanked him for his 'service' "I'll need time to think about this"

The Auror nodded, clearly pleased. Had he given her a mature answer? He didn't know and he didn't care, too many questions still lingering in the back of his mind.

McGonagall turned to Jane and spoke to her for a couple of minutes, something about the wards and Azkaban -the sole mention making Draco flinch next to him- and Bea's recovery. Which-...

"Is she going to be okay?"

The women stared at him, no one wishing to speak. "She will stand trial, but... She's still a minor and we suspect..." McGonagall shook his head "She will be fine, Potter"

The Auror said a couple hurried words and then left. Harry had been so wrong about her. He was truly awful at judging people.

When the headmistress was left alone with them, she allowed herself to look exhausted.

"Mr. Malfoy, due to the circumstances I had to call your parents"

Draco nodded "I see"

"Aurors are deciding if they will be allowed to come here to speak to me, or not. We will know in a moment"

Harry half expected Draco to protest, but he only slumped even more in one of the chairs.

"And Mr. Potter... I took the liberty of informing Mrs Weasley of your well being"

Oh, why? Molly had enough on her plate and she wasn't his mother. His mother was dead. Dead and buried and he had never met her and he-...

"Professor, would you give us a moment?" Harry heard Draco but he didn't quite register it. He even heard McGonagall whisper a resigned 'five minutes'. In any other circumstance he would be shocked but his mind was somewhere far away.

Draco rose from his chair, standing in front of him and taking him by the shoulders. His gaze was firm even if his lip was bloodied still. Harry wanted to kiss the blood away and forget that that night had ever happened. He wanted to go back and ignore the attacks, be a normal student living a normal life with his boyfriend and his friends. He wanted to go back in time so much just to have his mother hold him. Just _once_.

"Harry-" Draco was touching his cheek, and he almost didn't realize it.

"Sorry, I-..."

"I know" Draco kept a steady tone, calm and low as if he truly understood what was going on in his head. But he didn't. Who could? "But the danger passed. We are okay, all of us"

All of us. Harry closed his eyes trying to think of Hermione and Ron and Neville and Ginny and even stupid Pansy and everyone he knew that was still alive. The Weasleys. Teddy Lupin. Even if it hurt, they were safe, weren't they?

Harry found himself hugging Draco as tightly as he could, digging his fingers into the fabric of his vest, his eyes closed as if to not let a single tear drop. The Slytherin didn't waver, he held him tightly with his arms behind his neck, one hand on his head. Harry realized how much he liked Draco being taller than him, but he didn't say it.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what I was doing. But there was no time and you are a terrible actor. It had to be convincing"

"We could have died for what you did"

"I-... Kept thinking you would get us out of it" Harry couldn't see it, but he was sure Draco was blushing. "It was foolish"

"Yeah, my only plan was to dive after my wand and improvise"

"Isn't that what you always did?"

Harry laughed, slapping his back but pulling him closer. He didn't know if their five minutes were done or not, but he didn't want to let go of him, not when Draco felt like the one thing linking him to the real world.

"There's something else I want to talk with you about... But later" He barely moved to press their foreheads together when the fireplace behind them flashed green and three shapes emerged from it. Harry had his back to it so he barely noticed, but when Draco pulled away from him as if he had seen the devil, he turned.

It wasn't the devil, but close. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were staring at them, looking exactly as regal as Harry remembered them. There was an auror escorting them, but he was sure Draco only had eyes for his parents. This definitely wasn't good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you can!


	21. No one ever told you?

_"There's something else I want to talk with you about... But later" He barely moved to press their foreheads together when the fireplace behind them flashed green and three shapes emerged from it. Harry had his back to it so he barely noticed, but when Draco pulled away from him as if he had seen the devil, he turned._

_It wasn't the devil, but close. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were staring at them, looking exactly as regal as Harry remembered them. There was an auror escorting them, but he was sure Draco only had eyes for his parents. This definitely wasn't good._

"Mother... Father, we-"

"You have gone through a traumatic experience, yes, we've been told" Lucius said, almost dismissively, his eyes on both of them. Harry could see his anger, but something more in there as well. He was sure their expressions were similar to the ones they had had during the Battle, while they desperately tried to find their son. For a split second, Harry thought they were going to rush in and hug Draco. They didn't.

"Where's the headmistress? We are supposed to see her" Narcissa looked around, hands clutched tightly in front of her dress. Was she trying not to hug Draco? Was she nervous? Or was she enraged and trying not to lash out at them? Harry couldn't tell, and something told him Draco couldn't either.

"She's... Outside" Draco cleared his throat and turned to him "Could you...?"

"Sure" Harry knew he wasn't welcomed there, and he really wanted to get away from Lucius' gaze. He suspected Draco didn't want to be left alone with them either, but at least McGonagall would be there with him.

There was no doubt in Harry's mind: they had seen them hugging, foreheads touching... Anyone would see that friends don't touch each other like that. Harry didn't want Draco to have to face whatever he had to face in there alone, but at the same time some things had to be a certain way.

With a final look at them, Harry left the office to find McGonagall.

*

"I can explain" Draco said, trying very hard not to feel exhausted. The weight of the whole day was finally catching up to him and he couldn't handle the look on his parents faces. It was more than anger, it was disappointment, it was... He was used to seeing his Father's disappointed frown, but seeing both of them?

It was different too. When they got mad at his grades or his manners he could work and change, improve. But he couldn't change this.

"Can you? It is unbelievable how _little_ you-"

"Not now, Lucius" Narcissa closed the gap between them, enveloping him in a tight hug. For a split second Draco didn't know what to do. They weren't a family of huggers, hell, they didn't really touch that much at all. Something must have moved in Lucius because he joined the hug, an arm around his wife and another around him. He was being appropriate, of course, but Draco could see the sentiment in his actions.

Draco felt like crying. He had no idea what this meant, and he knew his father wouldn't discuss such a sensitive subject in front of an auror. Of course, he wasn't foolish enough to believe that this was some sort of approval. It wasn't. The cat was out of the bag and Draco was the one who would have to endure whatever happened next, even if it didn't happen right away.

When Narcissa broke the small hug, only cold air replaced it and Draco felt alone again.

"We told you not to put yourself in danger again"

The feeling of loneliness and despair was quickly replaced by anger. He put _himself_ in danger the first time? Yes, he could have said no to the mark but he had been sixteen! If he had done anything, it had been _for them!_

"You can't tell me what to do"

"Clearly we can't" Lucius said, staring at him. Studying him. Why couldn't he just be a normal father?! Draco had no clue what that was but he suspected it involved hugs, and words of encouragement and warm smiles.

He knew there was no point to fixate on it, he had the parents he had and he would have to learn to live with that. They had to discuss what had happened, but Draco didn't find the strength inside to do so. He could see the way they were staring, as if they didn't recognize their own son. He was sure his parents didn't know what this meant. He was sure they were wondering if he would marry Astoria, if he would just play along, if this was a simple whim.

Draco wanted to say so many things, but before he could open his mouth, the office's door opened and the Headmistress strode in, a frown on her face. He imagined it couldn't be easy to be polite to a bunch of Death Eaters, even if he felt like she thought a bit better of him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy, it's good that you are here" She stopped in front of them, clasping her hands behind her back.

"How could you allow this to happen? The students are supposed to be safe"

Oh, the irony. Draco didn't feel strong enough to look at her in the eyes.

"Your son broke the rules of the school, placing himself in danger. We did everything we could to keep everyone safe, Mr. Malfoy. And I _assure_ you he's not in any danger at the moment. In case you have forgotten, I wrote to you both, concerned about your son's safety. I didn't get a response" Draco frowned, raising his head just enough to see the glimpse of emotion that went through his mother's face. He would figure out what they were talking about, but not that night.

"Given their circumstances, my offer is back on the table. If Draco wishes to leave, I can talk to the Ministry"

Lucius seemed paler than usual, one of his hands moving restlessly next to his body. It was clear how much he missed his cane, and the wand, of course. His face, though, betrayed nothing.

Draco panicked, trying to wrap his head around what they were saying. Him, leave the school? He wasn't enduring nights filled with nightmares and living in a place that only brought back bad memories to give up now. He needed those grades, and right now he needed to prove to himself that he _could_. Not only that, but why were they choosing for him? True, he was only eighteen and sometimes he didn't feel equipped to survive adult life, but that didn't mean they could... Tell him what to do anymore!

His hands fisted at his side, he tried to calm his heartbeat.

"Of course he's coming with-"

"I'm staying" Draco could barely hear his own voice, but it was enough to stop his father. He looked up, but straight to McGonagall, not being able to look to his parents faces. He couldn't handle more looks of disappointment.

"Very well" The professor said, nodding only once and turning to the other adults.

_I'm dead,_ Draco thought, _once I get home I'm dead. He'll kill me._

"Son"

"Draco, you are allowed to leave the room if you want to" There was something in the way she said it that made him think that perhaps she didn't hate him.

"But we are not done talking to him" Narcissa said, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm tired, mother. It's been a long day" He moved away from his hand, but held it for a brief moment. Gathering all the courage he could, he looked up to his father and nodded once "Father"

And without looking at them again, he turned and left the room. Once the door closed behind him, his knees almost gave. He had to lean back against the stone wall and close his eyes, every breath was pure fire inside his lungs, trying to eat him alive. Things weren't supposed to be like this. He was supposed to get the upper hand on his Father for once. Now it was all for naught. His parents had seen them, and they had a clear idea of what was going on. The moment he set foot inside his home again, it would be his downfall. Draco knew they would come up with some sort of plan, to make him right again. To _fix him_. Perhaps he would have liked that, before. Before Harry, and his stupid green eyes, and his messy hair, and his soft moans, and the way he got really cuddly after fooling around.

He couldn't hear anything from the office, and he didn't want to. His father would surely make a scene or something and he didn't want to handle that anymore.

Draco pulled himself together, swallowing what felt like lava down his throat, and walked down the hallways he had memorized. Part of him was surprised that Harry had left, and wondered if he was actually angry at him. The rational part of his brain, instead, told him McGonagall had probably forced him to go to bed and Harry surely felt as spent as him.

The way down towards the dungeons was easy to follow, especially on autopilot. Draco felt like screaming, really, but he had never - and would never- allow himself such a display of raw emotion. Instead, he would dive inside the covers of his bed, hiding behind them until the tears behind his eyes started to burn so much there was no other option than to let them fall.

He stopped for a brief moment in front of his house's door, trying to gather his thoughts and look as composed as possible before going inside. His lip hurt like all hells and even though he was quite skilled at occlumency it still took incredible amounts of energy to resist the serum long enough.

There were more people in the common room than he would have liked, without making eye contact with anyone he walked quickly to his bedroom. He needed the comfort of his bed, and the soft green shimmer from the lake. Draco's heartbeat was quickening, afraid of closing his eyes and seeing the face of that man again. He had tried very hard not to be haunted anymore by what had happened during the war, he had even stopped seeing Voldemort's face before falling asleep, and he was afraid that what had happened that night would hinder all of his progress. What if now he started to dream about being tied up to that chair? Or about the things Bell told him _before_ Harry arrived?

With shaking hands, he pulled at the covers, and after quickly changing into clean clothes, he got himself all tucked in and ready to fall asleep. Ha. Sleeping, it had been nice, before. Right now it was... a nightmare waiting to happen.

Despite his troubling thoughts, and the weight on his chest, exhaustion got the better of him. His eyelids felt heavy and he quickly drift off to a dreamless sleep.

*

Harry felt terrible for not waiting for Draco the night before. It had been impossible to stay outside the Headmistress' office when Hermione found him. She was furious and worried and despite his protests she pulled him back to the Tower. He half-heard what she was saying, something about going off on his own, and being careless, and not telling her what he was doing and putting himself in danger... the usual. Harry knew he should feel a bit more guilty, but he didn't. There was an odd numbness right where the pain was, and he didn't know what to make of it. Was it a good thing? Or was it the beginning of the end?

There was something inside his mind that told him both Molly Weasley and Draco were right, he wasn't right in the head and he should ask for help. But there was something else, a strange fear -no, a terror- that told him not to do something foolish like that. So instead, he remained on this strange limbo where things felt like too much or nothing at all.

“I'm sure you are going to see him today, calm down” Hermione said, trying to hide her distaste for his relationship with Malfoy. It was strange, how despite the new found peace between her and Draco, she was still weary of their relationship. Harry was half sure it was because she was always looking out for him, and wasn't sure if he was the right one. Sometimes, he wanted to snap at her and just tell her off. But most of the times, he knew Draco was the one thing that felt like the future and that was enough.

The future. It was strange how he had never thought much about the future. He had, once. The memory was too painful ( _I could go live with him, my godfather. It would be perfect. We would..._ ) so he vanished it to the bottoms of his heart, for later. For a moment in time when he felt ready.

But being around Draco wasn't painful, or hard. It was complicated, but it was also easy, somehow. And he could drift off and think about his future. It made the numbness go away for a while.

“I'm calm” He looked at his friend and smiled reassuringly. Ron was with them but he seemed completely relaxed. Luckily his best friend didn't really seem to mind that he was with Draco. Well, Harry knew he did mind, but he had been polite -sometimes a bit cold- to Draco and had only been supportive of him, so... Harry was quite happy about it. Maybe he would ask why, one day.

They were about to go into the Great Hall, when a blond head made him stop. Draco was, apparently, going to the same place. It was a happy coincidence -or, well, breakfast time-. Harry tried not to smile too much, but Ron was already groaning and pushing Hermione towards the Hall.

Harry waved them goodbye and hurried towards Draco. He looked fine, his lip was still hurt, cut in a fine line where his teeth had cut through but other than that, he seemed... normal.

“Hey”

“Hey” Harry whispered back, placing his hands on his pockets “Wanna go somewhere more...?”

“Yes” Draco made a small gesture and started walking down the hallway and he made sure to follow as quickly as he could. A part of him felt as if there was a lot to talk about, and another was just happy to be close to him for a little while longer.

They sat on the stairs leading up to the Astronomy tower, the air quiet around them. They were undisturbed, given that there were no classes scheduled for the day. Harry looked at him a bit more closely, there were bags under his eyes, but that wasn't unusual... not healthy, but not unusual. Harry remembered the blood on his chin, the way he had tried not to speak under the serum... But now he knew that had all been an act. All night he had tried to wrap his head around it, had everything been an act? His distress? His... Love confession? Harry felt nervous even thinking about it and looked away, knowing the other boy was staring right back at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" Harry shrugged, finding patterns on the stone floor "You?"

"I've been better"

He almost felt afraid to ask about his parents' reaction. “Did they say... something? Are you...?”

“We didn't talk about it. Not really. It wasn't the time or the place. They can't have a scandal like that right now” Draco frowned, looking down at his own hands.

"At least they... Maybe they are thinking about it. Maybe they were silent because they didn't know what to say but-"

"Don't-... I know you are trying to make me feel better but don't waste your energy. I know my parents. I know what I will have to endure once I'm back home. It's... Let's not talk about it now... Please?"

Harry nodded, giving up, knowing he was probably right. There was another thing that roamed his mind - _future, the future_ -, but he needed to know something first.

"Was it _all_ a lie?"

"What do you mean?" Draco raised his eyebrows in confusion, staring at him until something clicked. Harry tugged at the fabric of his trousers, trying to stay calm. "You are talking about what he asked me... About us?"

Harry knew allowing someone as disgusting as Bell to damage his relationship was not worth it. These kind of situations are what those people crave and Harry knew he was falling for it. But... He needed to know.

"Harry, I didn't want any of it to happen. I-... I know it's hard for you to understand but... For it to be believable, I had to-"

"It's alright, really, you had to lie and you are _very_ good at it, clearly. There's... It's okay"

Draco sighed audibly, turning slightly towards him and reaching for one of his hands. He held it between his own, still staring at him. Harry wondered if he would ever stop feeling those butterflies at the sight of those grey eyes.

"Shut up and listen to me. In order to make it believable I _couldn't_ lie" That made no sense and Harry was about to say something before he shushed him with a look "I couldn't just lie about everything, and look calm or he would've known I was successfully resisting. I had to tell the truth about everything _except_ the blood"

Harry's heart started beating, no, not beating: pounding inside his chest and he was sure his hands were sweaty now. Why was Draco still holding one of his hands? How had all of this happened? How could anyone, in their right mind, love him...?

Draco barely tilted his head, a frown the only tell of his preoccupation "You act as if no one ever told you that they-..."

Harry couldn't remember anyone in his life saying _'I love you'_ to him. No one. Not once. A deep shame burnt right through his chest, pouring down his stomach and rising through his neck. He pulled his hand from between Draco's.

"Harry, it's..."

"Don't say it's alright"

There was silence. Of course Draco didn't know what to say. No one ever did. And perhaps Draco didn't want him to know how he felt. Who would?

"Do you, _uhm_ , feel... The same then?"

Harry frowned, wasn't that obvious? He was about to shrug, as he always did to avoid something, but he could see the subtle change in Draco's demeanor: he was nervous, insecure even. It was strangely endearing.

"Yeah, I... Yeah"

"Oh, good" Draco looked away, but it seemed as if he was trying not to smile. It almost made Harry smile as well.

"You are bad at this"

"Oh, _I'm_ bad at this? You are _completely_...!" Draco stopped, looked at him... and started laughing with him. It was ridiculous how exhilarated he felt for something like that. Harry wanted... He wanted so many things. Somewhere, deep down inside of him, his younger self couldn't believe someone loved him. Truly loved him.

"Prick" Harry leaned in for a kiss, and quickly felt the soft touch of Draco's lips.

" _I'm_ the prick? You are the _worst_ " Draco pulled at his shirt and kissed him again, two quick pecks before pulling away, a silly grin on his face. Years ago he would have found the sight of a blushing Draco completely strange, perhaps suspicious, but right now? It made his heart quicken.

It was so easy to forget about... Everything when they were like this, that he had to put in some extra effort to focus. There was one thing he had been thinking all night as well.

"I've been thinking..."

"That's new"

"That's so overdone, Malfoy, get wittier"

" _Excuse you?"_

Harry chuckled and nudged their knees together "Look, it's important, I've been thinking and... I don't want you going back to a place that's not safe for you" Draco was frowning, but not interrupting which meant he needed more information "We did something reckless last night, but it was also... Brave and a bit smart. I can't ask the Ministry to reduce your sentence and, yes, I know you don't want me to. I respect that... But the thing is I could... We could ask them to allow you to... Complete the house arrest in... Uhm, my place?"

Draco's eyes widened so much Harry almost worried. Was that too much, too soon? Was he overstepping? Merlin, Draco probably didn't even want to live with him. After all, he was a mess. The nightmares were still there, and the panic attacks, and the subtle yet persistent desire to disappear. They were all there inside his head. But he... He wanted to get better. And he didn't mind Draco's nightmares, or his baggage. Perhaps Draco didn't mind his?

"Harry, uhm, I'm... Flattered. But..." he seemed speechless and if Harry weren't so nervous he would have felt proud. "We shouldn't... It's... You don't _really_ want me there"

"Of course I do"

"Potter-... Harry, I won't be able to go anywhere, I will get moody and angry and snap at you and I will be bored out of my mind and-"

"Grimmauld needs a lot of work. We could work on it together... You would have something to do" Draco seemed conflicted, and as nervous as he felt. "Look, don't answer right now... Promise you will think about it?"

Draco nodded, but his gaze went down "I'll ruin it, Harry and I _can't_..."

"You aren't ruining anything..." Harry decided that this wouldn't be fixed with words, so he simply pulled the blond in for a hug. The boy quickly hugged his waist, hiding his face against his shoulder, slumping a bit. It was good to be like this, and even better to realize they weren't exactly worried about someone coming up the stairs and finding them like that. It was liberating, somehow.

He knew Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy knew about them, and that meant they would, undoubtedly, have a say in their relationship. He tightened his grip around Draco. He hoped the slytherin would be strong enough to face them, but he also hoped they wouldn't harm him too much. Harry knew how much he had endured and... It was unfair to put him through even more stuff.

"What are you thinking about?" Draco whispered, without pulling away from their hug.

"Just thinking about... Well, Lucius"

"Should I be jealous?"

"What? _Agh_! No!" He could feel Draco's laughter against his shirt. "Just wondering if he is going to kill me now, or poison me over dinner or..."

"Hm, poison _could_ work"

"Draco!"

He laughed again, and he didn't feel tense at all. Harry wondered if he was handling all of this better than expected. After all, he hadn't been inside the room after Draco's parents saw them. Maybe they had been harsh but not horrible? Draco said they didn't talk about it, and Harry was pretty sure both Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy were extremely relieved to see their son. He hoped some of that relief allowed them to be sweet to Draco, instead of cold. Somehow he doubted it, but of course, he had no clue about rich families or pure blood wizards. Perhaps a pat on the back was enough for them. Somehow, feeling Draco's grip on him, he doubted it.

"Please do not think about my father" He finally looked up, pulling away from the hug "That's for me to handle... And for you to avoid during Christmas dinner"

Harry groaned, dreading the thought. Christmas with them? Oh, Merlin, they had an extremely rocky road ahead. Ron and Hermione had once gotten into a huge fight about where to go for the holidays and-...

"I'm not actually going to make you have dinner with them, Harry, relax. You look terrified" He said, smiling "I... My family is not an easy subject, you know this. Let me handle it and... We'll see what happens"

Harry nodded, not knowing why he was worrying so much about things that might never even happen. Of course, Harry knew he wanted Christmas dinners with Draco and for things to get... Serious. Fuck, he was doomed.

"Yeah, my mind just wandered..."

Draco gave him a brief nod and then got up from the steps "Come on, I promised Neville I would help him with Potions in exchange for his herbology notes"

"You are playing nice" Harry tried not to smirk, but failed.

"I'm _always_ nice"

"Oh, sure you are"

"The _nicest_ " Draco chuckled at his own words while walking down the stairs with him, he was relaxed despite everything that had happened. It made him relax as well.

Harry almost didn't want to ask, but he knew he had to.

"There was something you wanted to talk to me about"

Draco kept a perfect poker face, which meant that whatever it was, it was big. Damn. He saw the slytherin shrug as they walked towards the Courtyard.

People stole glances at them here and there, but at the moment everyone seemed worried to get inside to try an escape the incoming rain.

"Draco" Harry stopped him by the arm, they had already reached the courtyard, but stayed under the stone arches. The sky was a dark shade of grey, and Harry tried not to stare at the lightning in the distance. He hadn't been the biggest fan of the rain growing up, but since the war it felt oddly liberating.

"I just... It's not so simple" Draco crossed his arms, resting against one of the stone pillars. "I don't want to influence you"

"What are you on about?"

Draco turned his face from him, staring at the sky, the gray of the clouds reflected on his eyes. Harry couldn't stop staring at him.

"Did you think about... Becoming an auror?"

"I-..." Harry had had a small fear their talk would go there "I have thought about it, yes. I almost didn't come back, thought about working with Kingsley"

He saw Draco nod, his crossed arms tightening more, his body a bit tense "Do you wish to hear my opinion about it?"

"Why are you asking me that? You can just say what you think" Harry wanted to reach out and touch his arm, but didn't "Just speak"

"I can't just..." Draco groaned and looked back at him, frowning "People already think it's weird we are friends and once they know they'll think I'm only trying to influence you and-"

"And?"

"And I... We are _involved_ " His voice lowered, clearly not wanting anyone to hear "I want you to choose freely and not trying to make me happy"

"Alright, I'll promise I'll choose freely" Harry was losing his patience "Just speak already"

He didn't want to admit the auror business made him snap at people, but it did.

"But you might feel pressured to..."

"Draco, listen to me: you are not going to manipulate me, alright? You couldn't even if you tried" Draco raised an eyebrow and Harry shifted in place "Well, maybe you could, but... But I know you wouldn't use my feelings against me" Now he was whispering as well, moving a bit closer to him. His words seemed to have an effect on Draco, because he uncrossed his arms.

"I've been thinking about this for a while now. I guess I'll keep it short... I don't want you to be an auror" Harry felt as if someone punched right at his chest, all of the air escaping from his lungs. There was something else, a strange anger bubbling inside of him. It wasn't directed at Draco, it had been there for a while, and he didn't know what to do with it.

"Why? Or is it just because?"

Draco threw a couple glances to his fisted hands, and crossed his arms again. Damn. He tried to relax his hands, he would never hurt him. Draco had to know that, right?

"There are several reasons, if you wish to hear them"

"I do"

Draco pressed his lips into a thin pale line, looking around, a couple thunders exploding in the distance. The air was damp, and the temperature had dropped, it would rain any moment now. Harry kept his focus on Draco.

"Very well, I won't sugarcoat it. I know you hate that" Even if his words seemed confident, he could see Draco's uneasiness "I know this has been a dream of yours, and I have no doubt in my mind that you would be... Excellent. You would do a lot of good, for a lot of people" He shrugged "That being said, I think you are unfit to do the work in your current state. And... Even if you were well, the work would push you to... Dangerous situations, to pain and loss. You would never be... At peace" Draco tried to read his face. If he was honest, Harry had no idea what expression he had on.

"And..." He spoke, his own voice raspy and strangled "and the selfish reasons?"

"Don't make me say those" Draco held his gaze, but eventually gave up "I would be worried out of my mind about you. There. Happy?"

"No"

There was a long silence after that, but they didn't move away from the other. Harry could see lighting far beyond Draco's head, this would be a big storm. He tried to picture the sound of the raindrops against the Tower's windows, how calming it would be. It didn't calm him now.

"And if I do decide to become and auror, what? You'll break up with me?"

"No"

Harry had to do a double take, staring at him with a frown on his face. He had expected Draco to eventually put some sort of condition, he had expected for the world to show him that no one would ever truly love him. Not without leaving him.

"No?"

"Merlin, Potter. Of course not"

"But you..."

"You don't have to do whatever I want. Harry" there was a softness in his voice when he moved away from the stone column, his hand touching his arm very briefly "You don't have to impress me with your heroics, or be whatever it is you think I want. Do you understand that?"

Harry nodded, speechless and a bit surprised at his words. Of course, something inside of his brain was screaming that he had never tried to appease anyone, that he didn't care about his heroics, but he knew it was a lie. Perhaps he had tried to prove he was... worth something. Perhaps he was still trying to prove it.

"You, uhm, you too"

Draco chuckled "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind" The amount of people on the Courtyard were dwindling so Draco placed his hand on his arm again, rubbing it this time. It was comforting, more than he had expected. Harry had never truly realized how little human contact he usually had. Not until Draco, who was incredibly cuddly. Which, of course, was the biggest surprise of them all.

"We should go inside, it's about to rain. Neville probably forgot about our study session anyway. Let's go"

"Actually..." Harry grinned "race me to the lake?"

"Are you daft? It's about to rain!"

“So? "

"Yeah, no. I'm not getting drenched"

Harry chuckled "I think you are just scared of loosing" There was something oddly comforting in their old rivalry and he could see Draco try to suppress a grin.

"I know what you are trying to do, but fine, race you to the lake"

Harry walked out to the courtyard and Draco grudgingly followed, glancing up to the clouds from time to time.

"At the count of three. One..." Harry smiled a bit wider, placing one foot ahead "Two... Three!"

Surprisingly, Draco didn't cheat, starting at the same time as him. Well, Draco had never been a cheater. A sore loser? Definitely, but Harry didn't remember a Quidditch game where the blond tried to cheat. Hm. Harry made a mental note to ask him about Quidditch, but later.

He focused on the running, trying to get ahead of Draco by any means necessary but the slytherin was surprisingly fast. Neither of them had done much exercise or sports on the ground. Did the war count as an exercise? Harry frowned, feeling his legs start to cramp. Shit.

"Come on, Potter, can't you catch me?"

Draco was about two or three strides ahead of him. No. Oh, no. Harry wasn't as arrogant as people assumed Gryffindors were, but he was extremely competitive. There was an enormous satisfaction in winning, but it wasn't just that. It was the thrill of the chase, the exhilaration... And his competitive side was only truly pleased when he was on against Malfoy. There was no doubt in his mind about that.

So, he clenched his teeth and tried to run faster, ignoring the pain on his legs or the left side of his abdomen.

They took a turn as to not run directly into a rock, the lake looming in the distance. Harry had managed to get in arms reach of Malfoy, when the clouds were unable to hold on any longer and water started pouring down. It was cold, fat drops getting into his hair, making his uniform stick to his skin. Harry had never felt more alive.

He could see the lake, but Malfoy was still winning. It wasn't his proudest moment, but Harry reached out to try and stop him, causing Malfoy to avoid him and run even faster, reaching the lake only seconds before him.

"Your tried to cheat!" he said, his chest rising and falling fast. They were both drenched from head to toes, and Harry imagined he was incredibly cold, even if his cheeks were still pink from all the running.

"I didn't. I... Almost... Lost... My footing..." he said, breathing in between his words, hands going to his knees as he leaned forward just a bit.

"You didn't! Harry Potter is a cheater! Is this how you won all those games? Oh, you are in _so_ much trouble"

"No... I'm just better than you in the air"

Draco smirked "Oh, are you?"

"Yeah"

"Maybe your luck ran out"

"Shut up" Harry straightened his back, a smile on his face. The water falling on his body was... Perfect. He had wanted to stand on the rain for so long, to just let it wash everything away. He closed his eyes, letting his head fall back for a while. "I want to kiss you" Harry found himself saying, looking at him through the rain.

"I-... Here?"

"I know, we shouldn't-" Harry couldn't finish, Draco had quickly grabbed his face and placed his lips on top of his. It felt warm under all that cold water. Freeing. Perfect. Harry hugged him, tightly, kissing back with everything he had.

They were probably alone, but someone somewhere was bound to see them. Hell, considering how they had run out some people might even have followed them. But if that didn't bother Draco then it didn't bother him.

_I want to stay here forever,_ Harry thought, _kissing him. I don't want to let him go._

Thanks to the freezing water coming from above, the kiss felt sweeter. The only warmth was the one from their bodies as they pressed against each other. Harry could feel some restraint from Draco, as they were kissing in a public space, but there was something intimate in the way their lips were meeting, and how his hands were diving in between strands of his hair. Harry had never cared much about his hair, and had heard from a lot of people it was messy or ugly. Draco was one of those people, but there was a _way_ in how he complained about it, almost as if he secretly loved it. Harry knew it was stupid, but when Draco had his hands on his hair like that, it made him like himself a bit more.

"Are you freezing?" Harry whispered over his lips, his hands on the small of his back, feeling the hot skin under the soaked shirt. The Hogwarts' uniform was extremely uncomfortable when wet, but it didn't matter. Nothing matter.

"No" Draco leaned in again, kissing him slower this time. It didn't last long and Draco pulled away. "We should go back inside now" There was something in the way he stared at him that made Harry's heart jump. Neither of them checked the surroundings, they had no clue if anyone had seen their little display. But the world hadn't ended. They were both still alive and unharmed. Perhaps things wouldn't be so bad.

Harry didn't want to go back inside. It felt good being under the cold rain. True, it was like having ice instead of bones, but it made him feel calm. Like a balm on all his invisible wounds. Draco didn't push, standing in front of him  and probably freezing.

"Alright, let's go" Harry finally spoke, a smile on his face. He wanted, more than anything, to hold his hand all the way back but he knew some things had to be done slowly. He wasn't sure if Draco was ready for so much, neither was he. If he thought about it, though, he had had people hate him, bad mouth him and gossip about him most of his life. People had talked about _personal_ things of his life, they had dared to spread lies about how he felt about his parents' deaths... would it be so bad to have them gossiping about his love life _again_?

With a glance towards Draco he knew it would be bad. He didn't quite care if they spoke shit about him, but they would speak ill about _them_ and he was sure Draco wasn't going to take that well.

"Are you going to get pissed at me if I use a drying spell?"

Draco chuckled, reaching the main floor of the castle. They were both drenched and the cold had settled. "Not this time, Potter"

"Good" Harry moved his wand to dry both of them, and placed a warming spell as well. It would do no one good to get sick.

Draco smiled at him, rubbing at his own arms while his eyes tried to look around them. It was clear to Harry what he was trying to do, but he didn't comment on it.

"See you later? I'll try to find Neville"

"Sure thing. I have something to do as well"

Draco gave him a look, as if wanting more information but Harry only shrugged "Fine, be mysterious."

**

Harry found Elliot sitting outside the Infirmary, alone. It was strange to find him on his own, but Harry assumed Noah was inside the infirmary, talking to Beatrice.

"Hey! How are you?" The boy asked, standing up to greet him "We heard what happened. I-"

"I'm fine. We're fine"

"I should've known something was wrong. Malfoy almost dies because I didn't"

Harry shook his head, but he knew he was right. If Elliot had realized something was amiss, that Draco hadn't been seen for most of a whole day, perhaps things would have gone smoother. Still, he couldn't blame him for being a normal student with normal worries.

"It's alright, Elliot. It's nobody's fault. I came to check on... her, actually"

Elliot crossed his arms and nodded, but he didn't seem to excited to be there. Who could blame him?

"Noah's talking to her. They are not going to press charges or anything but she needs to go to see a therapist or something" He gave a quick glance towards the closed door. Harry knew how protective he was, and he assumed he was worried about Noah and how well he would fare against Beatrice. Of course, Harry didn't really know the story between the three but he knew Beatrice was only a child. A hurt one.

"Do you know how she's doing?"

Elliot nodded "She's not good. Apparently he told her he was capable of taking a curse that runs in her family off of her. And... other things"

"She's just a victim"

There was something in the eyes of the other boy that told him he wasn't so sure about it, but Harry didn't want to push too much. The girl was safe, and she would be taken care off. Everything was bound to be okay, wasn't it?

"I just... I don't trust her"

"You'll be okay, she's not a threat anymore"

"It's not that" Elliot chewed on his lower lip and then sighed "I don't want her manipulating Noah or something"

"You should give him more credit. I think he can take care of himself?"

Harry looked towards the closed door and wondered what was transpiring inside. Had Noah asked for Elliot to wait outside? Or had it been Bea's plea? If he could advice something, he would advice for them to keep her at arm's length but... could he? should he?

"I hope you are right... Her parents are taking her off the school anyways. They are nice people, and... I guess they want to take care of their daughter" Elliot seemed conflicted for a moment, and was about to say something when the door opened and an exhausted Noah appeared. His eyes were slightly red, as if he had been crying.

Harry almost wanted to ask what had happened, but the Hufflepuff smiled at him as a greeting.

"Hi, Harry. She'll like to see you"

"Oh. I only came to-" Harry whispered but decided it might be better to check in on her personally "Are you okay, Noah?"

He nodded "Yes"

Harry wanted to press a little bit more, but he didn't want to overstep. So instead, he waved goodbye and walked inside the infirmary. He had gone so many times there in his school years, that it almost felt familiar to be there. He half expected to see a petrified Hermione in there. Merlin, that had been horrible.

Instead, there was a disheveled girl on one of the beds. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying, and her hair was loose. She was wearing a hospital gown, and Harry didn't want to know why. Usually students got to keep their clothes inside the infirmary, unless they were really ill or if they clothes got burnt off -it had happened once or twice before.

"Beatrice"

She looked up, looking extremely exhausted. Harry almost got the impression that she was completely spent, unable to get angry or sad or... He could understand that numbness. He sat on a chair next to her bed, where he assumed Noah had been sitting and stared at her. It wasn't easy to talk to someone that had had her wand pointed at both him and Draco, with the intent of possibly hurting them. But, at the same time, he didn't hate her. Not one bit.

"What do you want?" Her voice was still weak from crying.

"Just wanted to see how you were doing... That's all"

Beatrice nodded, her hands kneading a piece of the blankets over and over. "I'm fine"

"I know we aren't friends but... you are going to be fine, alright? And nobody blames you"

"I don't need your pity" She looked away, blushing. Was she angry?

"It's not pity, Bea. You have great friends, you know? Noah and Elliot, they are really worried"

She scoffed.

Harry didn't know if he had said something wrong, or misinterpreted her relationship to the boys. Somehow, she reminded him of Draco. Not the Draco he knew now, but a sad and lonely Draco that had been crying his heart out on a certain bathroom.

"If there's anything you need... you can always call me"

She frowned and looked at him, almost as if she couldn't believe he was there "Why?"

"You put your trust in the wrong person... that's all"

Her eyes watered again, but she didn't speak. One of her hands left the blankets and grabbed his shirt's sleeve. She closed her eyes, and her hand fisted against the fabric. He didn't move away, giving her time. Harry knew she wasn't going to speak to him about what had happened, but if he could give her something -anything- to improve his situation, he was going to do it. And if that entailed sitting there while she cried, he would.

**

"Why do you have a plant in here?" Draco said, arching an eyebrow. He sat across from Neville, and pulled out his books, placing them carefully over the table. It had been pure luck to find him in there.

"Draco?" Neville stared, surprised for a few moments, before something dawned on him "Oh! We were supposed to meet at the... Oh, damn, I forgot! I saw the clouds and thought it would rain so I stayed inside and... Completely forgot. You must be pissed"

Draco smirked, alright maybe it hadn't been lucky to find him in there. "It's alright, something came up and I didn't show up anyway"

"Oh" Neville nodded, always so calm. Draco knew he was capable of being angry, hell, Neville was capable of being scary but it was refreshing to see someone so nice. It was tiring as well, but Draco wouldn't be around him that much anyways.

Draco opened up his potions' notebook and moved it towards the other boy "Do you have the notes I asked for?"

Neville nodded and gave him three parchments filled with drawings and notes on belladonna. Thank Merlin. Draco loved potions and he was quite capable of remembering which plant did what, but he was uninterested in learning about the plants' life cycle or whatever. He wasn't going to be raising the plants, he would buy whatever he needed and be done with it. Still, if he wanted to... Even consider pursuing a career in potions he needed an Outsanding in Herbology as well. And he knew exactly who was the best to help him: Neville.

Any other boy would have said no, considering their history and their families histories, but Neville was just so... Nice.

There had been a time when he had bullied him and enjoyed watching him flustered... No, not flustered, hurt. Coming to terms with everything he had done -even as a stupid child- and how it had affected others was... Extremely hard. Sometimes Draco wished he was the stone cold, heartless man people thought he was. If he were that sort of man, then he wouldn't care. And if he didn't care, he wouldn't hurt. But, sadly for him: he did care.

"Longbottom, I-... Wanted to talk to you"

Neville looked up, he had been drawing another plant. Draco had no idea which one.

"About?"

"I... Was really horrible to you. I'm sorry for any pain I caused"

"Oh" Neville stared at him, but he didn't seem surprised, almost as if he had expected it. Well, fair enough. "Okay, I forgive you, Malfoy"

"I-... Thank you"

"Ah, it's fine. That's all... So far away, wouldn't you say?" Draco nodded, it did feel like it had been ages ago. "We were children, you didn't know any better"

Draco wasn't sure if that was true or if he had purposely ignored what was right for the longest of time.

"I do now"

Neville nodded and went back to his work, so Draco took it as a cue to do the same. He had a lot of studying to do if he was going to do as well as he needed, but once he got his mind into something it was very hard to get in his way. Of course, this lead to some... Overworking, but it was fine.

There were some other things in play that made him want to dive deep into his studies and ignore the world around him, most of those things being the way people was staring and whispering. He knew someone had seen them kiss under the rain. He just knew, and that added to all the rumors already circulating was enough for everyone to get a good picture of their relationship. It was nerve-wracking. So instead of thinking about it, he looked down into his piece of parchment and kept writing about Belladonna and its uses.

"There was something I wanted to talk to you about" Neville said, pulling him out of his concentration.

"Yeah?"

"Mh. You really seem to care about Harry and... We were talking about getting him something for his birthday. It's a bit early to discuss it but, do you want to pitch in?"

Draco blinked and felt a bit at a loss for a few moments. He knew Harry's birthday date -due to a huge obsession on him, once upon a time- but he had never seen him on that day, or given him anything for it.

"I would love to"

"I'm sure Hermione is going to buy him something extra as well, and you probably will but it'll be nice to get him something as a group"

"Of course" Draco knew how much Harry deserved it. Still, it was hard to think about what to get him. Harry didn't have anything but he didn't put that much weight on material things, which made it all the more complicated.

There was something in the back of his head, reminding him that his own birthday was coming ( _way too soon_ ), right during exam week. He had liked birthdays, long, long ago. Now it was just another day. And he was sure Harry didn't know the date. Well, since his friends weren't there, probably no one other than him and Astoria knew about it. Draco wondered if, had things been different, Neville and his friends would have been interested in knowing him, or spending time with him on his birthday. There was no real point in dwelling about what could have been, and it wasn't as if he were exactly compatible with Harry's friends.

Neville seemed pleased with his answers so he went back to his work. They stayed there for a couple of hours, until both of them were exhausted and Draco's arm ached from copying down the notes. They shared a small "thanks" and got up from the table. Draco was probably going to keep reading once he got to his bed -sleeping wasn't easy anyways.

"If you need more help with herbology we can-"

"Hey!" Draco frowned at another student, that had suddenly hit his shoulder with his own in passing, almost as if wanting to get his attention.

" _Queer_ " The boy sneered at him, just a few steps away from him.

Draco felt his blood go cold, all of it straight to his legs. He wanted to run away, to run away from the whole world. He didn't. Instead, he did the other thing he knew: he pushed all of his feelings as deep inside of his heart as he could, unable to cope with them at the moment.

"What's your name?" Draco asked, coldly.

"Why?" He said, looking slightly unsettled. Was Draco giving him a scary look? He couldn't be sure. "Do you _like_ me, huh?"

"You know who I am" _Who you think I am_ "You know what I can do. It's more fun to hurt someone when you know their names, don't you think so?"

The kid grew pale, looking around for assistance but no one seemed to want to interrupt. Of course, every single table in the vicinity was eavesdropping.

"He's threatening me!" he said, moving away but shaking his hands towards him "this death eater, he just threatened me!"

"You should stay out of my way" Draco kept his tone calm, almost boring, but he knew who he was imitating. He felt sick.

"You are-"

Draco moved his hand to his pants' pocket, almost as if searching for his wand and the kid bolted. He saw him run out of the library. Draco closed his eyes, breathing again. Thank Merlin that the student hadn't known he didn't even have his wand.

"Why would you say that?"

Draco opened his eyes, confused "What?"

"That was..."

"I-... I didn't mean it. Obviously"

"Didn't seem like it. Seemed like you wanted to hurt a kid just because he insulted you"

Draco clenched his fists, feeling hurt and ashamed and misunderstood and he... He wanted to hurt Neville. Oh, Merlin, he wanted to hurt him so bad so he would feel as ashamed as he felt. Draco felt his fingernails digging at the palm of his hands.

"I-..."

Neville shook his head, walking past him, giving him a wide berth "I hope Harry's right about you"

Draco swallowed hard, grabbing at his school bag with trembling hands and ignoring the other eyes on him. The first few steps were slow, but after a moment or two he... Practically ran from the library, a horrible sensation on the pit of his stomach. He wanted to puke. Merlin.

What was better? To have people whispering about what a fag he was or have people whispering about what a cruel, evil Death Eater he was? Apparently he had chosen the latter, but he didn't feel any better about it. Ever since the Battle of Hogwarts, he had wanted to distance himself from all that cruelty. He wanted to be a new man, he wanted to be good. For Merlin's beard he wanted to make the right choices, but he kept fucking up!

Draco turned around a corner and looked for an escape route. The bathrooms were a no-no, and he wasn't sure he could make it to Myrtle's fast enough. When the hallway emptied, he pushed open a door, finding himself inside a small storage space. Good. He closed the door and, in the darkness, tried not to trip over a couple cleaning brooms and buckets. Quickly and quietly he found his way to the back wall and pressed his back to it. The darkness was comforting. He closed his eyes, sitting on the floor and focusing on the cold stone against his shirt.

There had been a time when darkness scared him, but after living with Voldemort and his followers, he had grown used to the dark. The only moments of peace and quiet he had had back in those days were the ones when he was alone in his bedroom, all the lights turned off and an eerie silence around him. The silence was comforting. It meant no one was being hurt, and no one was close to him. Besides, in the silence he could hear when someone approached his bedroom door. His breathing would stop, trying to figure out if it was Nagini slithering around or one of his parents or a death eater. Some nights the steps -or the slithering- would stop right outside of his door, and he would fist his hands over the sheets and hope the doorknob wouldn't turn. It never did.

Draco pressed his knees to his chest, resting his forehead on them while trying not to dwell on those memories. It was difficult. He hadn't meant to be like that to that kid, but he did. He went back to the mask he wore during those times. The one part of himself that he despised. True, he wasn't a murderer, but wasn't he just as guilty for watching and not doing anything to stop it?

His hands pressed at his legs, digging his fingernails against the fabric. He hadn't wished to react like that but he had never heard... That word. Not from anyone, not out loud. If he focused on it, shame started to stir inside of him. He wasn't ready for the whole school to know, why had he been so stupid? He truly felt as if nothing could touch him -or them - and he just kissed Potter in the most public space imaginable. He was stupid and now he was going to pay for it.

He didn't want to feel scared again, he didn't want to hold his breath expecting people to say nasty things at him. What if they try to hex him? He didn't have his wand outside of class, he wouldn't be able to defend himself!

His fingers dug deeper against his legs, eyes adjusting to the darkness.

But what could he do? The only alternatives meant hurting his relationship with Harry and he didn't want that. He wasn't going to publicly make a scene where he insulted or mistreated Harry, and he wasn't going to go around pretending to be in love with Astoria. So the only other option was to embrace it. To... Be unapologetic.

Draco groaned at his own thoughts, wishing the shame to go away, to leave him alone. It didn't seem to want to leave. Would it ever?

His parents pretty much knew, now the school knew... It was just a matter of time before the press...

Oh, he was definitely going to vomit. Why did he have to be the only gay kid at school? Well, he technically knew he wasn't but everyone else was fucking hiding and not helping.

"Just calm down" He said to himself, not quite sure as to how much time had passed. There were no sounds coming from the corridor, so he imagined he had been in there longer than expected.

While gathering strength to get up and go back to his bedroom, he heard steps. One, two, three. They were slow but steady and Draco's heart stopped. His mind raced back to all those sleepless nights, and he pressed his back harder against the back wall, trying not to make a single sound. He knew Voldemort was dead, he knew Nagini was dead, he knew there were no Death Eaters at Hogwarts but still... He felt terrified.

He swallowed when the steps stopped right outside the door. Draco started counting to three inside his head, one, two, three...

This time the doorknob turned.

Draco pressed a hand to his mouth and nose, keeping as quiet as he could. The door opened, of course, but there was nothing there.

Terrified, he looked down, expecting to see a slithering shape hurrying towards his body or something equally monstrous. He saw nothing. Draco was about to get up and run, when a head appeared, and then shoulders, and then there was a whole Harry Potter in front of him.

Right, that damned cloak.

Draco uncovered his mouth, breathing heavily. There was light coming from the half closed door, just enough to see Harry clearly.

"You were hard to find" He was smiling, even though his eyes showed incredible worry.

"Close the door"

Harry moved, slowly and with difficulty given the small space, and closed the door behind him.

"Neville told me what happened"

"All of your friends are fucking snitches" Draco said, but his tone was defeated.

"He was... Worried"

No, he was mad.

"I'm fine. Things got out of control, I... Didn't mean to..."

"I know"

_He does?_ "You do?"

"Yeah, you bite when you feel cornered" Harry said, moving a bit closer and reaching out to touch him. His hand felt up his leg until he found one of his hands, and he took it.

"I don't bite"

"You know what I mean. Draco... Are you alright?"

"No"

"Okay"

And he stayed there, holding his hand. Draco closed his eyes, squeezing hard and trying to relax, to find his breathing again.

"I don't want to leave yet"

"Okay"

Draco pressed his knees closer to his chest, trying to disappear into himself. One of his hands held one of Harry's, tightly, as if holding onto reality.

There was something soothing about a small space like that room, it made him feel safe and in control. Something he didn't feel in a crowd, or out in the open. Right there he couldn't be harmed, no one was going to jump at him. He was safe. But not alone. At least not this time.

"I-... I think everyone knows" Draco whispered, not looking towards Harry.

"Yes, I noticed that too. But it's not... We could still deny it, if you want"

Draco shrugged "Pointless"

"What?"

"It's pointless to deny it now. Someone saw us, and it's not like they didn't suspect anything and... My parents know. So why bother?" There was silence from the Gryffindor. "But if you want to deny it..."

"No. No, I don't" Harry intertwined their fingers, trying to move closer but unable to do so. "Ugh, this place is tiny. Ow, sorry" He said, accidentally hitting Draco's leg with his knee.

"It's okay... We should be going anyways"

"You missed dinner"

"It's... It's that late already? I-..."

"it's okay. It happens to me too" Harry moved away from him and pushed open the door, leaving the enclosed space. Draco knew he had to move, but it was harder than he thought it would be. With a deep breath, he took his school bag and walked out of the storage closet. The air outside felt cold against his skin, and everything was way too bright even though it was already night time. He didn't see any students, but he was sure they would eventually see some. Ugh. He wanted to disappear to an empty space. An island, deserted.

"We can go to the T-"

"No"

"Draco, I know you insisted on us sleeping in our own beds but... I mean, uh..." Harry ran a hand through his hair "If you need company, I could..."

Draco wanted to be with him, he didn't want to go to bed all alone that night, but...

Fuck it. _Fuck it._

"Come to Slytherin with me"  Students weren't supposed to be inside a house that wasn't their own, but perhaps that should change. Hell, the war had changed a lot already and Draco knew a lot of students -boys and girls- slept in groups, still reeling from the horrors of the Battle. Who could blame them?

"Okay. I have the cloak"

"Good... My roommates won't be in my room tonight, so we don't have to worry too much"

Harry nodded, there was a small frown on his face still and Draco wondered why. They started down the corridor, silently. There was a strange urge to take Harry's hand, bubbling in his chest, but he pushed it down. It was fine that people knew about them, but public displays of affection were... Terrifying. He wasn't there yet. Was Harry ready for that? Ugh, he had so many questions, and he knew he couldn't ask most of them.

Draco told him to wear the cloak only to sneak inside the common room. Not that anyone would bat an eye at it anymore, they all knew Harry had been in there and he himself had been inside the Tower. Besides, people didn't seem to care about their houses as much as they did before. Yes, it was important, but people wanted to be around those they loved, same house or not.

Perhaps that was the one good thing that came from the war. The only one.

The bedroom was deserted, as he knew it would be. His roommates didn't really speak to him at all, or acknowledge his existence. Which was fine by him. It almost meant that they would speak as if he wasn't in the room, so he always knew if they were doing something or planning a night out.

"So, we are alone?" Harry said, looking around the room while Draco took off his shoes and got up in his bed.

"Yes, probably all night. Why?"

Harry shrugged.

"Just asking"

"Don't go getting ideas. I'm not... not in here"

Harry got up in the bed next to him, closing the curtains as he always did. It was a reflex at this point, probably, but it made him feel safe. He wondered if the Gryffindor felt the same way.

"Why? You are really... I don't know. Didn't expect you to be so traditional"

Draco arched an eyebrow "You do know who I am, right?" He heard him laugh, and smiled back "I'm not traditional about _sex,_ Potter. Merlin's beard"

"But you just said-..."

He laid down on his side, and Harry did the same, staring into each other's eyes. "We've been having sex, haven't we?"

Harry frowned and Draco was kind of delighted with his confusion. "No?"

"Now who's being traditional?"

"I don't understand"

"Isn't oral sex, sex?"

Harry blushed and Draco wanted _so_ much to reach out and kiss his cheeks. He didn't, of course.

"Oh. Uh, uhm. I guess. But I meant... you know, sex _sex_ "

"Yes, precisely. I don't want to do it in my school's bedroom. Or in the school. This place is just... It would be..." He shook his head "Sorry, I can't"

"Don't say sorry" Harry placed a hand on his chest, making him look at him again "It's fine. I just wondered why, I mean... I don't know"

"Stop talking so much and kiss me" Draco whispered, moving closer and brushing his lips to Harry's.

It's not that he didn't want to have sex with Harry, he did, but the school wasn't the place for it. It was a place that didn't make him feel safe at all, and it was filled with bittersweet memories. He didn't want their first time to... be bittersweet. Perhaps he was just scared of dooming their relationship if they started something like that inside those walls. He knew it made no logical sense, but he wanted this completely separated from the one place that had been filled with blood and death not so long ago. Draco wanted to look back and not think about it _linked_ to the school.

Of course, he wouldn't elaborate on it. He didn't want Harry thinking he was _sweet_ or something.

"I wanted to do this all day" Harry said, while leaving long wet kisses along his neck. Draco had always prided himself of being in complete control of his emotions and reactions, but when Harry kissed his _neck_ something inside of his brain snapped and made him a complete mess. It just felt so unbelievably _good_.

"Yeah?" He panted, eyes closed and head to the side, allowing as much skin to be reachable to his lips and teeth. Every single bite made him pull a bit more at the sheets.

"Yes. Since the rain... I wanted to touch you right there" Harry pulled off his shirt, lowering his kissed all through his chest. There were scars there, that made him insecure but Harry just kissed them and made it all better. It was strange, feeling so vulnerable and insecure and _ugly_ and feeling desired at the same time. It was strange, and beautiful. He wondered if he was able to make Harry feel the same way.

" _Fuck_ "

"Romantic" Harry joked, biting over his bellybutton, and tugging his pants off. Draco moved to help him, but barely able to put two and two together. It felt just too good. When his pants were off, he sat to help Harry undress himself.

Draco was sure he was never going to get tired of seeing him naked. He didn't want to say how much he _loved_ his body, or how handsome he actually thought Harry was. Instead, he wanted to let him know that with his hands, and his kisses, and everything else.

Harry groaned when he started kissing his chest, both half sitting - half kneeling on the bed. They didn't have much room in a single bed, but they made it work. It wasn't the first time they had kissed and touched each other, and it wouldn't be the last. That single thought made goosebumps appear all over his skin, while he dug his fingernails on Harry's hips.

He wasn't going to let them go all the way, not there. It had to be special, it had to be important. It had to.

They kissed again, Harry pushing him down on the bed and placing himself on top of him. The pressure over his body felt good, fitting.

Draco kissed the space between his shoulder and neck, and three words died in his throat. He wanted to say it, he really did, but somehow he couldn't. It was fine -and he knew it was- because Harry knew how he felt, and he would be able to say it. Someday.

*

Harry had no idea what time it was, but he knew it was late. They had _fooled around_ for a while, kissing and touching each other everywhere. It was always incredible, and let him gasping for air and completely spent. It had taken incredibly focus not to fall asleep right after his orgasm, but it was worth staying awake to cuddle like this. Draco wasn't much of a cuddler, really, he would just turn around to sleep. Of course, Harry was sure he secretly loved to be held.

If he felt like this after just touching each other, how would he feel when they...? It both excited and terrified him.

They had placed the normal wards on the curtains around the bed, just in case Draco's roommates decided to come back before dawn.

Harry's mind wandered, feeling Draco in between his arms. How would it be when...? He smiled, pressing a kiss to Draco's shoulder.

"It would be nice" He whispered "to do this every night"

There was silence from the other boy for a while, until his hand reached for the one Harry had over his belly and held it.

"I have been thinking about what you proposed to me, Harry but... it's still a _no_ "

"I know... But I meant, like, in the future" He moved closer to Draco, snuggling a bit against his hair. The slytherin intertwined their fingers, and he felt his heart skip a beat. He hoped this wasn't too much. Offering to live together had clearly crossed a line and Harry was petrified at the thought of coming on too strong again. His brain kept telling him Draco would get tired of him eventually, and if he kept pushing, that would be sooner rather than later.

"It _would_ be nice" Draco answered, caressing the back of Harry's hand with his thumb "...but in a bigger bed, please"

Harry chuckled, shushing that annoying voice that told him he wasn't good enough to maintain this level of happiness in his life. "Of course you would want a bigger bed. Silk sheets too?"

"No, those feel weird" Harry couldn't quite see his face but he knew Draco was scrunching his nose. "I do want a fireplace in our room"

There was something silly and yet precious about saying these things, this future they both clearly were agreeing on. It made Harry close his eyes and feel like the world mattered, that it made sense. The numbness that was still there -would it ever go away?- had to leave when his mind thought of a future like that.

"Alright, big fireplace, twenty blankets. I'll sleep on the couch or burn alive"

Draco laughed "I'm not that susceptible to the cold"

"Aha"

"Am not!"

"If it makes you feel better" Harry knew he hadn't upset Draco, because he was chuckling with him. They hadn't had enormous fights anymore. Yes, some things were complicated and brought up uncomfortable discussions, but they hadn't tried to hurt each other in months. That was... Perfect, really.

"I think our bedroom should be upstairs"

Draco turned around, still between his arms and stared at his face. "Big house, I like that. Why upstairs?"

"Well, if an intruder gets inside it would give us time to... To..." Harry mumbled, looking down and pulling Draco closer to his body with his hands. It was automatic, thinking like that. Even when he tried not to, he would always be thinking ways to be safe, or to be as safe as possible. Sometimes he would catch himself finding every possible exit out of a room, and creating an escape plan inside his head. What was he expecting to happen? He wasn't sure, but his life was proof that something was always going to be lurking in the shadows.

"No one is going to get inside our home" Draco whispered, moving a hand to his face to make him look up. Harry swallowed, alright, maybe there wasn't someone out to get him anymore. "You'll be safe"

"I-... I don't know why I am like this" He said, feeling a weird shameful knot inside his chest "I'm not scared, I'm just..."

"I know" Draco's fingers touched his cheek very softly, and he gave two soft kisses to his lips. "So the bedroom is upstairs, what else?"

"Uhm, you don't think it's silly to...?"

"No" Draco closed his eyes but didn't pull back from the embrace "There's a guest room as well, because I imagine your friends are so invasive they would end up sleeping over quite often. To my dismay"

Harry smirked "They are not invasive, they are quite welcome... And don't act like yours wouldn't"

"They wouldn't be caught dead sleeping in a place that isn't a manor" They laughed and Draco then shrugged "I don't know, maybe they would like to stay sometimes. I... They are good people, my friends. I know I... It's just complicated to explain."

Harry nodded, his hair brushing against Draco's forehead.

Some minutes passed by, and their breathings became slow, so much so Harry almost believed he was asleep.

"I would like a big kitchen" He said in a low voice, eyes still closed.

"Really? Why?"

"Because you are going to teach me how to cook the muggle way, _obviously_ "

"Obviously"

Draco smirked, and moved a bit closer, cuddling against him. Harry was sure he was just reaching for his body heat.

"Do you know how to?"

"Yes, I used to cook for my aunt and uncle all the time"

"You did?" Draco opened his eyes, but didn't look at him, frowning very slightly "Then we'll have some house elf cook for us"

Harry chuckled "It's fine. I like cooking... And Hermione would kill me if I had a house elf. Unless he was... Properly employed"

There was a small _'hm'_ from the slytherin. Harry almost expected him to complain or say something mean about house elves. He didn't.

"Would it be just us...?" Draco's voice was barely a whisper and Harry had to focus to hear him.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean..." Draco moved to see him, propping his head on one of his hands. "would it be just us? Or, you know, uhm... Pets?"

"Hedwig would get jealous if I get another pet" Harry smirked, not looking away "And I'm not having peacocks like the ones in your manor"

Draco smiled and nodded "Boring birds, really"

"You weren't talking about pets, though. Were you?"

He didn't answer, barely shrugging one of his shoulders. Draco's smile faltered and Harry wanted to kiss him.

"What was I talking about then?"

Alright, Harry wasn't a hundred percent sure of this, but he had a hunch and he was too much of a Gryffindor to not pay attention to his own gut. "Children"

Draco swallowed but held his gaze, unmoving. So that was what he had meant to ask. Merlin's beard.

"Obviously not now"

"Do you want to?"

"I... Always assumed I would have at least one" Draco laid down on the bed again, face up this time and didn't stare at him. "But I honestly have no clue what I want"

"Yeah" Harry imitated his position, looking up into the dark room. "I never thought I would live long enough to even consider having one, but... I think it would be nice? Not now, but... In the future?"

He heard an affirmative noise next to him and moved his head to see Draco. At least he seemed relaxed. This seemed like an important talk, but somehow Harry didn't feel any pressure on himself.

"I used to sleep in a place like that closet you were at earlier, you know?"

Draco moved to be on his side, staring at him "Metaphorically?"

"No"

He saw Draco frown, and smiled, moving to match his posture. They were face to face again, and he felt so... Alive yet fragile.

"... Why?"

"They didn't... Like me. I had to occupy the least amount of space" Harry had always felt a small amount of shame from it, that with time had turned into anger, and now it was a mix of numbness and sorrow. He didn't know how to explain that the only place he had called 'home' had been a dusty cupboard under his aunt and uncle's stairs. He had been cold there, or almost suffocated during the summer and no one had cared. His sheets would be dirty for days or weeks without anyone batting an eye. Harry learnt how to take care for himself at a very young age, and it was fine, really. It had made him strong and capable of fending for himself. Or at least that's what he told himself.

"Did... Did you always...? All this time?"

"No, they gave me a room eventually"

Draco kept frowning, and there was something in his eyes.

"Who knew about this?"

"Uh, why? No one. I mean... I don't know"

Draco pressed an elbow against the mattress and held his head a bit, staring at him. "Did the teachers know? Your friends? Any _adults_?"

Harry shrugged again, not wanting to go down that path. He had hoped and wished for someone, anyone, to take him away from that horrible place - and it had happened, partially- but sometimes it still hurt to think people could have done something, done more, but hadn't.

"It doesn't matter anymore"

"Of course it matters! I... I..." Draco bit down on his lip,  and Harry wondered if he was trying not to say something bad. "They should've done something"

"Draco, please, it's fine" Harry forced a laugh, trying to look relaxed.

"Let me hex them, please"

"No. They are... It's complicated. I don't want to think about the past anymore"

Draco groaned but let go of his head, laying down next to him, his grey eyes focused on his own. "I don't know if Grimmauld has cupboards underneath its stairs but if it does we will take them all off"

Harry laughed, sincerely this time "That's not necessary. The cupboard wasn't-"

Draco placed a hand over his mouth "Don't say it. Just... Don't lie right now"

Harry nodded, and felt his mouth freed again. Without looking away from the slytherin, he moved closer, trying to keep his breathing calm. Had he always been pretending? Around everyone? He knew when things weren't right, of course he knew, and he knew how families were supposed to love each other and he had no idea what had made  him so unlovable. Still, he had shrugged it off, tried not to focus on it, or simply never spoken about it in front of anyone else. It was too painful.

Had Draco seen all that? Did he know how it felt? To any extent? He closed his eyes, a hand on Draco's back, pulling him close to his body.

It felt liberating not having to lie or be fine for everyone else's sake.

"I should be comforting you tonight, not the other way around"

Draco pulled him closer, laying on his back so Harry could rest his head on his chest. He closed his eyes, hearing the steady heartbeat right under his ear.

"You don't owe me anything" Draco's hand was drawing slow unidentified shapes on his waist, right over his waistband. "Alright?" Harry could only nod, pressing himself against him a bit more, lacing their legs together. "Besides, I feel much better"

"Hm"

Harry didn't move, but something ran through his chest when he felt a kiss on the top of his head. "I didn't know you were like this"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I always thought... I mean, I never thought about you in this way but I mean, I..."

Draco chuckled "Your point?"

"Well, I always thought that you were cold and, I don't know, closed off?"

"Oh, I think you thought worse than that"

Harry moved to see his face "I thought you were arrogant, cruel and spoilt. So, yeah. But I mean... I assumed you were different with your friends or family, but I always assumed you would be cold _at best_ "

Draco didn't seem bothered by that, but was staring intently into his eyes "Am I living up to the expectations?"

"You are not how I thought you would be... And you won't like what I have to say but... You are _sweet_ , Draco"

"You are right, I don't like what you have to say"

Harry shrugged, resting a hand on his chest, over one of his scars. It was thin like a paper cut, almost fading against the white skin.

"I still think you are a snob, but yeah"

Draco groaned and closed his eyes, his arms still around him, fingers caressing his skin very softly, almost absent-mindedly. "Don't worry, I won't spread it around"

"You better not"

Harry kissed his chest, and moved to look at him a bit better, placing his hands on either side of him. This new position got him a bit on top of Draco, but the blond didn't seem to mind. He didn't even open his eyes.

"it's not a bad thing, Draco"

"It-..." He sighed "I don't... That's not what I was taught, I guess. I don't like being vulnerable"

Harry leaned in, kissing him very softly. The other boy kissed back, and for a couple moments nothing else mattered in the whole world. Harry could understand why Draco didn't want to be vulnerable, he felt the same way sometimes.

"I know" There wasn't anything else he could say. What good would it do to say he was sure Draco had no problem being vulnerable around him? He didn't want the slytherin to shut him out, or start hiding things. "You are sweet, though"

Draco groaned, hiding his face underneath the pillow and pressing his hands to it, as if trying to suffocate himself. He laughed, trying to pull at the pillow to uncover his face. "It's not a bad thing! I like it"

At that, Draco loosened his grip on the pillow and stared at him. "You do?"

"Yeah"

Draco seemed at a loss, but after a few seconds, he smirked. "You sap"

"Oi!" Harry stole the pillow from one of his hands and slapped his side with it, chuckling as well. Draco laughed this time, moving away from him but unable to get away -unless he wanted to fall off the bed.

Harry sat back, resting his back on the bed's frame. It _would_ be nice, to be able to have this every night and to wake up to him every morning. He didn't know if other boys felt like this at his age, but he had never been normal, had he?

He thought about his parents, how in love they had been when they left Hogwarts. Perhaps this was like that. Either way, Harry had started to feel they were a team.

"I don't want this year to end" Draco whispered, laying down, eyes closed.

Harry didn't want the school year to end. Well, he _did,_ but he didn't want to be leave him. What would they do then? He tried not to think about it, but an uneasiness filled around his heart, making his heartbeats more difficult and painful.

"It'll be fine" He whispered, but he felt as if he was lying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the chapter! ;)


	22. Chapter 22

"You just need to focus"

The morning was breaking all around them. The sun turning the leaves golden, birds singing and flying above. There even was a bit of dampness in the air from the night's dew. After everything that had happened, the days flew by. Harry had no idea how exam week had come so fast, which meant that they only had a week and a couple days to be together. Once all the tests were done, they would get their grades and be done with school. It felt strange _actually_ finishing school. He tried not to think what would happen once they left.

Harry had always found strange how people went back to their everyday lives after something bad happened. He imagined no one ever truly stopped unless something bad happened to _them_. He recalled the whole world acting as if nothing had happened after Cedric's death. Or Sirius'. Not everyone, of course, but those who weren't involved? It was like they didn't even know what had happened, like they didn't care.

And this time _he_ was one of those people. He had been worried about Bea for a couple days, until her parents took her off the school to take care of her. And he had cared about Elliot, really, but they had never been friends. So after a couple weeks everyone went back to their usual schedules, sharing a simple _'hi'_ from time to time. Harry tried not to feel too guilty about it, about not caring more. About not talking to McGongall to be sure everything was fine with the school. About not thinking about the whole auror thing.

"I can't do this" Draco frowned, wand in hand. Given that it was exam week, and what they had done, the teachers had allowed Draco to keep it after class. Which meant Harry could finally try and teach him how to make a Patronus.

Harry had heard people say he was a good teacher, and he took pride in that, but Draco was really... _difficult._

"Alright, what are you thinking about?"

Draco shrugged, moving his brown and black wand in one hand before sitting on a small tree that had clearly fallen during a storm.

They weren't too deep into the forbidden forest, trying to be careful, but that was the only place where they could practice without interruptions.

The Castle was more than aware of their relationship, and they had had a couple of nasty interactions. Harry knew Draco was the one enduring the worst, with most of the Slytherins whispering about it. Not only that, but the blond had no idea what his parents were going to say about this. They hadn't written a single word to him. Harry could only imagine how that uncertainty must feel like.

No one had tried to hit them or anything like that, but they had had a couple nasty fights. It wasn't easy to hear slurs directed at him -and somehow it was worse when they were aimed at Draco-, but they had found that not everyone was against them or their relationship. And the papers had no clue, _thank Merlin._

"I was thinking about..." Draco shrugged again, clearly not wanting to share.

Harry sat next to him. They were both tired, waking up at five in the morning to try and train a bit before everyone got up was... exhausting. But it was worth it.

"You can tell me"

"About this time when I was seven or eight years old" Draco didn't look at him "I was sick, had a fever... shivers and everything. Mother and Father stayed with me all night. I-... They had never done anything like that"

Harry placed a hand on his leg, trying to soothe him. It seemed like a nice memory but... "You look sad talking about it"

"Yeah"

"It's supposed to be a happy memory?"

"It is a happy memory" Draco bit down on his lip and looked at Harry "Or it was. Before everything changed so much... I think I don't have a happiest memory, Harry"

"Of course you do" Harry smiled and put a little pressure on his knee "It doesn't have to be the absolute _happiest_ memory, just a good one"

Draco looked back at him, almost at a loss. It was hard seeing him like this, disconnected from his emotions. Harry was sure he had more than one good, happy memory, but somehow Draco seemed unable to find them.

"I know you will be able to do this, you just need to...connect with your emotions. Alright?"

"That's rich coming from you"

Harry rolled his eyes "Listen, you don't get to lash out at me because you are failing, okay?"

There was a groan, and Harry got up from the tree trunk. They would have to go back inside sooner rather than later.

"It's fine, I don't need a Patronus"

"But I want to see what it looks like! Come on, try it one more time?"

Draco pressed his lips into a thin white line and then nodded, looking hesitantly at his wand. He closed his eyes, concentrating as much as he could. It was hard seeing him fail every time, but at least they were making... some sort of progress.

Harry said nothing, giving him space. When he flicked his wand, a small white-ish glow appeared, but nothing formed. Draco opened his eyes, and groaned. He was clearly annoyed, upset even.

"You have been jumpy all week. Is something wrong?"

Draco didn't answer, putting his wand away, already tired of trying and failing. Harry was sure he was going to be able to produce a Patronus, but he didn't know how long it would take. A month? Two? Perhaps it wouldn't happen until Draco got a memory that made him feel truly happy.

"Nothing is wrong. Let's go back, I have to practice for potions. It's tomorrow, you know?"

Yeah, Harry did know. In fact, it was all he had heard the blond talk about for days. He knew how important it was for the slytherin, but still, he had been jumpy all week and Harry had no clue why.

They walked back in a comfortable silence, despite their little moment before. With each day, Harry realized how right they were for the other.

Finding a way to be together and still be who they were had been tricky, but they had agreed on having at least one meal alone together per week, and the rest of the days they would take turns dining on the Gryffindor or Slytherin table. The nights were equally complicated, with Draco wanting to abide by the rules and have them sleeping on their separate beds. Some nights were different though, and they found their way into each others' arms. Those were Harry's favorites.

"See you later?"

"Of course" Draco looked around, more anxious than usual but forced a smile "See you"

They didn't kiss, because they didn't want to draw more attention to each other. Harry knew that he was being a bit of a coward, but they were living with other hundred students that might make their lives miserable if given the chance.

School wouldn't last forever, and Harry was sure they would be better at the whole 'public displays of affection' once everything settled down.

With not much to do, and a grumbling stomach, he walked to the Great Hall for breakfast. Draco was surely back in the library or down in the dungeons trying to brew some potions or whatever he did to prepare for that horrible class.

"I am starving" He said, and sat down next to his friends with a smile. Both Hermione and Ron were extremely pleased with how he was behaving lately and... He was as well. Nothing had changed, not really, but perhaps all he needed was time. Time to heal.

"So? How did it go?"

Harry shook his head in response "No luck"

"Ha! Ginny owes me two galleons"

"You are... No, I won't ask"

Hermione smiled "They are also betting on what his Patronus will be. Ron thinks it will be a ferret"

Harry laughed, almost choking with a little piece of bread. His friends could be ridiculous when they wanted to. He swallowed some pumpkin juice, and stared at them "I think it'll be a cat"

Ron arched an eyebrow "That's boring"

"I can see it, but..." Hermione said, thoughtful "How about a lioness?"

Harry had no clue what they were on about, hell, he didn't quite understand how a stag related to himself. He knew it was the same as his dad's so... Maybe he was like his dad, despite everything? It was a bittersweet thought.

"You are weird, Hermione" Ron, blunt as always.

"Those are fierce, proud animals!"

"Eh, I don't see it. Ginny bets on a doe" Ron gave Harry a look "Because your Patronus is a stag, and you know how your dad was a stag and then your mom was..."

"Yeah, I get the idea, Ron" Harry tried not to smirk "I don't think his Patronus is a doe. Wait, is everyone betting on this?"

Ron nodded "Neville can't decide on an animal"

Oh, Merlin. Harry was sure Draco already knew about this -he had his sources of information-, but perhaps that's why he was so jumpy lately?

Their breakfast resumed its usual rhythm, or at least the one it used to have before the war. They ate and talked and laughed. It was strange seeing Ron and Hermione together. He had always been a supporter of his friends, and known this is how they were going to end up. But still, weird.

"How's Ginny?" Harry finally asked, looking at Hermione for answers. It was one thing being friends, but it was another trying to be friends with someone that had feelings for him, someone he had probably hurt.

"She's good" His friend smiled, and shrugged very slightly "She's getting over you"

"Hm" Ron nodded "You not being with my sister is one of those really, really good th-... Ouch, Hermione!" they shared a look and then Ron smiled, relaxed "I'm just joking. But it all turned out for the better. Well, just not for you, mate, you have to _kiss_ him"

Harry tried not to laugh at his friends' face "Yeah, I _have_ to"

Hermione rolled her eyes in a way that said 'boys' and Harry felt his heart expand inside his chest. He loved his friends so much. They were the only family he would ever know.

"So" Hermione said, giving him a curious glance "anything planned for tomorrow?"

Harry had no clue what she was talking about. They had the potions test and then a couple hours to prepare for the Charms one and...

"Harry, you forgot?"

"I... Guess?"

Ron snorted but didn't comment further, allowing his girlfriend to explain.

"Tomorrow is Draco's birthday. June fifth?"

Harry wanted to crawl under the table and die. How had he...? He felt a pang of guilt on his belly and nodded. He wasn't sure if he had ever heard the exact date. Of course he knew Draco's birthday was on June, and he knew it would be during exam week but... He got distracted. Harry bit down on his lip, his mind racing, trying to find a suitable gift for him. But in such short notice... And they still had two tests the next day, and even more the day after. Harry wasn't stupid, he knew how important his education was to Draco, he knew he couldn't just offer to go off to spend the day somewhere else or anything like that.

"Uhm... Help?"

Ron placed a hand on his shoulder "Mate, thank you. Now I'm not the only one that forgets birthdays"

"We've known Hermione for almost eight years!"

"I have a bad memory!"

Harry chuckled, but still felt uneasy. He turned to his other friend, hoping to find some good advice.

"The next weekend is the last trip to Hogsmeade, maybe you two can do something then?"

That was a brilliant idea, he would have time to prepare something special and he could tell Draco about it earlier to not look like a horrible boyfriend.

"He didn't say anything to you about this?"

"No" Harry frowned, what if Draco didn't want him finding out about his birthday? It was crazy. There was no reason to hide something like that. Especially considering they would... Be together for a long time, right? They were both bound to know each other's birthday, and possibly every single skeleton they kept in their closets. Oh, boy. Sometimes the weight of having a relationship struck him, but not in a bad way. Not exactly. It was almost as if something in his head said: _you have someone now_ , _you need to keep that in mind_. It was frightening, feeling like someone would be there for him always. He had always pictured himself living alone, not knowing what love was or what family felt like. Not knowing what it was to have someone to hold him accountable for his actions.

"Maybe you should ask if he wants to do something first"

Harry nodded, absentmindedly.

**

"How did it go?"

Elliot huffed, sitting down next to his friend. They had had their History of Magic exam and neither of them seemed too pleased about it. He really disliked that one, and felt stupid every time he tried to remember what he read on the books but was unable to. There were other classes were he was quite good, like Defense or Quidditch.

"Not good"

Noah nodded and elbowed him very slightly "I'm sure it'll be fine"

Yeah, he wasn't so sure about it. Not only was he not good at this assignment, but something had been on his mind for days. The whole school had been gossiping about Harry and Malfoy, incessantly and even though Elliot tried to tone it out, it was impossible not to hear what it was being said.

Yes, a lot of it was just ignorant, but Elliot could see most people were curious. Regardless of that, it was almost as if something shook inside of him. A need to come clean, to own up to his own feelings. He didn't want to lose a good friend, hell, his _best friend_ but if he kept bottling everything up he was going to explode. And, well, he didn't like to feel like a coward compared _to Malfoy._

"Uh, I kind of... wanted to talk to you" Elliot said, barely raising his voice above the murmur in the Hall. They were sitting in the Hufflepuff table. Where to sit had never been a problem for them, not really. They would dine at Hufflepuff's or Slytherin's and if anyone had a problem with it then fuck them.

"About?" Noah drank something out of a goblet, and Elliot assumed it was pumpkin juice. He wanted some, suddenly, for his throat had gone dry.

"Just... something"

"Are you alright?" His friend turned slightly on the wooden bench, trying to look into his eyes. Elliot could see how worried he was.

"Yeah. I just... Uh, I thought... Well, I wanted to ask-"

Noah raised an eyebrow "Yeah?"

"You don't have to say yes, and I know what you... Uh. I just thought we could... go out, sometime..." His heart was burning and pounding inside his chest, it hurt. It hurt terribly, but it couldn't be any worse, right? He knew what he was going to hear. Noah was going to say no, and he was going to be polite about it, because he was a good friend. Deep down, Elliot was sure this was going to fuck up their friendship, to fuck up everything.

"Go out? We always go out"

Ah, fuck.

"As in... like a date"

Noah seemed completely surprised, both eyebrows raised and a small 'o' for a mouth. Elliot wasn't someone who would blush or hide or anything like that, but right now he felt like cowering underneath the table. He wasn't sure if anyone else was eavesdropping in their chat, but he didn't care. Not really. He -they, actually- had never been too social. It had always been both of them against, well, the world.   

The absolute worst part of it all was that he had heard Noah say how he liked _girls_ over and over, and he wasn't fine with it. Yeah, he had told himself he was and that it didn't matter but truth was he liked him so, _so_ much. And the idea of not even having a shot was...

"You and me? You are asking _me_ out?"

Noah moved slightly back, almost as if he was trying to stare at him completely.

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

Why? Elliot had a lot of reasons. The simple answer was: _I like you, I've liked you for years._ The longer answer was something along the lines of: _you are the bravest, most caring person I know. You've been there for me, always. I wouldn't have been able to survive the war without you, you know this. You know how much I care about you. I would cut my own arm for you to be happy. And I don't know what to do. I don't want you to see me and hate me, I don't want our friendship to go to hell. You are the only one that sees any good in me._

"I-... Well, I-"

"Elliot, is this some sort of prank?"

"What? No. No, I would never"

Noah pressed his lips into a thin line, frowning very slightly. He didn't look angry, but he seemed confused. "Then why?"

"I... I like you" It was but a whisper.

"But you've never liked-... I always thought you were... I-"

Elliot breathed in and then out, alright, he had to stop this before it got worse. "It's fine, Noah. It's okay if you say no. I know you like Bea, and all of that and-... I get it" He looked down to his own hands, he hadn't noticed he was squeezing his own fingers trying to find his words.

"I would love to"

"What?" His head shot up, almost as surprised as Noah had been moments before. He couldn't understand, his brain wasn't fast enough to even... What? _What?_

"I said I would love to go out with you sometime"

Elliot wanted to speak, but instead he kept quiet, staring at him. "Are _you_ pranking _me_?"

"No" His face relaxed and he smiled, very softly "I do like women, but you assumed I _only_ like girls, you know?"

Oh.

"Ah"

Elliot had no idea what to say, and he couldn't even move from where he was. Was he supposed to kiss him? No. _No_ , that would be rushed.

"A date would be great"

"You are not mad?"

Noah chuckled "Why would I be mad?"

"Because we are friends"

"Yeah, so?" He shrugged and placed a hand over Elliot's. "If it doesn't work out, we will still be friends. But if it does... it... it could be great"

"Yeah, it could be" Elliot whispered, moving his hand to hold his'. There was a brief moment when neither of them spoke, holding the other's hand and trying to calm down. He wasn't sure if Noah _liked him_ or if he was just giving this a shot. But it was enough. It was more than enough.

And Elliot wasn't going to fuck this up. He wasn't.

***

"Hey Draco, wait-" Harry had to grab his arm to stop him. The slytherin was in a rush, walking towards the dungeons. He had tried to find him for the longest of time with no luck since they day before. It was incredible how much Draco could sneak around. True, Harry could've used the map, but he had promised Draco he wouldn't be a creepy stalker anymore.

"What?"

"Slow down for one second" He moved a bit closer, holding onto his arm. Draco wasn't the only one rushing, the rest of the students seemed in a frenzy. Exam week was no joke and everyone was on edge. Well, Harry felt more calm than he had been the whole year so... yeah.

"What? Potter, I can't be late for Potions... And shouldn't you be coming with me anyways? Come on, let's walk"

Harry almost rolled his eyes, and didn't move. "I just wanted to ask you out"

Draco seemed to stop and look at him "Ask me out? We are already dating, Potter, what do you want?" He seemed impatient, and Harry sighed.

Alright. He would have to say it in the middle of the corridor and he wasn't sure if Draco was going to like it, but he would have to deal with it. "Harry birthday, Draco"

The blond was completely taken by surprise, unable to speak. His arms were limp at his sides and he looked at him. Had he thought he didn't know? Or, worse, did he believe Harry had forgotten?

Alright, the last one was true, but he had it under control.

"Thank you, Harry. Now, can we go?"

He started walking with him down the corridor, accepting his defeat. But this didn't mean he wouldn't talk to him all the way to the dungeons.

"Do you want to go to Hogsmeade before we all have to go home? I thought it could be nice. We could have dinner and spend the night?"

"Sure"

Harry tried not to chuckle. There was a small smile on Draco's lips, but he was clearly too focused on his Potion's exam to even care about what was going on around him. Merlin, Harry really hoped he got that Outstanding he so wanted.

They had talked about _his_ future, but not much about what Draco was going to do after school was done. Of course he couldn't just go and start on a job or further is education, at least not for a whole year. So that gave him some time to think about it.

Deep down, Harry hoped Draco would choose something on his own, and not something his parents' chose for him. He had the right to do whatever he wanted to do for the rest of his life. Something that brought him joy.

Harry followed him to the Potions' classroom, dreading the test. Even though he really tried -and studied- he wasn't a very good student. He got good grades, but it wasn't _outstanding_ and something deep inside wondered if the times he got _excellent_ grades was due to his abilities or due to his name.

He looked over to Draco, who seemed incredibly tense while staring at his cauldron. They hadn't even started and the Slytherin was already inside his own head. Harry wanted to reach out and say something, but he knew that that would only piss him off, or perhaps make his nervousness worse, so he kept quiet. He hoped it would go good for Draco. He really did.

*

The weekend arrived sooner than anyone expected, it was almost as if in the rush of the exams the week had flown by and they had all lost a few good days of sleep. Hermione was extremely calm, more than he had ever seen her in years during those periods. He felt the same. How could he be stressed about something as mundane as a grade on a piece of paper? He had seen people die. If everyone was alive by the end of the week, it was a victory.

Draco, on the other hand, had been quite stressed. After all, he was the one that had quite on the line if he did poorly on school. People would be looking at him with distrust and most places on the Ministry simply wouldn't hire him. Harry wanted to say that he didn't understand that, but he did. Draco _had_ changed, but a lot of Death Eaters hadn't.

They had shared kisses and some moments during the rest of the week, but it hadn't been enough. Luckily that weekend was the last Hogsmeade trip and they had already decided to have diner there. Harry wanted for them to spend the night there, but it would take some sneaking around. Nothing too difficult, considering teachers and students slept late on the weekends.

"I'm starving" Draco said, walking next to him and looking relaxed. There were bags under his eyes but they had both been worse.

"Me too, I really want some pumpkin pie before going back home"

Going home. That was something they didn't talk about. They would get their results on Monday or Tuesday and then they would all be going back home. Harry would go to Grimmauld Place, and Draco would go to his home in France to do the rest of his house arrest. It sucked. Harry wanted to say something, to ask him _again_ to go with him but he knew the blond wouldn't give in.

"Why? You can eat pumpkin pie whenever you want to"

Harry chuckled "Muggles don't really eat that"

"So? You are not a muggle"

He tried not to roll his eyes, but... at the same time Draco was right, so he said nothing. Harry wanted to hold his hand, but they were walking in between a lot of students and other people. It was better if they didn't, so instead he locked his little finger to Draco's. He didn't say anything, but Harry could see a small curve on his lips.

They walked straight to The Three Broomsticks, which unfortunately for them, was packed. There was a loud buzzing from all the chatter, it was quite uncomfortable but... he was sure they were going to be able to deal with it once they found a place to sit.

Harry tried to find an empty table, pushing through and trying not to feel out of breath. Big crowds were a problem, even when said crowds were sitting and minding their own business.

"Let's go somewhere else" Draco said, walking beside him and barely touching his arm. The other two places to eat were... Not ideal. One of them was way too pink and cheesy and the other one wasn't, well, nice.

"No, I think I see an empty table" He pointed, and he was right. Right at the back, there was a round table with no one occupying it. And even if it was reserved, Harry was sure he would be able to convince Rosmerta to let them dine there.

When they were a few steps away, a boy from the table next to it got up and occupied one of the empty seats. He smiled at them, raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, this one's taken"

"No, it's not" Draco said, standing next to him and glaring at the Ravenclaw student. People around them were starting to get uncomfortable, throwing glances at them and trying to ignore what was going on.

" _Yup_ , it is. So get lost"

Harry knew Draco was furious, he could feel how tense he was. It was true that Draco didn't want to do anything special for his birthday, but he had managed to convince him to have dinner together and he wasn't about to let some fight fuck that up. Damn it. Even though he wanted to say a few things to the kid, he pulled at Draco's sleeve, giving him a look.

"Let's just go"

"What? Potter, no-"

"It's better this way" He nodded once, keeping their eyes locked. Truth was, the other student had nothing to lose, but if they got into a fight... Worse that could happen to Harry was a nasty piece on The Prophet, but the worst that could happen to Draco was a year long stay at Azkaban. He wouldn't allow it, of course, but it could come to pass if some  ignorant kid accused him of any sort of violence.

Before any of them could say a word, a figure appeared behind them, staring at the whole commotion.

"What's going on here?" Madame Rosmerta asked, annoyed.

The Ravenclaw shrugged, still occupying the empty table, but turned to talk to his friends sitting next to him.

"Nothing, we were leaving"

She gave Harry a soft smile and placed a hand on his shoulder "Come on, follow me"

There was no fondness towards Draco but it was fine, Harry couldn't expect everyone to treat him how he did. It would take time, but they would get there and the whole world would see how incredible Malfoy truly was.

They walked with her back to the kitchen, where she stood with her hands on her hips, giving them a look. Harry realized he had no idea if she had children or a husband or, well, a wife.

She definitely looked at them like a worried and irritated mother about to yell at her two children, though.

"I have no tolerance for violence in my establishment"

"We weren't... Doing anything" Harry said, tense. "That guy was being a-... Difficult"

"I can kick him out, darling, just tell me what he said"

Draco crossed his arms and then shrugged "He said nothing"

"Nothing? It all felt pretty tense back there"

"He didn't want us to have the table, that's all"

"And why on Earth would he do that?"

Harry had an idea why, but instead he simply shrugged. Draco didn't answer either.

Something must have moved her, because she nodded a couple times and then gave a few orders to the cooks. She didn't have as many house elves as Harry would've expected.

"I'll give you something to eat, the night is lovely... I'm sure you'll find a nice place to eat darlings"

Draco looked at her, confusion written all over his face. He probably wasn't used to people doing kind things for him without expecting anything in return. Harry only smiled back, feeling a bit bad for not being able to plan a better date.

Rosmerta gave them a basket with four carefully wrapped packages and two beverages. Harry wasn't exactly sure what they were but they definitely smelled good.

"Go on now, or it will get cold"

"Thank you, Ma'am"

She smiled again and made a small 'tsk' sound with her tongue, looking around. Noise came from the front of the pub, but everything seemed to be in order. Rosmerta made them a small 'wait' sign, before talking to one of her employees. When she came back to them, she seemed pleased.

"There's a table outside for you both, go on now"

Draco uncrossed his arms, staring at her. "Thank you" It was strange seeing him say that to a complete stranger with such honesty, and Harry suspected Rosmerta found it exactly as weird as he did, because she nodded with an amused smile on her lips.

"Oh! I almost forgot" she rummaged in one of her pockets and produced a simple bronze key "The room you requested, Harry. Hopefully most of the people will be gone by the time you get back"

He nodded, trying very hard not to blush. They were going to spend the night in Hogsmeade and the Three Broomsticks was the only good choice. It didn't have the fancier rooms or anything, but Rosmerta was incredibly reliable and he knew she wouldn't go around telling Skeeter or anyone about what he was doing there. Or who he was spending the night with.

The back of the building was deserted, but well lit, the area probably used by employees to take breaks or dine. A small table with two chairs was set up for them, and even if it wasn't fancy, it looked nice.

They sat next to each other, unwrapping the food. He didn't know what to say, he had tried to give him a good day and... Failed.

"That was unfair, you know?"

Harry swallowed "Yeah?" he didn't know what he was talking about. Did he mean how much the day had sucked? Or did he mean the whole argument?

"Us having to seat out here just because those _complete_ -"

"Why do you think they did that?"

Draco shrugged, but his hand reached across the table, holding his'. "Why do you think?"

Harry groaned, but squeezed his hand a bit. "You really think that? Just for this?"

"Yes. Think about it... I'm sure disliking _you_ wasn't popular _before_ , but now? They have a reason to hate you. They don't really need a reason to hate me but this helps. If we were nobodies it wouldn't be so obvious, I suppose"

That made sense, and Harry felt the need to go back inside and scream to those kids. But he didn't. Somehow, spending time with Draco was better. He had to admit he enjoyed the peace and quiet of being alone, even if it was unfair.

He ran his thumb over the back of Draco's hand for a moment or two, before helping him unwrap everything and place the food on some little paper plates. It wasn't fancy but Draco didn't comment.

"You got your pumpkin pie"

Harry smiled, and nodded. He really wasn't picky about what he ate, his life had taught him that you have to eat what you have and be grateful for it, because there might not be anything the next day.

"Want to share?"

"Nah, I'm fine" Draco smiled, picking a sandwich apart. Harry had noticed how he did that, sometimes it meant he wasn't hungry but other times it was a way to eat less than what he was served.

"Do you not like the food?"

"No, I do" He smiled "I'm just... " He sighed, running a hand through his hair "Sorry, I shouldn't let them get to me"

"Yeah, you really shouldn't"

Draco rolled his eyes and kicked him under the table. It wasn't done with any malice, so he laughed as well.

"I just want to be left alone..."

Harry knew exactly how he felt, but he didn't have a solution. "Me too" He was about to say something when Draco started eating, so he guessed he had said the right thing, or helped in some way. So he decided to do the same and eat. After all, they were there to enjoy themselves, not to focus on what other people thought of them.

The table was set behind the Three broomsticks, the employees had set up some lights on the wall behind them so they could see. It was private and nicer than Harry had expected. In fact, he felt quite comfortable out there, just the two of them and no noise around them.

"Oh, look" Draco said, before taking a sip from his drink and looking past behind Harry's head.

"What?"

Harry had no clue what he was looking, until he pointed. Harry turned around on his chair, staring up at the dark sky. One of the beautiful things about the wizarding world was the lack of electricity, which made the night sky with all its stars easy to see.

"My constellation, right there"

"Oh, _your_ constellation, huh?"

"Oh, shut up" Draco smirked, moving his chair to sit next to him, and pointing at a group of stars. Harry had never had the time to sit around and look up at the stars, but he could imagine old wizards having nothing else to do. He tried to follow Draco's finger and see the shape, but to him it looked like a weird rhomboid figure and then more stars down like... a tail?

"I think I... get it?"

Draco chuckled and looked at him "It's like the head and the body, like... I don't know. Mom always told me how to find it"

Harry smiled, he really liked to hear all those things. He wasn't sure if Draco realized how sweet all of that was. His mother -at least- seemed to love him dearly.

"What else did she tell you about it?"

"You can see it all year, but it's better during the Summer because then it seems like its eyes are staring right at you"

Harry grimaced "Cool, but creepy"

"Menacing, huh?"

There was a small chuckle and Draco elbowed him "Most of the Blacks are named after a constellation or a star, aren't they? My godfather, your aunts... Is Narcissa a constellation?"

"No" Draco bit down on his lip "She was the youngest and I don't know what happened there... but she followed tradition with me"

"What's the Malfoys tradition?" Harry stared at him, and a wicked grin spread on Draco's face.

"It's whatever I say"

"Oh really?"

"Well I'm the heir, right? At least for now" He looked straight into his green eyes and shrugged "I would like to name my kid after a star or a constellation" He looked up again, the darkness of the night making his eyes look dark as well "I think it's... nice. To be able to look up and see it, up there"

Harry didn't look up at the sky, he kept his eyes on his face, trying to find something he didn't like... he failed.

"Do you want to call it a night? I'm... not hungry right now"

Draco nodded, getting up from the table and looking at all the half eaten food. "Please, tidy up"

With a groan, he used his wand to make everything fold back into their packages and into the basket. He would make sure to pay Rosmerta later, and give her the biggest tip he could afford. She had been really good to him. To them.

They took the door right at the back, trying as hard as they could not to be seen while they went up the stairs and into their room. Harry wasn't sure, but he hadn't felt watched.

There was nothing special inside the room this time. Harry hadn't had time to prepare anything with all the studying from the pasts week but Draco didn't seem to care. The slytherin moved to turn on the fireplace, stealing Harry's wand. While he did that, Harry closed the window _and_ the blinds, just in case.

He turned to see Draco, standing next to the fireplace in the middle of the room. There was silence for a brief moment, before they found their way to each other. Harry placed his hands on his hips, kissing him passionately. He could feel Draco pulling at his hair while they kissed, and it only made him want to kiss him harder.

Harry's back hit one of the walls, tilting one of the paintings, almost making it fall from its hook. His hands found his shirt and started unbuttoning it as fast as he could. Without breaking the kiss, Draco did the same. When he placed his hands on Draco's face, they were both already getting rid of their shoes, just stepping out of them.

Draco pushed him backwards, lips still locked, trying to get to the bed that felt more inviting than ever.

The kissing became less frantic the moment they touched the bed. It became slow, careful, both of them knowing there was no reason to hurry. They had taken their shirts off already, but there was too much clothes on them still. Harry had never felt so excited and nervous about something before, he wanted this to be perfect, memorable, something they would look back on years from now.

Draco started kissing his neck and he pressed both his hands to his waist, pulling their bodies closer, wanting more, needing more. He allowed himself to moan, feeling safe in there with him. The sound that came from Draco in response was all the reward he needed.

This time the light wasn't turned off and they were over the covers, but Harry didn't know if it would stay that way. Truth be told, he had a lot of questions about it, he was acting solely on impulse and instinct.

Harry moved, grabbing Draco's face with his hands, to kiss him deeply. It was easy to get lost in a kiss, and forget about his inexperience.

"Do you want to?" He found himself asking, hands on Draco's waistband. He definitely wanted to have him naked again, but he wasn't sure if the blond wanted to have sex or not.

"Yes" Draco's hand pulled his hair back, while they stared into each other's eyes. "Think you can open my trousers this time?"

Harry groaned, pressing his face to the space in between his neck and shoulder. Zippers were fine, but buttons and belt buckles? They were impossible to undo with one hand!

Draco laughed, but it was a sweet type of laugh and held him against himself. "Here, I'll help you"

Harry nodded, and went back to kissing him. But not on the lips. He started on his neck, feeling him swallow and hold in a breath. There was something beautiful in the way Draco reacted to being touched, something that made him want to devour him. Harry bit softly at the skin under Draco's collarbone, pulling it in between his teeth. He wasn't sure if that would leave a mark, but he didn't care and the way Draco was undoing both of their pants told him he didn't care either.

He moved his hips to pull it off, helping Draco get rid of his as well.

"Fuck, you are beautiful" Harry spoke without even thinking about it, because he told what he felt was true.

Draco's cheeks were pink, but he didn't know if it was because of his comment, or from their kissing.

He almost wanted to say something else, but Draco kissed him, pressing their bodies so much that he could feel every single part of their bodies touch. They were hard already, and Harry knew he was going to last much longer than their first time touching. After all, they had been fooling around for... Months now.

His hands wandered over Draco's body, touching and pressing all those little places he knew so well by now. Draco was doing the same, of course, driving him insane with the way he dragged his fingernails over his skin. Or the way he kissed right over his nipple, licking it after. It drove him insane in the best way possible.

Draco moved a hand down his belly, reaching towards his cock but he stopped him.

"Wait, how-...?"

Draco looked up at him, looking as disheveled as he surely was. He didn't want to panic, but he was about to.

The slytherin sat up on the bed and reached out for his wand, using it to dim out the lights in the room. He moved closer to him, holding them close together and pressed his face to his neck. They were both incredibly aroused and Harry was going to feel incredibly guilty if he ruined the mood.

"Don't think"

"But..." Harry wasn't stupid, he knew _how_ it was supposed to happen, but he had no clue who would do what and it made him a bit scared.

"Shh" Draco reached for him, kissing him softly, a hand on his cheek and another on his hip. He pulled Harry slowly on top of him, his hand leaving his cheek to tangle on his black hair.

Harry knew that was an answer, and he would lie if he said it didn't surprise him a little bit. But instead of saying anything, he leaned in, taking Draco's lips with his own, kissing for as long as it was humanly possible. His teeth pulled at his lower lip, making him moan.

Harry had no doubts in his mind, he knew what he wanted and he had it right there, in between his arms. It was true that he was inexperienced, but he wasn't completely ignorant. He had heard other boys talking about it -and girls too, sometimes- so he knew the basics and the rest was instinct. Besides, it wasn't difficult to know where to touch when Draco made those lovely sounds.

He reached for his wand, feeling Draco's kisses all over one of his collarbones. Merlin, it felt so good.

"You okay?" Harry asked, using his wand to create a small amount of lubricant over his hand.

"Yes"

Harry kissed him, pressing himself against him a little bit more, while his hand found his way in between Draco's legs. They were still touching and kissing, but it was much slower, much more intimate. Draco pressed a hand to his shoulder, digging his fingers into his skin. His breathing was erratic but Harry could tell he was trying to slow it down.

Harry placed his free hand on the mattress next to Draco's head, trying to steady himself. He didn't want to hurt Draco, so he used a finger first, easing it inside of him, extremely carefully.

Draco's breathing hitched and he closed his eyes, barely relaxing the hand on his shoulder. He didn't seem in pain but there was a frown on his face. Harry kissed his neck, in the places he knew he loved, while his hand moved in between his legs, trying to make him moan again. There was no guide for this, but he felt like he knew what he was doing. Some of his Gryffindor pride, perhaps.

"I can stop"

"No, I'm fine" Draco's hand moved to his cheek and he touched it for a brief moment, before placing it on his shoulder again.

When he felt like it was time, he slid another finger in, hearing a more clear whimper from Draco. This time he looked in pain, biting his lower lip.

"Sorry, I-..."

"It's fine... Kiss me" Draco pulled him closer, kissing him fiercely. He moved one of his hands to his own cock, stroking himself as a way to relax. That was smart, Harry made a mental note to remember that for later.

It was easy to panic, in a situation like this when someone places their whole trust in you, but Harry felt exhilarated. He was good thinking quickly and making choices and Draco was letting him do all of that.

His chest filled with something warm that spread through his whole body, he was trying to get used to that feeling of love, of appreciation, of... Happiness.

They kept kissing, and he kept moving his fingers helping Draco relax. One of Draco's legs had come to rest on his waist, pulling him even closer and making his head spin. When he felt like it was enough -right about the moment when he heard one of Draco's moans again- he pulled his fingers out, and grabbed his wand. Using the same spell as before, he used the lube on his erection being careful not to move away from Draco.

Harry looked up, wanting to know if this was okay, if Draco was okay. There was a nod, and a small smile, and then they kissed again.

Still holding onto the mattress, he used his free hand to help himself. His heart was pounding when he finally pushed his cock inside of Draco. He didn't mean to moan, but he just did, his head pressing against Draco's shoulder. The slytherin, instead, was breathing as slowly as he could, one of his hands digging into Harry's shoulder. Harry couldn't think, his mind felt dazzy for a couple of seconds.

"Fuck" Draco placed his free hand over his mouth, frowning and breathing heavily.

"I can... I'll pull out, I'm sorry. Shit, Draco, I-..."

"No" Draco didn't raise his voice, but his tone was definitive "No, come here"

And so Harry leaned in, taking Draco's lips in his own, his free hand sliding in between their bodies to feel his cock, to touch him so he could feel as good as he felt.

It was a deep kiss, filled with all the things they didn't say, the things they couldn't say. It was a kiss for the two of them, for the rest of the World didn't exist anymore. Nothing existed then, only them.

Harry moved, very, very slowly. He didn't know if it was too soon, but that part of his body was begging him, and Draco looked better. There was a soft pant from the slytherin and then another kiss, and another and Harry couldn't hold back any longer. He raised his hand from the mattress to the headboard, finding a steady rhythm for his hips. It was driving him crazy, the way Draco's body felt, the waves of pleasure running through his body, the kissing, the touching, the fingernails running through his back. But the absolute best part of it all was all the sounds Draco was making. They were soft at first, but they grew in intensity with each thrust. There was no doubt in Harry's mind that they both were enjoying it, but he kept checking with Draco, sharing smiles or nods of confirmation.

They had touched each other extensively the past months, hell, they had gone all the way to oral sex and they had gotten quite good at it but this? Merlin, Harry wasn't sure how long he could last. It was too much, too good, and it was like nothing he had felt before.

Knowing he was close to his orgasm, he pressed his hand harder to the wood on the headboard, his free hand finding Draco's cock and stroking it as good as he knew to help him. He wanted him to be as close as he was, to finish together. Harry's hips moved much faster, losing its rhythm once the pleasure took over him.

Draco was holding him as close as they could be, looking at him with half closed eyes. It took the slytherin a few more strokes to come, but he did right after him.

Harry felt completely spent by the time Draco was done, and he could feel every single one of his muscles. His body gave up, laying on top of Draco, trying to get his heart and breathing controlled again. They were both sticky with sweat and extremely warm, but it was the greatest feeling of them all, somehow.

Harry managed to slip out of him without having to move much. He soon realized he was crushing Draco with his body, so he moved to lay next to him.

They were still panting when Draco pulled some sheets over his body, up to his belly. Harry didn't know why he was so self conscious or whatever. It was obvious he was beautiful, how could he not see it?

"That was-"

"Aha" Draco mumbled, a smile on his lips. It almost felt like they were about to start laughing at any moment.

Harry stretched himself a bit and then used his wand to clean both of them from... The least pleasant parts of having sex.

It was obvious to him that Draco was about to turn around and go to sleep, he always ended up tired, but this time Harry didn't feel tired, he felt so, so happy. And giddy, and a bit silly.

He moved closer to the other boy, spooning him when Draco turned his back to him. "Hi there" Harry whispered, hearing a small chuckle. "Thank you for... Letting me be the one who... You know"

Draco barely moved, just enough to look at him over his shoulder "There's nothing to thank, Harry... I enjoyed it as much as you did... Alright? I wasn't 'taking one for the team'"

"No, yeah, I know. I just..." No, Harry didn't know, but he didn't know what else to say. He just imagined that surely all boys wanted to be on top, like, always?

Draco raised an eyebrow at him, but kissed him, a small peck on the lips. He didn't move away though, their noses touching and their lips millimeters apart "It felt... Amazing. Thank you"

Harry smiled, stealing a couple more kisses before looking back at him "Yeah, it's kinda silly to thank each other. Sorry about that. I just... Don't know how to... This is all new and-..."

Draco laughed, turning around completely this time to be face to face with him. "Yes, it's new to me too. So... Sex makes you say even more stupid shit, huh?"

"Sod off!" They shared a laugh, and Harry moved closer, one arm around Draco's hips. "I don't say stupid shit"

"Hm, whatever you say, love"

"Oi!" Harry wanted to pretend like he was mad, and just keep joking around but that small slip, that small _love_ made his head spin. He leaned into Draco, kissing him and pulling him closer, so close that their chests were touching again. "Promise you'll say goodbye before you leave?"

Draco had his eyes closed, but was kissing him lazily. "I can't promise"

"Please"

His eyes opened, and he smiled "I'll try"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehe >D   
> I hope you liked it! Please leave a comment if you can, I got some amazing ones in the last chapter and it made me sooo happy you guys <3 
> 
> Also: It took me so long to write this one because for some reason I was already writting chapter 23 when I should've been writting this one hahahah


	23. Home, shit home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy!

There was no one expecting him when he arrived. The only greeting he got was silence. Draco wasn't sure what was better, to find an empty house or his parents. For the time being, the quiet was better.

"Thank you" Draco said, being polite to the auror assigned to make sure he would make it to his home from school. He would have liked to have been able to say goodbye to Harry, but he had had to leave before all the other students, just to be able to use McGonagall's fireplace. It had hurt to leave like that, without a warning or anything. They gave him his grades and then he had to leave. It was a cold reminder that there had been a trial, and he was 'serving time'. One way or another.

Back in the old days, he would've been greeted by a house elf. But they didn't have house elves anymore, at least not in this house. Merlin, they didn't even have their wands. The ministry didn't trust him with one around his parents, probably thinking Lucius would try to get a hold of it.

Since no one came to say hello, he left his bag over one of the sofas and started looking for his parents. He didn't want to see them, but he was going to be living with them for a whole year. Draco knew he wouldn't be able to avoid them forever, so it was best to get it over with. Ever since they found out, Draco's nights had been plagued with anxiety. He had worried about what they would say when they were alone, what they would want him to do. He had run almost every scenario in his mind, pictured every single insult they could throw at him. What would he do if he was disowned immediately? What would the ministry do? Would they leave him in the same house or would they make him go live somewhere else? He didn't want to think about it, but some days it was the only thing on his mind.

It took him longer than he expected, but he eventually found them, out in the garden. They had a lovely table ready with brunch. Nothing seemed touched.

"Mother, Father" He spoke, trying to sound polite and relaxed. Inside, he was about to scream.

There was a long, awkward silence, before his father stood up. "Smart of you to associate with Potter, of all people" That was his opening line, which made Draco's stomach turn. This could only get worse, and he didn't know if he was ready for it. He had run the scenario in his mind several times, but reality was worse.

Draco didn't know what to say to that, he knew his father was about to hurt him but he didn't know how.

"I suppose you are a Malfoy still, always planning ahead. You knew I would disown you for choosing this disgusting _lifestyle_ , so you chose Potter. Someone who can aid you financially"

"What? It's not like _that_ , I-"

"And the only thing you have to do is spread your legs once in a while. Not the worst deal, if you do not care about dignity... but, well, have you ever had any? Betraying your family, _twice_!"

It was as if someone had slapped him. The hot rush of humiliation running through his body. How dare he? How dare he say something so vile...?

"It is not like that, Father" Draco felt about to break, his magic a turmoil inside his body. He had always been excellent at hiding and controlling his emotions, but right then he was surprised he didn't shatter the cups on the table.

Lucius was staring at him, his long blond hair loose. Draco never allowed his own hair to get that long, the idea of looking more like his father...

"Lucius" Narcissa spoke, raising to her feet and walking towards her husband "Let him speak"

Draco felt their eyes on him and wished to disappear. "I-it's not out of interest. I'm not dating Potter just for his money, that's... Horrible"

Lucius sneered "Then you are not even smart enough to care about your future"

Draco fisted his hands, and even though he had short fingernails he was sure he would draw blood if he didn't stop. "I compromised _my_ future for my family, so don't talk about my future as if you _cared_!" Draco shook his head softly, walking back towards the house. He wanted to go to his bedroom, at least there he could breathe and get a hold of himself. It had been a mistake to look for them. A big mistake.

"Son" Narcissa tried to follow, holding the sides of her dress very slightly  "this is something we need to discuss, do not leave"

"There's nothing to discuss, mother"

"Listen to your mother, Draco" Lucius was glaring at him.

"Lucius" Narcissa moved a hand, clearly telling him to shut up "Draco, darling, I'll be upstairs in a minute"

They stared at each other, Draco wanted to tell her off but... The idea of _at least_ his mother accepting who he was made him contain himself. He nodded, and slowly walked inside the house and then upstairs, his magic still shaking inside his body. If he had had his wand... His bedroom would have ended completely thrashed. But he didn't have it. So he only sat down on his bed, clutching at a pillow so tightly his fingers hurt.

This was how they worked: his father would hurt him and then Narcissa would try to soothe him and mend his wounds. It could be too much. Draco pressed his face to the pillow, closing his eyes and breathing as slow as possible. He wanted to stop hurting all over, to shut down his emotions... He had done it so many times, why was it hard now?

Draco uncovered his face when the door opened, but much to his surprise it was his father. What was he doing there? Was he not done? Did he have more vile things to throw at him?

"I am willing to listen" Lucius said, pulling the desk chair and sitting right in front of him. He was tense, probably forced to be there by Narcissa.

Draco swallowed, unsure of what to say or how to say it. "This is who I am" his father frowned at his words but said nothing "This is what I want"

"Why?"

"I-... It just is" Draco wanted to elaborate further, to be better with words, but his heart was pounding so hard he couldn't hear himself inside his own head.

"What we want and what we _should_ do-"

"No, it's not like that"

Silence fell between them and Draco's hands tightened around the pillow.

"I cannot change this, Father. I have tried"

Lucius sneered, opened his mouth and... Said nothing. What was he thinking?

"Your mother and I... We knew you were different" Draco flinched, looking away "We tried to raise you right, Draco"

"This has nothing to do with how you raised me" He was getting desperate, was he never going to understand? "You wouldn't marry a man, and I wouldn't marry a woman. It's like that"

"But you marrying a woman would be natural"

Draco shook his head very softly, without making eye contact. He wished for Harry to magically appear next to him, to hold his hand, to hug him. He needed him.

"You will be burnt from the family tree, son"

Tears formed in his eyes, even if he didn't want them to. Would his father ever understand that, despite his sexuality, the love he felt for his family was true? That this would break something inside of him?

"Why? Are you-"

"No" Lucius tone was softer "I am not taking away your inheritance. But the family tree is embedded with old magic, and Potter is a half breed"

Draco frowned, a wave of anger making his heart pound faster. He made eye contact. "Don't you ever speak of him like that. Both his parents were wizards" Lucius seemed surprised, but Draco couldn't be sure if he was pleased or annoyed.

"His mother was a mudblood. That taints him and his line"

"Merlin, Father... Old families like ours allow... Allow _incest_ , and you call _them_ tainted?!"

Lucius pressed his lips together, almost taking all the color away from them "Our family does not do that sort of thing. We are a formidable family... Are you so selfish that you wish to end the Malfoy name with you?"

Draco felt millions of words inside his head, things he wanted to say, things he needed to hear himself say, and things he needed his father to hear. But he didn't know where to start. How do you face someone you both love and fear? Someone that, through years of conditioning, could break you with a word or two?

"Perhaps our name should die, Father" Lucius reacted as if he had been slapped, tense all around, anger in his eyes.

"What did you just say, _son_?"

"We are not... We are not a good family" He frowned, finding strength from somewhere deep within. The memories of Harry kissing him and telling him how good he was fueling his confidence. "Father, you are a murderer and a torturer. I know this, and you know this"

"The Dark Lord-"

"Might have told you to do those things, but you chose to follow and... Nobody made you enjoy it"

There was a long pause after that, and Draco wasn't sure how he managed to maintain eye contact without cowering in fear. His father had only hit him once, but he had never really needed to. He always knew what to say to undo him.

"There were things that needed to be done, for the good of the cause"

"A horrible cause"

Lucius frowned "You would not think this if we had won"

"I wouldn't be allowed to think this, Father. Or did you forget how it was with him in our home?" Draco would never forget "We might not like muggles, Father, but... All that pain, and death and for what?" his father did not respond.

The silence seemed to last for a whole minute, before Lucius decided to speak again, this time he sounded tired. "Whatever it is that's going on with you... It wouldn't have lasted if the Dark Lord lived"

"Of course n-"

"They would have tortured you, or worse" _worse_ "I wouldn't have wanted that, son" He sighed, a hand rubbing his forehead "I cannot understand this. It will bring shame to our name and end our line... But... "

But. _But?_ Draco wanted to jump from his bed and shake him. But what?

Lucius got up very slowly, giving him a thoughtful look before walking towards the door. He stopped when his hand touched the wood "I did not enjoy it"

Draco stood up, wanting to say more, do more. They weren't a cuddly family, but.. _But_... He bit his lip and stared, not knowing how to approach this.

"The Dark Lord liked to-..." He stopped himself, sighed and opened the door "Good night, son"

Draco watched him go and sat back down on the bed, his head spinning. His father, Lucius Malfoy, had actually listened to him. Merlin. He had no hopes of their relationship improving much, but this had been a change. A good one? He wasn't sure. He wasn't disowned yet, so at least there was that. Of course, the thought of being burnt from the family tree hurt more than he wished to admit. But at least he had his family... What was left of it.

"Darling?"

Draco looked up, his mother smiling from the door. They had the same blond hair, and the same smile. He had heard his father say that to her, so it must've been true.

"Yes? Uhm, come in"

Narcissa sat right next to him, placing a hand on his back and rubbing it softly "I can't convince you to change your mind, can I?"

Would they ever understand it wasn't a choice?

"No"

"Alright then" She pulled him to her side with an arm, kissing the top of his head "Does this mean I have to be nice to Potter?"

Draco chuckled, but suddenly felt like crying "Yeah?"

Narcissa made a disgusted noise, but hugged him tighter "My son" She cooed kissing his head again "We will make the best of it, yes? Don't worry about your reputation"

Draco frowned, moving away from her "No, we are not using Harry's fame. Mother, _promise_ me..."

She frowned, her brain clearly thinking new strategies. People would never know how smart and strategic she was. Draco both admired and feared those qualities "Promise"

Perhaps Narcissa's weakness was never being able to say no to him, not really.

"Draco, darling, I... We..." She frowned "I will not lose you because of..."

"Of me being gay," Draco looked at her, not as scared as he had been around his father "you can say it"

She touched his cheek "Yes, yes, you being... Gay. I will not lose my family... But this is not easy on your father, you must understand"

Why? Why understand _him_? Couldn't Lucius understand him instead?

"He probably wishes me dead"

"Don't you ever say such nonsense. Your father was... He loves you so much, Draco" She sighed "Do you think I would still be with him if he didn't?"

"I-... Pure bloods don't get divorced"

She laughed, moving a strand of her hair away from her face "Oh, darling..."

"It's what you taught me"

"Well... I also taught you how to be mischievous" She winked and they shared a playful smirk "Your father is a good man"

He looked down at his own hands, feeling guilty at the things he had called his father moments ago. People would never understand them. Not even Harry, not really. They would forever be Death Eaters at worst, cowards at best. No one would ever see the love, would they?

"I never wanted to be a... A disappointment" Draco whispered, voice breaking.

"Son" Narcissa was frowning, serious, an expression she had probably gotten from being around Lucius so much "I am _so_ proud of you... I should have said so before"

Draco didn't know what to say. Or do. He wanted to hug her but her dress was new and he didn't want to wrinkle it.

"Thank you"

"You used to be so happy" She whispered, staring at him but Draco could see her mind was miles away. "You would laugh and run around the house... I-... We used to-... " She shook her head, almost as if forcing the memories away.

"I want to hear it..."

Narcissa almost looked surprised "I-... When you were a baby, a tiny, tiny baby" Her expression was soft, loving "your father and I would look at you while you slept... You were so fragile and perfect" Her voice broke and she swallowed "Oh, we had no idea what to do" A smile appeared and Draco smiled back "We would spend hours with you, just... Holding you. It feels like yesterday"

Draco had no memories of any of it, but not everything had been bad with them. "I shouldn't have allowed our beliefs to get in the way of your happiness" She frowned "I-... I wanted a better world for you, Draco"

"This is the better world, mom"

She nodded, thoughtful. She wasn't convinced yet but... Draco knew she would see it soon enough.

"I should leave you to rest"

"Thank you"

**

"We need to talk about this" Narcissa finally spoke, staring at her husband in bed next to her. He pressed his lips into a thin line and moved to turn off the lights, but she quickly stopped him. They had been avoiding the topic all day. Draco hadn't left his bedroom, not even for diner and they were both slightly worried. Of course, Lucius was sure Draco was too tired from coming back from school and... their talk, but Narcissa was worried about his wellbeing.

Knowing there was no way he could change Narcissa's mind, he finally spoke "No, we do not. You told me to speak to him and I did"

"Yes, thank you for that" Narcissa sat on the bed, her nightgown sliding up over her knees. She caught Lucius staring at her legs, and smiled. "We can't lose him, Lucius"

"He's making a terrible mistake. He doesn't know what he is doing, either"

"I think he does"

"No, he doesn't. He hasn't seen what the public will think of this, or his friends, or 'our' friends. And if we support this... This _insanity_ , he will think everything's fine"

"I don't think he cares about all of that, darling" Lucius glared at her, but without real malice "You keep telling me to see him as a man and not a boy, but you are the one that speaks of him as a child now. He's capable of making his own decisions"

There was a long pause, both of them staring into each other's eyes, neither wanting to give in.

"Isn't our job to protect him?"

"Darling-"

"To guide him?"

"Lucius, I think he loves him"

Lucius stopped immediately as if he hadn't even considered that as one of his son's motives. Realization seemed to hit him, so she took his hand and waited for a couple more moments. It was hard for Lucius to accept this. Many things were difficult for him.

"I-..." He held her hand a bit tighter and frowned "He could love someone else"

"You could love someone else"

He gave her a look as if he had been slapped "No, I could not"

Narcissa did her very best to try and not smile "Your son is as stubborn as you are... I know we don't want this life for our child but we cannot lose him, Lucius. Not again"

She hugged him, very tightly, burying her head on his chest. Her long blonde hair fell all around her and his hands quickly caressed it. There was much love in the way he held her. Narcissa had always felt safe in between his arms.

"We didn't lose him"

"Don't you remember how he was? So happy... And one day he started... He... Lucius, we almost lost him forever" She looked up, without tears and without fear. Resolve written all over her. "I won't lose my child... And if that means I have to support _'this'_ then I _will_ "

Lucius opened his mouth to protest but found a kiss instead. He cupped her head between his hands and kissed back. "I don't like it, 'Cissa"

"And you think I do? But it's our child, Lucius"

"I know" He closed his eyes, but opened them when Narcissa moved on top of him, sitting on his lap. "I'm not in the mood for..." He started, placing his hands on her waist.

"Neither am I, Lucius. My eyes are up here, you know?" She said, a smile on her lips as her husband looked up. Seeing Lucius blush was something few people had witnessed. She was one of the lucky ones. "Remember his birth?"

"I... Yes"

He frowned for a moment, the memory of that night hanging in between the two of them. Draco's birth had been extremely difficult. There had been a moment when she was sure she wouldn't make it. But she did. The crying of her child was still the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. When the midwife gave her the baby she wouldn't let him go. She could hear them saying things like _'we need to wash him'_ and _'let us see if he's alright'_ and _'it's only for a moment'_ but she wouldn't let him go. He was a small crying thing, perfect and he was safe with her.

"You were there with me" Narcissa touched his soft cheeks "I didn't want to let go of him, in my mind no one was going to look after him as well as I could"

"He was perfectly fine, but you needed the rest... I remember the blood"

She shook her head "That's not what I remember... You sat next to me, made me look at you. You were so happy-"

"I was proud, as well"

She smiled, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips "You told me you would protect him. You said _'I'm his father, let me hold him. He'll be safe'_... So I gave him to you"

Narcissa would never forget her husband carrying their child around the room. It was like staring at her own heart. He seemed different somehow, soft, happy. So happy.

"I have protected him, Narcissa..."

"Not always"

"We can't always be there. He's an adult"

"He is now, but before we... We saw what was being asked of him... We-" Lucius hugged her, sitting closer and resting his chin on her shoulder.

"We are alive. But I-... I suppose I can see your point" he sighed "And of course I love him, Narcissa. Just because I don't approve of this doesn't mean I suddenly hate him"

"I don't think he knows that"

Lucius moved back, staring at her with confusion on his face "What do you mean? I have always given him anything he wanted"

Narcissa seemed unsure, without looking at him she got up from the bed. Her legs moved around the room and she followed, trying to think how to say this to him "Lucius, we made mistakes"

"We raised him right, Narcissa"

"Perhaps" She stopped and turned to him "I think he fears you"

Lucius opened his mouth but closed it, he knew that was true. It didn't matter what he said or what excuses he came up with: his own son feared him. Sometimes he couldn't understand why, he had been much better than his own father. How could that not be enough?

He couldn't fix what had been done. And he couldn't turn back time, so he tried to avoid thinking about his mistakes as a father. Which, in turn, made him angry every time he talked to his son and that was... unfair. He knew it was.

"This could be an opportunity... To show him how much he means to us"

"Our family is dying with him"

Narcissa frowned "Is that all he is to you? An heir? _That's_ why you wanted a son?"

"What? No. Narcissa..." He held her head between his hands, a headache looming in the distance "Of course not. He is my son, but he is also our heir"

"He is" She paused "the heir of house Black and house Malfoy" A little smile crept up on her face as she slipped back into the bed "He's everything we hoped for, Lucius..."

Lucius rubbed his forehead with a hand and nodded "This is... A lot for a day, my love"

"Imagine living with this for years"

"Years?"

"Think about it, Lucius... Haven't we always known?"

Lucius frowned thinking that no, he hadn't known but perhaps his wife was right -as she usually was. Narcissa could see he was too stressed and tired to keep talking, so she pressed herself next to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"We don't have to be nice to Potter, though" He groaned, causing her to chuckle.

**

Draco found himself waking up with the same set of clothes. It wasn't the first time he had slept with his uniform on, but this time it felt different somehow. And, being honest, he felt a little bit disgusting. He forced himself out of the bed and into his bathroom. Preparing a bath without any magic felt unnatural to him, and it took longer than it should. Draco left the water running and took off the uniform, folding it carefully, with an odd sort of care. It was the last time he would wear it. It felt good, knowing those years were long gone.

There was an urge to cover the mirror, to not look at himself but he didn't give in. A lot had happened and, perhaps, if someone found him attractive - _desirable,_ even- then he should work towards, at the very least, accepting himself.

Draco lowered himself into the bath, finding it a bit too hot for his liking, but not knowing how to fix it without any magic. Surely Potter would know. He groaned, annoyed at himself for missing him so. He had feared this would happen, that he would go home and wish and wish to be back with him. That was part of the reason why he had tried not to sleep with Potter before their break. How was he going to endure a whole year without his hands? Without his kiss?

Taking their relationship to the next level was good, but being apart sucked.

Draco lowered himself, allowing the water to cover all of him, even his head. It felt good, water all around him, silence, peace. He couldn't die like this, he already knew it, but he didn't want to die. He only wanted the peace and quiet from the in between.

He didn't last long, coming up for air only after a few seconds, his chest aching.

Draco had to face the day eventually, he knew that, but he didn't know if he was ready, even if the talk with his parents had gone better than expected. No, he wasn't ready.

Deep down, he knew he would never be, so he had to just force himself to keep moving, to face whatever came his way. To be brave.

Bravery. What a stupid trait. One he wished he had, at least for a day. For that day.

When his fingers became wrinkled and disgusting, he left the bath, drying himself with a towel like some sort of muggle. He changed quickly into a fresh pair of clothes, something informal but all black. It was a good color, it made him feel safe. And he needed _safe_ in his life.

The house seemed to be eerily quiet as the day before. No aurors in the house that morning, that was good. They came and went, Draco knew some were stationed outside, or making sure the wards kept them inside but he couldn't care less about them. As long as they kept their distance, he would do everything he could to tune their presence out.

Draco walked to the garden, knowing he would find at least one of his parents there. He had hoped to find his mother. He wasn't so lucky.

There was a single table set up on the garden, it wasn't as big or expensive looking as the ones they used to have back at the old manor, but it still screamed elegance. They had enough food -although Draco wondered who made it- and tea. Merlin, he had missed having a good cup of tea. The school's wasn't as good as the one back home.

Trying not to pay attention to the knot on his belly -and knowing he had already been seen- he walked towards the table, taking one of the two empty seats. His father closed the newspaper, placing it on the table, before turning towards him.

Oh, great.

"Good morning"

"Morning" Draco found his voice too strained, so he tried to clear his throat, trying to find some of the strength he had had the day before.

"We hoped you would come down for dinner last night"

"I wasn't hungry, father"

There was a long pause, only interrupted by Lucius stirring his tea.

"Where's mother?"

"Asleep"

"Oh"

Lucius focused on him again "She seems to think that you are afraid of me"

Shit. Shit. What to say? What to do? Draco stayed very still, not knowing if this was another test.

"Why would she think that?"

"Is it true?" Draco knew what the truth was, but he didn't feel... Safe enough to say it. Hell, he didn't know if his father truly wanted to know how he felt about him. "Son-"

"I guess I was"

"But not anymore?"

Draco frowned, looking at one of his fisted hands underneath the table, he hadn't even realized he was doing that. With a sigh, he relaxed it, staring back at Lucius. "I've seen a of things, father. I-"

Lucius seemed uneasy but didn't push. Thank Merlin.

"I just... Hope you know I wouldn't hurt you"

The silence that followed was telling. Draco didn't mean to keep quiet, but he found himself unable to lie. It had been much easier to pretend that everything was alright before his parents knew about this small detail about himself. What was the point of pretending anymore? It's not like he had that many secrets. Draco could still feel his father's gaze when he reached for the teapot.

"I need to know something" Draco managed to say, trying not to sound too shaken. Would he have to endure this feeling every single day until he left home? This deep gut-wrenching feeling of being a disappointment? This oddly shaped shame? "Will this be an issue, father?"

"You know the answer to that, son. Good morning" His mother spoke from behind him, reaching the table without any sort of hurry. How much had she heard? Draco was really good at sensing when someone was behind him or spying, had he let down his guard that much already? She sat down on the empty seat next to her husband, and took her cup, placing it next to Draco's. "Why do you ask?"

"I know this is..." He swallowed, pouring some tea on his mother's cup and then his own "I'm not asking about what other people will think about this. I meant... Between us"

Lucius and Narcissa shared a look, but they didn't answer and that silence broke something inside Draco's chest. He had, somehow despite all his logic and pessimism, hoped for his parents to show him some sort of unconditional love. Ha. He had been foolish.

"This raises a lot of questions for us, Draco. We weren't expecting it"

"I understand"

Lucius gave his wife an odd look, but Draco didn't know why or what it meant. He wondered if his interactions with Harry looked like that to outsiders. He liked the thought, of the two of them finding that sort of understanding that only comes with time.

Draco swallowed, wanting to say that he didn't know if he would be able to live under the same roof as them if everyday would be plagued of venomous comments and insinuations. He already felt enough shame as it was, he didn't need a repeat of the previous day.

"Maybe I could answer some of your questions..."

Narcissa frowned, stirring her tea without looking at him.

"Your mother and I... We think you should get ahead of the press"

Ugh. Draco was surprised the papers didn't know about them. Someone from school was bound to talk, sooner or later... If it hadn't happened already. He didn't want to know what they would write. Horrible, hurtful things for sure. His common sense told him the most common story would be him having Potter under the Imperius curse. Just thinking about it hurt.

"No"

"No? I thought you were being serious about this. Or is it just a fling?"

"I am serious about this"

"Hm, perhaps Potter isn't" Narcissa scoffed, placing the cup between her lips to give her tea a couple sips. She had perfect manners, and he had never seen her lose composure. Not even when Voldemort was at their house.

Draco tried to count to three before speaking, but failed. "I won't go to the press before talking to him about it. That's not how we do things"

Both his parents frowned at him, displeased. Well, he wasn't going to back down about this, so they would have to endure it. The same way he had endured years of hiding and biting his tongue

Narcissa made a sound with her tongue and slightly turned to him "There's still the matter of the heir to discuss"

"There's nothing to discuss there" Draco didn't know what to say. He wasn't even twenty and they wanted him to promise to have a child! Years back, he thought it was perfectly normal, getting married and having children as soon as possible -just the way of old families, no? - but he didn't feel like that anymore.

"Of course there is. You need an heir, this family needs-,"

"I might have a child, but I can't promise it will be... Biological"

Lucius seemed paler than usual, but extremely focused as well. That was never a good sign. He played with one of his rings, and Draco could tell it was the family' signet ring. He didn't wear his own anymore, not since he took the mark.

"Your mother and I believe we could be able to find a good pure blood girl, one that no one wants to marry. She could allow you to have a child and we would pay her a good amount for-"

"What? No, _no_ , that's insane. Please, stop" Draco felt his stomach completely closed, he was sure he wouldn't be able to drink a single drop of his tea.

"Insane? It's the best course of action. For Merlin' sake, Draco, you would have to sleep with her _once_ and that's all. Is that too much to ask in exchange for keeping our family alive?"

"Yes. Yes, it is" Draco moved his hands under the table so they wouldn't notice their shaking. "It's not something I would do, and I wouldn't choose any of this without talking to Harry first and-"

Narcissa reached out, touching one of his arms and squeezing softly. He didn't know if she was trying to comfort him, but he wanted to lean in and convince her that their idea was insane.

"Mom, I-"

She shook her head "We all have to make sacrifices, son... You need a child that's your own, that has our blood... That's family"

Draco felt sick. Sick at what she was saying, yes, but the thought that truly made him want to puke was how she was trying to manipulate him through her 'comforting' presence. Was he just a pawn to them?

He swallowed, moving his mother's hand away from his arm while he tried to calm down.

"Our _blood_ " Draco said, feeling something take over, his heart pounding but not drowning out his thoughts. Adrenaline pumping through his whole body "So you want to talk about our blood and family... Let's" He ignored the way his father was about to speak, probably to stop him. Oh, it was too late "Let's talk about it, mother. How about Andromeda, the sister you don't see anymore because she married the wrong man? True, you kept in touch for longer than anyone would believe, but not long enough. Her child is dead and you still won't-...!" He breathed in, finding all the things he had inside and hadn't known how to say. All the questions, the doubts, the anger "And let's talk, mother, about my cousin. Your niece, murdered by your other sister. The crazy one? Oh, but her blood was pure, of course" He got up, unable to just sit there. He was tired of pretending that everything was alright "Or maybe we should talk about Regulus Black? I know what he truly did, I _know_. And, oh, maybe Sirius? Turned his back on all of you, got himself killed fighting... His own _fucking blood_ "

Narcissa got up so fast Draco almost expected her wand to be raised, but of course she didn't have it. He had never seen her mother as hurt and angry as she was then. He was sure she was going to slap him, and perhaps she should, but he didn't care. He needed to say it! He needed to. He was tired of so much hypocrisy. He was tired of not knowing anyone from his extended family. True, he didn't have much family left, but... Things could have been different. Much, much different.

Lucius stood up as well, and Draco felt a cold sensation run through his back. He didn't want to fear him, but he did. Maybe he always would.

"I need... I-" Narcissa seemed to reach for words and lose them, so she simply said nothing else. She walked past Draco, straight towards the house without looking back once.

Draco stared at her as she went, not knowing what to say and feeling the anger leave his body almost as quickly as it came. In its place a strong feeling of guilt appeared, making his knees weaken and forcing him to sit once more.

"There was no need for that, Draco" His father spoke very calmly, walking away from the table that looked odd now. Who was going to eat all that food? No one was in the mood anymore. "This came in the mail for you" He dropped an unsealed letter on his lap, giving him a look. Draco didn't know if he was disappointed or angry, because he couldn't look him in the eye "I'll be with your mother, who has done nothing but support you"

Draco didn't know what to say. He didn't know if that was true, or if it was another way to manipulate him, to coerce him into agreeing to something he didn't want to do. So instead, he kept quiet, tense, staring at the letter in his lap with a seal and handwriting he recognized almost instantly.

Somehow, after what had just happened, he didn't feel like he deserved to hear from Harry.

**

Draco knew it wouldn't be hard to get lost in the house without any human contact for the rest of the day, but he didn't want that. The one thing he wanted was the thing he would've been dreading years back. He wanted to talk to his mother and explain, to have an honest talk. Like the ones they seemed to be having more and more. It was partly due to selfish reasons: he wanted to know if things could work out with the three of them, or if they would fight and hurt each other incessantly, making their living situation unbearable. But his reasons weren't all about himself. He needed to know if she was alright, if he had hurt her. He wanted to apologize.

They weren't the type of family to apologize, at least not like normal people did. Perhaps that needed to change.

Sadly for Draco, he didn't cross paths with his mother until later that afternoon. He had no clue where she had been, but something told him she had been in her bedroom with his father.

Narcissa was sitting on one the living room couches, her legs tucked underneath her body and her eyes on the fireplace. There was no real need to have a lit fireplace in June, but it was comforting, and Draco suspected she liked to watch the dancing flames as much as he did.

"Mother?"

She moved her head to see him, but didn't smile. "Yes? Do you need anything?"

"Yes. Can we talk?" There was a small sigh, and she pointed at the empty space on the sofa. He gladly took it. "I'm sorry for what I said"

Narcissa shook her head and shrugged "You only spoke the truth, did you not?"

"It wasn't... It isn't my place. I don't know the full story, do I?" There was a small curve on her lips "I just... I want to explain myself"

"You don't have to. I-..." She sighed again "We have always talked about your heir, I don't understand why you got so upset"

"That's... that's just it" He whispered, a bit unsure. "It's something that was always on my mind, like something I _had_ to do" He bit down on his lower lip "Something that made me think that... the way I was... the way I _am_ is wrong. Being with a boy I wouldn't be able to have children of my own, so I thought _of course_ being gay was... wrong and unnatural"

Draco kept his eyes on the couch's fabric as he spoke, not knowing from where he was getting all that strength. A year ago he wouldn't have been able to say the words 'I'm gay' out loud, and now he was saying not only that, but some of the reasons why he felt so ashamed.  

"We never knew you felt that way, Draco" He gave her a look, and she smiled. It was a sad type of smile, but it was there nonetheless "I suspected it, yes. Tsk, my boy..." Her hand found her way to his cheek, and she caressed it for a couple moments. "Our family is a complicated one, is it not? But-"

"Yes?"

Her eyes drifted back to the fire a few feet away and she dropped her hand back to her side "I still love them. _All_ of them"

Draco was surprised. Perhaps he shouldn't have been, but he was. There was something in the way she said it, a longing he would never understand. He had never met any of his extended family, not in a way that could make him care _too much_ for them. His mother's words implied an unwavering love for Bellatrix, for Andromeda, for... Sirius. He had so many questions, and he was sure he would never get the answers he hoped.

"My sisters and I, we were so close" She smiled, closing her eyes "That was a long, long time ago."

"You could still see her. Andromeda, I mean. She's alive, she's out there... I'm sure she would love to-"

"No" Narcissa opened her eyes and stared at him "No, son. There's too much in between-..."

Draco wanted to say that he wanted to know, that he would listen to her story without saying anything or interrupting but he knew his mother's word was final. It had always been like this, especially about Andromeda, or Bellatrix, or any of her family members. If he thought about it, not even the Dark Lord had mentioned another Black in front of her.

"We are not trying to push you away, but we are worried. You must know this will do no good to your reputation, yes?"

"I do know" Draco slump back on the couch, trying not to feel defeated. His reputation was... shit, it truly was. And people knowing he was dating the hero? It would do him no good. People were looking for any excuse to hate him even more, and he was going to hand them one on a silver platter. Hells, he had already seen what other boys his age -and younger- thought of the pairing. Not only that, but being at school meant those boys couldn't actually act like people in the real world would. Yes, they could try and hex them or throw slurs at them, but back at Hogwarts there was a Headmistress, and wards, and people actually concerned with the wellbeing of students. The real world? No one was going to be there to take care of them, or to look after their mental stability. The tabloids would run with the craziest stories, they would try to take pictures of them, they would harass Harry and himself and it would make it all the worse.

Draco didn't want to think about it, because he knew the type of pressure it could put on their relationship. It could break it entirely, all those opinions, all that hate. And the last thing he wanted was to be left alone with the feelings he had.

"If we say things to you it's because we want you to be careful, we are trying to help. To protect you"

"I don't need protecting. Things... Some things will happen, mother. Even if I go to the papers with the story first, they will twist my words. And even if they don't, people will still don't like it"

She nodded, a small frown on her porcelain face. "This is not something that our community approves, that's true"

"What about our friends?"

Narcissa allowed herself a small chuckle "What friends, dear? We are all alone, to fend for ourselves"

"Surely father still has some..."

"Connections? Perhaps. Some people respect us, but they are very few. And I would be inclined to believe those people are afraid of us. Once they realize there is nothing to fear... they will be of no use"

"No, that can't be true"

She smirked "Did you think all those people at the parties and dinners were our friends? I taught you better than that"

"No, but... there has to be some good people in there. Like... me and Pansy, or Blaise"

There was a sad expression on her face, almost as if she didn't want to tell him a hard truth. He had seen her like this a lot in his life, but it had usually been about silly things. "Have you spoken to them recently?"

No. He had not. Last time he spoke to Pansy she had been quite clear about keeping some distance, to try and better her own reputation. He didn't blame her, but it had hurt. And Blaise? He knew nothing of him.

Draco pressed his lips together, and crossed his arms. "They won't-... Let's not talk about that"

He heard a small 'hm' and her mother moved, accommodating herself right next to him, their shoulders bumping very slightly. They stayed in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company. Or perhaps they didn't know what else to say. Perhaps there was nothing else to say. Draco felt exhausted, and this was only the beginning.

"My baby boy is in love"

Draco groaned, feeling something warm creep up from his neck to his ears. He hoped to not be blushing, and kept staring intently at the fireplace.

"Is he good?"

"The best"

"Good" She placed a hand on his shoulder "That's good"

He relaxed, a little voice telling him she wasn't the enemy. Or at least she didn't seem to be. Things could change, but for now they seemed... more accepting than any other pure blood family.

"Was dad good?" He turned to her.

She chuckled "I was one of the lucky ones"

"What do you mean?"

Narcissa rolled her eyes at him, and pulled him in to kiss his forehead before getting up from the couch. Draco wasn't sure if the talk had helped, but her mother seemed more relaxed, and there was a small smile on her lips.

"You have no idea what it's like to be a pure-blood woman" She placed a hand on his hair and caressed it very lightly, before walking away from him. "Your father is a good man, but not all of my friends were that lucky"

Oh.

Draco nodded, he had never thought about it that way. The pure families were dwindling and marriages were always arranged so... Yeah, he could see how some women would be trapped in unhappy, unhealthy marriages. He was lucky his parents loved each other. Draco didn't want to think about his friends, but he couldn't help to think about Pansy's parents, and how he knew they despised each other. Pansy had told him, sometimes while sobbing, that they tried to be as far away from each other as possible. They even went as far as to have their vacations on different countries, forcing their daughter to choose.

"He's really good, mom"

She smiled again, staring at him as if trying to be sure he was telling her the truth. "Invite him for dinner"

Oh. Oh, no. No.

"Mother, that's a mistake"

She laughed "Maybe. I don't mean right now, but... when you both feel ready. Your father will be your father, and I'll be me" That wasn't reassuring, but he didn't say so. "But it... we'll try"

Draco smiled "I'll think about it"

**

He wasn't particularly fond of the summer, but he liked having his bedroom windows open after sunset. The cool breeze was lovely after a day packed with heath, of course.

Dinner was brief but civilized. Draco was tempted to ask who cooked, but preferred not to. The food wasn't bad, but it didn't feel like the one the house elves produced back at the Manor.

His father gave him looks all night, almost as if he wanted to say something, or ask something but didn't know how to. That was a first. His father always seemed to speak his mind in his presence, but not now. Draco wanted to believe he had changed, or that he was picking his words carefully this time.

At the same time, he hoped not to be a bigger disappointment than he already was. It was difficult, knowing you are nothing like what your parents envisioned. Sometimes, Draco wondered if he would have this feeling if he had a brother. Perhaps then the burden would be divided.

Once he was inside his bedroom, he locked the door and sat on his desk. Potter's letter felt heavy inside his pocket, he hadn't read it yet.

He pulled the piece of parchment from the envelope and straightened it, trying to keep his heartbeat normal.

_"Draco,_

_I tried to find you, but they told me you were already gone. I don't know why they made you leave a day earlier. That's so unfair. Did you try to find me? I'm not trying to sound bitter, I just wanted to see you._

_How did it go? Are you okay? I can't imagine what it was like facing your parents, and if it went poorly and you need to talk you only need to write me and I'll be there. You are allowed visitors, right? I know what face you are making and no, I don't care if your father's there. I can deal with that if it means I get to see you._

_And if it went well, I'm happy for you. You deserve all the love in the world._

_Do you want to tell me about it? Just... write to me, please?_

_I'm sure I sound needy, what have you done to me? Anyway, I'm writing from Grimmauld already. It feels even worse than during the break. I don't know why. I guess I don't like being here alone. And knowing I'll be here for... well, as long as I want? There's no school to go back to. Nothing to 'guide us', huh? Is this being an adult?_

_Sorry, I got a bit weird there._

_Write back._

_Love,  
Harry_

_(PS: To the auror that might read this: fuck off)_

Draco chuckled, smiling at the letter. He could hear Harry's voice and it only made him miss him more. Was this all they could have? Letters? For a whole year?

He didn't know if he was _enough_  to keep Harry interested for a whole year of long distance relationship, but he didn't know if he was _enough_ to live with him and _keep_ him either. Draco was sure that if he tried to go live with him, their relationship would crash and burn, and something told him that if they kept apart like this Harry would get bored of him and just... fall for someone else.

Draco took a piece of paper to write back, he even wet the tip of his quill... before putting it all back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I hope you liked this one. This update came quickly because I was writting this chapter almost as the same time as chapter 22 haha!   
> Leave a comment if you can, I love to read what you all think <3
> 
> PS: Extra points(? if you know where the name of the chapter came from ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Important note; My native language is not english so there will be grammar/orthography mistakes and I am truly truly sorry about that. I am trying my best but I don't have a beta (yet?). 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you can! All of you are the real mvps
> 
> PS: I missed writing my boys


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